


Salvation and Rapture (for the Lonely)

by exarchangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Amputee Sam, Caring John Winchester, Disabled Character, Explicit Sex, Like Whoa, M/M, Minor Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sam Has a Dog, also a lot of minnesota locations are referrenced, and there's some angst later on but you can figure that out for yourselves, cute morons, everyone's gay (but what else is new), like he's actually a great parent in this fic, mary's dead tho, mild homophobia, not really "minor" but side, they go on road trips and stuff too, they really like georgia O'Keeffe too?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-18 15:01:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 95,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5932561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exarchangel/pseuds/exarchangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after his previous relationship's capricious end, Sam Winchester has finally decided to date again. The only problem is, after being out of the scene for so long, he's not sure where to begin. When a new patient rolls into his Physical Therapy office, however, Sam realizes that he may not have to look very far at all.<br/>~<br/>After a devastating accident lands Gabriel Novak in the hospital, he does his best to look on the positive side of things. It definitely doesn't hurt that his new therapist is like sex on legs. (Well, at least <em>a</em> leg.) Sometimes, he learns, even bad situations can have good outcomes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I can’t believe it’s posting time already. I would like to give a huge thanks to my incredibly  
> talented beta reader [Dimps](http://archiveofourown.org/users/wannaliveindeansdimples/pseuds/wannaliveindeansdimples), and [fantastic artist](http://jvalentyne.tumblr.com/). This fic wouldn’t be half as great without their help.  
> I also give a major shoutout to my friend Ally, for motivating me, listening to me ramble on  
> about ideas, and giving great suggestions for some of the finer details. This fic might not have  
> even been completed if she hadn’t reminded me to write all the time.  
> And finally, a huge thanks to all of my readers, on this and any other work. You have no idea  
> how happy I am when I get a notification for a new comment or kudos. Reader feedback and  
> support is the whole reason I post these things. I hope you enjoy reading this fic as much as I  
> did writing it!  
> [link to art](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6004965) (also embedded in ch 10)  
> Find me on tumblr [here](http://apiancas.tumblr.com/)

The last thing Gabriel could remember was a flare of bright light, followed by an all-encompassing darkness and blinding pain, pretty much everywhere. He knew there had been an accident, and he knew it had been bad. When he woke up, however, he felt surprisingly… _numb._

Gabe knew that Cas was there before he even opened his eyes, sitting in one of those sterile, plastic hospital chairs, probably going half out of his mind. The whole room was white, and it smelled like disinfectant, and there was the faint drone of machinery filling every corner. It was unnerving.

As soon as Gabe looked at him, his brother reached out and grabbed his hand, holding it like he was afraid to let go. He was smiling, even though his bloodshot eyes were framed with dark circles, making him appear much older than his years. His hair was a complete mess, like he’d been running his hands through it for the last hour.

“What’s new, kiddo?” Gabriel had meant for it to come out lighthearted, but his throat felt absolutely raw, and his voice sounded unused.

Cas took a deep breath, thinking over how to phrase his next sentence.

“You were driving home from work, and there was a car accident. Icy roads, busy street. The police said they also think that the other driver might have been intoxicated.” Cas said it as calmly as possible, but his face betrayed his demeanor.

_“And?”_

“And… you went into a coma. For the past nine days. When I first got the call, the doctor said they almost lost you, but you pulled through. They told me they didn’t know when, or if, you were going to wake up, though.”

_Oh god. Nine days?_ He did the math in his head, trying to remember what day it had happened. _So that made today...Tuesday? Poor Cas had probably been sitting there the entire time, too. Damnit._

“Sorry, but you can’t get rid of me that easy,” Gabe teased, smiling weakly. “So, what’s the damage?”

Cas chewed on his lip nervously, searching for the right words to answer with. He chose the direct approach, as it happened.

“Minor spinal cord injury. There’s, um, lower body paralysis right now, but the injury was incomplete, so there’s a good chance you’ll gain movement back.” He tried to make it sound as positive as he could.

_Paralysis?? As in, immobile, wheelchair-bound, honest-to-god, handicapped?_ Sure, he was alive, but Gabe really didn’t know if that was good news or not.

“So… what now?” He asked, assuming at this point Cas knew a lot more about his condition than he did himself.

“Now? We adjust, I suppose. You’re going to move in with me after they release you, and I guess you’ll start physical therapy as soon as they can set up a session. As for _right now_ , I think I should probably get the nurse.” He tried to smile, but it didn’t hide the fact that he looked absolutely exhausted.

“Before you do that, can you come here a second?” Gabriel asked, doing his best not to freak out about the current situation, or at least not do it in front of Cas.

“Why?” 

“Just come here,” he insisted, motioning with his hand.

Cas nodded and got up, and as soon as he was close enough, Gabriel pulled him into a hug, tight enough to crack his ribs. Cas squeezed back gently, and Gabe assumed there must have been other injuries from the crash, and he was just too high on pain meds to feel them at the moment.

“Thank you,” Gabriel whispered against his brother’s shoulder.

“For what?”

“For staying. For everything.”

“Of course I stayed.” Cas said incredulously. He sounded choked.

“I know. I bet you haven’t slept in days.”

Cas laughed, even though Gabe could feel tears soaking through the shoulder of his gown.

“I love you,” Cas finally managed, pulling away so he could go notify the nurse.

“Love you too, kiddo.” 

He knew Cas was twenty-eight years old, and was, in everyone else’s eyes, a fully grown and capable adult man. But to Gabriel, especially right now, all he could see was his eight year old little brother, coming to him in tears with a scraped knee or bloody nose. 

Cas had always been the outwardly emotional one, crying over just about anything that upset him. Gabe was better at holding it together, but he still felt just as deeply, whether it showed or not.

-

A nurse in mint green scrubs came in a minute later, carrying a clipboard and looking very professional about it.

Calmly, she turned to Cas first, greeting him and letting him know that he should leave. Cas didn’t look all too eager to leave, since he just got his brother back, but Gabe got his attention.

“Go home, dude. Take a shower, or a nap. Probably both, actually. I’ll still be here in a few hours.”

Cas relented, nodding and grabbing his jacket, promising to be back in the afternoon.

After the door closed, the nurse, who introduced herself as Megan, brought over the bed tray and poured some water in a plastic cup.

“So, how are you feeling, Gabriel?” She asked, sitting down in the chair that Cas no longer occupied.

“Just peachy. I mean, physically? I can’t feel a damn thing. I don’t know what kinda drugs you guys put me on, but let me tell you, they work.”

She raised an eyebrow, not amused by the joke.

“So, big change, though. I assume your…?” She hesitated, expecting Gabriel to finish the word for her.

“Brother.”

“Right. I assume your brother explained the situation to you?” 

“Yeah. At least we get the good parking spots now, right?”

Still ignoring his weak attempts at humor, she continued her questioning.

“So, you said the pain meds are working well?”

He nodded, trying not to look at the catheter in his hand. He never was a big fan of needles.

“Okay, I’m going to send in your doctor to speak with you in a few minutes.” Megan left, and Gabriel absently wondered how exactly they’d dealt with the whole bathroom situation while  
he was unconscious. He decided it was probably a better idea to just not ask, because his discomfort outweighed his curiosity.

He sat there alone for a few minutes, trying to take in the whole ordeal. He was still in denial of the part where he may or may not ever walk again. It was a lot to comprehend, all at once.

He studied the curtains, eyes tracing over the light blue embroidery, as they hung open to reveal a perfectly white January day. He could be mistaken, but he swore there were at least another four or five inches of snow on the ground since he’d last been outside.

-

“Good morning!” The doctor said, appearing to be in a better mood than his nurse was, at least. He had dark curly hair, and was probably in his mid forties.

“Morning.” He replied, not wanting to seem rude, but also not entirely sure he agreed with the use of the word “good.”

They went over all of the boring, technical details of his condition, and he heard some more information about the accident before they finally reached a topic he cared about.

“So, we’ll keep an eye on you for the rest of the day, and you’ll stay again tonight. We’ll have Megan come back and talk to you about some of the basics you’ll need to know, and if all goes well, you could be released as early as tomorrow afternoon. We’ll also try to schedule your first therapy session sometime tomorrow.”

He thought briefly about requesting a different nurse, but figured that she really couldn’t be _that_ bad.

-

After the doctor left, he noticed his phone sitting on the table next to him, undamaged, since he’d left his things in the trunk of his now ruined car. Hoping Cas had charged it, he grabbed the device, trying not to wince at his own reflection in the screen. He looked miserable, hair stringy and gross, and as pale as a sheet. Not to mention the beginnings of a beard, one that did not suit him at all.

It was just after nine in the morning, and when he turned on his cell, he had about thirty notifications.

After scrolling through at least a dozen Facebook messages about how he was “in our prayers” and people “would be thinking of him,” he couldn’t read any more.

He just changed his status to say that he was feeling “High as a kite,” and thanked everyone  
for their kind messages.

Checking his texts, he had only heard from his mother and father, and it appeared that Cas had been responding to both of them. Just one more thing he’d have to thank him for later.

He caught up on the latest current events and played every shitty game he could find in the appstore, before somebody finally came in with some good news-breakfast.

Hospital food had never been praised for its flavor, but it was damn hard to mess up eggs  
and fruit, thank god.

Bored out of his mind, Gabriel finally relented and turned on the TV in the corner of the room. The only real program on was a soap opera called ‘Doctor Sexy,’ but having had his share of hospitals, he changed to the local news.

Another blizzard was due to hit on Monday, and this was shaping up to be one of the  
snowiest winters in Minnesota history. Of course. The extra ice obviously wasn’t making roads safer, either.

He wondered absently about what had happened to the other driver, and if they were okay. That, and how their insurance would cover this incident.

-

Cas came back, true to his word, at two o’clock, just as Gabe was enjoying a delightful bowl full of orange Jell-o.

“How did you not go stir crazy in here for nine days? It’s been five hours and I’m already starting to lose it. This is like solitary confinement.” Gabe said sullenly.

Cas laughed, looking a lot better than he had that morning. He had shaved, put on clean clothes, and looked well rested again.

Gabriel, on the other hand, still looked like he’d just gotten hit by a truck. Ha ha.

Afraid to check his work email for the time being, he distracted himself by talking to Cas, not being particularly picky about subject matter.

“So, how ‘bout that weather?” He joked, noting that it had started snowing lightly over the past hour.

“We got about half a foot this week. I’m glad I have an apartment, otherwise the shoveling would’ve been terrible. It’s wet snow, too.”

“Shoveling’s a bitch,” he agreed, thinking about how crowded Cas’ apartment was gonna be if they both lived there. It wasn’t very large to begin with.

“You’re really okay with me moving in?” He asked, knowing that it was a pretty big change of topics.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. ‘Cause, I don’t want you to feel like you have to do everything for me and change stuff or anything.”

“Gabriel. You can’t walk. I’m your only brother. I’m completely okay with you moving in, just like you’re gonna be okay with the fact that I’m going to have to do some things for you.”

Gabe huffed, like it was below him to accept help from anyone. He was supposed to be the older brother. It wasn’t Cas’ job to take care of him.

“I hate that. I don’t want to be some damn _vegetable_ for the rest of my life.”

“You probably won’t be. For a while, sure, but they sounded pretty hopeful that if you woke up, you could recover. And I know you. You won’t give up easy.”

Gabriel just rolled his eyes, still pissed about the prospect of being dependent on others. He was thirty-one years old! Shouldn’t he be capable of living on his own?

The rest of the afternoon passed by, and he convinced Cas that he didn’t need to spend the  
night there again. He insisted that he go home, promising not to have any fun without him. 

“I’ll be fine, seriously. Just be careful. The roads are icy, and what would I do if _you_ got in an accident?”

Finally, Cas gave in, said his goodbyes and left. Even after nine days of unconsciousness, Gabriel felt absolutely drained. He was asleep not thirty minutes later.

-

The next day was positively chaotic. He woke up at eight, and by eight-thirty, Megan was lecturing him about the proper ways to maneuver his wheelchair. She explained, to the best of her ability, how he would be able to do simple tasks like showering and dressing himself without assistance. It was an uncomfortable conversation, to say the least. She also had to explain  
some lovely details regarding catheters, and other subjects he’d rather not have to explore.

At least after that he was finally able to take a shower, with the use of a chair. It wasn’t until he began undressing that he remembered there were other, smaller injuries from the crash. He was still hopped up on oxycodone, but there was no mistaking the purple bruising that covered half of his chest, or the lovely cut on his right side, which had required a considerable amount of stitches to secure.

He didn’t have a razor, so he asked Cas to bring one by, hoping he could shave _before_ leaving the hospital and having to see real people.

He was still making some pretty sorry attempts to adjust to the chair when his brother got there, bearing razors and shaving cream in one hand and licorice in the other.

“Oh my god, Cas. You are, without a doubt, the greatest brother ever. Period.” He grinned, shoving the candy into his mouth like he hadn’t eaten in years.

“Trust me, I know,” Cas said, putting the shaving supplies on the bathroom sink. “So, are you getting released today?” he asked, obviously trying to ignore the fact that Gabriel was currently attempting to do wheelies. Sometimes, Cas was probably just better off pretending not to have seen anything at all. 

“I think so, yeah. I still haven’t talked to the doc, and we gotta schedule some things, but it sounds like it.”

He rolled himself into the bathroom, thankful that the doorway was large enough to accommodate. 

-

Shaved, showered, and stuffing his face with licorice, Gabriel wheeled himself around the third floor (or rather, had Cas wheel him around), since he was going crazy from being in that room so long.

For a second, he had been embarrassed about the chair, but then he realized that literally all of the other patients on this floor would be in chairs of their own. It also occurred to him, if he was going to be in this thing for an undetermined amount of time anyway, he would have to get used to it eventually.

-

Back in the room a half an hour later, he and Doctor Whatshisname were setting up an appointment for physical therapy Thursday, weather providing. 

After signing about thirty release forms and discussing payment briefly, he was free to leave, with a prescription for more drugs as soon as he needed them.

Changing into the clothes Cas had brought for him was a rather difficult and time consuming activity, but he figured that it was just a blessing he didn’t need help.

When Gabriel finally made it out the doors, it was colder outside than he’d expected. It wasn’t easy trying to get into the car, but eventually they managed. The drive to Cas apartment was uneventful and slow, but that just gave him more time to dwell on things.

Getting _out_ of the car was a little easier, at least, and after an excruciatingly slow elevator ride to the fifth floor, Cas led him to the apartment where he would be living for the foreseeable future. The entire floor smelled like sawdust, but the building itself seemed nice enough. After the ordeal it had been just to get here, however, Gabe was more grateful than ever that he worked from home. He wasn’t planning on leaving again until Thursday, and Cas would just have to move his stuff alone. He couldn’t do it himself. After all, he was crippled.

x x x

Sam stared at his brother, almost squinting in the low bar light, as he set his beer back on the counter, his fingers playing mindlessly with the label as he spoke.

“I’m really sorry to hear about you and Lisa, man. I bet Ben’s pretty broken up about it, huh?”

Dean nodded solemnly, tipping back his own bottle.

“It was time, though. Past time, actually. Things just weren’t working out between us.” 

Dean knew, as well as Lisa did, that the only reason he’d stayed so long was because he was kind of attached to her kid. If it weren’t for Ben, he would’ve ended things a long time ago. He hated to drag out a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere.

“What about you? Anyone new in your life?” Dean asked, deflecting the attention away from himself.

“No, not really. Not that anyone’s showing any particular interest in me, either,” Sam said with a shrug. 

Sam had lost his leg almost twenty years ago, when he was eight. People tried to be polite, but he knew the prosthetic could be a little off-putting for some guys, so he just didn’t do a lot in the way of dating.

“Do you _want_ to be seeing anyone?” Dean didn’t sound pleased with Sam’s previous answer. He never was.

“I don’t know. Maybe? It’s been a damn long time, I’ll tell you that.” Sam laughed, trying to remember how long it had been since he broke up with his last boyfriend, Luce. At least a couple of years, now.

“Yeah, I know. I’m kinda concerned, to be honest.”

Sam scoffed. He was perfectly capable of being on his own.

“I just haven’t found anybody I’m interested in. If I do, I promise I’ll tell you first.”

“You’re damn right you will.” Dean knew better than anyone that Sam was terrible at flirting, and after being out of the dating scene for so long, he’d probably need even more help than usual getting somebody’s attention. 

“Why does it matter to you anyway?” Sam asked, taking another sip. Dean had always had the very annoying habit of getting too involved in his love life, but he still wasn’t entirely sure why it was so important to him.

“Because, you’re less bitchy when you’re in a relationship.”

Sam rolled his eyes, wishing that maybe, just once, Dean would give him a legitimate answer. Today, however, it didn’t sound like he was going to be so lucky. 

“Do you really think it’s the leg thing?” Dean asked after the silence had gone on too long. “I mean, are people actually that shallow?”

Sam thought about that question a lot. It’s not like he could just outright ask people, but he still had to wonder.

“I don’t know. Sometimes I think it’s just sort of fear of the unknown. I’m different, and I think sometimes it makes people uncomfortable.”

When he said “I’m different,” he meant in other people’s view. He’d never really seen it as being that big of a deal, honestly. After a month or so, he kind of forgot how his body had been before the accident. It was just a part of who he was. Others, however, who had four fully functioning limbs of their own, seemed to be less comfortable with it.

Sam had had a grand total of three boyfriends over the last fourteen years, and only one that he was very serious about. The first two were fellow amputees he’d met through different programs they were in, and the third, Luce, he’d met online when he was twenty two.

“Have you even been looking?” Dean was pretty sure after the last time, Sam wasn’t all too keen to go back to online dating, but that didn’t mean there weren’t other ways you could  
meet people. He shouldn’t shoot down any possibilities, right?

“No. If someone shows up, then that’s fantastic. If not? I’ll be fine on my own.”

Dean frowned, not sure that Sam was really all that pleased with being single. He’d always been so much happier when he was seeing someone.

“So, anything interesting happen at work lately?” Dean changed the subject, deciding that Sam’s love life was his own problem. If he wanted to be lonely, so be it.

“Um, not really, I don’t think. Got a call this morning, though. Sounds like I’m getting a new long-term patient on Thursday. Like, _long_ term.”

“That sounds serious. What happened?” Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Car accident. Spinal cord damage, paralysis, the whole nine. Sounded kinda brutal.”

“Eesh. So how long is ‘Long term,’ then?”

“Well, it depends. Apparently, the doctor’s pretty confident this guy’s gonna recover from the paralysis, so, I’m not really sure,” he answered. “How about you? What’s new in the always exciting world of electrical engineering?” 

“What _isn’t_ new?” He waved at the bartender for another drink. “We’re getting an office set of 3D printers next week.” Dean sounded very excited about the things, even though Sam knew for a fact that the first thing he was going to make when he got his printer was some kind of toy.

“What are you getting those for?” he asked, wondering if there was any work that they’d be required for, or if the branch had just had a surplus to spend last year.

“I don’t know yet. Management said that they would come in handy for some important thing we’ll be working on, but they said we’d find out about it later. A little ominous, if you ask me.”

Somehow, nothing about this job ever seemed to bore Dean. While Sam himself would’ve fallen asleep halfway through the first class, somehow Dean had managed to work his way through six years of them. It sounded like torture.

“Well, just don’t do anything stupid with it. I’m pretty sure if they catch you making plastic dicks on the job, you’ll get fired. Or, at the very least, have some trouble with HR.”

“Ha ha, very funny. Y’know, that’s pretty rich, coming from the gay brother.” Dean quipped, seeming rather pleased with his comeback.

“Fair enough. But I think we both know you’d still do it, if you thought that you could get away with it.”

Dean considered arguing, but to be honest, Sam was probably right. At thirty, the chances of Dean Winchester ever developing into a mature adult were dwindling constantly. His friends had lost hope.

Another beer was set in front of him, and he knew this would be the last one for the night. He had to drive home, and the roads were already pretty unsafe.

“So, blizzard Monday, huh?” Sam asked, finishing off his own drink.

“Are you surprised? I think I’ve counted a grand total of two days this month that it _hasn’t_ snowed.”

“True, but still. Did you hear that at least half the schools in the state have already cancelled spring break? Too many snow days.”

“Yeah, Ben’s is one of them.”

Talk wound down while Dean finished his beer, and they went their separate ways for the night.

“Drive safe, Sammy.”

“You too. Text me when you get home.”

Sam’s apartment was only a couple of miles away, but Dean had almost a half hour drive ahead of him, and it was not only icy now, but pitch dark.

-

If he expected him to accept the offer, Sam would’ve just told him to spend the night. But he couldn’t see Dean taking him up on that, not even if the sky was actually falling down. 

It was the dog. Sam couldn’t see anything wrong with her. He’d convinced the landlord to let him keep her, claiming she was a ‘therapy dog,’ which was sort of true, but not really. Lyla was _supposed_ to be a service dog, but she got fleas the week before the test, and, well, here she was.

Dean had always hated dogs, though. Sam couldn’t for the life of him think of a reason why, but it was true. Dean was heartless and he didn’t like dogs. He still came over, but he never stayed too long.

-

Sam was greeted by a faceful of German Shepherd drool almost as soon as he opened the door. Nothing in the world worked quite like dog slobber to welcome you in from the cold.

“Hey, sweetie,” he cooed, hanging up his down jacket next to the door.

The apartment wasn’t huge, but it was roomy and open. It had a pretty nice view of the city, too, although at the moment the entire scene was just white.

He slumped down onto the worn leather couch, Lyla jumping up next to him.

“I’m not lonely, am I girl? What does Dean know? I’ve got all the company I need, right here.”  
He laughed, realizing how pathetic that sounded, directed at his dog. 

He tried to remember exactly when Luce had left, counting back the birthdays since on his fingers.

Was that right? Had it really been _four years_ since he and Luce broke up? That couldn’t be right, could it?

-

Sam had met Luce on one of those ridiculous dating websites you always hear about, where you answer some sort of basic, surface-deep questions about yourself, and they try to match you up with other people in your area who also “enjoyed the movie Forest Gump.” Except this one was only LGBT+, and his friend Charlie had recommended it, so Sam gave it a chance, and within the first week, he’d set up a date with Luce.

They’d gotten along so well at first. They were almost freakishly similar, and he didn’t seem to care too much about the leg thing at all. It was a pleasant change from the usual “Oh my god what happened? Is that weird? Does it hurt?”

What those people always failed to realize was that being disabled was only weird because they made it weird.

But Luce didn’t even ask. They just talked about their families, and where they’d gone to school, and the rest was history.

They actually dated for almost two years, making it the longest relationship of Sam’s life, as of yet.

Things started to fall apart after some huge fight broke out between Luce and his older brother Michael, and he decided that he was going to leave town. It had ended _really_ badly. 

He begged Sam to come with him, promised that they could start over together, make it work, but Sam refused. A few years later, he was glad he did, when he found out that Luce wound up in jail for fraud of something or other, somewhere near the New Mexico border. That had been an interesting story to come across.

After they broke up, Sam just hadn’t been looking for anyone. He figured after a while he’d get back out, there, find a nice guy, and that’d be that. It just hadn’t exactly happened yet.

It wasn’t like he was in a huge rush to get hitched and settle down, but it would be kind of nice to have someone to go to museums with, or watch movies with. Someone to play Rock  
Paper Scissors against when they had to figure out whose turn it was to do the laundry.

It was all the little things he missed about dating. Like waking up early and cooking breakfast together, or sharing clothes, or having someone in the passenger seat when he took Lyla on car rides. (And, y’know, sex, but he could live without that. He wasn’t Dean, after all.)

Still, the bar scene had never been his thing, and there weren’t exactly an abundance of ways to meet gay singles in his area. Any that there were, he had probably tried back in college. Unfortunately, when you’re twenty-one years old, you find more guys that want to “experiment” with a man than actually go out with one.

He tried to think if there was anyone he knew, anyone at all, that he would consider dating, but nobody really came to mind. You couldn’t honestly expect to meet Mr. Right by sitting at home all the time or getting the occasional drink with your older brother.

He even stopped going to his old gym when he realized that the apartments had a free workout facility for residents, and that nobody else in the building actually used it.

Sam Winchester was no one’s definition of a social butterfly, not by any stretch of the term. He didn’t even know where to go to try and meet people when you were twenty seven years old. When he said it out loud, it didn’t really seem that old, but in his head, he may as well have just retired then and there.

While he may not have been that old, he certainly wasn’t getting any younger, either. Maybe Dean was actually right about something. Maybe it was time to put himself out there again, and at least keep an eye open for new people, if nothing else. At the very least, it wouldn’t hurt to make a few more friends, and maybe leave home a little bit more.

It was pretty boring every year when summer rolled around and he had approximately two single friends to go do things with.

_That could be my new year’s resolution, then_ he thought. It was only January, after all.

He could work on his social life this year. Go to concerts, go to the beach (if it ever stopped snowing.) He was sure that he could meet someone in eleven months. Positive.

Yawning, he got up and trudged to his bedroom, Lyla trailing behind him. He changed into sweats and removed his leg, climbing to bed. He noticed offhandedly while he turned off the lamp that his bed was big enough for two. It wasn’t really an important fact, but he kept it in mind nonetheless.

“New year, new me.” He said to himself, repeating the mantra a few more times before falling asleep, under an abundance of blankets.

_New year, new me._


	2. Chapter 2

Cas’ apartment was far from roomy, but he’d managed to arrange the furniture so that Gabriel’s chair could still move around in it. Some areas where narrower than others, but with a little effort, it was doable.

The burgundy carpeting stood in stark contrast to the almost paper white walls, and the whole place just screamed temporary. This wasn’t the kind of place you spent the rest of your life. It was more like a stepping stone home that you lived in on the way to getting there. It was the place you _stayed_ while you worked for the place where you would _live._

The building contract prohibited painting or permanent alterations of any kind, which meant that ugly command hooks made an appearance on nearly every wall, and they just seemed to add to the atmosphere of “rental.”

Still, there were some upsides to the place, he supposed. For instance, the entire condo smelled like pine trees, and the balcony provided a rather nice perspective of lake Harriet. Also, it had an excellent wifi connection, which was pretty much a necessity when you designed websites for a living. 

It took no time at all after accident for Gabe to get back to work, glad that he had chosen a rather sedentary career path. He had clients lining up by the dozens, hiring him to design the perfect site for “Mary’s Pup-cakes: a bakery for dogs” or “Al’s Barbershop, guys only.” Some of the people he worked for honestly had the worst business ideas, and sometimes he wondered how many of them were still open. Gabe remembered one woman that had named her store “Barbara’s Bras.” And her name was Louise.

-

He settled in rather quickly at Cas’ place. His brother brought over Gabriel’s clothes from his old apartment, and they’d rented a storage unit for the rest of his stuff so that nobody had to pay the rent for a residence no one was occupying anyway. After that, it was like he’d been living here all along.

Gabriel slept on a futon in the living room, discovering that it was actually easier to get in and out of than a full bed would have been. They bought a shower chair and some other stuff, and while it was incredibly cramped, things seemed to work out okay.

He just had to keep reminding himself that this wasn’t permanent. He would recover, and eventually he’d be able to walk, and he’d move into a place of his own again. He figured if he thought about it enough, then it would have to come true. The doctor’s hadn’t known if he would even wake up from the coma or not, so he already had a history of exceeding expectations. He would get better. He could do this.

-

Cas worked from eleven to six every day during the week, at a bookstore down the block. He was still waiting for this writing thing he’d been working on to take off. That meant that Gabe on his own for most of the day. He took up a few new hobbies to occupy some of his spare time, lest he die of insanity before his thirty-second birthday.

The first had been social media, but it took a little less than an hour to decide that the people he knew were too annoying for that to work out.

After that, he found some string and chopsticks, and with the aid of YouTube, taught himself how to knit. Cas made fun of him for it at first, but eventually relented, even going to Joann’s to buy Gabriel some actual yarn and needles to work with.

-

On Thursday, Cas had to take a late lunch to bring Gabriel to his therapy session, dropping him off early to fill out any paperwork they needed done. The clinic was only a few miles from the apartment, and had received a fairly high rating from previous patients.

The lobby was fairly small, and the reception desk was made especially low so that people in positions like his could still see over it.

He checked in, and was handed a clipboard full of information he needed to provide.

“Gabriel Novak?” The woman at the front desk called out, and she somehow managed to butcher his last name, a feat he hadn’t even known was possible until just then. _Noo-veck? Really?_

“Sam is ready to see you now.”

A brunette guy, about Gabriel’s age, and pretty damn attractive, opened the door separating the lobby and the offices, and led him back to his room. He was probably a good half a foot taller than Gabe was, even _before_ Gabe wound up chairbound.

“Hi, my name’s Sam. It’s nice to meet you,” he finally said, closing the door behind them and extending his hand for Gabriel to shake.

The office was full of different exercise balls, bands, weights, and about forty other things, with purposes he couldn’t even guess. 

“Gabriel. Nice to meet you too,” he said, trying not to be surprised by how big the guy’s hands were.

Sam smiled, and okay, this guy had dimples the size of the Grand-freaking-Canyon. That just wasn’t fair. Dimples were one of his greatest weaknesses. Dimples, and chocolate.

“Any concerns, questions, or anything else you want to tell me before we get started?”

“I can’t really think of any right now,” he replied, knowing that there were probably a dozen things he _should_ be asking, but couldn’t think of, at the moment. They seemed to have escaped him.

“Okay. So, first, I just have a few questions of my own, then, if that’s okay?”

Gabe nodded, folding his hands and trying not to be awkward, while maintaining eye contact.

“Since the accident, have you been able to feel your legs at all?”

“No, but I can’t really say for sure if that’s such a bad thing. It’s pretty damn cold out, and I’m certainly not missing _that._ ”

“Yeah, I bet. This winter’s been a bitch. Okay then, next question. Are you in any pain? And I assume you’re starting to downsize med doses now.”

“No to the pain, yes to the smaller doses. It really is a shame, though. They’ve been making my life a lot more interesting.”

“Oh, yeah, they’ll do that. It’s a complete nightmare when you get a kid with an injury bad enough to need oxycodone. Kids say weird enough stuff _without_ drugs running through their blood.”

“God, I’ll bet. I remember one of my classmates giving my little brother Cas beer when he was...ten? I sincerely wish I’d recorded it. Come to think of it, I don’t know how a fourteen year old managed to get alcohol, either.”

“No, no, they do. I remember high school. I was never the party type, but there was a lot worse going around than liquor at those things. Anyways, where was I… Any other illnesses, injuries, or things of that nature that I need to be careful of?”

“Well, my chest got a bit banged up in the crash, but I’m pretty sure it’ll be okay.”

“Alright, well, just let me know if it hurts, or you need to take a break or whatever, yeah?”

“Will do. And I thought of a question, if that’s okay.” Gabriel figured that it was, but he didn’t want to interrupt.

“Go for it.”

“What, uh, exactly are we doing in these sessions? I mean, if I can’t really move my legs anyway, what are we here for?”

“Well, today, I was planning on mostly just going over basics. It’s been a while since I used one of these things, but I remember how hard it is to do some stuff. I’m sure someone already talked you through showering and stuff, but there are definitely more tips I can give you from experience.”

 _Experience?_

“Why were you were in a chair? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

“Long story, but I actually had an amputation when I was eight, and I just used a chair for a bit while I was still adjusting to the prosthetic.”

“Oh. Makes sense.”

He didn’t push the topic further. He was sure Sam was probably tired of having to explain the situation to everyone he met.

“Okay, so we can get started then, I guess. First things first—this is going to be a great time to build up your arm strength. I mean, seriously, it makes everything a hell of a lot easier.”

“Yeah, I noticed that. Kinda regretting not going to the gym more.”

“Well, you’ll be benching twice as much after a month in a wheelchair. Honestly, when you’re at home, you may look like an idiot, but half the time it’s easier to just crawl around. Not kidding. And if you have stairs, you’ll kind of have to if you want to get up or down on your own.” Sam was smiling sympathetically, probably remembering having to do all of those things himself.

“I don’t have stairs, but I can see that being useful in narrow hallways, too.”

“Definitely. I mean, aside from having somebody carry you around, crawling can be the next best thing, if your chair can’t fit somewhere. You might as well forget any dignity you have, if you want to get around quickly.”

Gabe laughed, even though he really couldn’t find a word there that wasn’t painfully true.

“Okay, so crawling, got it. What else? My nurse was pretty brief with the explanations.”

“Um, okay, how about… all right, you know how when you’re dressing yourself, you get all the way to socks and then it’s just kind of like, ‘Nooope. Not today.’?”

Gabe smiled, thinking about how he’d yelled at Cas all morning until he finally did it for him.

“Yeah, you could say that, I suppose.”

“Well, did you know they make sock aids that basically hold it open for you to put your foot into? Sounds like the worst invention ever, until you need it. Trust me, they work, and it’s worth a few bucks. You really can’t go without socks this time of year.”

“Right. Anything else?”

“Yeah, probably the most important thing, actually—since you’re gonna lose a lot of strength by not moving your legs, you want to make sure to eat as many muscle-retaining foods as you can. Like tea and multivitamins and stuff.”

He hadn’t even really thought about that one. Sam was right though, muscle can go away pretty damn fast if you don’t use it enough. 

“So keep those things in mind, and if I think of anything else, I’ll let you know.”

-

The rest of the session was spent mostly just going through some different upper body exercises that could be done from the chair, as well as Sam showing him a few other things meant to make maneuvering it a little easier.

When he asked him if it was possible to do a wheelie in one, Sam actually laughed, promising to show him next time.

“Yeah, when I was a kid, not me, but my brother Dean, figured that one out. I wasn’t using my chair, and so he was doing circles or whatever in it, and he decided to try it. I think he probably sprained just about everything from falling so many times, but eventually he got the hang of it.”

-

Cas picked him up two hours after he’d been dropped off, and since Sam had a gap between patients, he helped with the process of getting back into the car, which made things go a lot faster.

“So, how was therapy?” Cas asked, cranking up the heat as far as he could.

“Pretty good. Sam seems cool.” He said it casually, but in his head, he couldn’t help picturing his smile, and his eyes, and those goddamn dimples.

“You like him,” Cas said, like he was stating a fact.

“What? I just said he seemed cool.”

“Gabriel, that’s exactly what you said about Kali. Remember that? And you two went out for, like, three years.”

“Kali _was_ cool. And besides, I barely even know Sam. Sure, he’s cute, but anyone with eyes could figure that much out.”

“Whatever you say.” Cas sounded like his mind was already made up about it, however.

“Y’know Cas, for someone who’s dated, like, twice, you seem pretty sure about this.”

“Don’t be an idiot. I’ve known you for twenty-eight years, I know you better than you know yourself.”

Gabriel hated to admit it, but that was probably (okay, entirely) true. And his brother had always been a much more observant person than he was.

“Whatever.”

-

Cas wasn’t completely wrong, but still, it wasn’t like he was going to admit that. He had no business just showing up and acting like he could see everything. The chances of _anything_ happening between him and Sam were pretty much slim to none.

But, Gabe had to admit, he did like Sam, from what he knew about him. 

He was twenty-seven, had one older brother, one and a half legs, and a nearly service dog named Lyla. Oh, and perfect hair. Couldn’t leave out that very important detail. He was pretty nice, and he had a decent sense of humor.

Still, was that really enough to base a crush off of? This wasn’t high school. He had no idea if Sam was even single. Or gay, for that matter. The chances that he was either of those, let alone both, were just about nonexistent.

Gabriel, on the other hand, was the self-proclaimed pansexual king, a title he found rather fitting after participating in his fair share of mixer threesomes. Of course, that was years ago, and probably not something worth mentioning again. He was older now, more mature, and could actually handle being in a legitimate relationship. The royalty status remained.

Maybe once he could walk again, he’d go out and meet someone. It would be kind of hard right now, he figured, given his current situation. Living with his brother probably wouldn’t help the case, either.

-

He’d gone on a few dates here and there over the past year, but he hadn’t been very serious about any of them. Usually he’d meet another guy or girl that he was attracted to at first, go out with them for one evening, and realize that there was some very good reason why they were thirty years old and still single. Sometimes he wondered what his own reason might be, before realizing that narrowing it down to one would probably take at least a week or two.

Even though he wasn’t actively looking for a relationship, he definitely wasn’t opposed to finding one. And actually, Cas could do to meet somebody too, although that one was a little harder.

-

Work was as slow as ever, but he was still making more than enough money, so Gabriel was enjoying more and more leisure time these days. His knitting hobby was getting out of hand, and he’d already found at least three yarn stores he needed to visit as soon as he could.

He’d tried to teach Cas, but unfortunately, his brother was about as good at knitting as he was at cooking. In other words, terrible.

Who knows? Maybe Sam had an interest in yarn arts. 

x x x

The whole “New year, new me” mantra was eagerly accepted by Sam’s friends, and Charlie had already decided to set him up on a blind date for that Saturday. She said that there was some gay guy she knew from work that was cute, and around his age.

He wasn’t sure that it was the best decision he’d ever made to say yes, but then again, he’d made himself a promise. At least they were going on a relatively normal date, just going out for dinner and getting to know each other.

But, of course, that was happening on Saturday. Until then, he still had to wake up early and go to work, trying to keep up the “new Sam” he’d invented. Being outgoing and talkative could be frankly exhausting, and he had no idea if he’d be able to keep up the act till the end of the month, let alone the year. He was a very isolated person.

-

On Thursday, at a little after lunch, he got to meet his new patient, Gabriel, the one with the partial SCI. He was in a wheelchair, but he looked out of place in it—young, healthy, and strong. Not the type of person he was used to seeing paralyzed. Then again, accidents didn’t seem to have preferences.

Gabriel was about his own age, with light blonde hair and honey-hazel eyes. He’d been friendly and sincere in his introductions, and right away, Sam already knew he was going to like working with this guy, and not _just_ because he was attractive.

Talking to Gabe had started to remind Sam what his whole resolution was all about - meeting cool new people, and being friendly enough to form relationships. They bounced around all afternoon from topic to topic, conversation never slowing or stumbling.

He learned that Gabriel was single, and currently living with his younger and only brother, Castiel, who was a year older than Sam. He liked somewhat obscure rock music, (Sam had to remember to google ‘The Wanton Bishops’ when he got home) and he did web design for a living, which he was more grateful for now than ever.

The session went by quickly, and before he knew it, Gabe was already leaving again. Sam was a little disappointed to see him go, even though he knew he’d have another appointment the very next week. It had been nice, to talk to someone for that long, and _not_ have it be forced, which was how he’d spent the majority of the week this far.

-

Saturday morning he woke up and went through the typical routine—laundry, groceries, and walking Lyla. The only difference was, instead of making dinner, come five, he was standing in front of the mirror trying to figure out where the line between casual and too casual was. He wanted to look nice, without being overdressed for the place they were going.

Finally, he decided, with the weather as unapologetic as it was, a black henley would be a lot more comfortable than a button down. He drove to the restaurant, grumbling when he couldn’t find anywhere close to park. Pulling his coat tight, he braced himself for the cold and stepped out.

He’d been to the restaurant before, but it usually wasn’t this busy, so it took him a minute to find the guy, Richard, who was sitting in a booth on the far side from the door. He only knew it was him because Charlie had sent him a picture before setting up the date.

“Hi, I’m Sam. It’s nice to meet you, Richard,” he said, sliding onto the bench across from him, face still red from the bitterness of January.

“Nice to meet you, too. And call me Dick.”

“Okay. Well, um, how are you, Dick?” He had to admit, Richard sounded a lot better. But to each his own, Sam supposed.

“I’m doing pretty well, how about you?”

“I’m alright.” He answered, trying not to complain about the snow to someone he’d met thirty seconds ago. It was hard, though, when that seemed like there was more of it every time he went outside.

Richard—well, Dick—wasn’t altogether unattractive. He had dark hair, and almost unsettlingly straight teeth that toed the line between charming and creepy. He had a very professional air, however, with a straight back and neat clothes. He didn’t seem like the laid-back type, which Sam definitely was.

“So, tell me about yourself, Sam,” he asked, folding his hands like he was studying Sam, rather than getting to know him.

“What would you like to know?” he asked. 

Sam had always hated those kinds of questions, because they were too open ended, and he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to seem closed off, but it was never good to over share, either.

“All right, let’s see… okay, how do you know Charlie?”

Well, at least he knew the answer to that one without too much deep thought.

“I met her through my brother. They were at some bar and got into a heated debate about if Star Trek was better than Star Wars. I don’t think anyone won the argument because they were both tipping over drunk and couldn’t form a cohesive thought. But, long story short, they became friends, and I was introduced after that.”

“And I guess you already know that Charlie and I work together, so that’s not important.  
You said you had a brother? Is it just the one, or do you have a big family?”

“Just Dean. He’s three years older than me, and he’s an electrical engineer. How about you?”

“Only child, actually. Lots of cousins, though, on both sides, and we were all the same ages. Family reunions were crazy.”

“Sounds like fun. I never went to any, but I can imagine the chaos. They always sounded cool. Barbeques and volleyball and all that.” Sam had often wondered as a kid what a family reunion would’ve been like.

“Definitely. Minus the volleyball part, that is. I was never exactly huge on athletics as a kid. Did you play any sports?”

“No, I wasn’t really able to. I run now, though, and some other things. Part of the job.” Sam laughed, wondering if there were even names for some of the weird-ass exercises he’d done at work before. There were some bizarre ones for sure.

“I can understand that. I was about the most uncoordinated kid in my entire school. I know that being unathletic is sort of a gay stereotype, but what can I say?” He shrugged, and even that action seemed tense and formal.

“It wasn’t really inability, in my case. Well, it was, but not like that.” Sam answered truthfully, remembering how much he’d wanted to play soccer when he was younger, and then finding out he couldn’t.

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, I lost my leg when I was eight. Makes athletics a little complicated, I guess.”

“You did? How much?” Dick asked suddenly, pretending to make it sound conversational, but the entire restaurant could probably see through his thin attempt at hiding discomfort.

“Just above the knee.” Sam answered, doing his best to be polite. “New year, new Sam” apparently didn’t apply to how others would treat him. Not entirely surprising, but it would’ve been nice, for a while, to not have to feel like a freak just because one of his legs was made of metal instead of bone. Big deal.

“How did that happen?” Dick asked, gathering himself a little and trying to regain his manners. He was almost successful. Almost.

“I’d rather not talk about it, actually. Not really a ‘first date’ conversation. But no, I wasn’t in any sports as a kid,” he said in an attempt to steer the conversation to a different topic.

-

As the evening progressed, Sam quickly decided that this was the worst date of his life. In fact, it was probably one of the worst dates anyone had ever been on, and that included the time Dean had taken his deaf girlfriend to a concert because he didn’t want to go alone.

Sam bit his tongue and remained civil throughout the evening, but Dick made no such promise. He was certainly starting to live up to his name, and Sam was realizing by the minute just exactly why this guy was still available.

They ate their dinner, each paying their own halves of the check before leaving. Neither tried to exchange numbers or set up another date. There was no point, considering where things were already going. Sam could picture him screaming if he ever actually saw the prosthetic, let alone the leg without it. 

-

“How’d the night go? What was the name of that guy Charlie set you up with? Richard?” Dean asked when he picked up the phone, voice hopeful and teasing at the same time.

“Uh, his name is Dick, and to be honest, it kinda fit him.” Sam scratched behind Lyla’s ear, lounging on the couch.

“What happened? Bad breath? BO?” Dean laughed, trying to keep his guesses PG.

“Um, no. He was clean and… pleasant smelling. He was just an asshole.”

“Yikes. What’d the poor guy do?” Dean sounded like he was in the mood to hear a good and proper Sam Winchester rant, which is good, because that’s exactly what he had in store.

“Well, the dinner was going all right at first. Not extraordinary, but all right. We talked about work and family and blah blah blah. And then my leg came up. I guess Charlie never mentioned it to him. He looked like he wanted to throw up at the very prospect. Acted like it was the most abhorrent thing he’d ever heard. He might not have said that out loud, but it was written all over him. 

“So then, after that, he asked how it happened, and I just told him that I’d rather not talk about it, he acted offended, as though he had every right to know every detail of my life. Even if we both knew he would react like a jackass to whatever I told him.

“A little later into the meal, after I’d forced us onto a different topic, he told me that it was ‘remarkable how normal I seemed,’ and how ‘when I walked in, he couldn’t tell at all.’ It’s the twenty first century, and I actually heard these words from a real live human being. He talked about me like I was some alien or something. I mean, especially coming from a gay guy, you’d think he would recognize how stupid those sorts of statements sound to the receiver.

“So yeah, no boyfriend yet. Sorry to let you down.”

“Damn,” Dean said. “Well, that sounds just delightful, doesn’t it? Sorry it didn’t work out, Sammy. I’m sure you’ll find someone else. He’s probably waiting just around the corner. To be fair though, it’s probably for the best. Having you date a guy named Dick probably would’ve turned out badly.”

“Yeah, that too. I was under the impression that he went by Richard, but no, Dick, which turned out to be a lot more fitting . Let’s face it, all the good guys are taken. Or straight.”

“That can’t be true. This one just happened to suck.”

“Yeah, no kidding. I need to stop getting dating help from Charlie.”

“I think that’s a good idea. Oh, by the way, how was the new patient yesterday? The car accident guy.”

“Gabriel? He was pretty cool. A lot nicer than Dick, I’ll tell you that.”

“And what was he like? Was he… attractive?”

Sam decided there really wasn’t any point in pretending he hadn’t thought about it. I mean, who wouldn’t? How often does a cute, funny, nice guy like that just _literally_ roll into your life?

“Yeah, I suppose. He had really nice eyes.” Sam smiled when he pictured them, glad that Dean couldn’t see the dopey look on his face since they were on the phone. Dean would’ve punched him.

“So what about him, then?”

“What about him?” Sam asked, despite knowing exactly where his brother was going with this.

“Well, is he single? Sounds like you’re definitely interested. Maybe he is, too.”

“Single? Yes. Gay? Doubt it. If he is though, you’re right, I’m probably gonna be all over that. I’d have to read over company policies to make sure I don’t get fired.”

Dean laughed, even though he’d once lost a job in a similar situation. Of course, he was seventeen, and he worked at a clothing store, but still.

“Then I wish you the best of luck in your pursuits, and I’ll keep my fingers crossed that he likes guys at least half as much as you do.”

“Why thank you, Dean. Really, your support means the world to me,” Sam said in mock sincerity, and if this had been a face to face conversation, he would’ve clutched his heart dramatically.

“Yeah, what can I say? They just don’t make ‘em like me anymore.”

If it were possible to hear eyes rolling over the phone, then Dean just had.

“Okay, guess I gotta go. Lyla’s bugging me. Goodnight!”

“Goodnight!”

Hanging up the phone, Sam grabbed his coat and hat, along with her leash.

-

After the walk, he just went into his room and layed on his back, trying to figure out where this whole change in sociability was taking him, because so far, all he’d gotten was a shitty date, and a couple of smiles at the grocery store. Nothing really worth working for.

He couldn’t exactly say that hitting it off with Gabriel was to the credit of ‘New Sam’ because even if he were being as introverted as he possibly could, he still probably would’ve enjoyed Gabe just as much. He was such a change from the ordinary, and it was rare that Sam found himself this attracted to someone he barely even knew.

Maybe, just maybe, there was a snowball’s chance that Gabriel could be interested back. It wasn’t likely, but it would be a very welcomed surprise.

 _Thursday_ he thought, figuring that he only had five more days until he saw Gabe again. Maybe he’d find a way to casually slip in sexuality then. It sounded ridiculous, but so did harboring a crush on a patient, who he was going to have for a while, without even trying to do anything about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Commenting is always a good idea


	3. Chapter 3

After another invigorating week of website designing, Gabriel found himself on his way to physical therapy again. Maybe he was a little too eager to see Sam, even if the other man wasn’t interested back. It was still going to be Gabe’s first real human interaction in days, save for Cas.

This time he still had no new progress to report, although Sam’s tips and advice had been particularly helpful over the past few days. Cas still seemed to have no doubt that he would regain abilities eventually, whether that meant weeks, months, or years. He wasn’t honestly sure if that was encouraging or not, but had decided to take it as such.

“Hey Gabriel! How’s it going? Anything new?” Sam asked as he wheeled Gabriel back into the office. If Gabe didn’t think that it was just the almost-weekend energy going around, he could’ve sworn Sam looked happy to see him. 

“Pretty good. No news, though. How are you?” Gabriel responded conversationally.

“I’m doing fine. Anything happen that’s _not_ related to your legs?” Sam asked, like he was interested in Gabriel as a person, not a patient. That was more than Gabe could say for a lot of the people he’d worked with in his life, but it was a welcomed curiosity.

“Well, let’s see. There was another blizzard, and I was informed this morning that it is ‘National Soup Month.’ I guess that’s a thing.” Even as the words came out of his mouth, he had no idea why he’d just said that, except for the fact Cas had randomly told him at breakfast, and he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about it. The worst part is, Gabe didn’t even care for soup. Now Sam probably thought he was weird.

“That’s cool.” Sam said, looking a little confused, but not too offput by the comment.

“How about you? Considering I barely leave home right now, I need somebody to live vicariously through, and Cas is too boring for the job.” He hoped it sounded like a joke, and not a really strange or personal question. It was possible that Gabriel had a problem with getting paranoid around attractive people.

“I’m sorry to let you down, then, but save for a spectacularly disappointing dinner and walking my dog, I’ve hardly gone out either,” Sam informed him with a sigh, as if reflecting on how boring his past week had really been.

“Well, if you don’t mind my asking, what was so ‘spectacularly disappointing’ about this dinner?” Gabe asked, even though he had no idea what he was hoping to learn from this. Hearing Sam complain about food had nothing to do with anything, and he really had no reason to care.

“It was supposed to be a date, but it was… less than romantic, I guess you could say.”

Or maybe it did matter. Because a date meant that Sam was probably single, and that actually _was_ important to Gabriel.

“That’s too bad. But hey, at least she showed up, right? Could be worse.” Gabe thought back on one night from when he was in college that he’d essentially been stood up. It hadn’t really been quite like that, since she’d honestly been unable to come, but it had been awkward all the same. She didn’t let him know that she had taken her roommate to the ER until he’d already been sitting in the restaurant by himself for half an hour.

“Uh, _he,_ actually. And no, I think it probably would’ve been better if I’d been alone.”

 _Did that mean Sam was gay? Well, not straight, anyways._ It was like there were bells going off in his head, and it was taking everything Gabriel had to keep his cool. It still didn’t mean he was interested, after all. But this was huge. Sam was not only single, but _gay._ And Gabe could’ve just about cried.

“Ouch. I guess not every guy can be as charming and polite as I am, huh?” Gabe was hoping to go for cheeky, but not creepy, and he was definitely flirting. No question.

“I guess they can’t,” Sam agreed, probably trying to figure out what Gabriel had meant by the statement.

“Always have some downfall. Like being racist, or a criminal, or straight, don’t they?” he asked, trying desperately to get the point across that _hello??? This lovely guy sitting right here is both single and interested._ Judging by the way Sam nearly choked on the water he was drinking, Gabe figured that he’d been successful in his goal.

“You’re gay?” Sam asked, trying to catch his breath again, after coughing the rest of the beverage out of his lungs.

“Pan, actually, but I haven’t had particularly good luck with _any_ gender, so far.”

Sam smiled, shaking his head a little.

“Really? ‘Cause it seems to me that you’re kind of a catch, to be honest.”

Now it was Gabriel’s turn to feel flustered, although he was a master at hiding it. That was a skill that Sam certainly didn’t possess, at least not yet. However, embarrassed Sam was very cute, so there was no problem there. Gabe composed himself and thought of a comeback.

“Do I now? Short, sarcastic, and currently immobile. I’m sure that’s what everybody’s looking for. And what about you? It seems to me like there ought to be a line out the door trying to get in your pants—or get you in theirs, I suppose.”

“You think? Becuse if that’s true, you might need to inform the rest of the population, get them caught up to speed. For some reason, people seem appalled by the fact that I only have one and a half legs. It freaks them out.” Sam sounded like he was trying to pass it off as a bad joke, but his face portrayed nothing but brutal honesty. It was heartbreaking.

Gabe stared at him in disbelief, trying to figure out how somebody could turn this guy down, especially for something as small and unimportant as a prosthetic leg. People were idiots.

“Their loss, then. I happen to think it’s pretty cool. And hey, at least you can still walk, right?”

Sam laughed, and Gabe could swear he was blushing.

“Alright, Gabe, I gotta be forward here, then. If you’re actually interested, say the word now. And if you’re not, I’d kind of like to know sooner than later.”

_Was he hearing these words right now? Was this real life? Or was he going to wake up in five minutes, still in the hospital, to find that this was all just a vividly wonderful dream?_

“Hell yeah. Are you kidding me? I’d have to be an idiot to pass up an offer like that.”

“Are you sure? Cause I don’t usually ask people out, but I guess I can give you my number. I mean, after we actually start working, which we should have been doing ten minutes ago.” Sam glanced nervously at the clock, realizing that he’d just wasted a fair amount of their session.

“Okay. I’d like that. Maybe, if I can manage to actually get myself together and leave the apartment, we could go have coffee somewhere.”

Gabe smiled, wondering how it was possible that now of all times, when he was crippled and homebound, he managed to score not only a date, but a date with a _really_ cute guy, no less. This was fantastic.

-

They finally got back on track, going through the exercises for the week and discussing more of the things he’d need to know. 

Every conversation was emphasized by giggling and blushing, as they shamelessly flirted their way through nearly two full hours. Gabe was sad to see the time go, but he remembered to have Sam write down his cell before leaving, giving his own in return so he wouldn’t have to send some ‘Hey, it’s me, here’s my number’ text later.

He was grinning from ear to ear by the time Cas caught sight of him, but his brother managed to keep his questions contained until Gabriel was in the car and Sam was out of earshot.

“So, what happened?” Cas asked, using the exact same tone that teenaged girls gossiped in.

“C’mon, Cassy, we’re adults. It’s not like we started making out or anything. I just got his number.” Gabriel couldn’t disguise the pride that edged into his voice.

Cas smirked, punching him on the shoulder and turning the corner.

“So. He’s gay, he’s single, he’s cute, and he’s into in you. Based on your previous endeavors, I’m surprised you _didn’t_ start making out with him as soon as he showed interest.” 

Cas sure was one smug little ass, but then again, he’d learned from the best.

“All in due time, my friend. If he can make it through a date with me, I’ll be sure to let him know that you’re okay with us making out. In fact, since you seem so eager for it to happen, maybe I’ll just invite him back to your place.” Gabe knew they were both being childish, but he couldn’t help it—Cas had asked for that one as soon as he made the comment about ‘endeavors.’

“First of all, it’s _our_ place, at the moment. Second, it will not _continue_ to be our place if you bring him back and scar me for life. And third, because you still need me to help get you everywhere, I think it would be in your best interests to stay on my good side,” Cas reminded him pointedly, pulling into the parking lot.

“Yeah, yeah, sure. But we both know that if I go to _his_ place, you’re just going to ask questions all night once I get back. At least if we do it here, you won’t have to wonder what happened.” He laughed at his own joke, waiting for Cas to bring his chair around to the passenger door.

“So, you have his number. Now what?” Cas asked as he helped Gabe into the chair, shutting the door behind him and heading up to their floor.

“Well, I was thinking, and this might be crazy, but—I’ll text him. Like normal people do.” Gabe acted like he was trying to explain the concept to a child, speaking very slowly to make sure Cas understood.

“I know that, don’t be a smartass. I meant, what are you going to say? Or do? Because if you make a date, that’s great and all, but you’ll probably have to get him to pick you up. I’m not a chauffeur.”

“Whatever you say, Jeeves.” Gabe quipped, suddenly trying to figure out what he was going to say, and how soon was too soon to say it. He hadn’t had to do this shit since high school, and to be honest, he hadn’t really missed it, either. It was uncomfortable and weird, and he always felt like he was doing something wrong.

Eventually, he decided that he could just let Sam text him first. He’d given him his number too, right?

Although, if it didn’t happen in the next couple of days, and it came down to him having to do it, he planned out how that would go too. Just in case.

He was hoping that ‘Hey Sam! How’s it going? Just checking in’ didn’t sound too stupid. If he actually did end up texting first, he’d probably ask Cas for advice, as ridiculous as that sounded. For some reason, Cas always had a way with words that Gabe didn’t really understand. 

-

As it turned out, Gabe didn’t have to do either of those things, because Sam texted him first.

It was only four words, but Gabriel felt both relieved and excited to see those words. The text came around lunch time the next day, while he was sitting at his computer, damn near bored out of his mind, with nothing substantial to fill his time.

**_Hey Gabe. What’s up?_ **

He waited a minute to respond, trying not to come off as desperate. It was pretty ironic, honestly.

_Hey Sam. Nothing much, how about you?_

He read over it again before sending it, making sure there weren’t any glaring spelling errors. It was probably the first time in his life he’d cared enough to do that.

**_Same here. I just started my break._ **

Sam came off as even-keeled and nonchalant, even over text. 

_Nice. I’m “working”_

Gabriel was, technically, getting paid for this, but really, all he was doing was changing the color scheme and some minor details on a site. Apparently there was copyright infringement on the shades of blue they used originally or some bullshit. The things people could sue over were astonishing. But seriously, he didn’t spend all that money on a college education for _this._

**_Fun. So, you still wanna go get that coffee sometime?_ **

Sam was very straight forward and to the point, something that Gabriel admired. He usually beat around the bush when he was trying to ask someone out, so he was glad that Sam had the guts to be upfront about it. And, hell yeah, who wouldn’t want that coffee?

_That would be great. The only problem is working out transportation. Otherwise, I’m free...well, just about always, I guess._

**_Awesome! I don’t really have anything going on this weekend, so if you want to pick a place, that’d be cool. It doesn’t have to be coffee, either._ **

_I’m happy with whatever you want to do, Sampson._

He was being honest. If Sam wanted to go on a date with him, they could go to a fricking opera for all he cared. He’d still go, and he’d still have a damn good time, because he was on a date with Sam. Yeah, sure, they’d met a week ago, but that didn’t have to mean anything. He knew enough.

**_Are you sure?_ **

_Positive. You can pick, just tell me a time and I’ll do it._

Sam sounded excited, and it was hard to tell what someone was feeling through a text, but he seriously did.

**_Okay. I have an idea then, but it’s a little bit more than coffee. Can I pick you up at, say, one tomorrow?_ **

_I’ll be ready!_

Gabe was grinning just thinking about it. Sam was clearly trying not to tell him anything, which meant that Sam wanted to surprise him with it, and that was kind of adorable.

He gave Sam his address so he’d know where to pick him up, and they set up their date.

Gabe had trouble getting back to his job after that, so he decided to just take a break and text Cas, completely forgetting to sound casual and calm about things.

_Guess who has a date tomorrow??_

He was probably being incredibly annoying, but as a brother, he figured that was basically his job. Cas was put into his life for this sole purpose.

**_Good for you. I’m working._ **

Cas’ reply would’ve seemed ticked off, if he didn’t know better. But, of course, Cas was secretly excited for him.

_I know. Just thought I’d let you know._

Cas sent back a smile emoji before returning to work, and Gabriel was satisfied with that answer.

Tomorrow seemed simultaneously very close, and yet very, very far away. He’d been a little out of the dating scene lately, and he was hoping that Sam could give him a bit of grace if he messed up a bit.

He looked at the clock as he opened his laptop back up. 

1:14.

 _Less than twenty four hours_ he thought, smiling as he opened up the site again, and groaning at how ugly the replacement colors they’d chosen looked with the layout. Some people had absolutely no sense of design.

-

Saturday, he was ready way before Sam ever came to pick him up. He was going to have Cas help him down to the ground level, but his brother was a little preoccupied, he eventually just asked Sam to come up and get him.

Sam was warm and strong, and as awkward as it might have been to need assistance leaving  
home and getting into cars, Gabriel was almost positive there was nobody he’d rather have  
helping him. He hadn’t even mentioned that he was cold, Sam just seemed to know, and gave  
up his jacket. This guy was unbelievable. 

-

Sam’s sedan was about six or seven years old, but it was nice, and almost pristinely clean.  
He would’ve worried, but Cas was the same way, so he was sort of used to being surrounded  
by neat freaks. 

The entire drive there, he’d been trying to think of where Sam could possibly be taking him,  
what places he knew that were handicap accessible, but the actual location didn’t even come into thought until he saw the building.

x x x

After the disaster that had been his date with Dick, Sam’s enthusiasm for making social efforts had dwindled. He knew it was kind of stupid to rule something out after going on one bad date, but still, he was exhausted, and it frankly wasn’t making him any happier.

He went back to work Monday, and made it through most of the week, still being pleasant, but not quite as chipper and perky as he’d been before. Thankfully, when Thursday rolled around, he knew he’d at least get to see Gabriel again. He still had no idea if he’d be able to drop in anything about sexuality, but maybe it would happen anyway. 

The only progressive thing that had really happened on that date was that now Sam realized just how much he’d wanted it to work out. He really _did_ want to find someone, it was just a lot easier said than done, and people could be real assholes sometimes. But now it was fairly obvious—he was looking for a relationship.

Still, even after a somewhat shitty week, there was a smile on his face as soon as he saw Gabriel. He had to maintain his composure when he saw that Gabe was just as happy to see him, too.

They made a little small talk, but things quickly spiralled, and before he knew what was happening, the conversation had taken on a course he could only have dreamed about.

Sam learned so much in such a short amount of time that it took him a minute to catch up. This was all very sudden, and a little too perfect.Not at all how things usually went for him. Gabriel was pan, single, and interested—and he didn’t seem even the tiniest bit squeamish about Sam’s leg. It was like a belated Christmas gift. Well, better than that, actually. 

-

They exchanged numbers, and it took just about all of Sam’s willpower not to text him almost the second he got off work that day. He did, however, have to call his brother, to let Dean know that maybe he’d end up in a relationship soon after all.

“Seriously?” Dean asked after Sam had told him the news. “Dude, that’s fantastic. Good for you.”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed, staring down at the scribbled phone number in his hand. “I still kind of can’t believe it.”

“So, what are you guys doing on your date?” 

Sam shifted the phone onto his shoulder.

“Well, we haven’t actually set one up yet, but I’m kinda hoping he’ll be free this weekend. The weather’s supposed to be nicer, so I sort of have something in mind, but nothing’s solid yet.”

“He’s in a wheelchair though? That makes things a little more complicated, doesn’t it?” Dean didn’t mean to come off as skeptical, so Sam let it go.

“Not really. I mean, so was I for a while. It didn’t make a huge difference then, and I don’t particularly see why it should now..”

“True enough. You really like him, don’t you?”

“Yeah” Sam said with a laugh. “I guess you could say that.”

“That’s good. It sounds like this one’ll be a lot better than that last guy.”

“Oh, yeah. I’d almost forgotten. Remind me to tell Charlie how _terrible_ she is at matchmaking, next time I see her.” Sam huffed out a laugh, though it was far more sarcastic than humorous.

“She seems to do all right for herself,” Dean pointed out, referring to the fact that she’d had the same girlfriend for almost five years. They’d all but tied the knot by now. Charlie didn’t do too poorly for _her own_ relationships, at least.

“Well, anyways, I didn’t really have anything else to call about, that was kind of it. Anything new in your life?” Sam kind of figured that not much had happened since they’d last spoken, but he might as well ask.

“No, not really. Just , y’know, printing dicks and stuff. Same old, same old.” 

“Sounds good. Don’t get yourself fired. See you later.”

“Adios.”

Sam hung up and took a deep breath, settling into the couch and stroking Lyla’s back.. 

“Well girl, sounds like I might have actually met someone. He’s gonna love you.”

He took a long pause, trying to decide if it was bad that he’d practically just met Gabriel, and he already wanted to introduce him to his family. Technically, Sam had met Cas briefly while he was helping Gabriel into the car after his session, but that wasn’t really the same.

“If he doesn’t like you, that’s kind of a deal breaker, huh?”

Sam was fully aware that talking to his dog was probably considered weird, but who else would listen to him all the time? Even Dean got bored of it eventually.

-

It was like torture trying to hold off on texting Gabriel. By lunch the next day, he’d caved, deciding that if he wanted them to get together that weekend, he’d have to be the one to step up. He could send the first text. He wasn’t a child.

Still, he was nervous as he pulled up the contact, typing what he hoped was a simple and breezy message.

Gabriel didn’t take long at all to respond, which he was incredibly grateful for. 

It sounded like Gabe honestly had no preference what they did at all, which was actually perfect. It meant that Sam could use his brilliant idea of going to the Weisman. It had been a while since he’d gone, and there were tons of other things they could do in the area afterwards.

And apparently, Gabe lived pretty close, which was also nice. If it had been summer, he could have walked there no problem.

They said their goodbyes and Sam got back to work, practically giddy because _he had a date with a really cute guy that he actually liked holy shit._ Already, he couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

Nothing was going to put a damper on his mood now. For once, the real Sam was almost exactly like the “New Sam” he’d tried to be, and it was one hell of a feeling.

When he got home, he almost forgot to feed Lyla in his excitement. He had to figure out what he was going to wear, where they would go for dinner, and about a hundred other things before tomorrow. This was going to be great, assuming he could keep himself from spontaneously combusting before then.

He hoped Gabriel was as excited as he was, because this was shaping up to be one of the best weekends of his life, if everything went the way he was hoping it would.

-

Saturday morning went on, much in the same way it had the week before, except that this time Sam knew that he not only had a date, but an _awesome_ one coming up. Since they’d already been through all the basic introductions, they could skip ahead right away to the interesting parts. Well, conversation wise, that is.

About a half hour before he had to leave, Sam’s phone lit up with a text from Gabe, and he crossed his fingers that it wasn’t some excuse or cancellation.

_**Hey! Just wondering what would be considered appropriate attire for our date?** _

Sam sighed and smiled, glad that they were still on. He knew the plans had been sort of last minute, even though he’d been wanting to set up a date since more than a week before.

_Pretty much anything should be okay, as long as you keep warm. What I have planned is relatively casual, and besides, people will probably be looking at your face, anyway._

He’d almost said _people won’t be looking at your clothes, anyway_ , but that could have been taken the wrong way entirely, and he knew Gabe was already self conscious enough about the chair and everything.

_**More likely YOURS, but that’s okay. So will I.** _

For such a dork, Gabriel was actually a pretty damn effective flirter. Sam was impressed.

_You can tell yourself that, but it doesn’t mean it’s true ;)_

Sam could honestly say that he had never, in his _life_ used a winky face when texting somebody, and he decided in that moment that he never would again. Well, maybe Gabriel would be an exception, but other than him. Never.

He checked himself in the mirror again before he grabbed his keys. He knew that he had told Gabriel to dress casual, and he knew that nobody else there would be formal, but Sam still wanted to at least look nice. So far, Gabriel had only ever seen him in work clothes, which weren’t always the most flattering outfit. Those ugly khaki and company polo shirt combos did nothing to make him, or anyone else he worked with, look good.

Once he deemed his outfit good enough, Sam put on his jacket, promising Lyla to be back as soon as they finished dinner.

-

He was still a few minutes early when he went to pick Gabriel up, so Sam sent him a quick text to let him know he was there. Gabriel responded quickly, letting him know that he would be down as soon as Cas finished whatever the hell he was doing and helped him.

When Sam offered to go up there and get him himself, Gabriel actually agreed, giving him the apartment number and telling him to just come in. If he knocked, Gabe said, nobody was going to come answer the door.

Cas, apparently, was trying to make some sort of food, and was rather preoccupied in the business of not burning it. Sam didn’t say anything, but from where he was standing, whatever it was looked like a completely lost cause already.

Sam greeted them both, turning to ask if Gabriel was ready to go, and grabbing the handles of his chair.

Cas waved them out, cursing at a pot of god knows what, currently boiling and splashing everywhere. Sam pitied him.

“So, how are you?” he asked, wheeling Gabe into the elevator. He had to press the down button at least four times before it would actually go.

“Can’t say I’m doing too bad, now can I?” he replied with a smile, before asking Sam the same.

“Pretty damn good, I suppose.”

They were both only wearing light jackets, even though it was just barely above fourty degrees. After the month they’d been having so far, that seemed absolutely tropical.

Still, not realizing that he’d gotten particularly used to indoor temperatures over the last couple of weeks, Gabriel must have been colder than he’d expected to be. Sam, ever the gentlemen, noticed and draped his own jacket over Gabe’s shoulders, trying not to grin at how big it seemed on him. It looked like it was twice his size.

By the time they reached Sam’s car, which he’d had to park almost a street away, the tips of his nose and ears were red, but that didn’t really matter.

Helping Gabriel get in was a process, but thankfully Sam’s vehicle was significantly bigger than Cas’ compact, since he’d bought it to accommodate his height. 

Sam made no comment when Gabe turned the heaters on to full, because he was a little chilly himself.

“So, are you gonna tell me where we’re going now, or do I have to wait and figure it out on my own?” Gabriel asked, buckling his seatbelt. He was still more than a little cautious about car rides, for obvious reasons. 

Sam thought about telling him, before shaking his head.

“Nah, I don’t think so. It’s not a far drive, though, and I’m pretty sure you’ll like it.”

-

Gabe apparently didn’t realize where they were until the moment they pulled up outside of the distinctive building. The Weissman held a striking resemblance to a ball of tinfoil.

Gabriel said that he hadn’t been to the place since he and Cas were kids, and it was still pretty new back then. The museum had a lot more exhibits and attractions now, and it was both new and nostalgic to be back. Coming here had definitely been a good call, Sam happily noted.

“You’re right, Sam. I definitely like it,” Gabe said with a grin, turning over his shoulder to look at him. 

Sam was rather pleased with himself, rolling him over to the elevator and trying not to smile _too_ proudly at the success of his idea. He just hoped the rest of their date would be able to live up to Gabriel’s expectations.


	4. Chapter 4

Gabe couldn’t believe Sam had taken them to the Weisman. No wonder Sam had been so proud of the idea. This was awesome.

Gabriel really hadn’t been lying when he said he would have gone anywhere with Sam and enjoyed it, but the fact that Sam picked something really cool just made it all the better. Today was going to be fantastic.

They made their way up to the main part of the museum, where they were immediately confronted with a giant James Rosenquist mural, which took up an entire wall.

Gabe took in the entire thing with awe, trying to commit every detail to memory. He smiled to himself when he realized Sam was doing the same. It had a dozen things going on at once, trying to capture the true essence of America. Or, at least, how America had been fifty years ago. It left out the racism and sexism, though, which was probably for the best.

-

They walked through the different sections and exhibits, admiring the beautiful art, and secretly mocking some of the less impressive works. Honestly, some of these looked like they were painted by God himself, and others… looked like something a proud parent might put on their fridge. But that was only a few, and the museum was at least as wonderful as he’d remembered, if not more so.

Gabriel was particularly struck by a Georgia O’keeffe painting of poppies. Maybe it was just because he hadn’t seen actual plants outside in so long, but something about it just hit him. It was bright, and bold, and stunning.

“Sam, Sam, hold on a sec,” he said before they could move on to the next piece.

“Yeah?” Sam asked, stepping to his side so they could talk more easily.

“Don’t you just love this one? I mean, the color and everything is just… Isn’t it?” He had no idea how to word what he intended to say, but it seemed like he got the idea across, at least.

“You think so? I love this piece.” Sam paused before finishing the thought. “Actually, I, uh, have a print of one of her other, similar paintings in my apartment.”

“No kidding? That’s awesome. I don’t know why, but I just really, really like this.”

“Oh yeah, I get it. It’s gorgeous.”

Gabe hesitated for a minute, wondering if he _really_ wanted to say what he was thinking. The answer, of course, was no, but that didn’t stop him.

“It’s the second most breathtaking thing here.” 

He’d whispered it, so that Sam would be the only one able to hear him. It was supposed to come out as a joke, but he’d sounded just a little bit too sincere for that. He _had_ meant it, of course, whether Sam knew that or not.

“Only if you’re first.” Sam grinned at him, dimples on proud display. 

God help them, these two were on their first date, and they were already absolute morons. If Cas could’ve heard that, he probably would’ve thrown up. Gabe smiled a little at the prospect.

“Okay, the painting’s third. We can be tied.” Gabe decided that would be better than arguing. He may not have completely agreed with the statement, but Sam seemed satisfied with it.

-

They finished looking around sometime after three o’clock, and it was still too early for dinner, but Gabe really was tired already. They went back to the car, but nobody had said anything about their next destination.

He wasn’t exactly in the mood to go do anything else before they ate, and luckily, Sam seemed to get that on his own. It hadn’t been a truly strenuous activity, but after spending so much time at home lately, it was enough.

“If you’re, um, cool with it, maybe we could just go hang out at my place for a while. No pressure, but if you want to, since we don’t have to do anything else for a bit.” Sam offered nervously, trying to make it clear that they wouldn’t be _doing_ anything at his place anyway. Gabriel really couldn’t have, anyway.

“That would be great, actually.” He smiled, turning his head to make sure Sam could see.

“Cool. Just, remember though, I have a seventy-five pound German Shepherd, and she _loves_ meeting new people. But, hey, at least the elevator in my building’s faster.”

“That’s good. And I love dogs. I always wanted to get one, but Cas was allergic, so we had goldfish as kids. Not exactly the same thing.”

“Well, Lyla’s great. My brother Dean doesn’t _hate_ dogs, but he really doesn’t like them, so I didn’t really have one until now.” Sam stopped for a second, and it looked like he was trying to picture something.

“Y’know, you really should meet Dean sometime. I bet you two would get along pretty well,” he finally said, folding the chair and putting it in the back.

“You and Cas should get properly introduced too. You have a lot in common.”

-

The apartment wasn’t that far away, and Sam was definitely right about the elevator being faster than at Cas’ place.

Sam’s apartment was homier than Gabe had pictured it. Instead of all the modern stainless steel and chic decorating he’d expected, it was adorned with worn leather furniture, barnwood tables, and yellow tinted light bulbs, making the whole place seem warmer. It was actually substantially bigger than Cas’—well, his and Cas’, now—even though Sam and Lyla were the only ones living there.

Lyla, of course, since she’d been trained as a service dog, was very well behaved. When they walked in, she waited until they were both in the living room, before she came over and gently laid her head in his lap. She was calmer than Gabe had expected, and somehow, it made sense that this was Sam’s dog. The two seemed to go together.

Upon his request, Sam helped him move onto the couch instead, and Lyla jumped up to sit on the other side, staring fondly at them with big brown eyes.

“You want anything to drink?” Sam asked, getting up to go to the kitchen.

“Sure. Coffee, if you have it.” 

Sam started brewing a pot, and came back over 

“So, you liked the museum?” Sam asked in confirmation, even though Gabriel had made it pretty obvious that he had.

“Yeah, that was a lot of fun.” He wasn’t sure if his next question was worth asking, but it was bothering him.

“Sam, you seem a little tense. Everything okay? Is there something I’m doing, or, _should_ be?”

Sam shook his head, taking a seat in the middle of the couch.

“No, Gabe, you’re great. Trust me, I don’t want you to change anything. I guess I’m just nervous because… I don’t know. It’s been a while. I mean, aside from the disaster that was last weekend, that is. I’m just a little paranoid about this going well, I think.”

Gabriel sighed, wondering how he could possibly think that this was going anything _but_ well.

“Sam, it may have been ‘a while’ for you, but I’ve only really had one relationship, _ever_ and it was years ago. As far as I can tell, you’re doing great.”

Sam looked up at him, almost shyly, and was it ridiculous that they were actually doing this on the _first date?_

“Listen,” Gabriel started, deciding that if Sam was willing to be honest with him, he ought to return the favor. “All day, and technically, even back to when I first met you, you have been nothing but kind, and enjoyable, and caring. You don’t mind the fact that I’m in this chair, and you’ve been considerate about _everything._ You’re generous, and thoughtful, and I don’t think you have anything to be nervous about. If anyone here should be worried about being impressive enough, it’s me. So, um, thank you.”

Sam gave him a genuine smile then, nervous mannerisms starting to fade. 

“Trust me, Gabriel. I wouldn’t be like this around you if I wasn’t already impressed.”

Gabe didn’t exactly want to dig for compliments here. It was just blatant curiosity that prompted him to ask. He needed to know what that meant.

“What exactly are you so impressed by, though? You’re smart, and gorgeous, and I’m… me.”

He wasn’t really sure what Sam saw in him. He didn’t exactly have a lot to offer, especially not in his current situation. Maybe he was just hoping that Sam could make him feel a little more deserving of the attention.

“Are you kidding me? Gabriel, you’re-you’re funny, and cute, and _just_ as smart as I am. And you get it, the whole leg situation. You didn’t even ask how it happened. That’s pretty damn rare. You’d impressed me within about five minutes of meeting you.”

Not sure of how to respond, Gabe quickly decided that they’d already surpassed several of the typical first date boundaries, so what was one more?

He leaned over, grabbing Sam’s face with one hand, and waited until he was sure Sam was leaning towards him too, before closing the distance and pressing their mouths together.

He’d forgotten how nice it felt to have someone’s lips moving against your own. And it was especially nice, he found out, when that someone was Sam.

Sam’s lips were warm, and soft, and he could feel just a little bit of stubble rubbing against his skin. It was perfect.

It was easy kissing Sam. It was just as gentle as he’d expected, although maybe a little more handsy. Sam had one hand running through Gabe’s hair, and the other was resting on the back of his neck. 

Gabriel was the first one to pull away, after what must have been at least a minute or more.

“Are you still nervous?” was all he could manage to ask, trying to compose himself again.

“I, uh.” Sam looked like he was dazed, and appeared to be at a loss for words. Gabriel would’ve been lying to say he wasn’t at least a little proud of himself for that.

“Okay. Well, good. I hope we can do it again sometime.”

“I think that could be arranged. I’ll have my assistant help you schedule an appointment.”

Gabe burst out laughing, not expecting such a quick comeback.

“I’m gonna go grab the coffee. Back in a sec.” Sam got up slowly, Lyla trailing after him.

“It’s not like I can go anywhere,” Gabe quipped, shaking his head and marvelling over how he managed to be at Sam’s apartment, on a date, kissing him. Who knew that car accident would have such a positive side effect?

“Do you like anything in yours?” Sam called, and he had to bite his tongue for a minute. It was obvious that it hadn’t been intended to be suggestive, but that was rather interesting word choice, nonetheless.

“No, black’s fine, thanks,” he replied when he could answer seriously.

Sam walked in shortly after with two large mugs, filled almost to the brim, and steaming hot.

He put his own on the coffee table, and was just handing Gabriel his when Lyla knocked into him and sent liquid sloshing off the edge of the mug.

Sam apologized quickly, offering to go grab a towel or something for his jeans, while Gabe just sat there and stared at his legs in awe.

“What’s the matter?” Sam asked, voice sounding altogether too concerned.

“I’m alright. I just, uh, _felt_ that.”

“Oh.” Sam said it with surprise, staring first at the coffee, and then back at Gabriel.

“Yeah. That’s good, I guess. Right?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, it’s good that you’re getting sensation back. It’s not good that I just accidentally spilled hot coffee on your leg.” Sam sounded guilty, but it wasn’t like he would get third degree burns from some coffee. 

“Don’t worry about that, it’s not that hot. I just… wasn’t expecting that.”

“Yeah, well, what can I say? Maybe my kisses have the ability to miraculously heal people. It’s a gift.”

He was glad he hadn’t taken a sip yet when Sam said that, because he would have just spit it out anyway.

“Well, if kissing gets me to feel, then what do we have to do so I can walk?” he teased. If Sam could be flirty and suggestive, then who had any right to say he couldn’t? Flirting was a game for two.

Blushing, Sam ducked his head, but Gabe knew he was still smiling.

-

And so they spent the better part of the next hour kissing. They had barely started on the coffee before it got cold, and the only other words exchanged were when they took a break to make dinner plans, deciding on Burger Jones. 

Gabe really would’ve been okay with skipping the meal altogether, and just staying here kissing Sam until he had to go home.

Some of the kisses were slower, sweeter. Others were quicker, less practiced, more passionate. He didn’t think he would ever get tired of kissing Sam, so he hoped that there would be a lot more of it in the future.

-

The dinner afterwards was nice, but no milkshake in the world tasted as sweet as Sam had, he discovered. Still, a day had yet to come when he wasn’t up for burgers.

Dinner talk was lighter, and he found himself more attracted to Sam every minute they spent together. The different faces he made when he was listening, the way his fingers played with his straw absently while he spoke. Gabriel felt like he was already getting dangerously attached to the man, in a way he wasn’t used to. He didn’t tend to rush into things, but Sam it seemed was an exception.

The drive back to his apartment was both relaxing and sad. He was tired, and it had been a long day, but somehow it still felt too soon. He wanted to spend more time with Sam, and he knew it was stupid because he was going to see him again that Thursday, but he still felt a small pang of longing when they said their goodbyes and Sam left.

“So, I take it the date went well?” Cas asked, washing the dishes after whatever he’d cooked. He had a smile that told Gabriel he was already well aware of how things had gone.

“It was perfect.”

x x x

The museum was just as striking as Sam remembered it, both inside and out, with ceiling high murals and the same unique architecture that had drawn his attention to it as a child. 

There were a few other people there, some couples, some families. For the most part, though, the place was relatively empty, and peacefully quiet. 

Gabriel appeared to be enjoying things just as much as he was, which was comforting. He had been so concerned about making sure everything was perfect for this, that now that he was actually on the date, he wasn’t entirely sure what to do. Still, he was having a good time, and Gabe was too, so he must have been doing _something_ right.

They went from section to section, seeing everything from American modernism to ancient Asian pottery. Gabriel seemed to like most of it, but he wasn’t really taken by anything until they were standing in front of a fiery orange Georgia O’keeffe painting, one that Sam was fairly fond of himself.

He tried to keep himself in check while he watched Gabriel study things intently. He read every single artist’s statement, taking time to figure out exactly what each piece was supposed to mean, if they had one specific meaning at all. It was simply mesmerizing, just the way he seemed so focused on every little detail. 

Sam finally asked Gabriel if he wanted to go out on the balcony, just for a minute. Gabe agreed, of course, and they made their way to the door.

He had to open the door first and let Gabriel roll himself out, because of how heavy it was. As soon as he’d turned the handle, there was chill air rushing in after it.

It was still cool outside, but he barely even noticed, too busy taking in the view. It stretched all the way out over the Mississippi, across a snow covered city, past miles and miles of land. This was one of the best places in the city to just stand back and admire your surroundings for a bit.

Sam realized that they should be going back in when he noticed Gabriel shivering a little. And so, taking one last look, he opened the door for Gabriel, and went inside to tour the rest of the museum.

-

They eventually ran out of new things to see, and they hadn’t planned anywhere else to go yet. Just as he was about to pitch some of the suggestions he’d come up with, Sam realized that Gabe actually looked a little beat, which he should have thought of before. Then he came up with an answer to both of those questions, if Gabriel was cool with it.

Sam helped him get into the car again, a challenge at which they were getting more efficient every time they faced it. Then he asked if there was anything else Gabriel really wanted to do, or if it would be better to just go sit and talk for a bit.

Sam was glad when his offer to go back to the apartment had been accepted. There had been at least a little worry that Gabe would think it was weird to go back to Sam’s place on the first date, even if they really were just hanging out. He didn’t really care what they did until dinner, and he mostly just wanted to make sure that Gabriel was comfortable and having a good time.

They drove back to his place, and it seemed like Gabriel was trying to commit the way to memory. He smiled, reading the name’s of the different stores and restaurants they passed, even though he’d been to almost all of them, and already knew the names.

-

Gabriel liked Lyla right away, which was good, because honestly, not getting along with his dog would have been reason to end things. Dean seemed to think that Sam was insane for thinking that, but then again, he’d never had a true pet of his own. If he had, he would’ve understood exactly why Sam felt that way.

The dog also took to Gabriel almost immediately, and Sam smiled, going out to the kitchen to dig around for the Folgers. Gabe seemed pretty at ease, which he was grateful for, because at least one of them should be calm.

Gabriel, of course, noticed that he wasn’t exactly relaxed, and Sam had to at least attempt to explain why. He had been putting a lot more pressure on how today went than he should have, and after figuring that out, he realized that things would be a lot more fun if he were a little more laid back about them. He’d never really been all that great with ‘going with things,’ though.

When Gabriel leaned in to kiss him, he couldn’t say that it had been expected. It wasn’t really bad timing, and the action was certainly welcomed. It just hadn’t been precedented by anything. They hadn’t even finished their first date, and all of a sudden they were kissing.

The longer he thought about it, the more convinced he was that it had probably been the best kiss he’d ever had. Even though they’d never kissed before, Gabe seemed to know exactly how to move his lips, their mouths connecting like they were one.

The kiss was breathy, and gentle, and even seemed to calm Sam down. There was a subtle trace of aftershave on Gabriel’s face, and a minty taste on his lips. It was soothing. Therapeutic.

When they eventually pulled back, Sam was struck speechless. It didn’t last too long, but still, that had been impressive—a really, really, good kiss, apparently for him and Gabriel both.

He finally got up to go grab the coffee that he’d nearly forgotten about, silently cursing when Lyla got in his way and some spilled.

“Sorry!” he exclaimed, trying to look around for something that could sop up some of the mess from Gabriel’s lap, while Gabe just sat there, seeming a little dumbfounded.

When he explained why, Sam had to remember to keep his emotions in check. He didn’t want to make a big deal about the fact that Gabe was starting to feel things again, but he would be lying if he said it wasn’t exciting. He was happy for him. This meant that recovery was not only possible, but at the moment, it seemed pretty likely.

-

When he sat back down and they kissed again, it was less of a first date kiss, but it was just as good, if not better, than the first had been. It was almost intoxicating, like some sort of drug, and he was already hooked.

He helped them shift into a better position, and he almost thought about pulling Gabriel onto his lap. Maybe some other time.

They kissed intensely, and there was nothing brief about it, but he wouldn’t really have considered it ‘making out.’ It probably was, but it seemed different, somehow.

They were only kissing. It wasn’t leading to _anything_ else, and he didn’t even want it to. He was perfectly pleased just kissing, and Gabe was too. So that’s what they did.

Their tongues slid together smoothly, and there was the faint bitter taste of coffee in the mix now, too.

He really hadn’t meant for any of this to happen today. He’d been planning on taking things slowly, getting to know Gabriel better, and not moving things along too quickly. His plans had a habit of taking off on their own lately, it seemed.

Still, kissing had been an offer that was just too good to refuse, and now that he knew just exactly how good they would be, he didn’t regret his choice for a second.

Dean was going to laugh like a moron when he found out that their ‘romantic date’ had turned into a high school under-the-bleachers, horny teenager kissing session, but that didn’t really matter. If he did laugh, that just meant he was jealous.

Almost a half an hour later, Sam realized that, whether it felt like it or not, time _was_ passing, and they hadn’t even chosen a restaurant yet. If they needed to make reservations, it was going to be too late to do it soon. Begrudgingly, he pulled away, and they briefly discussed options, though both were fairly eager to make a decision and return to what they’d been doing. Neither was particularly picky about where they went, and since he’d already told Gabe to dress casually, they chose to stick with something simple.

They spent the rest of the afternoon in much the same manner as they had been, with tongues and lips and teeth, all in sort of a hazy, blurry daze. _There was no better way to pass time_ he thought, hands cupping Gabriel’s face as his thumbs grazed across his jaw, tracing the bone back and forth underneath his fingertips.

They left for dinner a little after six, and Sam had to remind himself to fix his hair a little and straighten his shirt before leaving. They both looked positively disheveled, and their lips were still kiss-swollen and red. It was a very good look on Gabriel, and Sam hoped that it was one he would be wearing more often in the future.

They drove to the burger joint, and he smiled when Gabe cranked up the radio, Michael Jackson exiting the speakers and filling the car. It wasn’t one of his favorites, not by a long shot, but with Gabriel singing along, he had a new appreciation for the melody.

-

Once they were seated and had placed their orders, he realized that Gabe was staring at him.

“What?” Sam asked, trying to figure out if there was anything on his face, or if Gabe was just… staring.

“You’re cute.” Gabriel made it into a statement, not an observation. It wasn’t his opinion, it was fact. Sam was cute, this was final, and it was not up for debate. He hadn’t even meant for it to be that funny, but it still was.

Sam laughed, trying really hard for it to not turn into giggles, and he had to take a very deep breath before he could retain himself.

“You’re cute too,” he reassured him, taking a sip of his drink and trying not to start laughing again, because he was afraid if he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop.

They talked about everything and nothing while they waited for the food to come, and Sam found himself getting lost and not paying attention more than once.

They talked about Cas and Dean, about work and school and anything else that happened to come up. It flowed naturally, never lulling. It was comfortable.

Once the meals arrived, however, conversations came to a halt, as they both enjoyed their food, probably a little too much.

The noises Gabe was making were bordering on being downright _sexual_ , and the worst part was, it didn’t seem intentional at all. He didn’t appear to have any idea what he was doing, and if he did, then he certainly didn’t mind doing it. Both of those were distinct possibilities.

-

Sam remembered the way back to his building without directions, given that it was so close to his own. He made sure to greet Cas too, as he said his goodbyes.

It was strange dropping Gabriel off. For some reason, he really wanted him to stay. But then again, having Gabe with him would have made Dean’s phone call a hell of a lot more awkward.

“Was it everything you hoped for and more?” Dean asked, in a mock teenage girl’s voice.

 _God, yes_ Sam thought. Not that he planned on telling Dean that.

“It was a lot of fun. We had a good time.”

“So, did you set up a second date?” Dean sounded hopeful, like it was him going on the date, and not his brother.

“Well, not really. I’m seeing him Thursday anyways, though, and I can pretty much guarantee that there will be a second date.” He smiled, just thinking about kissing Gabriel again. He would probably have to refrain from doing that at work, however. And, that might not be a detail he needed to present to Dean.

“Good for you. I’m sure he’s positively lovely.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. You can laugh all you want. Just remember, _you_ were the one telling me to start dating again in the first place.” And although he didn’t voice the thought, Sam couldn’t help thinking that Gabriel was _extremely_ lovely. 

“Maybe I am, but not like this. Not after the first date. Sam, you are hopeless, aren’t you?”

He really wished the answer to that question wasn’t yes, but as it was, he just decided not to say anything.

“Well, you’ll have to introduce me sometime, then.” He was final about it, and it sounded like even Dean was convinced that they would be dating for a while.

It was weird. Like, he knew they’d only just had their first date, and they weren’t really together yet, but Sam knew that they _would_ be. Cheesy as it may have been, he felt like this time was different. Truthfully, he hadn’t even felt this way about Luce, not this early on. Gabriel was special.

“Yeah, I’ll do that. I really think you’ll like him.” There was a smile in Sam’s voice as he said it, confident that they would get along just fine. In fact, probably even better than that.

“Alright, I kinda have to go. I’m glad your date went well.”

“Thanks. Goodnight!” 

“Goodnight.”

After Dean hung up, Sam just sort of collapsed onto the couch. He was tired, and happy, and all too ready for Thursday to hurry up and come.

He had to drag himself out of the living room to take a shower, practically falling onto his bed afterwards.

He felt like he was fourteen again, and had just had his first kiss. His lips tingled and his cheeks were warm, and everything was starting to remind him of Gabriel.

When he’d looked around his living room, he could still picture Gabe sitting there, next to Lyla, and it left Sam smiling like a complete dork.

Before he turned off his bedside lamp, Sam took one last look at the framed painting on the wall next to his closet. It wasn’t the exact same one from the museum, but it was similar. It had been one of the few things saved from their old house, and Dean had insisted that he keep it, because he’d ‘always had more of an eye for art.’

Dragging the blanket up to his ears and rolling onto his side, Sam wondered how soon was too soon to tell Gabriel the truth about his leg. Even though he was usually upset when people asked, for once, he found himself _wanting_ to tell someone the whole story, and he couldn’t really remember a time in his life when that had been true before.


	5. Chapter 5

“So, where did you guys go?” Cas asked, finishing the rest of the dishes. Cas was, as Gabriel had expected, curious to hear all the details of his date. Gabe really needed to get this kid a girlfriend. Or boyfriend, whatever he was into.

“Uh, the Weisman. And Burger Jones.” Gabe didn’t really intend to bring up the part where they went back to Sam’s and kissed, because he didn’t feel the need to share all of _those_ details with his little brother. He wasn’t really one to kiss and tell, or at least he wasn’t _anymore_.

“Sounds like you had a good time, then?” Cas asked, scrubbing something black off the bottom of a pan.

“Absolutely. He’s kind of incredible, actually.”

“And how’s that?” Cas walked in from the kitchen to sit on the armchair, drying his hands off on his pants.

“He just is. I’m not really sure I can explain it, but he’s something else. You’ll have to get to know him.” Gabe honestly had no idea how to describe what Sam was. He just… _was._

“I guess I will,” Cas said with a smile. “Good for you. So the next time you’re seeing him is in therapy on… Thursday?”

“Yup.” Gabriel smiled just thinking about it. “So what’d you do all night without me?” He asked, even though he secretly just wanted to know what that abomination Cas had been cooking earlier was. Gabe didn’t want to be too forward and hurt Cas’ feelings, although he couldn’t help thinking that it looked like one of the least appetizing meals he’d seen to date.

“Well, I cleaned the bathroom, watched the news, and I made a tater tot hot dish. There’s more in the fridge, if you want to try it. I should warn you, though, it turned out a little….”

He didn’t even complete the thought, just making a face that told Gabriel all he really needed to know. Cas made an uneasy gesture with his hand as the sentence trailed off, signifying that even _he_ recognized that the meal was not a success. It was all Gabriel could do not to burst out laughing right then and there, but he assured Cas that he would try it if he got hungry. This, of course, was a lie.

It was only about seven thirty, so it wasn’t like either of them were in any real rush to go to bed yet. Cas and Gabe were able to just sit up and watch TV or talk for a while, which was nice. Gabriel was at least grateful for the fact that after the accident, he got to see his brother a lot more.

Even though they’d spoken every couple of days before it happened, and tried to see each other at least once or twice a month, both of the brothers seemed to like this much better. Instead of being one of those roommates that you get sick of and want to kill the more you’re around each other, living at Cas’ just meant that Gabe his favorite person pretty much all of the time. He still wasn’t thrilled about the whole ‘dependent’ thing, but if he had to live with anyone, he was glad that it was Cas. 

“So, are _you_ interested in anybody new these days?” Gabe asked, even though he knew damn well that the answer was going to be no. That didn’t mean the conversation needed to end there.

“Gabriel, am I ever?” Cas sounded exasperated that Gabe had even asked, like it was some sort of chore to even answer.

“Well, I don’t know. If you are, you must be keeping it to yourself.”

“I’m ace, Gabriel.” He said it as though that had anything to do with anything, even though that was totally irrelevant to the question.

“So? That doesn’t mean you can’t date. You’ve been in relationships before.”

“But those were different. They were also asexual. I can’t just expect somebody who’s used to having and enjoying sex to drop that just so they can go out with me.” Cas knew he must have explained this idea to Gabriel at least a dozen times, and he got the same answer whenever he did, although he never seemed to listen to it.

“Bullshit. Why wouldn’t they? Anyone worth dating at all isn’t that shallow.”

“Gabe, why do we always have to do this? I’m perfectly fine on my own. You’re the one who can’t seem to let the idea of me dating go.” Cas wasn’t really angry, but it didn’t take a psychologist to figure out that he wasn’t enjoying the discussion.

“Look, I just want you to be happy. I think that people would be more willing than you think.”

Gabe always assumed that if he fell for someone, then their limits wouldn’t bother him. He would just go as far as they wanted, and be happy with that. Thinking about it now, at least temporarily, he was sort of impotent himself. That hindering was certainly clear to Sam, and he hadn’t minded.

“I am happy, though. I don’t want to make anyone change how they are for me, any more than I want to change for them.”

Gabriel sighed, because he already knew where the conversation would go from here, and Cas was too stubborn to hear his arguments. It was almost like he didn’t _want_ people to be interested in him. Gabe knew that Cas really was a bit of a hopeless romantic, and Cas liked dating, even if he didn’t entirely understand it. The problem was, Cas refused to believe that anybody would really want to be with him, and that thought was actually pretty sad.

“Whatever you say, Cassy. But I just don’t think you give people enough credit.”

“I’ll believe that when I witness it first hand.”

Gabriel decided that his brother would just get mad if he pointed out the fact that Cas literally wasn’t allowing that to happen. Instead, he just silently hoped that someday, Cas could figure this out for himself, or maybe fall in love with another ace person, whatever happened to be the case. He deserved to be happy, and that meant _really_ happy, not just saying he was fine with the way things were to make people shut up.

Cas, as antisocial as he could be, actually craved human interaction. He wasn’t a fan of large crowds or hanging out in groups, but having a few people he could depend on was the only thing that kept him sane sometimes, and Gabriel knew that as well as he did.

“Can we talk about something else, please?” Cas asked, not really in the mood right now to delve into a deep discussion of his sexuality (or lack thereof).

“Yeah, all right, fine. I was just curious.”

“I know. But we’ve been over it. I’m not planning on dating any time soon, and maybe not ever. End of topic.”

“Fine, fine.” Gabriel had to think for a minute of something to change the conversation to. 

“Have you talked to mom and dad lately? Like, post-hospital lately?” he finally asked, hoping that Cas was closer to their parents than he was himself. 

Cas shook his head, suddenly realizing that it had been over two weeks since he’d last heard from either of their parents.

“Remind me to call them tomorrow, then. It’s probably a little too late to do it tonight.” Gabe said. He didn’t want to tell his parents about Sam, but still, he probably ought to talk to them, and at least let them know how things were going with therapy and everything. Omitting a few details that were irrelevant to his recovery, that is.

-

When Gabe called the next morning, the conversation went about as well as he could have expected, given that it was his father who answered the phone.

“Hey, dad.”

“Gabriel.” 

_Ah yes, Zachariah Novak, a man of many words indeed. What a fond greeting._

“How’re you and mom?” He really wasn’t sure where to lead this conversation, since in his head, Gabe had planned on speaking with his mother.

“We’re fine. How are you and Castiel?” 

It was still weird hearing people refer to Cas by his full name, even their parents. Nobody had called him Castiel since they were kids.

“Cas and I are doing pretty good.”

“Well.”

“Well what?”

“It’s ‘Cas and I are doing pretty well.’”

Gabriel tried to make his groan quiet enough that his father couldn’t hear, glad that Zachariah couldn’t see the absolute agony on his face. Sometimes he forgot just how uptight that man could be. 

“Is mom around?” He asked, deciding quickly that he’d spoken enough with his dad.

“Hold on a minute, let me get her.”

Gabriel drummed his fingers against the table absently, wondering why he’d even decided to call.

“Gabe?” His mother asked, in a much more cheerful tone than her husband.

“Hey mom. How’s it going?”

“Oh, I’m all right. How are you? How’s, the, uh, leg situation?”

“I can feel again, sort of. My therapist, Sam, seems to think I’ll have a pretty full recovery, so I suppose that’s good.” Gabriel tried not to let his voice pick up when he mentioned Sam, and he hoped that his mother hadn’t noticed any change in tone.

“That’s fantastic! When that happens, we’ll have to fly you boys up here to see us again, it’s been forever. We would’ve come to visit while you were in the hospital, but with the blizzards, flying just wasn’t an option.”

Cas had told him earlier that neither parent gave any reason why they didn’t come to the hospital, so to hear that it was only because of things out of their control was comforting. Having them there probably wouldn’t have made Gabriel’s life any easier, but he was still unsettled that they hadn’t come. Their son almost _died_ , and they weren’t there.

“That’s all right. And yeah, I’d love to see you and everyone again.” Gabriel wasn’t sure where the lie ended and the truth began, because while he _did_ miss his mother, he wasn’t sure there were many other people he wanted to see.

“Listen, Gabriel, I’ve got some errands to run, so I’ve gotta go, but I can put you back on with your father, if you want?”

“No, that’s okay. I’ve got things I should be doing too. Tell dad I said goodbye.”

“Okay. Love you!”

“You too.”

-

Cas looked up at him expectantly when Gabe hung up the phone.

“Dad and mom are alright, she wants us to come visit, and my grammar needs improvement.” He summarized, though the description would’ve fit most conversations with the Novaks.

Cas nodded in understanding, and didn’t seem too surprised that Gabriel hadn’t really mentioned Sam. Cas had probably figured that his brother hadn’t planned to do that, at least not yet. There was really nothing good that would come of it.

-

The week was about as tedious and uneventful as watching paint dry, and by the time Thursday came around, Gabriel would’ve been happy to leave for just about anything. The fact that the something also happened to be Sam Winchester was just a really nice bonus.

Sure, he and Sam had texted a few times throughout the week, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be excited to actually see him again.

Sam strolled through the door at exactly one o’clock to lead him back, and there was no denying the smile he’d sported when he saw Gabriel. It was returned in full, with a wink thrown in once the receptionists couldn’t see. Gabe still wasn’t sure what the company policy was for this sort of thing, but he figured that it would be better safe than sorry, for a lot of reasons.

“So, how have you been?” Sam asked, still smiling like he’d just won the lottery or something.

“Bored. This really hasn’t been the most active month of my life, to be honest. How about you?” 

“Can’t say I’ve done anything much in the last few days, either. Honestly, Saturday has been the highlight of my year, so far.” Sam’s face was turning red even as he said it, but the words were past his lips before he could’ve stopped them from spilling over.

He looked over at Gabe with a shy smile, clearly not used to saying things so bold.

“Man, I’m glad you think so, cause seriously? Me too. Even when I could still walk.”

Sam broke into a grin at that, and his face was all dimples and rainbows as he spoke.

“I’m honored. That means a lot to me.” Sam said it in a way that was half joking, but he smiled sincerely.

“So, there will be a next time, then? Because I’d really like to kiss you again, if I can.” Gabriel had already been pretty confident in a second date, but it didn’t hurt to ask.

Laughing, Sam bent down and gave him a brief kiss, before informing him that, hell yeah, there would be a next time.

Gabriel smiled at that, more than happy to go on another date, even if it did mean getting dressed and leaving home. It was well worth the effort.

“Okay, so, today we’re gonna be doing some stuff with exercise bands, and a little bit later, if there’s time, I have one more thing I want to add to your at-home work list.” Sam slid back into therapist mode, because flirting wasn’t really part of the job.

-

The session went on like that. It would have been almost _sinfully_ boring if Gabe hadn’t had Sam’s face to stare at the entire time. Since he did, however, Gabriel wound up hanging onto every word, listening to Sam go on and on about why this helped and how and where and blah, blah, blah. Gabe was glad that this was only part of the job requirements, and that outside of work Sam was more interesting. All of the technical terminology wasn’t much of a turn on.

On multiple occasions throughout the session, Gabriel wound up with Sam’s hand on him, or his on Sam, and they had to step back for a minute before they violated just about every rule there was. Sam was doing his best to be professional here, and Gabe at least owed him the courtesy of doing the same. Except, he wasn’t trying all that hard.

Still, Sam managed to be one hell of a tease about it, and Gabriel knew for a fact that, if it were possible, he would’ve been at least half hard by now.

The more he thought about it, the more eager he was to get better, if for no other reason than once again having control over his own dick, which was, apparently, a very overlooked privilege for him. Never again would he take advantage of that.

-

By the time the session was ending, Gabe was almost desperate to spend more time with Sam, and get to kiss him for real, instead of having to worry about somebody walking in or anything of that nature. Gabe needed to make sure that they set up another date because he actually didn’t know how long he could to go without it right now.

“Are you free again Saturday, then?” Sam asked him, handing him a few of the exercise bands to bring home and use.

“It just so happens that I am,” Gabriel replied, mouth quirking up at the corners.

“Okay. I have to hurry up, actually, if I’m gonna help with the car, so why don’t we work out the details over text?”

“Sure thing.” 

-

Sam helped him get in, and as he walked back into the building, Gabe could distinctly hear him cursing about how small Cas’ car was, and that it wasn’t built for real human beings.

It wasn’t until he was almost all the way back to the apartment that Gabe realized what that Saturday was. He wondered if Sam had thought about it, either, or if he’d just chosen it because weekends were more convenient. Either way, this was going to be the first time in years since he had a date on Valentine’s day.

x x x

Sam’s week was full of stress, as he saw more and more new patients come in with snow-related injuries. There were snowboarders who’d broken ankles, skaters with muscle problems, and of course, more car accident victims. This winter really was shaping up to be one of the worst.

Nobody Sam saw was in shape quite as bad as Gabriel had been, but he knew from the news that there had been deaths, from things as mundane as just shovelling.

He especially hated when the patients were kids. Sure, they usually healed faster, but he could only remember his own childhood, and how his peers had always reacted to his leg. It was worse for them, in a way.

Seeing new people walk in hurt was never fun, even though he knew that was the only way to keep business going. Sam much prefered when people got to leave for the last time, after full or nearly full recoveries. He liked helping people, but at the same time, it was always sad when people needed his help.

-

Still mulling over the fact that his friend Adam just had to help a seven year old with a completely broken knee, Sam wasn’t in the best mood when he walked out for his second to last patient on Thursday. Of course, that was only because he’d completely forgotten who that person was.

As soon as he caught sight of Gabriel, his lips split into a grin so big it hurt his cheeks, and he was glad to see that Gabe smiled back at him just as hard.

Sam was more than happy to make small talk while he set up the things they needed, and though his confession about their date may have been a little embarrassing, he was happy to hear that it was a mutual feeling. 

Gabriel, throughout the entire session, could not seem to keep his hands to himself. Sam had to remind himself that he was at work several times, and the worst thing was that Gabe didn’t even seem to be completely aware he was doing it, or at least not of the effects it was having.  
Sam tried to get payback as best as he could, but it didn’t work to the same effect.

At the moment, Gabriel’s current position, sexually speaking, was serving as an unfair advantage, and Sam was determined to get his revenge as soon as he was able to. 

Sam only risked kissing him, quickly, a couple of times, because of where they were. Mostly, though, he managed to keep himself under control, silently cursing Gabriel every time he tested those limits.

Before Gabe left, they made sure to arrange for another outing on Saturday, and Sam had taken it upon himself again to plan, since he already knew which places and events in the area were handicap accessible.

Sam kind of hoped they could go somewhere where they could be alone, because he’d decided that he wanted to tell Gabriel his story sooner than later. He figured that Gabe would be understanding, and Sam just wanted it out in the open, at least between them. Even though it really wasn’t a secret, not exactly, Sam still sort of felt like he was keeping it from him.

Maybe they could just go back to his place again, if Gabe would keep from kissing him long enough to get the words out. Sam wasn’t sure he _should_ be telling Gabriel all of this so soon, but he really, really wanted to. Sam trusted him, and while that thought scared him a little, he was happy about it. Being around Gabriel put him at ease.

-

The only people who knew Sam’s whole story besides Dean were Charlie, Ellen, Jo, Bobby, and Ash, and those five were practically his family. Adam knew some of the story, but not the entire thing, as was true for most of his other friends.

Bobby and Ellen had been there to help when it had happened, and he pretty much grew up with Jo. As for Charlie and Ash, he decided that they were going to learn sooner or later, so there wasn’t much point in keeping it from them, either. With anybody else, it was typically just simpler to lie.

He’d actually come up with a fake story shortly after school started that first year, and Sam had told that version to so many people throughout his life that he eventually lost track. As soon as he figured out that other kids weren’t going to stop asking about it, Sam decided it would be easier to just tell them _something_ , even if it wasn’t the truth.

His cover story, which he still used occasionally, had taken a lot of thought before he deemed it convincing enough. According to the story, he had been on a summer camping trip with his dad and brother, and they had been in a hunting area. He had gone out in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and managed to step into a bear trap, basically wrecking his leg beyond repair.

Over the years, he tweaked some of the details to make it more realistic, but he’d kept essentially the same cause. It was easier to tell people that that’s how things had happened, because honestly, that would’ve been a lot better. The truth was actually a lot harder to accept, and he kept to himself a lot, and was just generally closed off, so he’d only had to explain the real situation a couple of times in his life.

Sam didn’t want to ruin a perfectly good date by spilling his tragic backstory all over it, but that was basically the only option. He saw no other way to do it, besides trying to tell him over text, and that would never work, even if he wanted it to. 

No, this was going to happen face to face, hopefully on Saturday, and Sam would just have to hope that they were still able to enjoy the date after that.

Thinking about the date, he actually had to start planning for that soon, if he had any hopes of trying to top last week. Maybe he should just dedicate an entire afternoon to making out. Gabe would probably be on board for that.

It wasn’t until Sam got back to the apartment after work and looked at his calendar that he realized Saturday was the fourteenth. He didn’t know if that was going to be a good thing or a bad thing, but it was a little amusing that neither Gabriel or himself seemed to think about that when they set up their date that afternoon.

Sam knew, then, that restaurants were going to be packed if they went to dinner anywhere. He could make reservations now, but he wasn’t sure that Gabriel would want to go out on Valentine’s day, especially when it really was only their second date. It might be uncomfortable for him, which was totally understandable.

Of course, Sam Winchester was nothing if not adaptable. He had a knack for coming up with creative solutions for his problems, and there were two things he made very well: dates, and spaghetti.

If that _thing_ Cas had been making the previous week was any indication of how Gabriel had been eating since the accident, he needed a decent meal ASAP. In fact, Sam thought he probably ought to make enough so that Gabe could take home leftovers, too. 

-

Staying at his own apartment would give Sam a better opportunity for the leg story, so it seemed like the best solution all around.

He sent Gabe a quick text to run the plans by him before making a grocery list, hoping that he didn’t have any dietary restrictions. When Sam cooked, he liked to go all out.

_What do you think of staying in on Saturday? I could cook spaghetti._

It took a couple of minutes before he got a response, and a very enthusiastic one at that.

_**Absolutely! That would be really nice.** _

Sam smiled, petting Lyla as she rubbed against his leg.

“Looks like we’re having company.”

-

As soon as he got out of work the next day, Sam was on his way over the supermarket to buy… well, basically everything.

Aside from a couple of spices, he needed noodles, bread, salad, things for sauce, and whatever else was necessary for dessert.

He cringed inwardly at the total when he was wrung up, before remembering that this would make at least three batches, and he really hadn’t done enough grocery shopping lately. Besides, now was his chance to impress Gabriel with his flawless cooking skills, even though this was basically the only dish he was exceptional at.

He figured it would be better to just make a shit load of the stuff, because when Dean heard he’d made pasta, he would probably want some, too. It was, like, the only real food Dean liked as much as pie, and that was something Sam took great pride in. Technically, the sauce recipe was just an adaptation of one from an old Betty Crocker book, but he’d changed it enough that he considered it to be his own.

At the risk of being entirely too romantic about this, Sam decided to get some candles, too, because it was still Valentine’s day, and they seemed appropriate.

It wasn’t until Saturday morning that Sam figured out they hadn’t even made a specific time, so he made sure to let Gabriel know that he would be there to pick him up at six, as long as he didn’t say otherwise, which Gabe didn’t.

Sam would’ve prefered not to have had to cook _while_ Gabriel was there, but since Gabe sort of needed the ride, there wasn’t much choice in the matter. Sam already had a chocolate mousse in the fridge for dessert, and he’d made the salad the night before, so he didn’t have a _ton_ to do.

\- 

Sam put on a clean button down, and made sure he’d set the table as nicely as he could before leaving to pick up Gabriel.

Cas smiled and said hello when he answered the door, and Sam kindly returned the greeting before getting Gabriel and leaving again.

It was apparent that Gabe had decided to look nice, too, and even if his shirt was a little bit wrinkled, Sam was positively flattered. It was a nice gesture, and he _did_ look rather handsome. 

On the drive back, he only had one hand on the wheel, and Gabriel grabbed his other softly when he noticed it between them. It was nice, just linking their fingers together and sitting in silence, for at least a couple of minutes.

Once they were back at his place, Sam asked Gabe where he wanted to sit while Sam made dinner, and he opted to just stay in his wheelchair and hang out in the kitchen so they could talk.

Lyla sat down gingerly at his feet, and Gabriel leaned over to run a hand across her back.

Sam put the water on for the noodles, and after this dinner was through, he imagined that he was going to have to wash just about every dish he owned. 

“Happy Valentine’s day, by the way,” he said as he stirred the red wine into the sauce.

“Oh yeah! You too.” Gabriel was obviously pretending that he hadn’t remembered, although he never had been a particularly good actor.

“I really hope you like spaghetti, and you weren’t just being polite when you sent that, because I think I’m making enough food here to feed an army.” Sam wasn’t joking. It was the biggest pot he owned, and he’d filled it nearly all the way.

“Trust me, Sam, I like spaghetti. Unless my brother’s making it, but then it isn’t really spaghetti, anyway.”

Sam laughed, tucking his hair behind his ears to keep it out of his face.

“Oh, um, what exactly… _was_ that thing he was making last week?”

“That was, according to Cas, tater tot hot dish.”

Sam raised his eyebrows in question, trying to figure out in what way that qualified as hot dish. Really, how it qualified as food in general.

“I don’t know,” Gabriel said in answer, clearly as unimpressed by the dish as Sam was.

“Well, at least he tried.” 

-

While everything was either cooking or simmering, Sam pulled the bowl of salad out of the fridge and filled their plates, taking a few minutes to sit down and eat before serving the main course.

“So, talk to me, Sam. Tell me something.” Gabe folded his arms and leaned forward in interest, and his golden eyes were almost piercing in the candle light.

“Like what?” Sam had decided not to bring up the topic of the night until later, and that didn’t seem like the kind of thing Gabe wanted to know right now, anyway,

“I don’t know. Tell me about work, or something you like, or Dean, or whatever. I don’t care what. I just want to get to know you.”

“Well, let’s see… I wanted to be a lawyer when I was seven, but switched to therapist a little after. My brother’s three years older than me, and he’s an engineer. And, I guess I like… mystery novels?” He paused for a second before adding “What about you?”

Gabriel seemed to be completely convinced that he wasn’t interesting, but Sam had yet to find a time when that had been true, and tonight was no different.

“When I was seven, I think I wanted to be a firefighter. Now, when I was _seventeen_ , I wanted to be a photographer, and I still take pictures sometimes, but I also like what I currently do for a living. Cas is twenty eight, and he works down at the Barnes and Noble, for now, but it’s not gonna be a permanent thing for him. And if we’re being honest here? I have a secret love for Mexican soap operas. Don’t tell my brother.” Gabriel’s eyes twinkled a little when he spoke.

Just when Sam was about to say something in response, the timer went off and he had to get up to drain the noodles, and serve the rest of the dinner.

He sat down across from Gabe again, but given this size of his table, they were still only a couple of feet apart.

Sam waited expectantly while Gabe took his first bite, and watched his face slowly spread into a grin. He swallowed and started twirling more onto his fork.

“Oh my god Sam, this is amazing. I think I could probably eat this every day.”

Sam beamed, taking a bite of his own. It certainly wasn’t bad.

For a few minutes, they just ate in silence, before the conversation began again, with Sam leading it. He took a deep breath, and with it, a leap of faith.

“Hey, Gabriel? There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments welcome :)


	6. Chapter 6

When Gabe mentioned that he and Sam were going to go on a date on Valentine’s, Cas had raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t comment. 

Gabriel felt a little guilty when Sam offered to cook. It seemed like he was doing all of the work right now. Even if Gabe wasn’t able to do a lot himself, it still felt weird having Sam do so much for him.

\- 

As thrilling as Gabe’s life at home was, Saturday night could not come soon enough. By the time Sam was picking him up, he’d already been dressed and ready for nearly half an hour. Gabe had straightened his shirt at least once every five minutes, but despite his efforts, it was still a little wrinkled when Sam got there.

Once they were in the car, a couple of blocks from the apartment, Gabriel noticed Sam’s hand hanging down by his side, and impulsively reached for it, lacing their fingers together. Sam just squeezed back and ran a thumb over Gabriel’s knuckle.

The apartment was just how he remembered it, except maybe a little cleaner. Sam probably hadn’t been counting on having company over the previous weekend, but it seems like tonight, he went all out.

-

For a few minutes, Gabe just watched Sam cook, and appreciated his confidence, the way he knew what he was doing without taking measurements, how he looked so easy about the task.

They spoke about little things, the sort of stuff you might overlook about a person. Like how Sam was in debate during high school, or how Gabe had worn braces for nearly three years because he had the biggest tooth gap on earth.

By the time they were settling in to eat, Gabe was almost starving, even with the salad they’d had earlier. It smelled like he had taken a direct plane to Italy. 

And when Sam reminded him to save room for a chocolate mousse? Gabriel might have fallen for the guy just a little bit more.

The spaghetti tasted like sex felt, and he had the brief thought of the scene from Lady and the Tramp when the dogs share pasta together off of the same plate, and wind up kissing over a noodle. Now, having tried that on a few occasions himself, Gabe could confirm that it did not work, and you just wound up getting sauce all over your faces. But still, it was cute in the movie.

Gabe decided halfway through the plate that he should’ve brought champagne, because that was just about the only thing that could’ve improved the meal. That was definitely getting noted for next time.

Once they both started getting full, Sam finally broke what had been a comfortable silence, with a rather alarming statement.

“Hey, Gabriel? There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.” Sam looked at him nervously, and there was no trace of his usual smile.

Gabriel stopped chewing for a second, startled by the sentence. He figured that this could either be good or bad, but there was really only one way to know for sure.

“And what would that be?” he asked, trying to keep his tone casual.

“Well, I kind of want to tell you, y’know, what happened with my leg. I mean, the story’s about a lot more than that, but still.”

Gabriel could tell by his tone and expression that this was a pretty serious thing to be discussing, so he nodded, face straightening quickly.

-

“So, I already told you that it happened when I was eight, right?”

Sam took the silence as a response before continuing.

“Well, you should also know that my mom died when I was eight.”

Gabe’s expression fell, but he didn’t want to interrupt, so he kept his condolences to himself, for the time being.

“November second, nineteen years ago, I lost a lot of things. My mom, my leg, my first home. 

“So, there was a fire, and, it started in, uh, my bedroom. I’d just stopped sharing one with Dean the year before, so I was right across the hall from my parent’s room.

“When I was a kid, I used to sleep pretty deeply, so I didn’t even notice the heat until the smoke detector went off. By then, there were flames all along the far side, by the window, and I kind of froze. I couldn’t even move. So, the leg part was basically just some really nasty burns. It was a lot more graphic than what you’ve seen in movies. I won’t go into detail, because that’s just...yeah. What’s strange is that, I was in so much shock, that I couldn’t even feel it at first. Once I could though, holy shit. Not pleasant.

“So, after that, my mom came in to try and help, and she went over to the other side of my bed, which was closer to the fire. My dad had gone to get Dean, who basically had to carry me out, since I couldn’t walk. He was only eleven, but I was a pretty scrawny kid, so somehow he managed. I didn’t see my mom die, not exactly, but I know that she got caught in the flames, and my dad burned his hands pretty severely trying to get her out. She’d been in that room, in the fire, to try and save _me_.”

Sam stopped for a second, throat catching as he spoke, and Gabriel just reached out a hand and took his, trying to comfort Sam as much as he could. Gabe could understand why this wasn’t a story he told everyone he met, and while he felt horrible for him, there was also a little gratitude that Sam trusted him enough to share it.

“I can’t remember my dad calling 911, but soon there were fire trucks, police, ambulances—the works. I was taken to the hospital, and so were my dad and brother, although Dean wasn’t hurt too badly. I remember wondering why my mom wasn’t there, but Dean was just holding my hands, and my dad kept telling me that it was going to be okay. The anesthesia eventually kicked in, and I was out before we ever reached the hospital, so I don’t remember anything immediately after.

“My dad opted not to take any serious pain meds, even though they kind of told him he needed it, because he wanted someone to be there for Dean. That, and knowing my dad, looking back, I think he wanted to feel the pain, if that makes sense. Sometimes it’s easier to let a physical pain overwhelm an emotional one. Like, he was almost using it as some sort of distraction.

“So, basically, they took me in for emergency surgery, and deemed the damage to my leg irreversible, and amputated it.

“Once I woke up, my dad had to explain to me both the fact that my leg was gone, _and_ that my mom had died. It was the only time in my life I’ve ever seen the old man cry, and I hope I never do again. That next day was pretty awful, needless to say.

“Dean was there, too, and he was a mess, of course. I, at least, still had the advantage of denial, but he’d fully realized that she was gone at this point. 

“I never really went through the stages of grief, or properly mourned my mother, because after the amputation, I had a lot of other things going on in my life. That made accepting her death a lot harder, actually. 

“They say that when someone dies, it’s best to distract yourself, but I don’t think that’s true at all. It takes time to truly move on, and you can’t just ignore it until it goes away, but I didn’t get much choice in that.”

There were tears slowly sliding down Sam’s face now, but he just wiped them away and continued.

“I was in all different kinds of therapy, both for my leg and my mental health, and I have no idea how my dad was able to afford all that.

“I had always been young for my grade, so my dad made the decision to just take me out of school for the rest of the year, and we moved here from Kansas. Dean was put back into school a few weeks later, but I got the rest of the year to just adjust and recover.

“It was pretty lonely after my dad found work, since it was just me during the days, but I knew he was doing the best that he could for us, so I just read a lot and tried not to get too down on myself. It was actually a relief, when summer started, even though I knew I would be back to school again soon. At least I wasn’t alone all the time anymore.

“I hadn’t expected kids to be so harsh about my leg, but I guess that’s more of a story for a different time. So, yeah. That’s, um… that’s that, I guess.”

Sam took a long, shaky breath after he was finished, and Gabriel cursed the fact that he was stuck in the chair, so it took a minute to maneuver himself so he could move over to where Sam was and hug him.

Gabe rubbed slow circles onto his back, and did his best to ignore the tears that were filling his own eyes. 

He tried to take in all the information he could at once, and he realized that now he had an even stronger admiration for Sam, and for his family, than he had before. How someone could go through that, especially so young, was heartbreaking.

Sam pulled back eventually, wiping his sleeve across his face, and huffing out a laugh, which had absolutely no amusement behind it. 

“Sorry for ruining the evening. I thought I could handle that better, but apparently not, huh?”

“No, please don’t apologize, that was… I’m really glad you told me that. Thank you for letting me know.” Gabriel was in one of his very rare states, where he was being nothing but serious and honest. He was almost unrecognizable.

Sam gave him a watery smile, and he looked so grateful that Gabriel’s heart broke just a little bit more.

“And besides, you didn’t ruin the evening at all. We’ve still got dessert” Gabe said, hoping to lighten the mood a little. It proved effective, because Sam retrieved an entire bowl of mousse from the fridge and turned to him with a hint of a smile, even though his eyes were still red.

“Okay, now, uh, we have two options here.” Sam set the bowl down on the table as he spoke. “Option one, I get us some bowls, and serve this up in reasonable portions, like the civil human being I pretend to be. Option two, I grab a couple of spoons, and we eat our hearts out until this thing is licked clean.”

Gabe laughed, letting Sam know that the latter option was more than okay by him, and Sam opened up a drawer and presented him with a spoon, sitting closer so that they could share the bowl.

They finished eating a few minutes later, and even though he knew that this was probably going to make him sick, Gabriel decided that it was more than worth it. The dessert was almost as good as the spaghetti had been, and he wondered if Sam would be willing to give his brother some cooking lessons. Cas could certainly use the help.

They put their spoons in the now empty bowl, and when he looked back, Sam was grinning at him, like there was some sort of joke, and Gabe was the punchline.

“What?” he asked defensively, but without taking real offense.

“You have a little….” Sam gestured to the side of his mouth, and apparently Gabriel had reached for the wrong one, because Sam just shook his head and leaned in.

“Here, let me.”

With no hesitation, Sam just leaned in and proceeded to lick the chocolate off of his face, taking his time to make sure he did a thorough job.

Gabriel smirked at him, earning a wink in response.

“Are you sure you’ve got it all?” Gabe asked, hoping that he would say no.

Sam leaned back in, capturing his lips, and Gabe could still taste the chocolate in his mouth. 

Gabriel kissed back earnestly, tugging on Sam’s lip with his teeth a little and running a hand up his thigh.

They finally pulled back, and Sam shifted a little before getting up and clearing the table, presenting the perfect opportunity to look at his butt, which Gabriel took full advantage of. 

Once Sam was done, he offered to take Gabriel home, unless he wanted to stay longer. It was around eight, but that didn’t mean he had to leave quite yet, so Gabe chose to stick around, at least for a bit. 

After they moved into the living room, Sam spoke again, mindlessly rubbing Gabriel’s hand with his fingers.

“So, now you have some idea of what my family’s like. Would you tell me more about yours?”

He asked it in such a polite way, it would’ve been impossible to refuse.

“Well, my parents are both alive, and you know Cas is my only sibling. What else would you like to know?”

Sam stopped moving his hand for a minute and thought, before coming up with a more specific question.

“Did you grow up here?” 

It was so simple that it caught Gabe off guard. After what Sam himself had shared, he’d expected the questions to be deeper. Not that it was a problem if they weren’t.

“No, actually. I grew up in Maine, and then I came down here when Cas did for school, because he didn’t know anyone. I didn’t need to stay in place for work, and it sounded like a nice change of scenery.”

Sam nodded, running his empty hand through his hair. “So, where do you prefer? Here or there?”

“I think I like Minnesota better.” Gabriel answered without much thought. “I’d always talked about going somewhere warmer, but I guess that didn’t really happen.” As a kid, Gabe had told everyone that someday, he was going to get out of Maine and move somewhere sunny, with lots of beaches. He laughed now just thinking about it.

“What does your dad do?” Gabriel asked. He knew that Dean was an electrical engineer, but he never caught Sam’s father’s occupation.

“Well, now he’s retired, but he used to work at a gun shop just north of the city. It was actually a pretty dangerous job, I suppose, but nothing bad ever happened there. How about yours?”

“My dad’s retired, too, but my mom still works part time as a nurse. Probably just to get away from him for a few hours a day.”

“Do they not get along?” Sam looked confused, and it was kind of adorable.

“Not exactly. My dad can be a little bit… _difficult._ ”

He shrugged. Sometimes, he really did wonder why his parents were still married, when he’d known since he was a kid that they weren’t really in love. He was sure that, at some point, they were head over heels for each other, but that had faded over time, and he never really saw any of the signs.

“Yeah, so can mine,” Sam answered, although there was still a fondness on his face, showing that all was forgiven in the Winchester family. Gabe would have envied having that kind of relationship with his father, but he would still take his own childhood over Sam’s.

-

They talked about their parents and families for a while after that, until Gabriel yawned, and Sam mentioned that it was probably getting pretty late.

He dished up some leftovers, so that Gabe could return with at least enough to last him and Cas another meal or two. That hot dish was not an adequate meal.

They held hands again on the way back, and Gabe made Sam give him a quick kiss goodbye before he left, assuring that he would text soon.

-

Cas was watching TV when he came in, and he only looked up briefly to wave at Sam before returning to the program.

“Another nice date?”

“It was great. Sam’s… really great.”

Cas nodded, not paying much attention. Meanwhile, Gabriel’s head was spinning. The fact that Sam trusted him enough to share that was… overwhelming. Were they moving too fast?

x x x

Sam could still remember everything about his mother, even if he pretended not to sometimes.

He could still smell her strawberry shampoo if he tried hard enough. Could still picture her hair ties scattered and strewn throughout the house. He could still hear her laugh, ringing through the air like church bells.

Mary Winchester was beautiful. She had the softest skin, and shiny cream-colored hair, sweeping down around her gentle face.

She had the bluest eyes. They were the same color as faded denim, indigo with greyish flecks. He’d always wished that he could’ve had his mother’s eyes. Really, he wished that he could have looked like her at all.

Sam knew it was selfish, but he was still jealous that Dean got so many of their mother’s features. He had her face, but with green eyes and freckles. Sometimes, he even had her same laugh.

At least Sam was as much like Mary as his brother, personality wise. She was bright, and determined, and the kind of person that could just light up a room. Sam always beamed when relatives compared him to her, even if it made him miss her more. It was an honor, in his opinion, to be at all like her.

He would never forget, on the ten year anniversary of her death, hearing his dad say how proud she would’ve been of him and Dean.

She was one of those people that touched the hearts of everyone who ever met her. There must have been hundreds at her funeral, maybe over a thousand. He remembered sitting there with Dean, in their tiny tailored suits, trying not to cry while they heard story after story of how amazing she had been in life.

John took them out of Kansas pretty quickly after that. None of the three of them could stand to live there anymore. Too many haunting memories, too many things that they weren’t ready to face again yet.

And John Winchester, for all his faults, had tried to do the best for them. When Sam said that John could be difficult, he knew it was only because of how much he cared. Even as a kid, Sam always knew that the odds were against them, with John’s long hours, and living in the inner city. But John worked his ass off for years, keeping food on the table and his sons off the streets. He hadn’t been able to finish high school himself, and he wanted better for them. He cheered louder than anyone else’s parents at their graduations. Afterwards, in a sentence that was almost too sentimental to be real, John said that it was because he was cheering for two.

School had been rough, but it wasn’t like Sam hadn’t handled worse. When he went back, he was in third grade, and Dean was in seventh. Their school was a combined elementary and junior high, so at least his brother was still there if Sam needed him, for the first couple of years.

He hadn’t exactly been flaunting the prosthetic or anything. Sam was still self conscious, and he never wore shorts, even in summer. Still, he outgrew clothes faster than they could afford to replace them, and he was still a little awkward on the leg, which made it pretty hard to hide. As soon as kids found out, they started bombarding Sam with questions, which he usually refused to answer. Despite his best efforts, by the end of the first week of school, his entire grade knew that he’d lost his leg, and there were apparently several stories circulating about how it had happened. He eventually based his own false account, with the bear trap, after one he’d overheard in the cafeteria.

-

As a child, Sam’s best friends had always been the other misfits because they’d understood him better. There was Andy, who was nice enough, but had some serious mental health issues for a while. Amelia had home problems, and she rarely opened up, so Sam had gravitated to her more slowly, and eventually, they became great friends. Ruby was one of the least damaged of his group, although she had her own share of inner demons as well. The truth was, the more fucked up you were, the better you seemed to get along with Sam Winchester.

The only major exception to this rule had been Jo, since she’d been almost like a relative growing up. Despite being almost entirely normal, she and Sam were close all throughout his life. John had a history with Jo’s mother, Ellen, which had been a major deciding factor for moving to Minnesota instead of somewhere else. Ellen, along with John’s friend Bobby Singer, proved to be godsends over the years, taking on almost parental roles for Sam and Dean when John wasn’t always able to.

Jo had actually been a lot like Mary, too. John always said that she was. She was a year younger than Sam, and one of the liveliest people ever put on this earth, with a fierce attitude, and no fear of speaking her mind. She’d been hustling pool at the bar since high school, and the regulars there all had a mean respect for the girl. You couldn’t say a bad word about Jo Harvelle.

Ash had been working at Ellen’s bar since before he turned sixteen, just cleaning and serving food, before he was legally allowed to serve liquor. Sam just appreciated his laid back attitude, and the fact that he didn’t care one way or another about where people came from. That was the main reason Sam had felt okay telling him about their history.

-

Retelling things to Gabriel, he realized how truly blessed he had been to have such supportive people in his life, even if what he had gone through sucked. He came out on the other side alright. He wasn’t really that damaged, in the end. Just a little bruised, is all.

There had been plenty of times in his life when Sam couldn’t figure out why it had been him. Why this all had to happen to _his_ family. They hadn’t done anything to deserve this, and it just wasn’t fair. He never voiced these thoughts, but it was only natural to have them. Being able to see it all clearly now, however, Sam knew that he’d become a better person for all his suffering. For all the burdens that had been laid upon him, it only made him stronger in the end.

People had always assumed that he wanted to become a physical therapist because he’d had an inspiring one as a kid, when in fact, the opposite was true. His had always pushed too hard, hoping that if patients showed more progress, she’d get paid more. The truth was, there had never been enough money to raise her salary, even if she’d deserved it. No, Sam decided to become a therapist because he loved helping people. Even though it seems like he needed the help more than anyone, he’d still always looked out for others. It was just another trait he shared with his mother. Taking care of people was second nature to him, and this seemed like the best way to help, because he had experience here. He could relate to what patients were going through.

Telling Gabriel everything wasn’t like it had been telling Ash or Charlie. For some reason, this time was more significant, more intimate. Sam had thought out his word choice in advance, but he hadn’t accounted for the way he would feel once he was actually delivering it. He certainly hadn’t planned on crying, although he should’ve known better, on that account.

Gabe was incredibly understanding and he didn’t interrupt, which had definitely made things easier. Sam figured that saying all of this was probably pushing the boundaries of a second date, but then again, there were some couples who would already be sleeping together by now, so this wasn’t _that_ drastic.

Afterwards, it was almost like a weight had been lifted off of his chest, but he still didn’t want that to be the ending point of their night. If he hadn’t scared Gabe off by now, than the guy was probably never going to leave. At least, Sam certainly hoped not.

There was still dessert in the fridge and, at the moment, chocolate didn’t sound like the worst idea.

-

Finding out that Gabe and Cas were from Maine had been a bit of a surprise, but then again, Sam hadn’t mentioned being from Kansas, either. He just kind of assumed that most people stayed where they were from, with few exceptions.

He was a little sad to hear that Gabriel’s parents weren’t exactly a happy couple. At least when both of his own parents had been alive, they’d been in love. Hell, he’d never seen two people more in love in his life. In school, plenty of kids parents were divorced, but Sam knew that if Mary hadn’t died, his own wouldn’t be among that group.

From what he could tell, Gabe and Cas had always been really close, from pretty much childhood. The fact that he’d really only moved here because of where Cas wanted to go to school had solidified the impression, because how many people are willing to pack up their things and move halfway across the country because their sibling was going to be alone without them?

Sam was also excited to get to know Cas better. Aside from his cooking challenges, he seemed like a really nice guy—he must’ve been, to mean so much to Gabriel—and it sounded like they were going to get along just fine.

He really had wanted to hear more about Gabriel, but it was getting fairly late and he didn’t want to make things awkward. Instead, Sam just dished up some leftovers and drove him home. 

-

When he got back, Sam decided to take the lazy way out, and leave all of the dishes for morning. As it happened, Dean called shortly after to ask how things had been, anyway.

“So, was he as impressed by your cooking as he should have been?” Dean asked, after they’d said their ‘hello’s and ‘how are you?’s.

“I think so, yeah. He sure acted like it.”

“That’s good. I assume you left some for your favorite brother, too?”

Sam rolled his eyes. He _always_ made enough spaghetti for Dean. Tonight was no different.

“Yeah, yeah. I suppose that it’s about time you came over for dinner, anyhow.”

Dean chuckled a little while he replied. “So how was everything else? What’d you guys talk about?”

Sam bit his lip. He had thought about consulting Dean first, before spilling everything, but he’d assumed that Dean would’ve just advised him not to do it, and he’d already made up his mind by then. “I told him.”

“Told him what?” Dean sounded genuinely confused, like there was actually an abundance of things that Sam could be referring to.

“About my leg, and mom. You know, the fire and everything.”

It was quiet, and Sam wasn’t sure what Dean was thinking about until he spoke, his voice softer and quieter.

“And how did that go?”

“Honestly? Even better than I expected. He was pretty understanding about the whole thing. I think it went a lot easier than I could’ve hoped for.”

Dean barely paused at all now. “I’m happy for you, Sammy. Sounds like you really found a keeper.” 

“It’s kinda crazy to be thinking that after the second actual date, but I gotta say, I agree.” Sam was worried he was getting into this way over his head, but from everything he could tell, so was Gabriel. So much for not wearing his heart on his sleeve, huh?

“Alright, well, be careful with things. He does sound like a decent guy, though.” Dean was just being an older brother now, telling Sam to be cautious. 

“Yeah, I will. And he is. I think it’s getting kinda late, I should probably let you go.” Sam glanced at the clock, confirming that it was already after eleven.

“Okay. Night, kid. And save me some of that food!”

“Night, Dean.”

After hanging up, Sam didn’t get up right away to shower or go to bed, but instead just sat there for a while, thinking. 

Now that it was over and done with, he was still glad that Gabriel knew, but at the same time, it was like… that was it. Sure, there were still things about Sam that Gabe didn’t know, but that was the biggest thing. It was sort of scary, that someone who he’d only known for a few weeks had already learned so much about him.

With that thought, he also started to feel like he barely knew about Gabriel at all. Sure, Gabe probably didn’t have anything that major to tell, but there were still all sorts of things Sam wanted to get to know about him. 

He couldn’t tell if Gabriel just wasn’t an open person, or if he just needed to ask more, but either way, he hoped that on their next date, he would get to hear more about the other man’s life. After all, he liked everything he’d learned so far.

 

When he finally stood up and stretched, he groaned at the sight of the kitchen. It was sort of a wreck, with dishes piled high in the sink, and the garbage completely full. Still, he could at least leave the clean up until the next morning. There were more important things he could be doing at the moment. Sleeping, for example. Everything else could wait.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been over a month since the accident, and Gabriel was finally able to feel his legs constantly. Instead of fading in and out like it had in the beginning, now sensation was permanent. Aside from that, however, he had yet to see any real progress, which was a little disheartening.

Technically, Gabriel knew he was lucky to have had _any_ recovery, but it still would’ve been encouraging for something else to happen. He was starting to worry that the movement part wouldn’t come back at all. And then he’d _never_ get to sleep with Sam.

-

Gabe kept his promise about texting Sam more after their date, and sent him a good morning message as soon as he woke up the next day.

_Happy NOT Valentine’s day_

Gabriel was so, incredibly, tempted to add a ‘babe’ or a ‘sunshine’, or something to that extent, but he wasn’t sure if it was too soon for that. Apparently, it was not.

**_You too, babe_ **

He grinned, just about to respond when his phone buzzed again with a ‘correction.’

**_Whoops, *Gabe ;)_ **

And yet, Gabe had a sneaking suspicion that the typo hadn’t been so “accidental.”

_How are you, BABE?_

Gabe replied, once again cursing the fact that you couldn’t text in italics. Phone companies really needed to get their shit together. Before he could finish the thought, his phone buzzed again.

_**I’m doing just swell. Well, aside from the mountain of dishes, but that’s alright. How are you?** _

Gabe replied that he was doing well too, and that Cas had said thank you for the leftovers. They chatted for a few minutes before Sam informed him that he had to go take Lyla for a walk, and they said their goodbyes.

-

Monday morning rolled around, and Gabriel knew that he would be seeing him again in a couple of days, but it was still nice to find a new message from Sam when he woke up. Not just any message either, but a picture. A picture that Gabriel was considering having framed.

The picture was timestamped at 3 am, and going by Sam’s face, he looked like it. He was laying in bed, wearing bright blue pajama pants and an undershirt, with bedhead making his hair stick out in every direction but down. Next to him lay a big, sleepy german shepherd, who had stolen all of the blankets, and was looking rather proud of herself. 

Lyla was adorable for sure, but Gabe couldn’t help thinking that Sam might have had her beat for cuteness. Gabriel hoped that maybe some day, he’d get to see that lovely scene in person. He saved the picture, smiling at what an absolute dork Sam was. 

-

The two managed to make time to talk almost every day that week, if only for a few minutes. Even if the conversations were short, they were easily becoming some of Gabe’s favorite moments of the day. Gabriel also sent a few pictures of his own, mostly of himself, struggling to do basic things. Every single one was captioned “wheelchair problems,” and he wondered after about the fourth if Sam was starting to get annoyed. If he was, he hadn’t said anything yet.

When Thursday came around, Gabe was practically bursting at the seams to leave for therapy. As soon as he and Sam got back into the office, where they had at least moderate privacy, Gabe was grabbing Sam’s shirt to pull him down to his level for a kiss. 

“I see you’re in a good mood.” Sam laughed as he pulled back and straightened up again, tugging his shirt back down as well.

“Maybe. It doesn’t mean it’s because of you, though,” Gabe said, with a wink that suggested otherwise.

“Oh, but doesn’t it? Sorry, _babe,_ but I’m pretty sure it does.” Sam smirked, dimples just barely showing.

Gabe just smiled at him, shaking his head over how cocky Sam sounded. It wasn’t typical of him, but he acted fairly confident.

Sam turned to grab the things they needed for therapy, so that he could actually start doing his job.

Finally, he started guiding Gabriel through his exercises, but the flirting only picked up from there. Gabe managed to get a handful of Sam’s ass at one point, and he’d been worried about overstepping when Sam jumped back suddenly, but that fear faded as quickly as it had come. Sam tried to scowl at him, but there was a glimmer in his eyes, and he couldn’t even hold the frown for very long.

“You jerk. I hope you know that as soon as it’s possible, I _will_ be getting revenge.” It sounded like Sam was putting all of his effort into making it sound threatening.

Gabe just rolled his eyes and proceeded to grab Sam’s hips and pull him closer again. Sam was all too eager to comply.

“Well, I’ll be looking forward to it.”

By the time the session was coming to a close, Gabe was sort of surprised that neither of them would be leaving with hickies. So much for keeping it classy while Sam was at work, huh?

-

The next day, Gabriel was just minding his own business, sitting out on Cas’ balcony working, when some melting snow from the balcony above started dripping down onto his feet. He could feel the water starting to soak through his sock, and he took it off, wiggling his toes a bit.

It took him a second to realize what was happening, and as soon as he did, Gabriel immediately reached for his phone and pulled up the keypad.

The first call that he made was to his brother, who didn’t even pick up until the fifth ring. Gabe decided to play with him a little bit before telling him, because messing with Cas was one of his favorite things to do, and he would take any opportunity to do so.

“What’s up?” Cas sounded a little aggravated, but it might not have been directed at Gabriel. Not yet, anyway.

“Oh, not much. Just calling to check in.”

He could hear Cas adjusting the phone to hold it between his ear and shoulder, and there might have been a frustrated sigh in there, too, if he hadn’t just imagined it.

“Seriously? You know, I am a little busy right now. Is that all you called about? I saw you, like, four hours ago.” And now Cas was starting to lose his patience a bit. Gabe smiled to himself.

Gabriel knew that he probably should’ve felt bad about interrupting Cas at work, but oh well. He was in too good a mood.

“It might not be.”

Gabe decided to cut his charade a little short, but mostly it was just because he was too excited to tell Cas the news. If he had the patience himself, Gabriel could’ve dragged this out another half an hour.

“Well, what else did you want?” Cas still sounded annoyed, but hopefully he wouldn’t be too mad, once he heard the good news.

“I just thought that it might be nice to tell you something, but with that attitude, now I’m _toeing_ the line of just hanging up.” Gabe laughed at his own joke, but his brother didn’t seem to find it so amusing.

“ _Gabriel?_ ”

“Cas, man, I can move! Well, I mean, only sort of, but still!”

He could faintly hear Cas drop something, followed by a muttered ‘shit’ while he must have bent down to pick it up.

“Oh my god! That’s great! I mean, not that I ever lost faith in you, but still. This is fantastic!”

“I know! I’ll be walking in no time.”

“Yeah, no doubt…” Cas paused and said something to a coworker that Gabe couldn’t hear, but it sounded urgent. “Listen, Gabriel, I’m really happy, but I was actually being serious when I said that I was busy, so I gotta go in like a minute. Do you wanna go get dinner later to celebrate? I was gonna make meatloaf, but this is a good enough reason to go out, I think.”

As “tempting” as Cas’ meatloaf sounded, a celebratory dinner would probably be a lot better. Gabriel felt sorry for the poor cow that was sacrificed to make _that_ monstrosity.

“Sounds good to me. Okay, well, have fun at work. See you later!”

“Bye!”

Almost as soon as Cas hung up, Gabe was typing up a message to Sam. He didn’t think that he should call Sam during work, but he still wanted to tell him, and he couldn’t wait until later.

_Hey, guess what?_

He was trying to write out the full story, so it took a minute, and in the middle of typing, his phone started ringing. Sam was calling.

“Hey, Gabe. I just started break, and I saw your text. What’s up?”

“Oh, I was just gonna tell you—I can move! Kind of!”

He could hear Sam’s smile when he spoke next.

“Really? Damn, I’m gonna have to rework next week’s plan. This is awesome!”

“Well, at the moment, it’s only my toes, but, I don’t even care right now. I’m still just… well, you know.” Gabe was struggling to articulate just how ecstatic he was currently feeling, but he hoped Sam understood that.

“Yeah. Oh man, that’s great. And it also sounds like maybe I’ll be getting my payback sooner than later.” Sam punctuated the thought with a rather ominous laugh.

For once in his life, Gabe hadn’t even been thinking of things in a dirty way. But oh god, now he was for sure. Sam’s statement had also reminded him—not exactly on the same subject, but in the same region—hopefully Gabe would be able to go to the bathroom normally soon, too. There were _endless_ benefits to this development.

“That’s all right. I’ve got more tricks up my sleeve than you’re giving me credit for.” Gabriel had to abandon his train of thought to respond.

“Do you now?” Sam asked, although it was more of a challenge than a question. A challenge that Gabriel was more than willing to take on.

“You’d better believe it, babe.” He was gonna have to start preparing now for the next time he and Sam were alone together. 

“I’ll be waiting, then. I hope you don’t disappoint.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it. Okay, well, that’s all I really had to say, so I’m gonna go now. Text me after work?”

Gabriel felt a little awkward making the request, but if he didn’t ask, then he probably wouldn’t be talking to Sam again until morning, and for some reason, that seemed like too long.

“Sure. All right, bye. Oh, and congrats again on the legs!”

-

He’d forgotten about going out to dinner with Cas, so he only got to talk to Sam for a few minutes before they left, but it was still nice to hear how his day was and just say hello. It was funny how, when you were in a relationship with someone, even the most mundane things were interesting. _Was this really a relationship? It must have been, right? Maybe?_

He and Cas wound up at a cute little diner on the other side of the city, mostly because it boasted great burgers and malts, and Gabe was completely on board for a real dinner, as opposed to “meatloaf.”

“So, you didn’t exactly tell me what happened earlier. What was the whole story? How did it happen? And specifically, what _was_ it that happened? All you told me over the phone was that you could move.” Cas was almost as enthusiastic as Gabriel was himself, so he retold the story again, in all its thrilling detail, while his younger brother hung onto every word.

-

The dinner was great, and Gabe was happy that he was able to leave the apartment more these days. He was never typically keen on going out, especially in the winter, but this was confining even for him, and he’d been going stir crazy from the start. Aside from therapy and the dates, tonight was one of the first times he’d been out in weeks. 

“Have you told mom and dad yet?” Cas asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Oh! Uh, no, actually. I’ve only told you and Sam so far.”

Cas lips turned down a little when he heard Sam’s name.

“What? Don’t get all jealous, I still told you first.” 

“No, it’s not that, it’s just… you guys are getting pretty close, I think, and I still haven’t really met him yet. I’d like to.”

For as many times as Gabriel had said Sam and Cas should meet, he had yet to get them together, and he probably ought to. He hadn’t met Dean yet, either, and he wanted to. Cas was right, he and Sam were sort of becoming a thing.

“Well, maybe if you’re free tomorrow night, we could have him over? I know he said he wanted to get to know you better, too.” Gabe hadn’t spoken to Sam about getting together the next night yet, but he hoped the other man didn’t already have plans.

Cas smiled then, taking another bite of his burger and nodding.

“Yeah, that works for me.”

-

It would be nice to have Sam over, and it was kind of Gabe’s turn to host anyway. He asked Sam what time would work the next morning, and Sam helped him plan the evening, saying that it sounded like a great idea.

So it was settled, then. Sam was going to meet his brother, and they could hang out and tell stories and do whatever for the night. 

Gabriel thought that he should probably let Cas know not to ask Sam about the leg thing. It wasn’t likely that he would have anyway, but better safe than sorry. Just taking precautions.

-

Though he may not have been as wonderful a cook as Sam was, Gabriel did know how to bake, so he could at least make a cake or something. Maybe he could even frost it with the words “Sorry about the dinner. Cas made it, not me.”

Then again, instead of Cas cooking something, maybe they could just order a pizza. In fact, that would be less embarrassing for them all. Gabe would have to remember to buy beer too, and maybe they could rent a movie or something. 

He was excited to introduce the two, but he was also nervous now. Gabriel knew that things were going to be just fine, and they were all probably going to have a great time, but he still worried about what Sam would think of their place, and he didn’t want things to get awkward, and he had a terrible habit of severely over thinking things. One of his only flaws. It was a good thing that they’d planned it sort of last minute, because that gave him less time to fret over every little detail that could go wrong. 

-

Gabe was a little disappointed, just because having Cas there would meant that they probably couldn’t get up to much in the way of kissing, but he wasn’t an animal. If necessary, he was capable of controlling his urges.

He had to laugh when he got a text from Sam that afternoon, asking how he should act around Cas. It was cute that he was trying so hard about this. It was also a great comfort to Gabriel, knowing that he wasn’t the only one who was a little on the paranoid side. He and Sam really were a nice match.

When he got the second message, shortly after, and Sam told him he was on his way up, Gabe smiled and let Cas know that Sam would be there any minute. 

Gabriel tried not to laugh when Sam sent another message, asking for Cas’ full name, not sure if he could address him by the nickname.. The poor kid sounded _way_ more nervous than he had reason to be.

-

Gabe straightened up when he heard Sam knocking, and he was happy to note that Sam didn’t look half as nervous as he’d sounded. It was still kind of funny, in his opinion, that  
_anyone_ could be nervous about meeting Cas. 

He could tell that Sam still wasn’t completely relaxed at first. However, it seemed like after a few minutes of talking to Cas, almost every trace of anxiety was gone from his features. Soon he was laughing alongside them both.

x x x

Dean made it over to Sam’s place around 5:30 on Sunday, where he was greeted before he ever reached the door by the smell of pasta sauce and garlic bread. It always smelled better the second day, once the spices had had a chance to set in. If they made candles out of that smell, Dean would buy every single one.

Without knocking, he let himself in, greeting Sam with a rather loud “Honey, I’m home!” Before sitting at the table, Lyla walking over to see him.

Sam scoffed at him, not even turning around from the pot he was stirring.

“What’s new? How’re things with you and the Mr.?” Dean asked, despite having just talked to Sam about Gabriel _yesterday_.

“Dean, I told you to stop referring to my boyfriends like that. It’s weird.” Sam knew even as he said it, that this was far from the last time his brother would use the phrase. Knowing it bugged Sam generally just egged Dean on more.

“Fine, fine, whatever. How’s Gabe?”

“He’s lovely.” Sam continued heating up the food, and he didn’t turn to talk to Dean, but he could hear him lean back in the chair, probably putting his feet on Sam’s clean table.

“God, I still can’t believe you already told him about mom and everything. You’ve known this guy for what, a month? That’s, uh, pretty sudden, don’t you think? I mean, I know that you said you were cool with it, but still… wow.”

Sam knew that Dean was trying not to overreact, but he wasn’t doing the greatest job.

“Dean, I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions, and if I get hurt, it’s not really your problem. I wanted to tell him, and I think it was the right choice.” Sam finally turned to look at his brother, a hint of frustration in his eyes. It wasn’t like he was some little kid that needed looking after.

Dean put his hands up like he was surrendering, shaking his head a little.

“I didn’t say it wasn’t your choice. But, whether you like it or not, you getting hurt is _always_ my problem, just so you know.”

Having an overprotective older brother had stopped being cool after middle school, but Sam knew that he’d probably be putting up with this treatment for the rest of his life. It was part of Dean’s nature.

“Well, either way, you don’t have to worry about it. He was great. Honestly, I can’t wait for you to meet him. I think you guys will get along just fine.” 

“I hope so. I’m glad that you guys are happy.” Dean still sounded a little cautious, but it seemed like he was willing to drop the subject for now.

“Thank you. Anyways, enough about me and Gabriel, that’s all we ever talk about lately. How’s work and everything?”

“Work is good. No HR incidents since we got the printers, either. You should be proud.” Dean smirked, clearly remembering Sam’s warning about making “inappropriate” objects with his company’s 3D printers.

“Is it sad that I kind of am? I mean, for you, that’s impressive.”

Sam smirked, dishing up their food and giving Dean about two and a half servings worth. He would’ve put more, but the bowls were only so big.

“Whatever. Anyways, they also said that someone has to go on a week long business trip to Chicago this summer, and apparently, I’m eligible.” Dean was already twirling the noodles around his fork, even though steam was still billowing off of them.

“That’s cool. I mean, it’s still a business trip, but who cares?” Sam sometimes envied the fact that his brother’s job allowed him to travel more, but even with its downsides, Sam wouldn’t trade his job for any other.

Dean, with his abundance of manners, was not opposed to replying even while he ate, mainly because he didn’t want to _stop_ eating.

“Exactly. We only have to talk to clients three times, but they’re spread out over a full week, so whoever goes will just be staying in the city, with lots of downtime. Company pays for meals, hotels, everything.”

-

Conversation dwindled as they ate, Dean ravaging his way through his bowlful, then seconds, then just a little bit more.

By the time they were finished eating and chatting and teasing each other, it was pitch black out, and nearly nine o’clock. Since they both had work all too early in the morning, Dean said his goodbyes and left, and Sam, once again, had a pile of dishes that needed to be washed. Funny how his brother never seemed to stick around long enough to help with the cleanup.

-

The rest of Sam’s week proved fairly uneventful, save for some wonderful texts exchanged with Gabriel. One favorite in particular was a picture that showed Gabriel struggling to reach for a box of Lucky Charms that were on top of the fridge. Cas had probably put them there intentionally, not trusting his brother’s self control when it came to sugar. Still, Sam sympathized with Gabriel’s attempts. 

The next day at Walgreens, Sam happened to find one of those extendable claw things for ten bucks, so he bought it as a joke. Unfortunately, he didn’t realize he’d forgotten it at home until after he was already at work on Thursday. He’d have to remember to give it to Gabriel later.

-

Therapy had gotten more and more heated every session, it seemed, and they would have to stop that in its tracks before he got caught making out on the job, or worse.

There was kissing and touching, and entirely too much flirting, and Gabriel was acting like a teenager, grabbing Sam’s hips and his ass and basically anything he could reach. It was both fantastic and horrible, mostly because Sam really couldn’t get much in the way of payback. That didn’t stop him from trying though. He still managed to get Gabe’s attention and hold it, by taking his precious time repositioning him on more than one occasion. Some day, Gabe would get exactly what was coming to him.

Through all their mindless teasing, time went by easily, and all too soon, Sam was helping Gabe get back into that ridiculous little compact. Cas really needed a new car.

They hadn’t planned a date for this weekend, but Gabriel hadn’t brought it up, either, so he figured that he probably just had other plans. It was a little disappointing, but it wasn’t like they never saw each other, and he was probably getting clingy. They weren’t even officially boyfriends or anything yet.

-

The next day during a break, Sam had to wonder what was going on when Gabriel sent him a text that just said “guess what?”

Instead of waiting for another message, he just thought it would be easier to call him.

Gabe sounded really excited when he answered, so at least Sam knew that it was good news that he was about to hear.

“What’s up?” Sam was glad that whatever Gabe had to say was good news.

Hearing that Gabriel could move, even if it was only a little, was far bigger than Sam had been expecting. He would have to rearrange their therapy plans for the following week to accommodate, but he was more than okay with that. This was incredible. 

After congratulating him, Sam had to get back to work for a couple more patients, before he got to go home and call it a week. The last couple of sessions went by quickly, and then he was done, for at least a few days. Ah, sweet freedom.

-

When Gabriel asked him the next morning if he wanted to come over that evening and meet Cas, Sam was more than a little anxious about making a good impression. He also knew that he couldn’t turn the offer down, though, and he reminded himself that this was something he wanted to do. Hadn’t he been upset just yesterday that he wasn’t getting together with Gabriel this weekend? He was going to have to meet Cas at some point, and this was as good a time as any. Plus, if he was going to make Gabe meet Dean, then it was only fair.

He really didn’t even have anything to be concerned about, but he just wanted Gabe’s brother to like him. Sam had no idea why he was so scared that Cas wouldn’t, but he was. Sam wasn’t always good with new people, and he certainly wasn’t comfortable when he first met someone. Gabe was a bit of an anomaly, in those respects. Sam knew that he was being ridiculous. He was just going to suck it up and get over his stupid anxiety, because this was going to happen eventually, and he was twenty seven years old. He could handle this. 

-

He changed his mind about the outfit at least three times before finally getting dressed, and about half an hour before he was supposed to be there, Sam caved and texted Gabriel.

_Hey. Just wondering if there was anything I should or shouldn’t do tonight?_

He drummed his fingers against the phone for a few minutes before he got a response.

**_Sam, I told you, there’s no pressure here. Cas isn’t someone you need to worry about. It’ll be fine. You’d better be here on time though, we ordered pizza._ **

Sam was glad to hear that he wouldn’t have to try Cas’ cooking tonight, at least.

Finally, he sucked it up, grabbed the stupid claw thing he’d bought, and got his keys, promising Lyla he’d be back in a few hours. He spent the entire car ride there rehearsing how he was going to introduce himself, since he’d already sort of done that the first time Gabriel had therapy. Still, that had been weeks ago, and since then all he’d said to Cas was hello.

By the time he was making the final turn onto their street, Sam had narrowed it down to either “Sam Winchester, nice to see you again,” which was kind of formal, or just “Hi, Cas,” because he pretty much assumed that Cas already knew his name. 

Come to think of it, he didn’t even know _Cas’_ name, or at least the whole thing. He remembered Gabe telling him that Cas was a nickname for something, but he didn’t know what.

Sam parked the car and sent another message while he made his way to the elevator.

_What’s your brother’s full name again? I don’t want to call him Cas if that’s not what he goes by_

Sam felt a little stupid for asking, but he figured that he probably ought to know, so that he could address him by that. After all, Sam wasn’t sure if he actually called himself Cas, or if that’s just what Gabe called him, like how Dean was the only person who got to call Sam “Sammy.”

**_It’s Castiel, like cast-ee-yell._ **

**_And don’t text and drive._ **

Sam rolled his eyes, pressing the button on the elevator, before remembering how slow it was, and turning for the stairs.

_I wasn’t driving. I’m on my way up now. Thanks._

**_See you soon!_ **

Sam climbed the final flight of stairs and looked for their number before finding it and walking over. 

Taking a deep breath, with the claw held in his other hand, he raised his fist to knock.

Cas - well, _Castiel_ \- answered with a smile. Sam tried not to notice how much Cas’ eye’s reminded him of Mary’s, now that he was seeing them up close. They were pretty intense.

“Hi, Sam. Come on in.”

“Hi, Castiel. Thank you for having me over.”

“Of course, I’m glad to finally meet you. And please, it’s Cas” he replied, smiling.

Sam relaxed a little when he saw Gabriel on the couch. He walked over and held out the gift for him.

“I got this for you. I, uh, figured it might help.” Sam handed over the claw with a half smile.

Not only did Gabe laugh, but so did Cas, and already Sam was feeling far more at ease here.

Cas offered him a beer, which he accepted, sitting down next to Gabriel on the couch.

-

The three of them joked around, not talking much about anything, until the pizza came, and Cas had to get up and go pay.

Gabe kissed Sam quick before he came back, asking him to grab a few slices of pepperoni while he was up.

Sam went into the kitchen, and Cas handed him a couple of plates, reassuring him that it was fine to eat in the living room.

Gabe thanked him as he handed him the pizza, Sam once again taking his seat. 

“So, Gabe said you work at the bookstore?” Sam asked, setting down his food to make conversation. This was, after all, about getting to know Cas.

“Yes. I’m the assistant manager, but I much prefer writing books than selling them.”

“Really? That’s interesting. What do you write?”

“Mostly realistic fiction, or creative non fiction. Nothing’s exactly been published yet, but I still do it in my free time.” Cas sounded a tiny bit uncomfortable talking about his writing, but Sam could’ve been imagining it.

“Even so, that’s cool. I read constantly, but I’m not a great writer myself. I don’t really have the patience for it, I don’t think.” Sam could see Gabriel smiling, and he assumed it must have been because they were getting along. 

“Honestly, I usually don’t either, but I still try to most days. What’s your job like? It sounds interesting.” Cas seemed to take a genuine interest when people spoke to him. It was nice to feel like you had someone’s undivided attention.

Sam laughed about the comment on his job. _Oh, it was interesting, alright._

“Yeah, it’s something.”

Cas tilted his head in confusion, taking another bite.

Sam launched into some of the accident stories he’d heard over the years. It was astounding, some of the ways people managed to wind up with injuries.

Gabriel shared some stories from work as well, involving some of the many interesting businesses he’d been hired to make sites for. Cas also had some cringe worthy tales about working in customer service, and by the time everyone was on their second beer, the apartment was nothing but giggles. Half of the time, at least one member of the party was crying from laughter.

Sam was suddenly very, very, glad that he’d come, even if he hadn’t been so sure about it at first. He was having a fantastic time, and Gabe was absolutely right about him and Cas getting along. He was certainly enjoying the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback, anybody?


	8. Chapter 8

That coming week in therapy, Sam and Gabe began working on some water exercises in the clinic’s private pool. It was a little weird at first, but since it seemed to be helping, Gabriel decided that a little discomfort was bearable. He’d had worse, and at least this served a purpose, after all.

Sam, much to Gabe’s dismay, didn’t have to join him in the pool, but that didn’t stop Sam from getting water splashed in his face on far more than one occasion. He looked like he was trying to be pissed off, yet he couldn’t keep a straight face long enough for the scowl to seem sincere. Some people were almost impossible to be mad at, and Gabriel was near the top of that list.

-

A week or so after meeting Cas, Sam had introduced Gabriel to Dean, a decision he quickly regretted (although only a little). They had all gone out for drinks, which wasn’t a huge help. Though, Gabe and Dean had hit it off right away, and they were laughing the entire time, Sam thought it would have been much more enjoyable if not as much of that laughter had been directed at himself. Even with twice the teasing he usually had to endure from Dean, though, Sam was having a pretty great time, with two of his favorite people. He was glad Dean and Gabriel were getting along so well, even if it was at his own expense.

-

The last few days of March were history, and April was already going by in a blur. Gabe and Sam got into a routine of texting in the mornings before Sam went to work, seeing each other every Thursday in therapy, and getting together every Saturday. As time went on, however, their Saturday dates became more about hanging out at Sam’s place, and they spent less and less time actually going places on the weekends.

It was inevitable that something like this would happen eventually, and it did. Another lazy day at Sam’s, and they were just sitting on the couch kissing. Gabriel didn’t have complete control over his legs yet, but it was slowly starting to return.

Kissing had turned into making out, and Gabriel had been in the middle of trying to take Sam’s shirt off when his words broke through the haze, stopping his motions cold.

“Gabe, please, stop.” Sam gasped, pleading. His face displayed his range of emotions, ranging from lust to fear to embarrassment.

Gabriel froze, pulling back and looking at Sam. He let go of the shirt, and worried his brow, moving a hand back to Sam’s face.

“Are you okay? Did I do something?” He wasn’t really sure what had happened, but he didn’t want to do anything to hurt Sam. He had no idea what was going on, but that only seemed to make it worse.

“No, no, I’m just not, uh… ready, I guess.” Sam knew that it was a bit of a lie, because it was really more about _Gabriel_ not being ready, but he couldn’t exactly say that.

Gabriel nodded, and Sam looked relieved, but he was still acting a little bit nervous, which was really bothering him. This discussion was far from over. Gabriel was almost positive there was still something Sam was keeping from him.

“Is there something I should know?” Gabe didn’t mean to sound so hurt, because Sam was allowed to have his secrets, but it just felt like he should’ve known about whatever this aversion was. He’d heard about Sam’s mom on the second date, which seemed like a pretty personal thing. Gabriel would’ve thought that after a couple of _months_ , Sam would be comfortable sharing just about anything with him.

“Well, it’s not that I don’t _want_ to, it’s just that, uh….” Sam trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

“You can tell me anything, Sam. You know that right? I mean, I’m your boyfriend, I’m not going to leave over something stupid.” Gabriel wasn’t sure what he could say to draw the information from Sam, but he was trying his best. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Gabe realized that they hadn’t actually used the “boyfriend” label yet. This was a bit of a step, and not one he’d really thought much about.

“You are?” Sam asked quietly. Sure, he’d been thinking of them as boyfriends for a while now, but it was still sort of nice to hear it out loud.

“If you’re okay with that, then… I’d like to be, yeah.” Gabe was grateful that Sam didn’t appear to have taken it badly at all, because if he’d known Sam was going to be okay with it, he probably would’ve said that days, if not _weeks_ ago.

“Definitely. I would _definitely_ like you to be my boyfriend.” Sam was grinning, and Gabriel smiled back, glad that they now had that established and out of the way.

“That’s great.” Gabe knew there was something he was forgetting here, but it took a minute for it to come back to him. ‘’But seriously, what was it you were afraid to tell me? I mean, I’m not gonna force you, but, you know I won’t judge you, right?” Gabriel didn‘t want to pressure Sam too much, but this sort of seemed like something he should know.

Sam sighed, relenting. “It’s just that, if we actually do, you know, _things_ , then I have to take off my leg. I mean, it’s been a really long time since someone’s seen me without it, and they didn’t exactly take it well. I trust you, I do, but… I don’t know if I’m ready.” Sam looked down, staring at his hands resting in his lap.

“That’s okay. You can take however long you need. I just want you to know, that no matter what your leg looks like, it’s not going to make me not want to be with you. Really, it isn’t. I don’t know who you’re referring to, or what they did, but I promise not to, okay?”

Sam finally looked up, and he was so clearly uncertain that it made Gabriel’s heart ache.

“I know you don’t think that the leg is any sort of reason to leave, and you say you don’t care at all. And I’m sure you think that it won’t freak you out. But I really don’t believe that you know what to expect. I don’t know, maybe you do, but the last guy, Luce, _really_ didn’t.” Sam bit his lip, waiting for Gabriel to say something.

“Isn’t that the guy who split for the border after seeing you for _two years?_ ”

“Yeah, that’s the one. We worked it out with the leg and everything, but I can still remember his face when he first saw all the scars. You’ve got to remember, I lost my leg in a fire. It wasn’t like that was the only injury I sustained.” Sam’s eyes pointed to his other leg, before darting back up to try and read Gabriel’s face.

Gabe swallowed. He really hadn’t thought about that, actually. It wasn’t a deterrent, but he was glad for the reminder, because he probably would have been a little surprised by the scars when he first saw them.

“Okay. Well, whenever you feel comfortable with things, then I will be, too. Like I said, nothing that trivial is going to make me less interested.” Gabriel was a bit disappointed that he and Sam wouldn’t be getting it on as soon as he’d hoped, but he was more concerned with making sure that Sam was comfortable.

“All right. I do trust you, I just wanted to, you know, warn you. Maybe we’ll try next time, all right? I mean, the mood is kind of ruined right now, I suppose.” Sam half smiled, looking rather relieved.

“Maybe, but that’s okay. I’m glad that we talked about it.” Gabe really didn’t mind waiting. He wouldn’t do anything until he was sure Sam wanted it, too. 

-

When Gabriel got home, he wasn’t even thinking about the fact that they had almost gone further than making out, and that they probably would be soon. All he could think about was the fact that Sam was now officially his _boyfriend._

He and Sam were actual, honest to god, open and true, _boyfriends_. Aside from Sam’s moment of insecurity, the boyfriend thing had been the main takeaway from the afternoon.

If Cas noticed that something was different, which he really must have, he didn’t say anything. He just asked how Sam was, and that was the end of it.

-

Sam couldn’t have helped thinking about the first time he’d taken his leg off in front of Luce. He hadn’t even really been thinking about it, but the second it was out and exposed, the other boy had stopped dead in his tracks. Sure, they dated for over a year after that, but the look of initial shock was always there in Sam’s memory. It took a long time for Luce to seem completely comfortable with it, and Sam was sincerely, desperately hoping that it wouldn’t affect Gabriel as much. Either way, he only really had one way of finding out, and that was to just grow some balls and go for it.

-

A few days later while they were discussing their plans for that weekend, Sam had made a pretty bold invitation, although he would certainly be lying if he said he hadn’t wanted to offer it before.

“Do you want to spend the night at my place? No pressure to say yes, but I was just thinking, you know, if you want to.”

Gabriel hoped his choke hadn’t been audible. “I would love to. Tomorrow night or Saturday?”

Sam thought about it for a minute before answering him. “How about tomorrow night after dinner? You can stay as late as you want on Saturday.”

“That sounds good to me.”

-

Sam picked Gabe up a little after eight the next evening, and after a rather awkward greeting with Cas, they were going back to his place for the night.

Halfway there, Gabe realized he had forgotten to bring anything to sleep in. 

“Hey, uh, Sam? I don’t have any pajamas with me. Do you want to turn around or…?”

“No, that’s all right. You can just borrow some of mine.” Sam thought about saying _or not_ , but he didn’t want to risk it.

-

Once they were up in the apartment, Gabriel actually didn’t know where to start. He didn’t know how far they were going to go, or what they were going to do. He was excited for whatever happened, though. 

Before he had too much time to think about the possible ways this could go, Sam was already leading him over to the couch. As soon as they were situated, Sam was slipping his tongue into Gabe’s mouth, crushing their lips together in a frenzy.

\- 

Sam was thorough when he kissed. He slid one hand up Gabe’s thigh, with the other cupping his face, fingers threaded in his hair. 

It didn’t really take long for things to start getting more heated, and this time Sam didn’t hesitate to let Gabe pull off his shirt, doing the same in return. He wasn’t going to back out of this at the last minute tonight.

Gabe barely even got the chance to look at Sam’s torso, but the glance he got certainly didn’t disappoint. Sam was completely toned, and there were moles dotting all across his muscular chest. Gabriel, on the other hand, still had a fresh purple scar from the accident, but the bruises had faded already, and he wasn’t in bad shape himself. He wasn’t sure how they were going to transition from here, because this really wasn’t a very large couch, but it seemed like Sam just had a solution for everything.

Without warning, Sam lifted Gabriel up, and _carried_ him back into the bedroom. He wrapped his legs around Sam’s waist and draped his arms over his shoulders, wondering how strong Sam must have been to be able to carry him so effortlessly, especially with a prosthetic leg. Regardless, it was definitely something that he could get used to.

Sam set Gabe down gently on the edge of the bed, and moved to take off his own belt, kicking out of his left shoe as he did so. 

When he sat back down, Gabriel had managed to remove his own shoes, though not quite as smoothly as he would have liked.

They went back to kissing for a while, getting each other out of their pants as they did so, until Sam was sitting on the edge of the bed in nothing but boxers, and Gabe wasn’t wearing anything more than that, either.

He could already see the burn scars that adorned Sam’s left leg, but they were nowhere near as bad as he had made them sound. They were almost twenty years old, so faded that they were barely noticeable in most places.

Sam popped the button on the prosthetic and slid it off, rolling the sleeve and sock down after it. As soon as he’d taken it off, there was no going back, and Sam braced himself for whatever reaction he was about to get.

Sam’s right leg was more scarred than the left, and it came to a rounded stop right below the knee. He looked up at Gabe anxiously, trying to gauge his expression. This was still not something he was totally comfortable with, but he wanted the things that were going to come afterwards. Sam was almost positive that he was making this into a much bigger deal than Gabriel was, but after previous experiences, he couldn’t do much to fight the anxiety.

Gabe just ran his hand over the skin, leaning in and kissing Sam again. He hadn’t been lying even a little when he said that it didn’t bother him. There was nothing about Sam that he hadn’t already fallen for, and dangerously hard. Gabe was afraid that one of these days he was accidentally going to tell Sam he loved him. 

-

Now that they were both there, nearly naked, and definitely hard, neither one knew if they were going to go straight for sex, or if they should work up to it. Gabriel’s injury seemed to make the decision for them, however.

He was able to move a little but, but there was basically no way that actual, full on sex was a possibility right now, as he discovered while trying to move up further on the bed. When even the littlest things took that much effort, there was no way he would be able to go all the way, at least tonight. Luckily, he knew that Sam would understand, and there would be plenty of time for those other things to happen later.

So, he improvised. Reaching down once Sam had removed his own boxers, Gabriel closed a hand around his cock, slowly stroking up and down, before asking Sam to help reposition so he was in a better place for what he was about to do.

Once they were situated, with Sam laying down on his back towards the top of the bed, and Gabriel in between his legs, he licked a long stripe up Sam’s cock, swirling his tongue around the tip briefly before sliding it back down. Sam put a hand in his hair, pulling slightly when he moved.

Gabriel’s mouth was hot, and even once Sam was inside of it, he kept sliding his back and forth across the length of it.

Gabe worked back up, even more slowly, this time taking just the tip inside, tonguing the slit for a minute before taking a breath and swallowed as deeply as he could. He was proud to note that he made it almost to the base, and when he hollowed his cheeks and swallowed, Sam made the most delicious moan that he had ever heard.

Sam was squirming underneath him, _writhing_ as Gabe did it again, before pulling back up again. It was almost too much, and yet, he still needed _more_. 

He groaned, tightening his fingers in Gabe’s hair, which is when Gabriel learned two very important things about himself. The first was that he would be perfectly content to just sit and suck Sam’s dick for the rest of eternity, staring at him and listening to every noise he could possibly derive from the man. The second lesson he learned was that he, apparently, had a serious thing for hair pulling.

He had to rethink the sucking dick for an eternity thing when he looked back up. Sam’s head was tilted back, and suddenly there was nothing in the world that Gabe wanted to do more than cover that long, smooth neck in big, dark hickies. If he could have abandoned the blowjob, just for a minute, to go suck on Sam’s throat, he would have jumped on it. Unfortunately, he was unable to do that at the current time, but that didn’t mean that Sam would remain unmarked by the time he left the next day. 

He continued bobbing his head up and down, Sam’s taste starting to fill his mouth. He had to pull off for a minute, only because he could tell Sam was getting close.

“Have you been tested?” He asked, hoping that the answer was a yes.

It took a minute for Sam to process the words, since most of his blood was currently elsewhere, but he understood eventually.

“I’m clean.” He gasped out, once he understood the inquiry.

Not a second later, Gabe was swallowing him again, almost all the way down to the base. Sam gasped, and put all of his focus into three words, which he repeated over and over.

“Close. God, Gabriel, _close!_ ”

He had sort of been expecting Gabe to pull off when he came, but the other man only sucked harder, swallowing everything down until Sam had nothing left, panting and sweating above him. 

Watching Sam orgasm was one of the hottest things Gabe had ever seen, and the fact that it was because of _him_ was a major ego boost.

Of course, Gabriel could only ignore his own needs for so long, which Sam thankfully understood. As soon as he calmed down from his own high, Sam was reaching down enthusiastically to return the favor.

Before Gabe could get too uncomfortable, there were pretty pink lips wrapping around his cock, and Sam didn’t bother taking very long to tease him, just sucking down until the entire thing was surrounded in tight, wet heat.

“Ugh, Sam!”

He couldn’t really control calling out once Sam started _humming_ around him, the vibrations shooting through him like sparks. He would have to remember that trick for himself, next time Sam was on the receiving end.

Sam slid up to the very top without pulling off completely, circling just underneath the head with his tongue, before sliding back down and sucking as hard as he could.

When Gabe said he was getting close, Sam looked up at him, mouth still wrapped around his cock, and there was a question in his eyes. Hoping he understood, Gabe nodded.

“Yeah, I’m clean too.”

At that, Sam began to suck _even harder_ , until Gabriel was coming, hard and fast.

Sam licked up the drops that had dripped out of his mouth, swallowing around it.

Gabe was breathless, still recovering from what must have been the greatest blowjob of his life, when Sam got up, sliding the leg back on.

“Where are you going?” Gabe wasn’t actually concerned, just curious. And tired. And maybe he wanted to cuddle. So the fact that Sam was getting up already was a little annoying.

“Just getting water. I’ll be right back,” Sam promised, returning a minute later and handing a bottle to Gabriel, guzzling his own.

“So, I take it that’s something we’ll be doing again in the future?” Gabe asked, even though he already knew the definitive answer.

“Oh, fuck, yeah. I will be very disappointed if we _don’t_.” Sam smiled at him, wiping a little sweat off of his forehead.

Gabe hadn’t really been expecting Sam to swear, since he did it so rarely, but it was just a little bit hot.

“Good. Cause damn, that was… you were amazing.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Sam laughed, setting his bottle down on the bedside table. “Do you want me to grab us some pajamas?”

“Mmmm. I don’t know, at the moment, I’m kind of enjoying my view.”

“So am I, but it can get kind of cold in here at night.”

“So? I’ve got a nice, big space heater right here.”

“All right, yeah, but if you change your mind and I’ve already got the leg off, you can find your own pajamas.”

“That’s fair.” 

It was only about ten, which was probably way earlier than either of them needed to be going to sleep, but they were both tired, and there was nothing stopping them from going to bed now.

Sam took off his prosthetic and flipped off the lamp, pulling the covers over the two of them, and sliding up closer behind Gabriel.

-

Despite what Sam had said, neither man was even a bit cold. Gabe curled onto his side, and Sam moved up behind him, slinging an arm across his waist, and moving his head in, burying his face in Gabriel’s hair.

When they woke up, it took a half hour before either one could convince himself to move. Gabe turned around to face Sam, and they just stared at each other for what might have been a few minutes, or several hours. It was hard to tell.

Gabe smiled, finally just deciding to hell with the morning breath, and leaning in to get his good morning kiss. He could get used to waking up like this more often. That had been a _very_ good night’s sleep.

Sam murmured a muffled “mornin’,” yawning, but still not making any effort to move. 

“Come on, Sam, we should get up. I mean, I love this, but I doubt Lyla does, and I might be a little hungry myself.” Gabriel was mostly convincing himself, since he didn’t feel much like moving, either.

Sam nodded, yawning again, before moving to get up.

His bed head was as strong as ever, and Gabe had to remind himself not to laugh. Of course, Sam ran his fingers through it _once_ and it righted itself. Not fair.

Sam put on his leg and got up, shuffling through a drawer for a minute before emerging with an armful of clothes, pulling on some pants, and giving Gabriel a pair to do the same.

Begrudgingly, Gabe put on the sweats that Sam tossed to him, tightening the drawstring as far as he could, and cuffing the bottoms so that they didn’t cover his feet all the way.

He was just about to ask Sam if he would go bring him the chair, but apparently Sam wasn’t opposed to just carrying him some more, which was also okay. It was significantly faster, and he was seriously starting to like this new form of transportation.

-

Instead of putting him down in a chair, like a normal person might have, Sam set Gabriel down right on the kitchen counter, before opening the fridge to pull out eggs and milk.

Gabe thought several times about asking to be helped down, but every few minutes as he was making the food, Sam leaned over and kissed him again, and Gabriel decided that he could sit there a little longer. He was eventually put in charge of stirring the batter, and making sure there weren’t any clumps in it.

-

Within a quarter hour, there were scrambled eggs, pancakes, and coffee, and Sam was moving Gabe into a chair, setting a plate and a mug in front of him.

The pancakes might not have been quite as outstanding as the spaghetti had been, but they were still pretty damn good, and both of them were still basking in the after effects of the previous evening. While the last night had been nothing but heat and passion and sex, today was one of the most domestic scenes you could picture.

-

Never underestimate the powers of coffee as an aid to waking up. After about twenty minutes, they were both fully awake, and ready to face the day. Of course, that also meant that Lyla needed walking, which was going to be difficult given the whole wheelchair situation. Sam offered to be quick, and let Gabriel just stay at the apartment, but Gabe insisted that it would be fine, and that he could use a little fresh air.

Changing into some more respectable clothes, they both made their way down to the street, where it was just starting to warm up from the winter. The snow hadn’t really melted yet, but it was getting there. It was warm enough that going outside could once again be an enjoyable experience.

-

Gabriel was holding Lyla’s leash while Sam pushed the chair, like some sort of train, and while it may have looked a little bit odd, nobody seemed to care. That was one of the best things about the city - nobody really gave a shit what anybody else was doing. 

When they got back, Sam asked if Gabe wanted to go home right away, or if he wanted to hang out longer, and just get taken home a sometime later.

Gabriel, of course, made the obvious choice, and sent Cas a message to let him know that he wouldn’t be home for a while yet, to which Cas asked him to spare the details, and just let him know when he was on the way back

-

They mostly just sat around watching movies, since it was starting to rain, and they were both having too nice of a time to care about being productive. Sam took them to get a late lunch on the way back to Cas’, where they finally said their goodbyes, for at least a couple of days.

-

Cas greeted Gabe with a smile when he came in, but he wore an expression that said he definitely knew they had gotten up to much more than kissing the previous evening.

Gabriel went to go take a shower, and realized that even though he’d literally _just_ seen Sam, he was already looking forward to Thursday so that he could see him again. _When had his entire life been divided into either time spent with Sam, or the gaps between it?_ The days that they didn’t see each other felt like time fillers, because nothing actually happened when they weren’t together.

-

Sam walked back through his door, frowning at the now empty apartment. Well, empty save for a giant dog, currently sprawled across the furniture napping. 

That night, Sam decided that he really preferred sleeping when he didn’t have the whole bed to himself. He was not a huge fan of sleeping alone, and now that he knew how nice it was to share the space with Gabriel, he would have to invite him over to spend the night a lot more in the future. He could easily get used to not waking up alone.


	9. Chapter 9

After the first time Sam and Gabriel spent the night together, it quickly became a regular thing, which suited both parties just fine. Things were going well in therapy too, and more and more control was returning every week. In one of the last sessions of April, Gabe had actually been able to stand with Sam’s assistance. Granted, Sam was probably lifting at least half of his weight, but being on his own two feet, for the first time in so long, gave Gabe a renewed sense of strength and independence.

Of course, standing wasn’t the only thing on his mind come the end of the month. Sam’s twenty eighth birthday was right around the corner, and Gabriel was still a little uncertain about his gift. Cas had told him at least a hundred times that it was great, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Gabriel had looked online and ordered a framed print of the O’Keeffe painting from the museum they’d gone to on their first date. He even had a pretty good idea of where Sam would hang it, since just a few days ago he’d been talking about how barren the wall next to the television was. Gabe hadn’t been entirely sure what size to get, so he went for the middlemost one, about thirty six inches tall. It seemed bigger in person than he’d imagined it, but he was sure Sam had plenty of room for it. 

Gabe already had the gift all wrapped up and ready to go, even though they weren’t celebrating Sam’s birthday for another few days. The card he bought was blank inside, so that he had enough space to write out an entire message. For some reason, it seemed like a lot of pressure, but a handwritten message was more personal, and that was sort of the point. When he sat down to put his thoughts onto paper, Gabe wasn’t completely sure what he wanted to say, but as it turned out, when it came to talking about Sam, he was practically Robert Frost. There was so much to say, he had trouble finding a place to conclude.

-

When Saturday finally rolled around, Gabriel had the card sealed away in its envelope, with the gift ready to go. Technically, Sam’s birthday had been the day before, but Dean had taken him out the previous night so that they could visit Ellen, Jo, Ash, and Bobby (and probably some more people he was forgetting, but who could say). Sam had invited him to the “party,” but Gabriel didn’t really want to intrude, and they would be seeing each other the next day anyway. That, and the thought of meeting almost the entire remainder of Sam’s family at once seemed completely overwhelming. He’d much prefer the introductions be made one by one.

Saturday night, Sam came up to the door to pick him up at six thirty on the dot. His punctuality never failed to amaze Gabriel. Sam was dressed nicely, and Gabe had to stop for a minute to just admire and take in the view. For once, they were actually going out right away, and not stopping by Sam’s place first. Sure, they would end up there later, but not until after what they’d planned to be a sophisticated dinner, at one of the more upscale restaurants on the area. 

The place they chose was a little more high-class than Gabe’s usual taste, but this was Sam’s birthday, and he wanted things to be nice. Gabriel could put on a nice shirt and tie for one evening without too much suffering. Hell, he’d dress like that _every_ day if it meant seeing Sam smile like he was right then. Gabriel was very glad that his brother wasn’t in the room to witness all the blatant checking out that was going on.

Sam, of course, was going to show him up anyway. He was sporting a very well-fitting suit, with an indigo tie that was suddenly Gabe’s new favorite color. It was true that Gabe was dressed nicely himself, but a black tie and button down had nothing on an actual suit. Although, apparently, Sam didn’t think so. 

Cas came out to wish Sam a happy birthday before the two left for dinner, buthe second they were out of his, and anyone else’s earshot, Sam grabbed his hand and leaned down to whisper in Gabe’s ear, in a voice much lower than his usual one.

“You look fantastic. All night long at dinner, I don’t know how I’m going to be able to think of anything else besides tearing that shirt right off of you. I think the tie can stay, though.”

Gabriel shivered, trying to think of _anything_ except for how great his boyfriend looked in that suit right now. They had reservations at seven, and his mind was entering places they didn’t have time to bring it back from.

When Sam straightened back up, Gabe turned to look at him, but Sam’s face was schooled and neutral again, like nothing had happened at all. Clearly, he was starting to work on all that revenge he kept talking about. Well, who was he to deny such a handsome man a little birthday sex? It only seemed appropriate. That, and he was a little curious as to how Sam planned on incorporating the necktie. _After dinner, that is,_ Gabe reminded himself quickly. _Can’t go getting ahead of ourselves._

-

Gabriel was happy to note that their table was in a relatively empty corner, since it gave them a little more privacy throughout the meal. He’d opted to leave the gift in the car for later, once they were comfortably situated back in at Sam’s apartment. He had written some pretty personal things in that card, and he really wanted them to be alone when Sam read it. Gabe wasn’t totally sure what his reaction was going to be, but he did know that there were probably not things Sam would be able to read comfortably in public. It was a little too emotional to present inside a busy restaurant.

-

Dinner talk was light enough, and Sam mostly just spoke about what had happened the night before at his other party. The more he heard, the more grateful Gabriel was that he had turned down the invitation to come. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to meet Ellen and everyone, but it sounded like they were sort of giving Sam the third degree on their relationship. Apparently, everyone had been bombarding him with questions, except for Ash and Bobby, who had mostly just sat back and laughed. Sam insisted that Gabe at least meet those two soon, since they were a little less “intense” than the rest of the family. He said that Ash reminded him a lot of Gabriel, in some ways.

Eating at this place sort of felt like acting in a play, like Gabriel was only _pretending_ to be a professional adult. This was most definitely not his speed, and earlier that day, he had had to google which fork to use for which course, just to be sure that he didn’t make too many uncomfortable mistakes. Even though he now knew the difference between a salad fork and a dessert fork, it just seemed to further prove that he didn’t belong. Gabriel couldn’t honestly wait to get out of the place, and not only because of how eager he was to get the birthday boy out of that suit.

The restaurant wasn’t all bad, though. The wine was fantastic, as was the meal that followed. Sam was smiling for just about the entire evening, and that made it hard for Gabriel not to be, too. The biggest upside to celebrating a birthday at a nice place was probably just the fact that the waitstaff didn’t gather around and sing to you at the end. Was there a more annoying act in the world?

-

Despite the fact that he had tried so hard to convince himself that he wasn’t nervous, by the time they got back to the apartment, Gabriel’s hands were sweating. When he had written his note, it sounded fine, but now the card was seeming like it was just going to be too much. He would have to ask Sam to open the gift first, and see how he reacted to that.

Sam removed the paper gingerly, slender fingers breaking the tape seal to slide the frame out of its box. As soon as he saw what the gift was, Sam leaned forward to give Gabriel a kiss.

“Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

Gabriel swallowed the anxiety long enough to hand him the envelope, knowing that he couldn’t back out of this now. 

“Okay, and, uh, here’s the card.”

He held it out a little reluctantly, but Sam took it with a smile, tearing the flap off the envelope and sliding the card out.

_Dear Sam,_

_Has it really been almost four months already? Where has the time gone? It seems like only days ago, I was seeing you walk through the door at therapy for the first time, all arms and hair and dimples. I remember thinking, after that very first day, just how much I already liked you, and that affection has only grown since I’ve known you._  
You are one of the kindest, bravest, strongest people I have ever met. It’s a gift just to know _you, and it’s a privilege to call you mine. Knowing that you feel the same way about me is…... incredible. I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I don’t even really know how to say how I feel about you in words, but Sam, I can’t picture my life now if we weren’t together._  
I know it’s only been a few months, but I sincerely hope that I’m around for your next birthday, and many more after that. I think I plan on staying as long as you’re willing to keep me.  
You’ve been a huge support during one of the hardest times of my life, and you’re inspiring person, always able to make the best of a bad situation. I’m honored to have someone like you in my life.  
Happy birthday, babe, and many more.

_Love, Gabriel._

He almost hadn’t signed it with the “love,” but it seemed like the only appropriate way to close something like that. Whether he’d openly stated it or not, by the time he’d finished reading that, Gabriel was sure Sam would know that he loved him.

When Sam looked back up, there were tears in his eyes, and he had to wipe them away with his sleeve before they could spill over.

Instead of a kiss, Sam pulled him into a rib-crushing hug. It said all the words that he didn’t need to say. All the worry he’d had over the card vaporized, and Gabriel didn‘t regret a word of it. He had meant every single thing he’d written, even the love part. Shit, _especially_ the love part. He cared about Sam more than he could even express.

“I love you, Sam.” He didn’t really think that he had anything to lose by saying it, and by the way things looked right now, Sam was as sure of it as he was.

“I love you too, Gabe.”

The response was sincere, and now Sam wasn’t the only one who was getting emotional. He said love so easily, with confidence. Like he’d known for a long time. It was comforting and thrilling. 

Now that it was all out in the open, Gabe had no idea what he’d been afraid of. This was the best he could ever remember feeling. This moment might have been the happiest of his life. Sam loved him. Sam Winchester, one of the most beautiful, amazing people on this entire planet, loved _him._

In thirty one years of life, this felt like it might just have been Gabriel’s greatest accomplishment. He still had a small voice inside his head telling him that he didn’t deserve it, and that Sam could do better, but he drowned it out with the warmth that was spreading through the rest of him, right through his very bones. Irrational thoughts had no room to surface right now.

-

This was what love felt like. They were just two people, who might not have ever met, if everything in their lives hadn’t happened exactly how it had, like they were somehow meant to be together. Everything from moving when Cas went to school, to being in that accident, and probably loads of things even before that, had brought him where he was today.

He had never thought he’d live to see the day that he was grateful for a life-threatening car accident that put him in a wheelchair, and yet here he was. God really did work in mysterious ways. 

Maybe, for the first time in his life, Gabriel was really starting to understand the concept of fate. Maybe some people actually were just made for each other. Even if he’d known that before, though, he never would have thought that he’d be one of them. By thirty, he’d sort of given up on the idea of having some sort of soul mate out there. It must be true, then, that you’re never too late for love. He’d never had something like this before, and he would be damned if it got away. This was the most real thing he’d ever felt, he was sure of it.

-

Of course, once all of the feelings and emotions managed to settle down, there was still one more aspect of the evening to attend to. Sam still had one more gift to unwrap, and it just so happened to be in the form of a website design specialist.

They fell into bed together, and once again, Gabe found that Sam didn’t dissappoint in any area of the relationship. By the time they were finished, it was starting to feel like maybe _Gabriel_ was the one getting the birthday gift. Sam was thorough as he went, only further motivating Gabriel to give it his all when it was Sam’s turn.

Soon after they were done, the two laid down together, more than ready to fall asleep after a wonderful, though rather exhausting, evening. Gabriel watchedlooked at Sam peacefully sleeping peacefully until he physically couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. Then he closed them, still seeing Sam’s face while he dreamt.

-  
Waking up next to Sam was even better this time than it had been the last. As soon as Gabe rolled over, and looked into his boyfriend’s eyes, the words were just spilling out.

“I love you.”

Sam just smiled at him, reaching over to stroke a hand over his hair.

“Love you, too, babe.”

The rest of the morning was relaxed and easy, both of them a bit tired from the night before. Sam had to have told Gabesaid he loved him at least a dozen times. It was kinda weird, but also really sweet. 

Gabriel found himself desperately not wanting to leave once the time came, but he was also a little afraid that he was overstaying his welcome. They said their goodbyes, and exchanged their final “I love you”s before he finally went back inside to Cas, who was waiting at the table with some coffee and a smile.

“So, what did Sam think of the print?”

Of course Cas would want to know, since he’d helped figure it out in the first place. Gabriel wasn’t always the greatest at gift giving.

“He really liked it.”

“That’s good. Did you guys have a nice dinner?”

Cas hadn’t gotten to read the card, so he didn’t actually know how sentimental things had gotten, but he could probably tell by the way Gabriel was acting that he had something more to tell.

“Yeah, we did. And I, uh, told him I loved him.”

Cas, never very good at concealing surprise, accidentally spit out a bit of his coffee at that,, never very good at concealing surprise, though at least this time he seemed happy. “That’s new. And he said it back?” 

“He did. And he meant it. God, Cas, I’m so fucked.” Gabe said, with a smile that proved how little he really minded, and he had to laugh a little at how true the statement was. 

“Yes, yes you are.” Cas replied, shaking his head. He’d never seen Gabriel so enamored with another person before, and he deserved that kind of love in his life. Cas smiled at his brother, glad that Gabe and Sam had somehow found the way to each other.

x x x

Even if he didn’t see it that way himself, Gabriel was making great progress, and he was recovering much faster than even Sam had expected. It was only late April the first time he was able to stand with assistance, something that could have taken years for some people. He was as determined as he was cute, and Sam truly did believe that it was only a little longer now until he would be walking, standing on his own, and getting back to a semi-normal lifestyle. 

It was exciting, thinking about all the things that they would be able to do together once Gabriel was mobile again. Sam didn’t have a problem with the wheelchair, but it was fun thinking about all the places they would be able to go when the injury was no longer holding him back. Sam started making a list in his head, of all the things he wanted to do with Gabe in just a few short months. He knew he was getting ahead of himself, and there were still some things that could go wrong, but that wcouldn’t stop him from thinking about it. The only downside Sam could see was that Gabe probably wouldn’t need to be carried around as much.

-

The night of his birthday, Sam was excited to spend the evening with his family. It had been far too long since all of them had been together, and he was really looking forward to seeing everyone and catching up on everything he’d missed. Sam had been a little disappointed when Gabriel had declined his invitation to come, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to have a really great time anyways. He and Gabe would be together the next night, at least, so it wasn’t like he wouldn’t get to see him soon.

Sam had already told his family about Gabriel, but unfortunately he wouldn’t be able to make introductions quite yet. Still, everybody was eager to hear how he was, and what he was like, and how long the two of them had been dating now. Once Sam had mentioned that he and Gabriel had been together for nearly four months already, they were hounding him for information. They wanted stories, pictures, the whole bit. It was kind of cute for a while, but eventually he got bored. Sam knew they were only asking because they cared, but it was still a little tedious. Even so, he couldn’t help the smile that pulled on his lips every time he started to get lost thinking about Gabriel.

Sam omitted a lot of the more private details of their relationship, but somehow it still came out that they had gone a little further than kissing, and Ash made a comment so crude Sam didn’t even deem it repeatable, even though Jo started cackling like a madwoman. It was not a topic he wanted to discuss, especially with this particular group of people.

Sam loved his family, he did, and he knew they wouldn’t have been like this had Gabe been here, but he was sort of done answering things about “them” for now. Finally, he had spoken enough on the subject, and since it _was_ his birthday, after all, he had the authority to request a change in conversation.

They spent the rest of the night just drinking and talking and laughing, and he could only think of one thing that would have made the evening any better. That “one thing” came the next night, in the form of a sassy blond with golden eyes. Sam really had missed him the previous night. 

\- 

Sam had tried to dress as nicely as possible, knowing that this place wasn’t just your typical dump of a restaurant. That, and he might have been trying to impress a certain someone, while he was at it. The suit might not have been a requirement for dinner, but Sam was dressing at least as much for his date as he was for the establishment.

Gabriel looked amazing, too. All neat and sharp and handsome. He talked a lot about how Sam was the more attractive of the two, but Sam just really wasn’t seeing it. Gabriel had such a beautiful face, like his profile was cut from marble. And now, dressed up like he was, Sam had no idea how this guy had still been available. There had to have been some mistake. 

-

When Gabe mentioned that he was going to leave the gift in the car, and have him open it later, Sam had to wonder what he could possibly have gotten. He had told him not to buy _anything,_ but people never really listen when you say that. Just staring at Gabriel though, Sam was pretty sure he’d already gotten a pretty nice present.

As the night unfolded, Sam nearly forgot about the mysterious gift. He was having a magnificent time, and it looked like Gabriel was, too, if a little out of his element. The place was gorgeous, all clean and white and pretty, practically pristine. The only real drawback had been how fragile everything looked, l. Like if you stared at it wrong, it might break. It wasn’t Sam’s normal style, but once in a while, it was fun to dress up and do something nice.

-

Once they were situated back at the apartment, Gabriel handed him the gift, wrapped up all shiny and neat. Sam almost didn’t want to unwrap it, but he had to know what Gabriel had gotten for him.

 _Oh my god. He remembered._ The painting was stunning. The exact same one from that day at the museum.

Sam was sure that the gift was the sweetest thing ever, and Gabriel was the greatest boyfriend in the world. Once he opened the card, though, a whole new jar of emotions had been opened up, and Sam had no way of putting back the lid. 

As he read, the words started swimming before him as his eyes filled up with tears. _Gabriel really thought of him this way?_

He tried to picture Gabriel sitting there, trying to articulate all of this, and he still couldn’t believe it. It was altogether overwhelming, reading something this meaningful about _himself._ He didn’t even know how to communicate his emotions, because this was too much. 

Aside from Dean, Sam had never honestly thought that he was that important to anyone. Even after being together for as long as they were, Luce was able to just up and leave, like they were nothing. To know that Gabe felt that deeply about him… It seemed impossible.

Before he had too much time to even think about the words he’d just read, he was hearing something else that shocked him just as much.

“I love you, Sam.”

Sam had known that he loved Gabriel for a while now. He’d been a little too insecure to say it, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t felt how _different_ this relationship had been from the ones he’d had in the past. Now, he was almost a little upset that he’d been beaten to the punch. There was no way he was going to leave the guy hanging, though, since the words were finally out there.

“I love you too, Gabe.”

Nothing had ever felt so _right._ Every syllable was true. Saying it out loud, Sam couldn’t even remember what had made him wait so long. All he wanted to do now was tell him, over and over and over. _I love you, Gabriel. I love you._

Sam wanted to kiss every inch of his body, proclaiming it until those words were the only ones he could remember. He wanted Gabe to go home the next day, still able to hear Sam’s voice in his head. Actually, thinking about it, Samhe didn’t want him to go home the next day _period._

Unfortunately, he had no idea how to go through with any of those desires without making things awkward right now. Maybe someday, he would just be able to sit them both down, telling Gabriel every single thing he loved about him. His laugh, his eyes, the way he looked when he’d just woken up, still well over half asleep. 

There were so many things Sam was afraid he’d never be able to tell him. He deserved to know just how funny, and how beautiful, and how wonderful he was. God, Sam was so in love. So far gone, unravelled, and destroyed for Gabe. 

He would honestly do pretty much anything for Gabe. Half a year ago, he’d never met this man, he’d thought he was perfectly happy on his own. Now, here he was, trying to picture what it was even like before him. What was his reason to get out of bed everyday, before that reason became Gabriel?

-

Sleeping with Gabriel was probably the eighth wonder of the world (ninth if you counted Las Vegas.) It couldn’t have been a sin, when Sam felt so close to God himself. Even if it was, he was more than willing to go to hell for this. If every guy had a view as nice as his, viagra might go out of business. 

By the time they were finished, he felt positively weightless, like they were floating off somewhere in the stars. It was positively etherealetheral.

He pulled Gabriel as close as he possibly could, even though they no longer needed each other to keep warm. Now he was doing it because he felt like he couldn’t get close enough. Like there was no physical way he could get enough of this, just being with Gabriel.

Sam fell asleep, listening to Gabe’s steady breathing, the way he snored just a tiny bit, and whispering all the things that he couldn’t say out loud. Sam’s eyes trailed over every line of Gabriel’s face, so peaceful and relaxed. He didn’t want to close his eyes, didn’t want to stop staring. 

-

When he woke up, Gabriel was just as beautiful as he had been every other morning they’d spent together. And today, Sam had no hesitations in telling him just how much he loved him. Telling Gabe he loved him was just as satisfying as hearing it said back. This was certainly something that he could get used to.

Sam was none too thrilled that he had to take him back home again, because he really wasn’t done spending time with him yet. He had to soak in all the Gabriel he could before dropping him back off, because the four days until they would see each other again were starting to seem longer than ever. Sam wished that he could just _stay_. It was getting harder and harder driving back to Cas’ place every Sunday.

-

When Sam got back to his own apartment, Dean called to let him know that he’d forgotten his jacket on friday, and that he would’ve called sooner, but he didn’t want to “interrupt anything.”

When Sam thanked him, there must have been some sort of wistfulness in his voice that Dean caught onto, and there was no way he was just going to let it slide by. That’s not what older brothers were for.

“Man, what is up with you? Are you so hopped up on endorphins they’re starting to mess with your head?”

“I don’t know man. It’s just…... Gabriel.” Sam wasn’t sure that there was any way to say it _without_ Dean making fun of him.

“Yeah. That’s descriptive. You sound just a tiny bit insane right now. Is everything alright?”

“Hell yeah. Things are great. Things are…... things are perfect, Dean.” Sam sounded far off, even to himself, and he was starting to see his brother’s point, at least a little.

“Okaayyyy, then. Good for you guys. You’re sure I have no reason to be concerned, though? You sound like Ash the first time he got high.”

“No, Dean, no need for concern. You know, last night, he told me he loved me.”

“Oh god. So that’s why you sound so dopey today? Dude, I could have told you that _weeks_ ago.”

 

While that was probably true, there was a big difference between _knowing_ someone loved you and hearing it.

“Shut up. Be happy for me.”

“Whatever you say, bitch.”

“Jerk.”

Were they too old for this whole “bitch and jerk” thing? Yes. Did either one of them really give a damn about that? No.

“All right, just, I have your jacket. I almost forgot that’s what I called to tell you.”

“Oh, yeah, thanks. See you later.”

-

Sam was still floating on a cloud an hour later, after rereading that card for what must have been the fiftieth time. It was still a little unbelievable that someone had sat down, and written these words _about him._

Yes, he was very much, without a doubt, in love with Gabriel. And honestly, there was no better feeling in the world.


	10. Chapter 10

The spring had been beautiful, though after the preceding winter, it was very much deserved, Once summer began, and it started to get hot outside, Sam and Gabriel were determined to make the best out of it. Now that Gabriel was gaining back muscle, and able to stand some with help, they were capable of doing a lot more things.

There was a lot of stuff Gabe missed about having the full use of his legs. Usually, by this time of year, he would be going on bike rides nearly daily. He expressed this lament to Sam, who said that it probably wouldn’t be the best idea right now, because things were still a little shaky. Sam admitted that he was a little worried that Gabriel could get in an accident. Still, Sam promised that as soon as he thought Gabe was ready, he’d let him know. He even told Gabe that he would personally go the storage place and retrieve the bike himself. Just, not yet.

-

It was on a particularly sunny Saturday in June that Sam suggested the two of them spend a day at the lake. There was no reason to object, so at just after ten, Gabe found himself being taken to the beach. They had no intentions of going swimming, just lounging on the sand and talking. And maybe getting ice cream on the way back. They left his wheelchair in the car, and Gabe carried the backpack while Sam carried _him_ , piggyback.

The place was nearly vacant, which was pretty rare at this time of year, especially considering the weather. The two just sat there and enjoyed the day for at least an hour or so, before Sam said that he had to go do something, and would be back soon. Before Gabe was able to ask what was going on, Sam was gone.

After a few minutes, he was starting to wonder where Sam had gone, but Gabe didn’t have to wait too long to find out, at least.

Just after that, Sam came back, grinning from ear to ear and walking alongside… a tandem bicycle.

_Oh my god. He_ didn’t. _Sam was the cutest thing ever._

“So, I know you were kinda bummed about not being able to bike and everything, and I know that I said it was probably a bad idea right now, but I saw these for rent the other day, so I figured it was worth a shot. What do you think? Should we try it?”

Sam looked so happy, and Gabe had to admit, it was a rather genius idea. He decided to take the back and let Sam steer, because that way he got an even better view, regardless of the natural scenery. Sam agreed, helping him on, and climbing onto the front himself. Gabe’s seat was set a little too low, but he didn’t exactly have the tools to fix that right now.

“What, no helmets? What if something happens? This doesn’t seem safe at all.” Gabriel said it as a joke, but Sam, it seemed, was already more than prepared for the remark.

“Well, I looked, but I couldn’t find any big enough to fit your head.”

After the first few months of dating, they’d started doing things like this more and more. It was all for show, because at heart, they were still just as sappy and sentimental as always, but they were both just a lot more comfortable when they were able to laugh and joke with each other. They couldn’t act sweet and innocent _all_ the time. They bickered almost like siblings, but none of it was really intended to cause harm. Teasing was just their way of expressing affection.

“Sure, Sam. You can tell yourself that. But we both know the real reason against the helmets is because you’re afraid they’ll mess up your hair.”

“Big talk from such a small man.”

That was basically just Sam speak for “I don’t have a good comeback, so I’m just gonna use my height to my advantage some more.” Since Sam had just rented a damn bike for him, though, Gabriel decided to let it slide, just this once.

-

Once they were actually moving, it was great. Sure, it was a little slower than a typical ride, but then again, a typical bike ride didn’t include Sam Winchester, so Gabe was more than willing to make the sacrifice.

“How long did you rent this for?” He had to wait until they were stopped at a light to ask, to make sure Sam would be able to hear him.

“Uh… three hours?”

That was a long time. Sure, he was having a great time _now_ , but Gabriel was fairly certain that after three whole hours, his legs would be just about falling off. Then again, who knew that better than Sam?

“You know you don’t have to pedal fast, though, and we can return it early, if you want me to.”

Sam didn’t sound too fond of the latter option, but Gabe knew that if he asked him to, Sam would do it in a heartbeat. Gabe just assured him that he would let him know if they needed to stop.

-  
They rode around the entire city. They passed by the stores, and the little urban coffee houses, and even went a lap around the lake. Sam did almost all the work after the first forty five minutes or so, but he didn’t appear to have any problems with that. Gabriel peddled on and off, partly from exhaustion, and other times just from distraction.

-

Gabe waited patiently in the car for Sam to return the bike, and then they went out for that ice cream he’d promised. The place was packed, and Gabe hated that he still had to wait in the line in his chair, but after that afternoon, it was probably for the better that he did.

He and Sam both ordered cones, and Gabe managed to get a sufficient amount of the strawberry sorbet on his nose, before he had even finished the first scoop. Of course, this proved to be the perfect opportunity to show off his hidden talent of being able to touch his nose with his tongue. Sam stared at him, with a mixture of awe and disgust, which was a common response to such a skill.

“Just wait ‘til you see all the _other_ things I can do with my tongue.” Gabriel accentuated the statement with a wink, before returning to his cone.

Sam didn’t look like he was taking that as a joke anymore.

“And just how long will I have to wait for that?”

His voice came out lower than Gabriel had expected, and Sam had a smirk that meant he knew exactly how to speed up that wait time.

“Well, at least until we’re not, you know, _in public._ But after that? Anytime you want, sweetheart.” He only ever used that nickname when he was being a cocky ass, which happened to be pretty often. Sam used it as a term of endearment. Gariel used it as a taunt.

Unfortunately, Sam was just as skilled at this game as Gabriel was, and they both knew that they were going down a two way street. It was inevitable that Sam would dish back some medicine of his own, sooner or later.

“Mmm. That’s good, because I have my own share of things to show you too.”

Gabriel swallowed hard. He couldn’t really tell if that was bluffing or not, but odds were, Sam wasn’t kidding. Things might have just gotten _a lot_ more interesting.

Once they got in car, he was more than ready to head back to Sam’s place and find out. Even though his legs were kind of killing him, Gabe would make it work. He knew that it would be well worth a little soreness.  
-

 

As it turned out, Sam _did_ have a few aces up his sleeve, but it looked like he was going to make Gabriel wait to find out exactly what they were.

Instead, he drew out a long, steamy makeout session once they got back, and it lasted for what felt like at _least_ an eternity and a half. Once Sam pulled away, Gabe was sure that they were finally, _finally_ going to take this somewhere. Sam hefted him up effortlessly, and brought him back to the bed, where he lay him down and started pulling off Gabriel’s clothes, refusing to do the same for his own.

“Your legs must be tired from the bike ride, huh?” Sam asked nonchalantly, like he hadn’t just had his tongue down someone else’s throat for a solid hour.

“A little, I guess. By all means, though, don’t let that stop you.” Gabriel didn’t think Sam was going to deny him sex just because he was a little tired. At least, he really hoped he wouldn’t. That didn’t seem fair.

“I’m gonna give you a massage.” Sam’s tone was final, like the matter was settled.

Oh god. He had to be joking. _Now?_

Before Gabe could protest and insist that he would be fine, Sam was pulling out a bottle of lotion, lathering some between his hands. He probably didn’t even know how sexual that looked. With hands like that, though, what didn’t? If Gabe looked at them too long, he couldn’t help but picture them doing other things. Were hand fetishes a thing?

-

Sam slid his hands gently up Gabriel’s thighs before pressing a little harder, rubbing back down to his knees. Gabriel hadn’t quite known just how sore they really were, until those hands were on him, working miracles and easing out all the knots, one by one. Sam’s hands were going to be the death of him one day, Gabriel was sure of it. But hey, there were certainly worse ways to die.

Once Sam had worked on his thighs for at least ten minutes, he knelt down on the floor and began to knead Gabe’s calves, taking a brief break to kiss the inside of his ankles, which were a lot more sensitive than he would’ve thought.

It was sweet, but almost torturously slow. Unfortunately, Gabe’s cock never actually got the message that it wasn’t going to be getting any attention anytime soon. Sam picked up on this detail too, apparently. As much as Gabriel wanted Sam to touch him, it sounded like that wasn’t going to happen just yet.

“Jack yourself off for me. I want to watch.” Sam said it like he meant it. Then again, the request made sense. What better way was there to find out what someone liked, than to have them show you?

Gabriel groaned, and Sam moved away for a minute so he could take off his boxers. Gabe reached over to the lotion that Sam had left on the bed, smoothing it onto his hand before reaching down, between the legs that Sam had so carefully massaged moments before.

Sam went back to work on his legs, eyes never leaving him as Gabriel grabbed his cock, stroking slowly up and down, twisting to the right every other time.

He dragged his thumb over the slit occasionally, spreading precum over it as he did so. Gabe was still moving slowly, both for his benefit and Sam’s. He laid down on the edge of the bed, so he didn’t need his left hand to prop himself up. Instead, he brought it down to hold his balls, mimicking the same rolling movements that Sam’s thumbs were now making around his ankles.

Unfortunately, Gabe was getting close, and he couldn’t keep up his lazy pace forever. He sped up his hands, and Sam stopped watching his movements to make eye contact, which only made him go faster. Gabriel was reaching the edge just as Sam licked his lips, eyes wide, with one hand palming himself through his still non discarded jeans.

Gabe’s orgasm pulsed through him, easing away any tension that had remained. With a groan, he wrung the very last semblances from himself, painting his stomach, thighs, and hand in come. He finally reopened his eyes, right onto a very, very turned on Sam.

“That was so. Fucking. Hot.” Sam stated in a breath, one hand pressed firmly against his groin, the other clumsily unbuttoning his jeans before he could drag down the zipper.

Sam stood up and removed the rest of his clothes, sitting down next to Gabriel and spreading his precum as lube, clearly not able to take things nearly as slowly as Gabe had. He was almost frantic, and by the looks of it, as hard as marble. Gabriel was fairly impressed that Sam had managed not to come in his pants. Sure, they weren’t kids anymore, but even Gabriel had been close on more than one occasion through his adult life.

-

Sam came less than five minutes later, with a drawn out groan, shooting across his abs as he collapsed backwards onto the bed.

Both of them knew that they would want to clean themselves up before it had long enough to dry, and Sam gathered himself enough to go and get a warm, damp rag, starting with Gabriel and then moving on to his own mess.

-

“So, how do your legs feel now?” Sam asked, sighing as he lay back down and removed the prosthetic.

“Mmm. Never better,” Gabe mumbled into his shoulder.

“When is Cas expecting you home?”

“Who cares? I can just tell him I’m spending the night, if you want.” He really wasn’t in the mood to get dressed and leave anytime soon, and it didn’t appear that Sam was, either.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

-

Their post-orgasmic, pre-dinner nap was ended by impatient whining from Lyla, reminding the couple that she still had yet to be fed dinner, and they should probably get on that.

Sam yawned and stretched to go feed her, putting his leg back on. Just as he was standing up to lock it in, Gabriel pulled him back down for one more quick kiss before he could leave. Sam was a very comfortable body pillow, and the second he’d gotten up, Gabriel wanted to pull him back under the covers with him. He just dozed, waiting for Sam to come back and fill up the rest of the bed.

When Sam walked back in, Gabriel was still just laying there, starting to drift off again. He was tempted to just stay there and sleep, but unfortunately, it was already nearly six, and it would be ill advised to skip dinner and spend all evening sleeping. Also, he still had to message Cas to let him know he’d be staying over.

“Babe, sweetheart, wake up. What do you want to eat?”

“Mmmm?” Came Gabe’s groggy reply, still processing the question. “Whatever you want’ll be fine. Now come back here. We can eat later.” Gabriel’s words slurred together a little when he was tired, but he didn’t really have the motivation to care.

Sam slid off his leg and crawled back in next to Gabriel, pulling the blanket up over them again, and moving back into him.

-

Twenty minutes later, when they finally dragged themselves back into consciousness, Gabriel _was_ starting to get a bit hungry. He wasn’t sure if it had been the bike ride or the activities that came after, but he’d certainly worked up an appetite.

Of course, it was much easier to just eat what Sam had around the place than to go out and get dinner for themselves, so Gabriel picked out a movie on netflix while Sam warmed up a can of vegetable stew on the stove. It was far from gourmet, but it wasn’t bad.

Once morning came, Gabriel was surprised to find that Sam somehow managed to know what his favorite cereal was, and buy a family-sized box of it. Gabriel was almost certain that the unopened box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch wasn’t Sam’s breakfast of choice. He knew that, of course, because Sam’s favorite was Honey Nut Cheerios, with half a cup of skim milk. Come to think of it, Gabe had no idea how he knew that.

XXX

The bike idea had been one of Sam’s best, even he had to admit. The look on Gabriel’s face when he saw the tandem was more than worth the hour of researching Sam’d had to do to find somewhere that rented them. Sam just hated thinking that the injury was holding Gabriel back from so many things. He was glad that, with this one at least, they could kind of compromise, and find a way that he didn’t have to totally give up biking.

It was a gorgeous time of year for it, and so far, today was one of the only moderately cool days of the month. Sam knew when he rented it that three hours would probably be a long time for Gabriel, but Sam was content to do as much peddling as he needed to.

There was nothing better than seeing that kind of happiness on Gabriel’s face. Sam knew all too well that adjusting after the accident couldn't have been easy, but he honestly hadn't heard Gabe complain about it. There was something about him that was incredibly optimistic in his outlook on life. It seemed like even when things went completely off course, Gabriel was more than content to do what he needed to make it work, rather than just sit there and pity himself. It was a refreshing dichotomy from Sam’s typical patient.

-

As all good things must come to an end, three hours passed by, and Sam had to bring Gabriel back to the car so he could return the bike again. It had been _quite_ the ride. Still, they could always do it again another time. For now, though, a break was in order. That, and some ice cream before they went back.

Sebastian Joe’s was packed, with at least a dozen or so people in line, but that really wasn't unusual. Sam was willing to wait—where else were you able to get strawberry basil sorbet in the city?

-

Sam hadn't been planning on any bedroom activities after their outing, but he wasn't going to object to the suggestion. What was there there to oppose?

Of course, the massage idea was sort of improvised. He had to get back at Gabriel for all the teasing _somehow_ and this way he was getting revenge and being a good boyfriend at the same time. Plus, therapy probably wouldn’t go too well if Gabriel was too stiff to move his legs that week.  
-

Voyeurism hadn't been on the agenda either, but once the thought passed his mind, Sam couldn’t think of anything else. The idea was firmly rooted now, of Gabe’s long slender fingers working their way up and down over himself.

He tried to watch Gabriel’s movements, but quickly became entranced by his facial expressions. Sam couldn’t tear his eyes away, and Gabriel probably knew it, judging by just how exaggerated he looked when he finally shuddered and came.

It didn't take a long time for Sam to follow, once he was out of his clothes.

Afterwards, he was too tired to protest taking a nap. It wasn’t like he had anything more important to be doing right then.

-

Sam wouldn’t really have minded missing dinner, except that he wanted to make sure Gabriel ate. Maybe he was being a little too overprotective, but everyone had to have _some_ flaw. If his was just making his boyfriend eat, then Sam figured there were worse issues to have.

Thankfully, there was still some soup left in Sam’s cupboards, so he could heat that up without going anywhere. Yes, it was June, not exactly prime soup season, but it was pretty much their best option. Sam asked Gabriel to find something for them to watch on Netflix while he looked for a pan and the can opener.

He wasn’t shocked to find that Gabriel’s pick was Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. They’d probably already watched it three times together. Then again, how could Sam object, considering Gabriel always sang along to Twist and Shout? Some things never got old and, he had admit, Gabe had a pretty nice voice.  
-

Once Gabriel was laying between Sam’s legs, head resting sideways on his chest, Sam’s thoughts began to wander again to Gabriel moving in. It would just be so great, to see him every morning, and drink coffee together before Sam left for work. To come home in the afternoon to Gabriel, and have someone to talk about his day to (besides Lyla.) There were so many things that would change if he moved in, but Sam was pretty sure that they would almost all be for the better. The only real negative he could see was having to share a bathroom, and that was minor enough.

Sure, they already messaged and called each other all the time, but it wasn’t the same as being there, together, in person. How people managed to survive in long-distance relationships, Sam could only imagine. The longer he thought about it, the more he wanted Gabriel staying with him permanently. Somehow, the perpetually alone, never-really-even-went-out guy that Sam had been in January, had miraculously transformed into the happy, personable, and slightly clingy man he was now. Gabriel had definitely changed him for the better.

Still, Sam had no idea when, or _how_ he was supposed to go about asking Gabriel to move in with him. Was six months too soon? It felt like they’d been together longer, but really it had only been half a year since Gabriel Novak had rolled (literally) into Sam’s life. And sam wasn’t even sure that either one of them was ready for a commitment like that right now. After the disaster that had been his last relationship, Sam was surprised to find himself trusting gabriel so wholeheartedly, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. Gabe had yet to hurt him in any way, but there was still the possibility, and that was scary to think about. Sam didn’t think it would ever actually happen, but wasn’t that always the way?

Sam’s middle name may as well have been self-doubting, because that’s exactly what he was. He would probably spend the rest of the night, and perhaps the rest of his life, going back and forth on the idea, never reaching an absolute conclusion. His heart had already made the decision that he wanted Gabriel to move in, but that wasn’t the best indicator of a wise resolution. After all, if Sam followed his mind a little more and his heart a little less, his life might have been a lot easier. But without his heart, he may never have gotten together with Gabriel in the first place. And so the cycle returned.

Maybe he should ask someone else for their opinions. If he’d known Cas better, Sam might have brought it up to him, but considering the two weren’t all that close, he wasn’t sure that he really should. And then there was Dean, who wasn’t exactly an expert on relationships. Finally, Sam decided that his best bet would probably be Jo, since she was his closest friend that actually seemed to have a clue how any of this worked. He decided he could call her the next day, after Gabriel had gone back to Cas’ place. Sam knew he was in dangerous territory now, if he’d suddenly stopped referring to the apartment as Cas and Gabe’s place. For the moment, however, he was just going to lay back and enjoy the rest of the evening, and the fact that Gabriel was here with him, even if he would have to go back in the morning. Maybe someday, possibly even someday _soon_ , he would just be able to stay, forever.

Sam resolved to not think about it any more until the next day, though. He brought his attention back to the movie again, fingers absentmindedly twisting and running through Gabriel’s hair.

-

The following morning, once he was alone again, Sam grabbed his phone, desperately hoping that Jo would answer quickly. He didn’t know how much longer he could go, flipping back and forth between his heart and his head. He needed some guidance here, before he did something he might regret.

She picked up on the third ring, her voice faking irritation.

“What do you want, Winchester?”

Sam grinned despite himself. Jo was the world’s best sister, even if they technically weren’t related, and he suddenly felt very lucky for her. Where would he be without Jo?

“Uh, I was hoping you could give me some advice, actually.”

“Oh no, what’d you do? I swear to god, Sam, it _must_ be bad if you’re coming to me instead of Dean.” She actually sounded concerned, and Sam almost laughed. She clearly had no idea what he was calling about.

“No, it’s not like that. I meant, like, relationship advice. Clearly, Dean’s not the man for the job.”

“Ooh, something happening with Gabriel? All right, Sammy, you’ve got my attention. What d’you need to ask?” Jo sounded giddy now, although he’d kind of expected as much. Sam bit his lip, suddenly wondering why he’d thought calling Jo would be a good idea. She was probably going to make him regret telling her anything.

“Well, we’ve only been together for about six months, but… I’m thinking about asking him to move in with me.”

There was a pause while he waited for Jo to respond, and after a second or two, Sam was starting to get nervous. Silence was never a good thing, in his experience.

“Well, if you’ve thought about it, and you’re _really_ sure you want to, then I think you should. But it would probably be best not to ask just yet. Give it a little more time, take some small steps first. Have you given him a key to your place already?”

“Jo, he can’t drive, what is he going to do with a key?” _Had she actually forgotten that Gabriel was in a wheelchair? What the hell was he supposed to do with a freaking key?_

“It’s not about the key itself, asshat, it’s _symbolic._ God, it’s a good thing you called to ask me, it’s obvious you’re hopeless. How were you planning on asking him about it, anyway?”

To be honest, Sam hadn’t planned anything like that yet. He wasn’t even completely sure he was going to ask at all, so he didn’t entirely know how to answer.

“I don’t know. I was just gonna say something like ‘hey, wanna move in?’ and hope he said yes.” Now, saying it out loud, he was starting to feel like an idiot. _Thanks, Jo._

“Okay, that could use a little work. I mean, it’s good that you’re making it casual, since you don’t want to pressure him, but you might want to at least make it sound like you care. He should know that you’ve actually thought about it.”

She was right, and Sam knew it. Gabriel wouldn’t take it seriously if he thought Sam didn’t.

“Makes sense. But you don’t think I should ask him yet?” Sam asked again, just for confirmation. He wanted to know how long he would have to wait, if today was too soon.

“Not quite, no. Give him the key, and see how he takes it. I don’t know how serious the two of you are, and maybe it’s been long enough, but just in case, I’d wait a little longer. Better safe than sorry.”

“Yeah, I guess. Thanks, Jo.”

“Anytime, Sam. Anything else you wanted to talk about?”

Sam hesitated, trying to think if he had anything more to ask her. Keeping Jo on speed dial was kind of like having a personal therapist at his immediate disposal, but he didn’t like to call her too often with his problems. Since she was already on the phone now, he might as well get it all out there.

“Um, there might be one more thing….”

“And what might that be?” Jo’s voice was full of curiosity, like she couldn’t wait to hear some piece of juicy gossip about somebody.

“Well, it’s kind of related to the whole moving in thing, I guess. Do you think it’d be weird to ask him what he wants in the future? I mean, I guess it’s kind of important for me to know, so I don’t end up wasting my time, if he’s not looking for anything permanent, you know?”

Jo took a deep breath, like she always did when she was trying to be careful about her word choice.

“I think that you should be sure that you both want the same things, but there are certain ways that you _should_ bring it up, and ways that you shouldn’t. Like the moving in thing, it’s kind of a big deal, and you don’t want to scare him or anything by doing it wrong.”

“Yeah, obviously. So what do you suggest, oh Magic 8 Ball?”

“Well, first, never call me that again. Second, I think you should ask that _before_ offering for him to move in. Maybe you could make it conversational, something like ‘what do you think your life’s gonna be like in twenty years?’ or something of that effect. Just a thought.”

“Makes sense. Thanks for everything. Tell Ellen I said hi.”

“No problem. Good luck!”

At least now he had some idea of what to do. First things first, he had to go get a copy key for his apartment. Then he had to start thinking about how, and when, he was going to ask all of these questions.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave feedback ;)


	11. Chapter 11

The summer months began to fade away, but Sam and Gabriel’s relationship certainly didn’t escape with them. Things had been getting serious for a while now. The decisions weren’t even conscious, usually, they just sort of happened.

Gabe was spending more and more time at Sam’s house, and the two were spending a lot more time with each other’s friends and family lately. Sam had even given him a key to his apartment, which was kind of funny. He knew that the key was only a formality, and that it was the sentiment that mattered, but it was still a little strange to give someone a key to somewhere they couldn’t actually go to on their own.

Luckily, it appeared that he might finally be making some progress in that regard. Gabriel was now able to stand on his own, and walk short distances with support. It was exciting, being able to do more and more things by himself, even if they were still small things. Hopefully he would be able to drive again by this time in a year.

-

It was getting close to the end of August, and he was spending his third day in a row at Sam’s place, which was nothing new. Gabriel had technically run out of clean clothes the day before, but he hadn’t felt like going back home, so he was now drowning in a pair of Sam’s shorts. Sometimes dating a giant had its downsides.

“Sam, I really have to go back to the apartment. You’ve got work in the morning, and I don’t have my laptop, or clothes, or anything. You know I’d stay if I were able.”

Sam frowned, looking rather concentrated for a minute before responding.

“What if you could?”

“Sam, be realistic. I need some clean pants my size. That, and I have, like, four clients lined up right now. I can’t stay.”

“No, I didn’t mean _right_ now. I meant, you know, _staying_ here.”

_Permanently?_

“Sam, what are you asking here?” Even though he was fairly sure he knew what Sam meant, Gabriel had to ask for confirmation, just to be sure.

“Do you want to move in with me? You don’t have to say yes, but would you think about it?” Sam stuttered a little, clearly nervous for Gabe’s response. 

Moving in would be huge. Technically, they already spent just about all of their free time together, or wishing that they were, but this was so formal. It wouldn’t just be hanging out anymore. They would be _living together._ Gabriel hadn’t been in a lot of very committed relationships, but it wasn’t too late to change that. 

“Yeah. I’ll think about it.”

And, by think about it, what Gabe really meant was that he would go home and freak out, until Cas slapped some sense into him and brought him back down to earth. He loved Sam. He loved every moment they spent together, from waking up together to going to bed next to him, and all the time they spent together in between. Of course he wanted to move in with him. It didn’t even really need asking.

“Okay. Take your time, I want you to be sure about things. And you’re right, I should probably take you back for the week. With those clothes on, you kinda look even shorter than usual. No offense” Sam joked, removing some of the pressure of the conversation. 

Gabriel was glad Sam was able to ease the tension so simply, before he got too caught up in his own mind, and overthought things until he freaked out. It was far too easy to get carried away, so he was grateful to have a distraction, at least for the moment.

He smiled and agreed, collecting his dirty laundry and saying goodbye to Lyla.

-

Once sam had dropped him off, and he and Cas were alone, Gabriel was just about ready to burst.

“What’s new?” Cas asked in what seemed like a very casual manner, considering Gabe was ten seconds away from exploding. The offer was all he’d been able to think about, for the entire ride here. Gabe knew that he probably wouldn’t be capable of telling Sam no, even if he wanted to. Luckily, he didn’t.

“Sam asked me to move in with him.”

Cas looked up at him with wide eyes. “Really? What’d you say?” He couldn’t completely read Cas’ face, but Gabe thought he looked a little disappointed by the news.

Gabriel hadn’t even really thought about the fact that he’d be leaving Cas behind if he moved, but of course, it was true. Yeah, Cas had lived on his own for years before the accident, but it was possible that he just liked having Gabriel here. There weren’t exactly a lot of people in the kid’s life.

Gabe continued, trying to tone down his excitement, knowing Cas might not appreciate hearing about how eager he was to leave.

“Well, I said I would think about it. I haven’t really decided yet, for sure.”

It was sort of a lie, since Gabriel definitely knew what he _wanted_ to say, but it looked talking it through with his brother might change his mind on the subject. He at least wanted to _consider_ whatever Cas had to say.

“Do you want to?” Cas tone was just as unreadable as his face.

“Want to think about it, or want to say yes?” 

“Do you want to move in with Sam? Because, if you do, I think you should.”

It took a second for him to process, before breaking into a smile.

“You really think so?” Gabriel wasn’t quite sure if he was hearing his brother correctly, because it sounded like Cas had just suggested he move in with Sam.

“I think you guys are really good for each other. I don’t see why not. Besides, he only lives a few blocks away. It’s a lot closer than your old place was.”

While that was all true, Gabe also recognized that they had gotten a lot closer in the last few months, and that “his old place” was long gone by now. It was going to be really weird, not living with Cas again.

“Yeah, I know, but...you’re sure? I mean, aside from the tiny-ass hallways and that ancient elevator, I like living here, too.” 

Cas rolled his eyes, smiling at Gabe like you would at an oblivious kid.

“Gabriel. I’m an adult. I can, and _have_ lived on my own. As long as you promise to visit, or allow me to, then I don’t see any reason to object.”

“Well _obviously_ I’m not going to cut contact with you just ‘cause I’m living at Sam’s.”

“I didn’t think you would. And you already spend a lot of your time there, anyway.” Cas didn’t really sound bitter about it, either, just observant. 

“Okay, uh...wow. So I’m moving in with Sam, then. I should probably let him know, huh?”

“You did tell him you were going to think about it. I’m sure he’s not expecting an answer quite yet.”

Well, whether he was _expecting_ to hear back this soon or not, Gabriel knew that Sam was probably still waiting by the phone, waiting to hear whatever Gabriel had decided on about the offer, Rather than sit around and stew when he’d already made up his mind, Gabe decided to put Sam out of his misery. Pulling out his cell, he debated sending a long explanation that didn’t really matter, or just getting to the point. He prefered the second option.

It would have been more meaningful to call, but as nervous as he was, Gabriel thought it would be less embarrassing to just send him a text.

_Yes_

It wasn’t even a full minute before Sam’s response came in, verifying Gabe’s suspicions.

**_Seriously?_ **

_Seriously._

**_How soon do you want to do it?_ **

He would’ve said “now,” but that didn’t sound entirely doable. So, he settled for the soonest time that did, hoping that it would work for Sam.

_I’m good with next weekend, if you’re okay with that._

**_That would be great. How much stuff do you have to move?_ **

Gabriel had to think about what he still had in storage before responding, but he figured they could do it all in a weekend. Less time with help. He figured between two or three cars, it might only take a couple of trips.

**_Sounds good. I can get Dean to help, and if Cas is free, maybe you could ask him._ **

He couldn’t help rolling his eyes at that last part..

_Cas is ALWAYS free._

Six more days. He would have to pack up the things he had here, and then they would drive to the unit to get the rest of his things. He was grateful that Sam’s vehicle would be able to haul a lot, because Cas’ certainly wouldn’t.

-

By Friday, the apartment looked almost like it had the day he moved in. All of his belongings were boxed up and ready to go, and the next morning, Sam and Dean would be over bright and early to help take things out.

-

After the Winchesters arrived, brief introductions between Dean and Cas were made, and before he knew it, the cars were loaded up, and he was leaving his brother’s apartment for the last time. Or, at least, for the last time as a resident.

They dropped the first load of his things off before heading to the storage unit, where they had to pack all of the cars rather tightly. Everything fit, just barely, in one trip.

-

Both Dean and Cas stuck around while they unpacked everything, so the four decided to go out for dinner and drinks together afterwards.

Cas and Dean hit it off pretty well, it seemed, and he was glad to see Cas socializing with someone. He was especially happy that it was with Sam’s family. It was nice that they all got along. 

-

Once they all departed, Gabe was eager to go back to his new home, and it was clear that Sam was, too. And hey, they probably had a little bit of “breaking in” to do, now that it was officially _their_ bedroom and all.

-

When they finally settled in for the night, Gabriel took a minute or two to just take everything in. No going back to Cas’ the next morning, or even the one after that. No more borrowing Sam’s deodorant when he forgot his own. They were actually living together. 

Lyla seemed to catch on that something was different this time too, and he didn’t even mind when she joined the two of them on the bed later that night. Yes, it would have been preferable if she hadn’t taken up half the space, but that just meant that Sam had to hold him closer, so it was okay in the end.

-

Rolling over the next morning and gazing into deep hazel eyes, Gabe knew he’d made the right decision. He would never, ever get tired of waking up like this. Something about Sam’s face showed that he felt the same way, and his lazy half smile was enough to prompt one of Gabe’s own. He couldn’t remember being so happy in his life. Everyone deserved this kind of happiness. 

-

Even after Sam had left for work on Monday, Gabe still prefered this to his previous living situation. For one thing, he wasn’t alone during the day, which was nice. The light pouring in through the front window made this place so much...cheerier. 

He took some time to just drink it all in, bask in what was now _their_ living room, and _their_ kitchen. “Their” was quickly becoming one of Gabriel’s favorite words.

When he finally started work, he had an email about working on a site for a wedding planner, and even though he knew he was nowhere near being ready for that, it didn’t stop him from daydreaming about the day he would be. What it would be like, what he’d wear, what he’d say in his vows. Up until recently, he hadn’t even thought about marriage being in the cards for himself, but now, he could easily name someone he’d consider spending the rest of his life with.

-

When he opened the fridge to get lunch, Gabriel was surprised to find a note stuck to the shelf, in what was unmistakably Sam’s handwriting.

_Hey, babe -I forgot to get more bread, but there’s some tortillas in the drawer, and I think there are still a couple of cans of soup left. See you in a few hours! ~Sam  
P.S.- there’s chocolate ice cream in the freezer_

Yup. Sam was definitely the one. (Not to mention the fact that his handwriting was actually adorable, even if it was a bit messy.)

-

Gabe saw Lyla jump up a minute before he heard Sam walk inside. It hadn’t occurred to him until that moment that he hadn’t really known when Sam usually got back from work. He was happy to note that it was earlier than he would’ve expected. The less time Sam was at work, the more time they were together in the afternoons. Gabe was actually eager to hear about Sam’s day, and just sit and talk for a while.

Almost as soon as he was through the door, Sam was walking over to deliver a nice, sweet “I’m back” kiss, and Gabe honestly wasn’t sure at this point if they were still in the “honeymoon phase” of their relationship, or if the two of them were just destined to be this sappy forever. It would’ve been an awfully long time to consider “honeymoon,” so he sincerely hoped the latter were true. They could be one of those couples who were still disgustingly in love, even years and years after they first got together. The kind of couple that everyone hated, but was secretly jealous of. 

In his mind, Gabe wasn’t even worried about the fact that he’d sort of just assumed they would last. How could they not? He and Sam were probably soul mates, if that were a real thing. Just because they didn’t need an altar and a minister _right now_ didn’t mean that they never would.

“How was work?” Gabe asked, pushing a loose section of Sam’s hair behind his ear.

Gabriel had to smile at how domestic it all seemed, especially when compared to a rather promiscuous past. He loved that. He had no idea why people seemed to associate domestic with boring. This was like a dream.

“Not too bad. Nothing new, though. How about you?”

“Pretty good. Oh, and I liked your note, by the way.”

Sam smiled at that, and Gabriel decided that the next day, he would pack Sam’s lunch, and it would include a note of his own. That, and he had an idea he wanted to try, that was probably possible now, thanks to his recent increase in mobility.

When it came time to actually make the lunch, he wished that he’d planned this a little further ahead of time, suddenly seeing the flaw in his idea. He couldn’t offer much in the way of cooking, and certainly not without Sam noticing. He eventually just decided to just play it safe and make a sandwich. While the meal may have been rather unimpressive, the note was sort of the whole point, anyways. He could easily get into the habit of exchanging notes with Sam, assuming Sam was capable of reading his handwriting in the first place. 

He smiled mischievously as he wrote the note, carefully folding it and tucking it in alongside the food, so that Sam wouldn’t find it until he ate lunch. Until then, Gabriel could just work, and wait for Sam’s response, if he sent one.

x x x 

After his initial excitement for the idea had faded, Sam started to have serious doubts about asking Gabriel to move in with him. For some reason, all of a sudden he kept contradicting himself, worrying that Gabe was going to reject him or something. It took almost another two weeks for him to finally work up enough nerve to ask, and it was hardly a formal proposal, even then.

“Sam, I really have to go back home. You’ve got work in the morning, and I don’t have my laptop, or  
clothes, or anything. You know I’d stay if I could.”

And those were the words he’d been waiting for. “I’d stay if I could.” For some reason, that was all it took, and now the words were spilling out of Sam’s mouth before he even knew what he was saying.

“What if you could?”

Sam just needed to get the offer out there, make sure Gabriel knew it was on the table. Maybe then he’d be able to get some peace, knowing that at least he _tried_.

Of course, Gabriel had asked for more time to think about it, which was understandable. Sam should have figured he wouldn’t be sold on the idea right that second. Moving was a big deal, and just the fact that he was going to _consider_ the idea made Sam’s heart skip. There was a possibility, and that was enough.

Still, he was going to have to take Gabriel home in the meantime, which would leave him alone to his thoughts, where he would inevitably worry about it until he got an answer. Hopefully, Gabe would be able to make a decision soon, whatever course of action he chose.

-

Gabriel looked like he was happier when he got dropped off than usual, so Sam was going to cling to that hope until he heard back from him. He was still a little worried that he’d suggested it too soon, but when _were_ you supposed to ask something like that? Eight months seemed like long enough, right?

Sam sat on the couch and fretted for at least ten minutes before finally getting up and just splashing some water on his face. He had to get it together. Even if Gabriel said no, things were still going to be okay. Except that now that it was out in the open, Sam didn’t know how he was supposed to handle a no. He might be just a little _too_ ready for them to live together.

It wasn’t much later that he got a reply, and he unlocked his phone with nervous fingers. he wasn’t so sure what to make of the quick response time. Only one way to know for sure, though.

**_Yes_ **

Oh thank god. Thank god thank god thank god. 

_Seriously?_

And apparently, Gabe was also of the opinion that sooner would be better. This was happening. Gabriel was going to come over this weekend _for good._ And now that he was calmed down enough, Sam could celebrate. He guzzled down half a beer out of excitement, before calling his brother to see if he could help with the move. 

Dean picked up on the last ring, and from the sound of it, his mouth was half full of food. Of course. 

“Uh, hey, Dean. Are you busy this weekend? Like, Saturday, mostly?”

He heard Dean swallow before he answered.

“Yeah, I think so. What’s up? This doesn’t sound like your usual ‘Let’s go to the bar for some drinks’ call. What’s going on Saturday?”

Sam had meant to tell Dean before he asked Gabriel, but for some reason, he just hadn’t. Now, though, Dean was going to hear all about it. 

“Well, um, I kinda need a favor. See, I was talking to Gabriel today, and, he’s sort of moving in.”

There was a sarcastic throat clearing from the other end, if clearing your throat could even sarcastic.

“ _Sort of_ moving in? How does that work, exactly?”

“Okay, he’s just moving in. He’s got some stuff at Cas’ place, but he still has a lot of things in storage, and we were hoping with some help that it would be a one day job.”

“Wow. That’s...big. Good for you guys. What time should I be over on Saturday?” It was surprising how quickly Dean dropped the teasing, but maybe he was just saving it for moving day.

“We still gotta work that out, but I can give you directions to Cas’ place. It’s not too far from mine.”

“Okay, that sounds good. And Cas is Gabe’s brother, right?”

“Right. He’s a nice guy.”

“Alright, cool. Let me know what time and address.”

“Sounds good, and thanks.”

“No problem. I’m happy for you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Me too.”

“See ya Saturday, then.”

“See you.”

Dean didn’t sound too upset that Sam hadn’t told him. Granted, at twenty eight, he shouldn’t have to ask for his brother’s permission before making a decision, but it was still pretty uncommon not to run things by him first. 

\- 

The rest of the week went faster than he had expected, and Thursday at therapy, Gabe couldn’t stop talking about how great living together was going to be. Sam, obviously, agreed. They wouldn’t just be together on the weekends anymore. They would get to be together _every day._

-

Saturday morning, Dean and Sam pulled up at the same time, and thankfully, everything was already packed up and ready to be hauled. Clearly, Gabe had been working on it throughout the week. While he wasn’t able to help carry any boxes, Gabriel managed to get to the car without help, aside from his cane. He was making a pretty good recovery, and Sam couldn’t be happier about it.

Dean and Cas were introduced while they took over the first load, from Cas’ place. The storage unit wasn’t very far, and by a little after noon, all the boxes were piled in Sam’s living room. He actually had no idea what he was going to do with some of Gabriel’s things, now that he was seeing it all. For instance, what use was it going to be to have a second TV, or more furniture? There was probably room for just about all of it, but some things just seemed completely unnecessary.

Dean and Cas stayed to help out, but Cas had no idea where anything went, and Dean didn’t really want to go through Gabriel’s personal belongings, so most of the time they were just off in the corner talking, while Sam and Gabe put everything in place, or sorted into a pile of things to sell and donate.

Once everything was finished, the four left for an early dinner, and Sam couldn’t help noticing the way his brother was looking at Cas. Whether Dean would ever admit it, it was no surprise to Sam that his brother wasn’t exactly straight-as-a-board, either. Granted, he was a little lower on the Kinsey scale than Sam himself, but that didn’t say a lot. Hopefully, Dean would realize this for himself someday, because the “typical straight guy” act was getting a little old.

-

Their first night together after Gabriel moved in was different, in a way that was difficult to explain. It was like all of a sudden something that they’d already been doing for months was new, and there was even something different about the way it all felt, pressed up against Gabriel, knowing that he was there to stay. Even though Sam had lived here for years now, it felt like he was coming home for the first time.

-

Sunday was mostly devoted to just hanging around and being lazy, and in Sam’s mind, there was no better way to spend a day. It was just starting to cool down outside, and the view from his apartment showed the trees in all their colors. Autumn had always been his favorite season, and this year didn’t seem to be an exception. He only slightly regretted that he probably wouldn’t be going on too many longer hikes this year. There were more important things to do with his time anyways.

-

Sam kind of hated that he had to get up and leave to go to work on Monday, but knowing that Gabe would be there when he got home was enough to keep Sam’s spirits mostly high all throughout the day. Adam even asked what was up at lunch, and since he’d long since given up on the idea of hiding things with Gabriel at work, Sam eagerly told him about Gabriel moving in, and how excited he was to go home and see him, and probably a million other things Adam didn’t honestly care about.

Adam, despite being impeccably heterosexual, never even bat an eye at anyone else’s orientation. It was one of the reasons he and Sam had become friends so easily. That, and the fact that when he started, they were the only guys working at the clinic under thirty five years old. Actually, they were two of the only guys working there, period.

He congratulated Sam, and mentioned that they hadn’t done anything together in a really long time. Sam hadn’t even noticed, but instead of hanging out outside of work every few weeks like they usually did, he and Adam actually hadn’t even watched a game or anything in months. He’d been so caught up in Gabriel that his other friends were becoming sort of an afterthought. 

“Damn, it _has_ been a while, hasn’t it? Maybe the three of us could do something, and I could introduce you and Gabriel.”

Sam had to tell himself that he hadn’t suggested that so that he wouldn’t have to leave Gabe behind. He just wanted them to get to know each other, that was all. Nothing wrong with introducing your boyfriend to your other friends.

Adam just smiled and nodded, letting Sam know that that would be great, and he should let him know when he wanted to set something up. 

-

The interaction at lunch had actually left Sam feeling a little worried. _What, and_ who _else had he been neglecting lately? Had he really only seen Jo and Ellen_ once _since his birthday?_ Yeah, he’d been spending a lot of time with Gabriel lately, but Sam hadn’t honestly thought that it was taking over his life or anything. He was in a relationship. Couples spent plenty of time together. It certainly seemed healthy enough to him. He just needed to remember to make a little extra time for everyone else.

He pushed the thoughts from his head once his next patient walked in, and work occupied his mind for the rest of the day, keeping his mind from drifting back to any uncomfortable subjects. He could think about all that stuff later, today was not the time. He was happy, Gabe was happy, and anything else could wait until later. He failed to see the irony in that thought, although that was the exact reasoning that had led to this problem in the first place. 

-

Once Sam got home, he was even happier than he’d expected to be when he saw Gabriel there, and the joy was reflected on his boyfriend’s face as well. Maybe Mondays weren’t going to be quite so bad anymore. He certainly had more motivation to make it through the day. 

He blushed a little when Gabriel brought up the note, but thankfully it did remind him that they were still out of bread. Sam really just needed to start keeping a grocery list, with a short term memory as bad as his own

-

When he woke up the next morning, Gabe was already at the table, and on they way out he handed him a home packed meal, making Sam promise not to open it until lunch.

Whatever the hell game Gabriel was playing, Sam was almost certain that he was going to be all for it. 

-

He definitely wasn’t disappointed, when he opened up the bag to find a note of Gabe’s own inside. After he was able to decipher the handwriting, which admittedly took a couple of minutes, Sam thought it might have been the cutest note he’d ever seen.

_Hey babe, happy fourth day of living together! Please accept my sincerest apologies for the peanut butter and nutella sandwich - we can’t all be masterchef material._  
Anyways, I hope you’re having a great day (miss you already.)  
Don’t waste all your energy at work, either, because I might just have something planned for later tonight. 

_Love, Gabriel_

The bottom of the note had a lovely drawing of a winky face, and Sam tucked the note away in his pocket for safekeeping. He was totally saving this to embarrass Gabe with later. What were boyfriends for, after all?

While he may have been right about the peanut butter and nutella sandwich, Sam still appreciated the gesture. Overall, it was still one of the most enjoyable lunches he’d had.

-

Gabriel didn’t disappoint on the promise for later that evening, either, as Sam quickly discovered.

Things had looked pretty normal when he got home, but Gabriel told him to rest assured, that as soon as they’d finished dinner, he would find out what he’d meant by “something planned for later.” Sam couldn’t remember a time in his life he’d eaten so fast.


	12. Chapter 12

Gabriel had been planning to try this since he’d gained motion back in his legs, but there had never been a decent opportunity until he’d moved in.

Technically, he’d done it before, but it was going to be a lot harder with two people who weren’t going to be able to stand independently. Thankfully, Sam had lived here a while now, and the shower was decent sized, with a built in bench. Shower size had probably been a selling point on the place, actually, if Gabriel had any grasp on how difficult it was to shower while balancing on one leg.

He wasn’t even totally sold on _doing_ anything in the shower, other than just getting clean. They could always have sex afterwards on the bed. There was just something incredibly sexy about being naked and close to somebody, while in a tight, steamy space. He hoped Sam was as on board with the idea as he was.

After dinner, Gabriel had just told Sam to go get in the shower, and then he would let him know what the plans were. While Sam was a little disappointed about having to wait more, but he did as he was told, and got into the shower.

Once he was undressed, had removed his leg, and was just about to turn on the water, Sam heard a knock on the door.

_Seriously, dude? You’re the one who told me to take a shower. You coulda done that first._

Sam grabbed the railing and wrapped a towel around his waist, before hopping across the floor to open the door, and realizing that it was unnecessary. Before him stood his boyfriend, very cute, and very much not dressed. 

“So, how do these plans sound? You help me to the shower, and we run up the utility bill together?”

Considering he’d been expecting Gabriel to do something different and elaborate _while_ he was in the shower, Sam was a little bit surprised by how simple the idea was. Simple, but nice. He could easily get behind that.

“Yeah? I don’t exactly know how I’m supposed to help _you_ back to the shower” he said, with a dramatic gesture to his leg, or lack thereof. Gabriel smiled at him and reached out take his arm. Sam linked their arms and they made their way back to the shower, albeit a little awkwardly. Gabe couldn’t stop himself from laughing when Sam’s towel slid onto the floor of it’s own accord halfway there, and they nearly tripped over it.

Eventually they were effectively situated on the bench, which was wide enough, just barely, for the two of them to sit. With any luck, however, he would be sitting on Sam’s lap soon enough anyway.

Sam turned on the water, and it was already warm as soon as it started. Perks of a nice apartment.

Before Sam could start washing his hair, Gabriel was pouring shampoo into his own hands, and massaging it into his scalp, before rinsing it all out again. Sam did the same for him, and as soon as the suds were gone again, Gabriel was pressing their mouths together. He was usually the one to initiate things, and tonight was no different. Still, Sam was quick to return the kiss, opening his mouth to deepen it.

Soon, they were making out heavily, and because they were both naked, there was no way of hiding how hard either man was. Sam had already pulled Gabriel onto his lap, and Gabriel slowly reached for his hand and led it back behind himself, placing the flat of Sam’s palm against his ass. Sam looked at him questioningly, and Gabriel nodded confirmation, before Sam slid in over and began circling his rim, teasing it with the tip before finally sliding in his index finger, up to the first knuckle.

Gabriel tensed around him for a minute, but forced himself to relax so Sam could slide it in further. It wasn’t like they hadn’t done this before, but he still had to remind himself not to be so tight when they started.

Sam waited a minute before sliding it all the way in, and kept it there while he gave Gabriel another kiss. He pulled it out, bit by bit, so slowly that Gabriel didn’t even notice, before sliding it back in a little faster. Sam was still blindingly hard, but he always took his time on prep.

After several more thrusts with the first finger, he added a second, scissoring the two once they were both fully inside. He maneuvered them as much as he could to stretch things out, and Gabe moaned out as they passed over a certain spot inside, one which Sam was so accustomed to finding now that he could do it in his sleep.

Gabriel’s prostate received one more stroke before Sam pulled out again and thrust in with three fingers, proceeding to scissor and stretch him open the rest of the way. He continued to do so until Gabe put a hand on his chest, nodding that he could continue on.

Pulling out his fingers as gently as he could, Sam grabbed his cock and lined up, lifting Gabe’s hips and sliding him down, going about halfway and holding him there for a second before continuing. Once he had bottomed out, he waited, unmoving for Gabe to signal that he was ready.

Gabe kissed him, and Sam gripped his hips again and began sliding in and out shallowly. He was almost positive that there would be bruises from the grip, but he wasn’t sure how else to do this. Gabriel didn’t seem to mind, and just put his tongue back into Sam’s mouth.

Sam began going deeper and deeper, always being careful to make sure Gabe could take it, before making his thrusts harder. He heard a long groan as he slid all the way in, right against Gabriel’s prostate. Both of them were practically seeing stars.

Gabe could feel himself stretching around Sam, and even though there was a faint burn, he didn’t mind it at all. He knew that things would probably be sore the next morning, but that wouldn’t be an issue, since he wasn’t going anywhere, anyways. It was totally worth it.

Almost as soon as Sam hit his prostate dead on for the first time, he was angling himself the same way on every thrust, and it wasn’t long before he could feel himself getting close. Gabriel wrapped a hand around himself, stroking in time with Sam’s movements, picking up quickly. 

He was right on the edge when Sam bent his head down to lick at one of his nipples. As soon as he did it, Gabriel was gone. With a cry of Sam’s name, he came, painting both of their chests before the steady stream of water could wash it all away again.

With a few more messy thrusts, Sam was coming as well, deep inside of Gabriel. His grip tightened even more, and if there hadn’t been bruises before, there certainly would be now. He rode it out, bringing Gabriel up and down a couple more times before he was finished. He stopped for a second to breathe, before pulling out, doing his best to make it painless.

The sat back and took a minute to rest with their foreheads together, before Sam gingerly moved his hand back to help clean Gabriel again, making sure not put too much pressure on over-sensitive areas.

After he was satisfied that he’d done a sufficient job, and that they were clean enough, Sam helped Gabriel and himself back out of the shower.

There was still only one towel in the bathroom, so Sam just dried off his hair quickly before handing it to Gabe and grabbing to cane, hobbling out to the linen closet to grab another.

He came back in, first drying off his leg enough to put on the prosthetic, before towelling off the rest and helping Gabe back up. He set him down on the bed before moving over to the drawers and pulling out a pair of lounge pants for each of them, not bothering with boxers.

Sam shut off the lights, leaving the bedside lamp on, before joining Gabriel on their bed. He was getting tired already, after their night’s activities, and it seemed that Gabe was in the same position.   
Once pants were on and the leg was off, he pulled the blanket up over them both, and pulled the cord on the lamp.

With Sam curled up behind him, arm slung over his waist, Gabriel always felt an odd sort of sense of security, and he seemed to sleep better whenever Sam was there. Considering that he _also_ had a tenancy to sleep better after sex, Gabe was out in less than ten minutes. 

Their fingers were still threaded together when he fell asleep, and Sam was surprised and pleased to find that they still were in the morning. He squeezed them quickly to wake up Gabriel, who rolled over, only to bury his head into Sam’s chest and continue sleeping.

Sam thought momentarily of making him wake up, so that he could go get ready for work, but when he looked over at the clock, he figured they could wait another half hour or so before he _really_ had to get out of bed.

Setting an alarm quickly, Sam turned back to Gabriel and curled in again. If he only had thirty minutes, he didn’t want to waste it. Brushing a stray lock of hair out of Gabriel’s eyes, he smiled down at him, trying to imagine how in the world he had gotten to be so lucky.

When the constant beeping started shortly after, it felt like both an eternity, and no time at all had passed. Sam would have given anything in the world to have just stayed there and laid in bed with Gabriel all day, but unfortunately he had a job to do, and he couldn’t really call in sick. At least the next day was Thursday.

They’d already decided that on Thursdays, Sam would just drop Gabe off at the little coffee house two doors down from the clinic, and he could work there until the appointment. They had free wifi, and this way Cas would get his lunch hour back, and Sam would still be able to keep all of his session times. 

Gabe wasn’t entirely fond of the thought of getting up and leaving home that early, but he had to agree that until he was able to drive himself, this was still the best option. He’d looked into changing session times to see if there was anything that would work better, but it would have meant switching therapists, and he decided it would be easier to just stick with Sam and go along with this plan instead.

Sam managed to make his way through work on Wednesday, still riding on a total high. It was like every time he remembered that Gabriel and himself were together, and that they lived together, and he could see him almost whenever he wanted, Sam’s heart skipped a beat. He had never been quite so head over heels for anyone before, and it was about damn time for it, too. 

Thursday was a success, and since Gabriel was one of the only patrons at the coffee place for most of the day, the signal had been pretty strong, and he’d gotten a lot done. Lyla was very excited when they were finally home, since she had gotten used to having company during the daytime.

There was only one more workday before Sam got to spend the entire weekend with Gabriel, in their apartment, not having to pick him up or take him back to Cas’ at all. Two whole days together, with no work to interrupt them. It almost sounded too good to be true, and Friday couldn’t go by fast enough. 

As soon as he was through the front door the next day, he was relaxed and ready for what he’d already decided was going to be the greatest weekend of his life. It started the second he saw Gabriel sitting on the couch, smiling up at him brightly. Gabe just had a smile that could melt your heart. Fortunately, Sam’s had already been a puddle of sap, long before today. He grinned back, walking over to him on the couch, grabbing his hand and capturing his lips in a kiss.

“How was your day, Sam I am?”

“Pretty good, Gabe my babe.” Sam wasn’t sure where the ending of that sentence had come from, but it got a laugh, at least.

“That’s a new one. What d’you want to do this weekend, Samcakes?”

And wasn’t that just the question of the day? Sam had yet to think of an activity wonderful enough to be worthy of their first weekend together, but he had yet to decide on anything.

“I don’t know, honestly. What about you? Any ideas?”

Gabriel sat in thought for a minute. In all honesty, he was perfectly content to do nothing at all, and just sit around with Sam and talk, but it seemed like an awful shame to waste such a lovely weekend. It was probably going to be one of the last warm ones of the year. Labor day was the following week, and temperatures always dropped in September.

“What about an apple orchard? I’m sure we can find some that are open.”

Sam’s smile spread slowly, into a full on grin.

“Man, I haven’t been apple picking in _years._ That would be great!”

Sam’s enthusiasm alone was enough to get Gabriel to do something. Plus, it was the perfect season for apples, and Gabe knew how to make a mean caramel dip.

Truth be told, he hadn’t been apple picking since a field trip in third grade, but Sam had always loved the concept of them. Just fields and fields of trees, and going outside and hanging out in the sun while you picked fruit. Pumpkin patches were similar, but they also had autumn trees, which were always gorgeous. They’d have to do that sometime, too.

They had to drag themselves out of bed fairly early, which Gabriel almost regretted, but tired Sammy was just too cute. He was positively bedraggled, and he was almost grumpy, but not quite.

Once both of them were successfully clothed and caffeinated, Sam couldn’t get out the door fast enough. Gabe was a little slower himself, held back by his injury. Unfortunately, he’d decided that once he could walk, he really needed to stop relying on Sam’s help so much, or he was never going to get better. As it was, he was already far too dependent on him.

They’d picked a nice place, sort of far away, which gave them a nice, long car ride there. The scenery was beautiful, and as soon as they got into the rural parts, it was all just green and trees, and a few little farms here and there. It was very “country living” out here, and it was so peaceful you almost never wanted to leave.

When they finally pulled up, Gabe begrudgingly let Sam help him out of the car, and they headed in to get buckets for their harvests. The little store inside also sold pie, which smelled like heaven itself, and Sam made a mental note to pick one of those up before they left.

Gabriel was still walking a little awkwardly, but just the fact that eighth months ago he’d thought he’d be paralyzed forever, walking at all was still sort of incredible. So, with that in mind, he would take whatever progress he could get.

The haralson’s, which they’d agreed were the best kind, happened to also be the furthest away, and eventually Gabriel gave in and climbed onto Sam’s shoulders, swearing that it was the last time. Even if Sam did have really strong, really broad shoulders.

Sam finally set him down, and they were suddenly alone among the rows and rows of trees. Apparently, nobody else had thought the walk was worth it. Most of the other families had stuck to the front.

They filled the first of the baskets quickly, finding the best ones they could, before they started running out of ripe ones. With a sigh, Gabe got _back_ on Sam’s back again, in hopes of reaching the better ones towards the top. He had to admit, the view from that high up was pretty nice. If only he’d been born taller.

Gabriel was almost done filling up the second basket, when he spotted the perfect apple. It looked like a painting, like a gift from god himself. He had to have it. Of course, wouldn’t you know it, it was the one fruit that was just an inch out of his reach. This was, like, modern day Adam and Eve, and this was somehow the forbidden fruit. Knowing he couldn’t have it only made him want it more. Rather than expressing this dilemma to Sam, he took a leap of faith and stretched as far over as he could, just barely grasping it, and plucking the beautiful fruit from it branch.

The flaw in his attempt came shortly after, when Sam lost his balance, and sent the two of them crashing to the ground. It took a minute to make sure nobody was severely hurt, and thankfully they weren’t. Nothing was damaged, except for his beautiful apple. During the fall, it had sustained a rather large bruise, marring its image. Gabriel laughed until there were tears in his eyes.

“What happened?” Sam asked, and before Gabe could even attempt to form an answer, Sam’s look of confusion sent him into another violent fit of giggles.

Instead, all he could do was hold up the injured apple and point to the spot, which only added to Sam’s confusion. He had no idea how to explain what had just happened, certainly not without sounding like an absolute lunatic. So he just decided he’d have to leave Sam to wonder.

It took a lot of effort to get them both off of the ground again, and Sam thanked god that their other apples were undamaged, because there was no way he was putting Gabe back on his shoulders to get more. After that little “incident,” he figured it would be in both of their best interests to just head back with what they had, and check out. He remembered to buy the pie on their way out, and grabbed a couple of plastic forks as well. They ate half of it at least on the car ride home.

It was almost as good as Dean’s homemade apple pie, and that really was saying something. Maybe Sam could spare a few of their apples for his brother. Gabriel had no idea how great Dean was with pies, and it was a damn shame that he didn’t.

Sam still didn’t know what had prompted fall and laughing fit back at the orchard, but at this point he was just not going to ask. Gabriel was weird, even weirder than Dean, and Sam had the distinct feeling that even if he had it explained to him, he still wouldn’t understand.

Lyla was enthusiastic to see that they were home, and even though every veterinarian in the country would probably be outraged, Gabe couldn’t resist giving her a couple bites of the pie. Sue him.

Sam set their bags on the counter before joining Gabriel in the living room, sitting down and throwing an arm around his shoulders. Despite the fact that they still had almost the entire weekend ahead of them, Sam wasn’t really sure that they needed to _do_ anything else. At some point throughout the morning he’d realized that this first weekend with Gabriel was going to be fantastic no matter what happened, simply because they were together, and there was no visible end to that.

They didn’t end up making any plans for the rest of the day, or the following, opting to spend most of the weekend either in bed or on the couch, something Sam was surprisingly okay with. With Gabriel living there, he felt better than he had in ages. He was sleeping better, he was happier, and even though he was getting sick of peanut butter and jelly all the time, Sam had to smile every time Gabe sent him to work with a lunch and, inevitably, a handwritten note. Sappy little shit.

Sam had yet to get tired of reading those useless little notes, however, and gabriel was sure that he would _never_ tire of writing them. The only downside to this was that after seeing so much of Gabe’s writing, Sam’s own was turning into a bit of a messy scrawl. In the end, it was a sacrifice he was willing to make. Gabriel’s notes were one of the only things that got him through Mondays. Sometimes he’d even taken to writing poems, which Sam secretly kept, despite the fact that half of the endings only sort of rhymed.

Dean was relentless, of course, and as soon as he found out about the notes, he was all over Sam, asking him if he’d like to “stand up and share with the rest of the class,” or something equally stupid. Then again, Sam had been putting up with Dean for a damn long time, and he didn’t let it get to him. Dean acted like a jackass, but it was only because he cared. 

Actually, Dean was seeming a little different lately himself, almost like when he’d first started dating Lisa, but any time Sam pressed for more info, he changed the topic, completely avoiding any discussion about his love life. Regardless, Sam was absolutely certain that there was somebody new with his brother, but as long as Dean was happy, there really wasn’t too much need for concern. 

Gabe hadn’t heard from Cas quite as much as he’d expected to, but he wasn’t really all that upset. He and his brother were still getting on just fine, it was just a little more distance than they’d had in a while. He knew that whenever he wanted to talk to Cas, he would still be able to reach him. Castiel Novak just wasn’t much of a phone person.

Even after their second full week together, Sam and Gabe still couldn’t get enough of each other. They were still excited to talk and see one another when Sam got home from work, still talked animatedly about whatever thing had happened at work, still kissed at random times for no reason at all, other than the fact that they _could._

There was no way, with emotions or actions or words, that either one of them would ever be able to fully express the way they felt about each other, but there seemed to be a mutual understanding that it was far greater than anyone could describe. They were blissfully obsessed with each other, and the world could just stop turning around them.


	13. Chapter 13

Autumn had never looked more beautiful, of that Gabriel was certain. It was crisp, and clean, and rich, and those were the only words he could really think of to describe it. The whole season was wrapped in jack-o-lanterns, and candy was on sale, and everything was just perfect. And that’s when Gabriel got sick.

It wasn’t any sort of deathly illness, and it wasn’t the worst experience of his life, but it wasn’t pleasant, and his constant coughing was certainly putting a damper on things. He didn’t worry about it too much at first, just deciding that it was a common cold, and he would be over it in a couple of days.

Then, Sam came home from work one Tuesday to find him curled up on the couch, wrapped in about four blankets and sweating like a dog. Fever, chills, nausea - the whole nine. Gabriel had been too stupid to call him at work, but hadn’t been inside for thirty seconds before Sam was picking him up and hauling him to urgent care. Gabe had a tenancy to be a stubborn ass about things, but this was not a battle he was going to win. Hell, right now, it wasn’t even one he had the energy to fight.

Sam filled out all of the paperwork for him, and it was still a little surprising that he knew all of the information off the top of his head. After handing the papers to the nurse, he waited next to Gabe with a worried expression, nervously shaking his leg and drumming his fingers along the armrest. When Sam finally turned back to him, Gabriel managed a weak smile, doing his best not to seem like he was on the verge of death. It was a thinly veiled attempt, however, and Sam just shook his head and got up to grab some water.

When the doctor, Ms. Moseley, called out to see Gabriel, he could barely stand on his own, let alone walk. Sam was an idiot for not bringing the chair with him. Sam ran up to talk to her, motioning for Gabe to sit still as he did so.

Gabe couldn’t totally make out what they were saying, but he saw her leave and return with a wheelchair. he would’ve protested, but it was probably for the best. He wasn’t entirely sure he’d be capable of walking in a straight line right now.

“Now Sam, you should stay back here while I see your..?”

“Boyfriend” Sam offered, glad to note that she didn’t even bat an eye.

“You should stay back here while I see your boyfriend. It sounds like we’ll have to run a couple of tests, and possibly do a little bit of blood work, but I can let you know when we’re done.”

Sam nodded, walking back to sit in one of the stiff waiting room chairs. Gabriel wished he could come back, too, but it was probably just as well that he couldn’t.

After about ten minutes Missouri was confident that he had strep throat, and rightly assumed that it was only a matter of time before Sam would start showing symptoms as well. After prescribing antibiotics and bedrest, she thought it would be best to be proactive and put in a prescription for Sam as well, just to be sure.

They stopped to pick up meds on the way home, and Gabriel was still positively miserable. As soon as they were in the door, Sam was leading him back to bed, reading through the drug facts before filling a couple glasses of water and knocking back the pill, making Gabriel do the same. The fever had gone down slightly, but this was still the worst he’d felt since the accident. Sam dialed something, and before Gabe knew what he was doing, he’d already called in sick for the next day, and said he might have to take off the one after that, too.

“Sam, I can take care of myself, you know. I don’t want you to miss work.”

“Hey! I’m probably contagious right now, too, so I _should_ be missing work until I know I’m not. And besides, if you could take care of yourself, you would’nt have been too stubborn to see a doctor.”

While Sam might have had a point, Gabriel still wasn’t happy about Sam going out of his way to look after him.

“Okay, but you also mentioned taking off Thursday. Last I checked, you won’t be contagious by then, and I have never known Sam Winchester to miss work.”

Sam sighed, shaking his head dramatically.

“Babe, you were at _one hundred and one_ when I came home. If you’re not doing better by Thursday, I can and will miss work to take care of you. And even if you are, I think I’d better cancel your session this week.”

“You don’t need to do that. Now, I would love to argue further, but unfortunately, my throat is killing me, and talking isn’t helping, so we can continue this later.”

Sam smiled at him sympathetically, rummaging around in the bathroom cupboard for a minute before finding some cough drops and setting them down next to Gabe’s water. He looked like he was only a couple of minutes away from completely crashing, so Sam draped another blanket over him and shut off the light, heading to the kitchen to see what they could do for dinner. It was already six, but he thought there was still enough time to throw together some soup.

Gabriel wasn’t sure what time it was when Sam woke him up again. All he knew was that he was still very tired, but also hungry, and something smelled fantastic. Before he even had time to call out for him, Sam was walking into the room, with a tray in each hand. 

Sam handed one to Gabriel before carefully setting down his own and climbing onto the bed. 

“So, how’re you feeling?” It took a second for Gabriel to process the words, since he was currently admiring the soup and bread before him, which looked heavenly.

“Not gonna lie, I’ve been better. But hey, I’ve also been a lot worse, right?”

Sam huffed a laugh, dipping his own spoon into the soup he’d made. It’d been _years_ since Gabriel had had homemade soup.

Gabe mirrored the action, almost moaning when he brought it to his lips. Thank whatever divine being was up there that he could still taste.

“Sam, you are a God among men. This is the greatest soup I have ever tasted. Remind me again why you’re not a chef?”

“If I didn’t do what I do, how would the two of us have ever met?”

“Are you kidding? Two gay singles, living less than twenty minutes apart. We would’ve met at some point, and probably under better circumstances.”

Sam frowned at that, but not in a sad way, so much as a deep-in-thought way.

“Do you actually think that? That we were bound to meet eventually? Even if you hadn’t been in the accident?”

“I don’t know. I like to think so, though. Why?”

“It just sort of sounded like… well, whatever.”

Now it was Gabriel’s turn to frown.

“Like what?”

“Forget it.”

“Samuel Henry Winchester, answer me.”

Sam blushed at the use of his full name, but gave in.

“It kind of sounded like we were destined to be together, or something.”

Instead of making some teasing remark like Sam had expected, however, Gabriel just smiled.

“Maybe we were.”

“Maybe.”

Gabriel felt only marginally better when he woke up, but Sam still didn’t seem to be showing any symptoms. Damned health nuts and their perfect immune systems. Then again, Gabe wasn’t entirely sure how they would be able to get anything done if he and Sam were _both_ sick.

Still, after a couple days and a lot of improvement, he was unsettled by how nurturing Sam was being. It was a little smothering, and every time Gabe told him that he could do something on his own, Sam insisted on getting it for him. It was like having a third parental guardian, except for the part where he was sleeping with Sam. But still, he was acting like a mother, and Gabriel honestly wasn’t loving it. He could do things for himself.

“Gabriel, it’s fine. I swear, I don’t mind.” Sam argued after Gabe tried to get his own drink for the fifth time.

“Sam, that’s great and all, but that isn’t my point. I don’t need your help, and I am capable of getting my own water, and blankets, and anything else.” The debate was getting pretty old, and Sam was at _least_ as stubborn as he always accused Gabriel of being.

“I know, but that doesn’t mean you have to.”

“SAM. I know that. And thank you for the offer, but I’m a fully grown man, and I would appreciate being treated as such.” It was irritating, and Sam was acting like he was incapable of completing simple tasks.

“Fine, fine. I’m sorry. I won’t do anything unless you tell me to. Promise.” Sam finally gave in, but he looked incredibly hurt to do so.

“Hey, Sam, wait, come on now. I’m not mad at you, don’t be like that. I just want to do things by myself, okay?”

Sam nodded, and his face softened a little, but he still didn’t look completely happy about things.

“I’m not upset, Sam, honest.”

Sam nodded again, running a hand through his hair and turning to go back into the living room. Even though he was getting better, Gabe was still sticking to the bed for now himself.

“Babe, wait, come here.” Gabe was on the verge of pleading. He didn’t want Sam to think he was mad, because he really wasn’t.

“What?” Sam managed to say it calmly, but to his own ears it still sounded like a snap.

“It’s really not that big of a deal, okay? I’m not mad, so could you not get upset either?”

“I’m not.” Sam mumbled it so quietly Gabe could barely hear it. 

“Good. I love you.” It had actually been far too long since he’d remembered to say that, because Sam deserved to hear it. 

“Love you too.” Sam smiled at him, walking back in and sitting down.

“You’d better, Sampson, ‘cause you’re stuck with me now.” Gabriel laughed, even though his throat still hurt a little as he did.

“You know, you still sound kind of awful. Do you want to get some ice cream or something after dinner?”

“That would be great.”

Sam leaned over and kissed him before going back to the kitchen.

And so ended their first almost fight since living together. In retrospect, it could have been a lot worse, and at least they were both on the same page now. That, and they were getting ice cream. Most fights didn’t have such nice outcomes.

It was another few days before he was feeling back to himself again, which was okay. Sam, on the other hand, never really came down with anything, which was almost unfair. For all the kissing they did, he ought to have been just as sick as Gabriel.

Now that it was October, halloween was right around the corner, and that happened to be Gabriel’s favorite holiday. A bunch of munchkins, all dressed up in ridiculous costumes, cheap horror movies, and candy. Not the worst way to spend an evening. 

He managed to talk Sam into dressing up with him, so long as Sam got to pick the costume. Gabriel still made his fair share of suggestions, though. They finally settled on Captain America and the Winter Soldier, and Gabriel had to laugh because now Sam had not only a metal leg, but also a metal arm. Still, the highlight of the ensemble had to be the eyeliner, which he managed to pull off surprisingly well. Gabriel was more than a little sad when the night was over and he changed back into his regular clothes again.

Sam also mentioned that after halloween, they should have a big thanksgiving get together with Sam and Dean’s extended not-family. When Gabe expressed that he and his brother usually ate thanksgiving dinner together, since they didn’t want to fly east every year, Sam told him to invite Cas, too. While he was a little nervous about making a good impression on those from the group who he still hadn’t met, Sam assured him that they would all get along just fine. He also promised that it would be the best turkey he’d ever tasted, and how could Gabriel turn down an offer like that?

Plus, having Cas there was a good thing for a multitude of reasons. Gabe already knew that he got along well with Sam and Dean, and this way he would get to meet some more people as well. That, and now Gabe didn’t have to be the only outsider there, because no matter how many times Sam insisted that they were nice people and would love him, Gabriel still couldn’t help feeling like an intruder.He wanted to get to know everyone, he really did, but just showing up with Sam on Thanksgiving seemed like a very abrupt way to do it. 

x x x 

Gabriel had been sick for a couple of days already. If Sam had his way, they already would have seen a doctor by now, but unfortunately, Gabe had insisted that it was nothing. Though there was not an ounce of truth in that statement, Sam relented, deciding that this wasn’t his war to fight. Or at least, it wasn’t yet.

It became Sam’s war the day he came home to find Gabriel curled up on the couch, coughing his lungs out and sweating like a dog, even though he still looked cold. His voice sounded like he’d swallowed a handful of rocks, and there was no way Sam was just going to ignore this and let him get better on his own. One touch to his forehead and he’d decided this was serious.

If the general appearance and state of his boyfriend hadn’t already tipped him off, Sam would have noticed something was wrong by the lack of protest he put up at seeing a doctor. Gabriel was one of the most hardheaded people Sam had ever encountered, and it was frankly a little terrifying how quickly he went along with the decision.

Sam basically carried him to the car, something he’d sworn he would stop doing because Gabe insisted that he wasn’t going to get better if he kept it up. Today, however, Gabriel could barely stand on his own, and Sam wasn’t worried about his independence right now. Not with a fever like that.

Sam’s hand was nearly shaking when he filled out the papers. He and Dean almost never got sick, it was rare that he   
even got a cold, and this was a lot more than that. Also, Sam would be the first to admit that he was a bit too protective of the people he cared about. It was just in his nature.

When the doctor finally came out, he wanted to slap himself for being so stupid. There was no way Gabriel was going to be able to walk himself back there on his own, and Sam wasn’t allowed in with him. Before gabe could even try to get up on his own, which was surely not going to work out, Sam motioned for him to stay there a minute while he got up to talk to the doctor.

“Hey, uh, I’m not Gabriel, _that is_ ” he said, motioning to the very obviously sick man he’d been sitting next to. “But he recently had a spinal cord injury, and I don’t think he can walk on his own right now. If I’d been thinking, I would’ve brought his wheelchair from home, but is there any way you can get one for him?”

“Of course, honey. That’s what we have them for. I’ll be back in a minute.”

She was gone again before Sam could thank her, and when she returned, she was wheeling a chair in front of her, but she handed it over to Sam to help Gabriel into. 

Once they went back in her office, Sam sat back down and fiddled with his phone for half an hour. He figured that one way or another he was going to have to miss work the next day. There was no way Gabriel would be in any shape to take care of himself by then, and Sam didn’t want to be worrying about him all day anyway.

When they finally came back and she told him that Gabe had strep, Sam was more relieved than he expected to be. Sure, strep throat totally sucked, but at least it was something he’d heard of. Actually, Ben Braeden had had it not too long ago, and Dean said that it wasn’t so horrible. Just really, really contagious. SO much so, that Sam was a little surprised he hadn’t caught it yet.

Missouri prescribed enough antibiotics for both of them, so Sam would be able to go back to work twenty four hours after taking them, without worrying about making anyone else sick. As soon as they’d stopped by a pharmacy, he was rushing to get Gabriel home and in bed. He still looked pretty horrible, and he needed to get some sleep.

Gabe looked so sweet when Sam tucked him in, he had to resist the urge to kiss him on the cheek. In case he wasn’t already sick, no point in catching it now.

In the meantime, however, it was already getting pretty late, and it was nearly dinner time. Sam would be damned if Gabriel didn’t eat something nice, and he’d just stocked up on some seasonal veggies a couple of days before. Sam may not have been an expert, but making soup wasn’t rocket science, and he’d always heard that it was good for sickness anyways.

Once it was done, he didn’t really want to wake Gabriel up, but he needed to eat, and Sam couldn’t let him skip dinner, since he most likely hadn’t had lunch. Sam had already called in to take the following day off, and possibly the next one after that, if there was no significant improvement.

He still looked pretty weak, but at least Gabriel seemed to be enjoying the soup. Sam made sure it wasn’t too hot, since he didn’t want to hurt his throat any more. Thankfully, it looked like he’d done a decent job, judging by how quickly Gabe ate and asked for more. He sheepishly admitted that he hadn’t really eaten anything all day.

Sam was surprised at Gabe’s reaction when he made a comment about how they were “destined to be together.” It certainly seemed like it was true, though, and there was no denying that they were good for each other. Maybe fate was a better word for it. Like they had no control over getting together, one way or another.

He was almost hesitant to go to sleep, in case Gabe needed anything during the night, but Sam made sure that if he did, he would let him know. As he reminded him at least five times before finally drifting off, Sam was more than happy to help him with anything, all he had to do was ask.

Thankfully, Gabriel slept through the night just fine, although he wasn’t doing a lot better when he woke up. Sam was glad he wasn’t faring so badly himself, and that he didn’t have to go in today. That meant he could make sure Gabriel was taking meds, and drinking enough water, and actually eating. Basically anything Sam was afraid he’d neglect to do on his own.

By eleven, Gabriel was fully awake, although he still wasn’t having the best time speaking. It was something, at least.

Sam decided he could go back in the next day, but he still made Gabriel stay home, and he came back over lunch and during Gabe’s regular time, just to make sure he was okay. A day or two later, Gabe looked like he was getting better, though his voice contradicted that.

They’d had the same discussion many times, about why Sam was being too overwhelming, and how he needed to do things on his own. Sam couldn’t see what the big problem with him helping was, since Gabe was sick and he was healthy, but it appeared to be pretty important to him nonetheless. 

Gabriel didn’t yell at him, really, but he did raise his voice, and despite the fact that his words were kind, Sam still felt like there was anger behind them. He’d almost wanted to say “fuck, if you don’t want my help, maybe I should just go,” but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It was just as well that he stayed, because hearing Gabriel say that he loved him was all the reminder he needed. The fight was stupid, and if he really wanted Sam to back off, then he could honor that request.

“You know, you still sound kind of awful. Do you want to get some ice cream or something   
after dinner?”

Just like that, all was forgiven and they could back to their regularly scheduled sappiness.That, and they were now getting ice cream.

Once Gabe was healthy again, autumn was passing by rather quickly, and Sam hated that they’d already missed so much of it. Still, they could make the most of the month or so that they had left, and Sam happened to know how much Gabriel loved halloween. What Gabriel didn’t know was that Sam’s own fondness for the holiday could rival his, and that he’d secretly been hoping that they could do some sort of couple’s costume together. Even though he was still planning on just handing out candy to the kids that night, Sam always enjoyed dressing up for that.

The only problem was who or what to go as, and when he heard the suggestion of Steve and Bucky, or rather their alter-egos, he was quick to agree. Captain America was definitely the best avenger. And not only because Chris Evans had a nice ass, although that might have been a part of his reasoning. Also, how cute would Gabriel look in that uniform?

The kiddos were all back in bed before ten, which meant that the two of them had the rest of the night to watch shitty horror flicks and eat candy corn, and it was definitely not the worst way to spend an evening. Most of the candy eating was done by Gabriel, but Sam could let it slide. He still looked damn good in the costume, even after his third (or possibly fourth) king sized snickers. How he managed to eat all that without making himself sick, sam didn’t understand. He himself probably would have thrown up after two. Gabriel’s junk food eating skills were impressive.

After halloween passed, they were quickly heading into holiday season, which meant two things, generally. There would be food, and there would be snow. It was only really a question of which would come first - a blizzard, or a turkey.

Sam usually spent thanksgiving with Jo and Ellen and the rest of the gang, and he’d already been invited for this year. When Jo spoke to him about it on the phone, she was sure to mention that his invitation included a plus one, since she had yet to meet the mysterious guy Sam was so head over heels for. At least, that was how she worded it. 

When Gabriel expressed that Cas would have no one to spend the dinner with in that case, Sam decided that he could extend his plus one to a plus two, because there was always more than enough food to go around. He was sure that nobody would mind the extra company, and Gabe was always talking about how Cas had to meet new people, anyways. 

Sam knew that they would all have a good time. The food was going to be spectacular, and he hadn’t even mentioned the pie yet, although he was sure that Gabriel was going to love it. 

Even though he was dating Sam Winchester, the salad king of the midwest, Gabe still had an incurable sweet tooth, so half a dozen homemade pies definitely sounded like his kind of thing. Usually Dean was the holiday pie whore, but Sam had a feeling that Gabe could give him a run for his money this year. 

He also had to wonder if it was possible to eat yourself to death in one evening, before deciding that if it were, Dean probably would have accomplished it years ago. Sam didn’t entirely get the appeal of gorging yourself, but to each his own. It was still bound to be a pretty great time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Questions? Concerns? :)


	14. Chapter 14

Even though he’d agreed to go to Thanksgiving with Sam, now that the holiday was actually here, Gabe felt inexplicably nervous. He still wanted to do this, sure, but what if he messed up? And what if they all wanted to watch the football game or something? Gabriel didn’t know the first thing about football. Thank God Cas was coming, too.

Actually, when Gabe called his brother to give him directions, Cas said that he didn’t need them, since he would just go with Dean. It was a bit surprising, since neither Gabe nor Sam had any idea that they’d kept in touch, but Sam mused that it would be nice for Dean to have a designated driver this year, so he wouldn’t have to crash on Ellen’s couch. According to Sam, the previous year, Dean had gotten so smashed that he’d started singing. He had to be quiet, though, because if Gabriel mentioned it to anyone, Dean would personally castrate them both.

Sam made a green bean casserole, which honestly looked far too healthy to be holiday food, but that sounded like something Sam would do. He was a pretty good cook, at least, so Gabe could humor him and grab a scoop or two.

He must have been told at least a dozen times that the dinner was going to be very casual, and he had no reason to dress up, but that wasn’t going to stop Gabriel from at least looking nice. Sam was still quite obviously out of his league, but he didn’t need to draw more attention to that than there already was.

Once they were in the car, Sam mentioned that it would be a little bit of a drive, since Ellen lived outside the cities, but that was more than alright. They were having a surprisingly warm November, and there was still no snow on the ground. It was the perfect weather for long car rides, and there was nothing to possibly be upset about.

He just cranked up the radio and sang along, very off-key, to the greatest hits of the seventies. Sam even sang along when Don McLean came on, and he really did have a nice voice, whether he knew it or not.

When they got there, they were still a little bit early, and aside from Ellen and Jo, the only other one there was Ash, who was currently flirting shamelessly with Jo while she made stuffing. 

It was a nice place. Not huge, but the dining table could easily seat ten, and there were only eight of them here. They also seemed to own a lot of land, and it was all very “American dream” looking, with at least an acre of houseless space on any side of the property, and the table all set in warm colors. It was a lot cozier than his and Cas’ own parent’s home, and he felt a lot more comfortable than he’d expected.

“Hi boys” came Ellen’s greeting from the kitchen as she wiped her hands off on a towel and walked out to meet them. “Bobby just called, said he should be here in a few minutes. Nice to see you again, Gabriel.”

“You too, Ellen. Thank you for having me over.”

“Of course. Good to see you on your own two feet.”

Gabriel smiled, about to respond when the rest of the party from the kitchen joined them.

Sam made quick introductions again, since Ash hadn’t met Gabriel yet, and Jo had only met him once, months ago.

“Nice to meet you, man.”

Ash seemed completely unphased by the two of them being together, which was almost the exact opposite reaction he’d received from Jo. She’d wanted to know every detail of how they’d met, and when they started going out, and she then used that ammo to tease Sam relentlessly. 

He fully understood why Sam and Dean referred to this bunch as their family. Especially since their dad lived out of state and they didn’t see him that much. Jo definitely acted like a little sister might, and Ash kind of seemed like the token stoner cousin.

Bobby made a grand entrance shortly after, carrying a turkey that must have been about as big as Sam’s dog. How was this bird even supposed to fit in an oven?

“Oh, we don’t cook turkey in the oven. Ever had a deep fried drumstick?” Ash informed him with a grin, motioning to the back porch, where Gabriel now noticed that there was a rather large pot set up for the process. How he hadn’t seen that before was a mystery.

“Can’t say that I have, believe it or not.”

“Oh, then man are you missing out. And Dean’s pie? To die for. Want a beer?”

Though the transition was a little, uh, nonexistent, Gabriel couldn’t turn down a drink or two. It _was_ a special occasion, after all. 

Dean and Cas finally got there, and when they walked in, both of them were smiling about something, but nobody really ventured to ask what. Either way, they were acting like old friends, and Gabe was glad to see Cas widening his circle. Dean was a nice guy, and it looked like they had enough in common.

Dean started to lay out the pies one by one, and Gabriel was almost positive that his mouth was watering. Like, honest to god drooling. There were five in all - two pumpkin, an apple, a pecan, and a cherry. It was like he had died and gone to heaven, and there was nothing Gabe wanted more than to just skip the turkey altogether and start with dessert. Unfortunately, he was an adult, and trying to make a good impression, at that.

He was just going to have to be patient, and remind himself to save enough room for dessert. He would never forgive himself if he didn’t get to at least try all of them.

They all settled in to watch the parade while the food finished cooking. As it turns out, nobody else in the party cared too much for football either, a fact Gabriel was pleased to discover. Soon enough, someone switched the channel to Charlie Brown, which Sam insisted was non-negotiable. It was more interesting than the parade, anyhow, so nobody put up much protest.

As soon as the food was all on the table, and everyone was seated comfortably, Sam suggested that they all go around and say one thing that they were thankful for. This idea, of course, was met by immediate groans from half of the group, but they did it anyways. Everyone was far too eager to eat, but it seemed like the “right” thing to do.

Bobby started by proclaiming his gratitude for the fact that his thirty year old truck had managed to get him there in one piece. Down the row they went. Naturally, Sam had to be a loser, and say that he was thankful for everyone there with them. Boring.

When it was his own turn, however, Gabriel found himself being thankful for the car accident, once again. The accident that, had it not happened, wouldn’t have led him to this night, with these people, and Sam holding his hand under the table. Granted, that wasn’t what he said, but it was what he felt like saying. Instead, he managed to get a few laughs from his “I’m thankful for free food and alcohol.”

Finally, when they had finished, Bobby began to carve the beast. They all dug in eagerly, with Gabe stealing nearly half of the sweet potatoes. Also, Sam’s casserole was better than he’d expected, and the cranberry sauce was to die for. 

“Oh my _god_ ” he said, all but moaning around the sauce. “Who made this? Marry me?”

Cas laughed, blushing slightly.

“I don’t think that’s legal.” He was so deadpan about it that Gabriel almost didn’t believe him.

“No way. Cas, I’ve had your cooking. Impossible.”

Dean grinned, elbowing Cas in the ribs in a gesture that was almost _too_ friendly.

“Afraid so. I might have helped, though.”

Sam looked just as confused as Gabriel was, before realization dawned on him.

“No way. You two are...when?” Gabriel hoped that it hadn’t been a secret, but judging by how the two were acting, no efforts were being made to hide it. No way. No fucking way.

“Well, when did you and Sam move in together?” Cas asked innocently.

“August.”

“Then, since August.”

Sam spit out his stuffing, and the rest of the group was just staring at them silently.

“Oh. Um. Congratulations?” Gabriel offered, not sure of what else to say.

After Dean gave a brief rundown, (though not offering nearly enough detail to feed his curiosity,) they were back to eating, finishing their first plates, then moving on to seconds, and finally, dessert. It was probably the most food Gabe had eaten in his life. It was, quite possibly, larger than the cumulative amount of everything he’d ever eaten up until this night.

And yet, he managed to accomplish his goal of eating some of every pie, and Dean did not disappoint. It was, without a doubt, the greatest pie he’d had in his life.

Once they were all nearing their deathbeds, Gabriel managed to pull Cas aside for a minute so they could speak privately. 

“So, you and Dean? That’s pretty big news. I’m a little offended that you didn’t even bother to tell me.”

“It didn’t seem that important.” Cas shrugged, like there was nothing significant about it.

Gabriel fixed him with the strongest bitch face he could manage. Cas dates for, what, the first time _ever_ , and it’s not a big deal?

“Well, I’ll have to disagree with you on that. And I take it he already knows about the whole...asexual situation?”

Cas rolled his eyes, but there was still a smile there.

“First of all, it’s not a ‘situation,’ I just don’t have sex. You overcomplicate it. But yeah, I told him about that as soon as things started to escalate. I kind of felt like it would be leading him on if I didn’t.”

“Wow. So he must have taken it well, then?”

“Obviously, he did. Actually, I believe his exact words were ‘that’s cool. I’m gonna go take a very cold shower, and then we can watch a movie or something.’ Sounded like something you would say.”

Gabriel laughed. Yeah, Dean would be good for his brother. He was a pretty decent guy.

“Well, I hate to say I told you so, but if my memory is correct, I think I did.” This, naturally, was a lie. In fact, that was one of Gabriel’s absolute _favorite_ things to say.

“Good for you. I don’t care. Now, I’m gonna go get back to Dean.” Cas sounded completely done, which only made it better.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You know I’m right, though.”

“Fine. You were right. Now please, drop the subject.”

“Fine, okay. Just had to have my bragging rights. Seriously though, I’m happy for you guys. I’m glad things are working out.” He had been sincerely worried that Cas would never find someone. This was some of the best news he’d heard in weeks.

“Thank you.”

They finally gathered themselves enough to help with the cleanup and dishes, despite Ellen’s insistence that they were guests, and they didn’t need to do anything. As soon as things were cleaned up, leftovers were packed, and it appeared that Sam and Gabe would be heading home with at least twice as much food as he would’ve asked for, including a lot of pie, and all the rest of the sweet potatoes.

Sam had to carry most of the food out himself, and Gabriel found as they were saying their goodbyes, that the night had ended far too soon. He would’ve loved to have been able to stay longer, but it was getting dark outside, and they had a ways to go before they’d be home again. He thanked everyone once again, giving his brother a quick hug before climbing into the car. 

“So, our brothers, huh?” Sam asked on the ride back.

“Guess so. I think we’re going to need to up our game, to make sure we maintain our ‘cutest couple’ status.”

“Ugh, please” Sam scoffed, like the very notion was preposterous. “Height differences are everything. They can’t even _compete_ with us.”

It was true. Dean and Cas were adorable together, but Sam had a point. That, and they’d been a couple first. But hey, everyone was happy, and things were just about perfect. If this was Thanksgiving, then he honestly couldn’t wait to see Christmas.

x x x

As Thanksgiving grew closer, Sam was looking forward to the holiday more than ever this year. Someone to share the drive with, someone to help him cook, and even more importantly, someone to help him eat the leftovers.

He spent most of the morning in preparations, making hot dish, (or as Gabriel called it, “casserole.” Mainiacs.) It wasn’t usually a hit, but it was his own excuse for eating all the other, less healthy foods. Really, it was a pretty sorry excuse, and he didn’t technically need one, but he liked it, regardless.

Sam didn’t remember until almost one that Cas had no idea where he was going, since nobody had given him Ellen’s address yet. He asked Gabriel to call him, so that Cas wouldn’t get horribly lost trying to find it himself. 

He waited a minute while it dialed, Gabriel drumming his fingers against the counter while he waited for his brother to pick up. 

“Heya, Cassy. Just called so that you would know how to get to the Harvelle’s tonight. Got a notepad for the address?”

There was a pause, but it was pretty obvious by his face that something had surprised Gabriel.

“Oh. Well, okay then. Alright, see you there. Bye!”

He hung up the phone, shaking his head a little.

“What was that?” Sam asked, trying to make sense of the half of the conversation he’d just hears.

“Uh, he says he doesn’t need directions.”

“Hm. Did he say why not?”

“Yeah, he did, actually. Because he’d riding with _your_ brother.”

Sam took a minute to process.

“Dean and Cas are coming to Ellen’s together?”

“That’s what he said.”

Sam almost forgot to keep stirring, and finally returned his attention to his cooking.

“That’s...news. Okay then.”

The conversation dropped off there, because it was obvious that Gabe was as much at a loss as he was. Maybe he could just hound Dean for information later. Not that it wasn’t good that they were hanging out, but Sam had no idea when that had happened.

It was always this time of year especially that Sam wished their dad lived closer. He used to make it to holidays every year, back when he was still working, but after retirement, he moved out to Colorado. Still, Sam was hoping that maybe he could talk him into coming over for Christmas, letting him meet Gabriel and everything. He hadn’t seen John in a year or two.

But there was no way that John’s presence, or lack thereof, was going to make today any less amazing. Between the food, and the people, and the beautiful weather, Sam couldn’t think of a more enjoyable evening.

He knew that it probably went against a significant amount of highway codes to be taking his hand off the wheel to hold Gabriel’s on the way there. But then again, it wasn’t like he was getting road head or anything. Sam wasn’t really all that worried, especially once they were off the main roads and getting closer.

When they pulled up, Sam didn’t see anybody else’s vehicles, save for Ash’s truck. Either he and Gabe were early, or everyone else was late. Most likely, it was the latter. 

Walking in, it looked like everyone was hard at work in the kitchen. Well, actually, Jo and Ellen were working. Ash, on the other hand, was nursing a beer and shamelessly flirting with Jo. Nothing out of the ordinary, of course.

It already smelled divine, which was sure to only improve once Dean got there with the pies. Ellen came out to welcome them in, and Sam was happy that she and Gabriel got on so well. She was like a mother to himself and Dean, and her approval really did mean a lot.

Bobby came soon after, bearing a bird that looked like it had been fed its fair amount of steroids. He was surprised that Gabe didn’t compare him to it, considering the amount of tall jokes he usually made. It wasn’t Sam’s fault that Gabriel was practically a midget.

Sam declined Ash on his offer of beer, opting for some apple cider instead. 

“Your loss, man.” Ash, of course, was convinced that drinking was the only way to have any fun.

“Well, I’m driving, and ‘certain people’ are still recovering from their last car accidents.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. How’s that going, by the way?” 

Sam couldn’t entirely tell if the question was directed towards him or Gabriel, but he decided that it was more Gabe’s place to answer.

“Y’know, considering it hasn’t even been a full year, I guess it’d pretty good. I mean, it’s a bit of a pain, but it could be worse.”

Light chat was kept up until Dean and Cas arrived, and they all but stumbled through the door, practically giggling over something. Looked like somebody had started drinking a little early.

Dean and Cas were each balancing multiple pies, all of which looked flawless. Sam had always been a little jealous of his brother’s baking abilities. He could never make a decent looking crust, and store bought didn’t taste the same.

But hey, this way, he got to eat just as much pie, with none of the effort. Although Sam had the distinct feeling that this year Gabriel was going to be eating at least two or three slices himself.

While he held nothing against parades, and actually liked some, Sam had to admit that Charlie Brown was more traditional than Macy’s. Thankfully, nobody complained too much about the change of channels, and there was just something so nostalgic about the show.

Though nobody present was terribly religious, and saying grace wasn’t a commonality, it seemed very un-spirited not to be grateful for anything. At the risk of Dean punching him for being too touchy, Sam took the risk and interrupted the meal, hoping that his idea wouldn’t be immediately shot down. 

After so many years growing up, where he had to go out of his way to find things about his life to be thankful for, now, Sam discovered, he had them in abundance. It was like he’d been given a complete one-eighty turnaround. The only time he could remember being as happy as he was right now, was probably before the fire, and he tried not to dwell in the past. Thinking about the fire though, he couldn’t keep his mind from wandering to his mother. He was sure Mary would be happy for him. And she would _love_ Gabriel.

Sam filled his plate significantly more than he should have, knowing full well that he was still going to finish it all and get seconds. One person could only have so much self control.

He was focused so intently on the food, in fact, that it took him a moment to catch with the conversation. That, and it was a little confusing to begin with.

_So there was something going on between Dean and….Holy shit._

Sam had vaguely known that his brother had been seeing someone new, but he never would’ve guessed that that someone was Gabriel’s brother. Or male, even, for that matter. And since August? Way to tell a guy. If he had it in him, Sam would’ve been a little pissed about that. Then again, how was he supposed to be mad over good news? 

He had to stop gaping eventually, because there was still a pile of mashed potatoes and dessert to be eaten, but that was pretty unexpected, to say the least. Sure, he’d known Dean was bi for a while now, but Sam Winchester never thought he’d see the day when his brother came to terms with that fact. Maybe now he’d stop referring to Sam as “the gay brother.”

Looking at them now, smiling at each other like a couple of morons, Sam decided that Cas and Dean _did_ make a pretty cute couple. Maybe not the cutest at the table, but it was a tough competition.

As usual, the pie was heavenly. It was seriously like biting into a slice of the moon, topped with whipped cream. And normally, Sam wasn’t even a sweets person.

Eventually, everybody had their fill, and Sam noticed Gabriel pulling Cas aside to talk, probably asking the same questions Sam had been wanting to ask Dean for the last hour. Following Gabe’s lead, Sam grabbed his own brother by the arm and led him in the opposite direction.

“Okay, I’m just gonna start with the obvious. You know Cas is a guy, right?”

In hindsight, there were definitely better ways to word that sentence, but it got the point across, at least.

“Wow, Sammy. It almost sounds like you’re criticizing me for being with a man. Little hypocritical, don’t you think?”

“Dean, you don’t have to be deliberately obtuse, you know. I’m just saying, I wasn’t sure if you were ever gonna figure that one out.”

“Well, shockingly enough, I did.”

“Okay. Why didn’t you tell me, though? Was there some reason you were keeping this as a secret?”

Dean shrugged, like he was at a loss for words. That was a first.

“We really weren’t together at first. We were just friends for a week or so, and then we...weren’t. Neither of us really wanted to say anything, cause we weren’t sure if we would even stay together or not.”

“Huh. Well, I’m glad you did. Maybe we could double date sometime.”

That one earned a very distressed groan from Dean.

“That, too.” Dean sighed, rubbing a hand down his face.

“What?” 

“I knew that when you heard we were dating, you’d want to double.”

Why Dean had such an aversion so double dates, Sam would probably never understand. They were a lot of fun, if you went with the right people.

“Fine. Then don’t call it that. We can all just go out and get drinks again or something. You don’t have to think of it as a double date.”

“Yeah, maybe. Although Cas doesn’t really drink that much, actually. He’s more of a hot chocolate type.”

Sam’s jaw almost dropped.

“You mean to tell me that you’re dating a _guy_ , who doesn’t even like alcohol? The sex must be great, for you two to work out so well.”

Dean laughed, like there was some sort of inside joke Sam was missing out on.

“You know, we do have _some_ things in common. Like pain in the ass brothers and our devilishly good looks.”

“Whatever. Just, no more secrets, alright? If you guys go off and elope or something, I swear to god Dean, I will kick your ass.”

“Sure. Totally. Now, if you don’t mind, I have some leftovers to pack up.”

Sam rolled his eyes, but let him go. He and Gabriel ought to head out soon, too, if they wanted to get home before eleven. It was already getting dark out, and there was a significant drive before them.

After being loaded up with their fair share of food, they finished their goodbyes and thank yous, and finally got back in the car to go home.

After twenty minutes or so, the sun had completely set, and it was just darkness and open road before them. Instead of being creepy, though, it just felt...serene. Sam was just about to make that comment to Gabe, when he turned and found him to be completely out. He was sleeping peacefully, with his head against the window, and he might have been drooling, just a little.

Sam was extra careful after that, so as not to disturb his sleeping any. He started to snore after a bit, and Sam honestly wished he could have had it on video. 

He finally had to rouse him awake again when they pulled into the lot, but Gabriel was still groggy and slow. Despite the fact that he’d spent the last month telling Sam that he needed to walk on his own more, Gabriel made no protest when he was scooped up and carried inside. It could have been his imagination, but Sam could’ve sworn he was at least a few pounds heavier after that meal. Then again, Sam probably was, too.

That was the best Thanksgiving he could remember, and probably one of the most surprising as well. He couldn’t wait to see how great Christmas was going to be.


	15. Chapter 15

It wasn’t even a week after Thanksgiving before the snow started to fall. Granted, the first few sprinklings didn’t stay too long, but in just under half a month, the ground was covered. Stores on every corner had set up their elaborate Christmas displays, and there were fake Santa Clauses in every mall for miles around.

Naturally, you couldn’t walk into a single store without waiting in hour long lines, and possibly being trampled to death. As far as gifts went, you were better off shopping online if you hadn’t finished already, even with shipping rates. Luckily, Gabriel’s gift to Sam involved a lot of things, but malls were not one of them. 

It had taken a lot of help from Dean, and he was still worried that it wouldn’t work out, but he had a lot of faith in the idea. Sam was going to freaking _lose it_ , and he knew that Dean would be pretty excited, too.

Basically, he and Dean had managed to work out plans so that John would be able to fly in for the holidays, but it was going to be a close cut. He didn’t want to spoil the surprise too early, and knowing that John wouldn’t want to stay more than a week or so, his flight wasn’t scheduled until the twenty third. After that, he’d be staying in town till new year’s and flying out on the second. 

Of course, with that small of an allowance for timing, if his flight got any delay, there was a risk that he might miss the holiday entirely. Hopefully, though, things would be okay, because from hearing Sam’s end of the phone call they shared on Thanksgiving, it had been too long since he’d seen his father, and Gabriel really wanted to meet him, even if he was a little nervous about the idea.

In the meantime, he still had a few more weeks to go with keeping the secret, which was proving harder than he’d expected. On more than one occasion, Sam had mentioned some story about holidays as a kid, and he’d talk about how his dad always managed to make them great, even if they couldn’t afford much. He looked so goddamned disappointed that it had been so long since he’d seen John, and Gabriel was so tempted to just cave and tell him everything. And yet, he held out, nodding in understanding and acting sympathetic. He even threw in a “maybe he could come _next year_ ” for good measure, hoping to keep Sam from getting suspicious.

The season was busy enough that Gabe never had too much time to dwell on the fact that he would have to introduce Sam to his own parents eventually. Maybe, if he was lucky, he could just mention in passing that he was dating someone, and his folks would just assume it was a fling and never press further, and they’d live happily ever after.

 

-  
The plan was to have Dean and Cas pick John up from the airport the night of the twenty third, then take him to the hotel and let him get settled. Dean would get to introduce Cas beforehand, but Gabriel would have to wait to meet him. Then, on Christmas eve, he and Sam would throw on some of the world’s tackiest sweaters (which was completely not his idea,) and go on a drive to look at people’s Christmas light displays, while Cas, Dean, and John went in and waited at the apartment for them to get back.

-

He’d told Dean and Cas that they should just bring their gifts to the apartment, so they could all stay up and talk and everything that night. Gabe made sure they stocked up on hot chocolate and marshmallows ahead of time, and he might have insisted on eggnog, too. There was no such thing as too much holiday food, with the possible exception of fruit cake.

-

The snow kept coming down in sheets, and when Dean called him on the day of John’s flight, Gabriel nearly jumped out of his seat. Luckily, Sam wasn’t in the room at the time, because it wouldn’t have taken a detective to notice the change in Gabriel’s demeanor.

“Hello?” Gabe asked, crossing his fingers that everything was still going as planned.

“Hey, just talked to my dad - the flight was delayed half an hour, but they said the skies are surprisingly clear for this time of year. He also complained about how packed the airport was, like it was some sort of surprise. But anyway, he should still be in with plenty of time, so no worries.” 

Breathing a sigh of relief, he thanked Dean and hung up before Sam caught them. He only needed to keep up the act for a little over a day now, and then he could just relax and enjoy the holidays. He couldn’t wait to see Sam’s reaction when he saw his dad. Gabe wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to top this present.

-

By the time Christmas eve rolled around, he was practically shoving Sam to get him out of the apartment, still desperately trying to pass it off as excitement. In a way, it was, but not for the reasons Sam was thinking. He was practically incapable of acting natural right now.

He almost, _almost_ forgot to text Dean when they were heading back. The lights had been beautiful, and the city all covered in snow was breathtaking. Sam had insisted on blasting carols the entire time, and Gabe was never going to get Jingle Bell Rock out of his head, for as long as he lived, but it was okay. Anything to make Sam happy.

Dean told him that they would be a couple of minutes, and that he needed to stall Sam a little longer, which he definitely hadn’t prepared for. Thank god they passed Rice Park right then.

“Wait, Sam, hold on a sec. We should get out for a little bit.”

In the center, there was a giant tree, at least eighty feet, all lit up and decorated to the top. It was freezing outside, and neither of them had the common sense to bring their full winter jackets, but he only needed to buy a little bit of time.

Sam agreed, pulling over into the first open space he could find. He shoved his hands in his pockets as soon as they got out, hoping to god that you couldn’t get frostbite that quickly.

It was almost ten, but between the streetlamps and the tree, you could barely even tell. Everything was bright, and the lights reflecting off the snow were brilliant. The only thing that could rival them was Sam’s smile, illuminated by the lights on the tree.

Even though he could barely feel his fingers, Gabe fumbled around with his phone until he was able to open the camera, taking a quick picture of Sam without him noticing. Then he asked someone to take their picture together. He almost didn’t want to kiss Sam in the picture, just because he didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, but then he thought “fuck that,” and leaned into Sam’s lips. The photographer, to her credit, didn’t bat an eye at the display, and returned his phone with a smile and a “merry Christmas.”

His nose was bright red, but the picture was still one of the cutest things he’d ever seen. They were definitely getting that framed.

Before he could put his phone back, he got a quick thumbs up text from Dean. He took one more minute to admire the city with Sam, and giving him one more quick kiss before they got in the car again. 

They drove back to the apartment, listening to the weirdest song he’d possibly ever heard of, about a cat and a mouse that become friends on Christmas eve. Though they weren’t entirely sure what to make of the ending, it did provide decent entertainment.

Gabe’s hands would’ve been shaking if they were warm enough. Sam unlocked the apartment, flipping on the lights once they were in the door.

Cas and John sat on each side of the couch, with Dean in between them. Gabriel didn’t know this until nearly a minute after walking in, because he was far too busy watching Sam’s face.

At first, he looked understandably startled, then happy, and now he looked like he was about to cry. Before any tears could fall, he pulled Gabriel in for a hug, so tight he probably crushed a few ribs in the process.

“Merry Christmas, babe.”

When they finally pulled apart, John had stood up, and Sam pulled him in for a hug as well. John didn’t melt into it quite as much as Gabriel had, but he certainly hugged back.

“Hey, dad.” Sam pulled back, and there were unmistakable tear tracks on his cheeks.

“Good to see you, Sam. Would you like to introduce me to your boyfriend now?”

Sam wiped at his eyes, grinning like a child.

“Yeah, uh, this is Gabriel. Gabe, this is my dad.”

Gabe stuck out his hand, smiling.

“Nice to meet you, sir.”

John’s handshake was firmer than he’d been expecting, and he was taller than Gabe had expected, but there was nothing overly intimidating about him. 

“You too, Gabriel. Please, call me John.”

Sam offered to go make hot chocolate for them all, dragging Gabe into the kitchen along with him.

“How did you do this?” He whispered, turning on the stove.

“Well, I definitely had help. Cas and Dean picked him up from the airport yesterday, and he’s staying in town until after new year’s.”

Sam turned towards him, pulling him into an unexpected but much welcomed kiss.

“Thank you. I love it. I love _you._ ”

There were more tears filling his eyes again, and Gabriel couldn’t hold back a laugh.

“I love you, too.”

Sam had to pull in a couple of chairs from the kitchen table, and he set down five steaming mugs of hot chocolate on the coffee table.

“So, uh, how was your flight?” Sam asked, at a loss for anything else to say.

John launched into a long story about the guy who’d been sitting next to him on the plane, and it was clearly one that Dean and Cas had already heard, but they listened anyways. He certainly had an entertaining manner of storytelling. 

Conversations sparked from there, and John asked a lot about how Sam and Gabe had met, and seemed genuinely interested in them all. He was exactly how Sam had described him - hardworking, dedicated, but still a very soft hearted person. Gabriel liked him already.

It was a little after one am when he even remembered that there were gifts to exchange, and Dean got up to bring everything out.

Sam laughed when he saw the gift he’d bought for his father again. Dean had stopped by a week ago to pick it up, saying that he could ship both of theirs together. It hadn’t seemed too weird at the time, but now he understood completely.

Packages were distributed to their recipients, and Lyla curled up on Cas’ lap while they were opened. Nobody had ever bothered to tell her that she was a little too big for that, so she’d never learned.

Cas pet her gently, in between sneezing. Still, when Sam offered to move her, he insisted that she was fine, and kept stroking her back.

Gabe laughed when he opened Sam’s gift - a homemade coupon book, like the ones kids gave to their moms on mother’s day. 

The first one said “good for one free massage,” and the next couple he flipped through were much the same. He was just about to put it down when Sam interjected.

“Nu-uh. Read until the end.”

Gabriel shook his head, but he was smiling as he read through the next ten or twelve items. On the very last coupon, it just said “good for one long weekend trip, anywhere you choose, anytime you want. Merry Christmas, love Sam.” Now he understood why he had to read the last one. He was already thinking of locations in his head.

It was the middle of the night, but nobody seemed to be running short on energy, except for Lyla. They stayed up talking until the sun rose, and Cas finally announced that they had to leave, so that everyone would have a chance to get ready before dinner at Bobby’s that night. John hadn’t seen his friend in a long time either, and he was looking forward to it at least as much as they were.

Once everyone was finally gone, Sam was on him, pushing him against the wall and pressing their mouths together.

“We’ve got hours before we need to leave. What d’you say we do a little bit more celebrating before we go?”

They managed to work in a few hours of sleep after their activities, so neither of them were too exhausted by the time dinner started. 

The rest of John’s visit went by quickly, and before Gabe could blink, they were sitting in front of the TV, counting down to the new year. When they got to one, Gabriel turned to kiss Sam, letting it go on a little longer than he’d intended. Then again, what better way was there to start off the new year?

Dropping John off at the airport had been hard, but Sam had to go back to work the next day anyways, and they’d had a wonderful time while it lasted. Sam still insisted that it was the one of the greatest gifts he’d ever gotten, and Gabriel’s heart swelled at the words. Maybe next time, they could go to him. He’d always wanted to go to Colorado.

Either way, he was glad Sam liked his gift, and it was a nice bonus that Dean had gotten to see him, too. Gabe was eternally grateful that Sam’s father had been supportive of hiss exuality growing up. He was certainly more accepting than Gabriel expected his own parents to ever be, but instead of being jealous, Gabe was just happy. He hoped that they’d be seeing more of John in the future.

x x x

Trying to think of a gift to get Gabriel was like trying to divide by zero. The more Sam thought about it, the more confused he got. Especially when every time he asked, all Gabe would say was “I don’t need anything. You’re gift enough.”

He knew in his heart that Gabe meant it, and he wasn’t just trying to be pointedly difficult, but it was still obnoxious. This wasn’t about whether or not he wanted something. He was getting a present either way, but if he would just answer honestly, it would take a lot of stress out of Sam’s life. 

By the time he finally thought of something worth giving him, Christmas was only a couple of weeks out, and since the gift was basically a concept, he still needed to work on his presentation. Still, a weekend trip would be a lot of fun for both of them, and now that Gabe was doing more walking, they could do almost anything, except maybe for mountain climbing.

Sam wasn’t always a huge fan of the holidays, but he was going to be damned if they didn’t have a good time this year. They were probably going to sleep in late on Christmas, before heading up to Bobby’s for dinner. It was great that Dean and Cas were dating, because that made it easier to spend the holidays all together.

There was still a little bitterness that John wouldn’t be able to meet the Novaks or come open gifts with them, but that was the only thing that was missing, really. Aside from that, Sam was really, truly happy, and he also couldn’t wait to see what Gabriel was giving him. Stupid ass hadn’t even had to ask what Sam wanted, he came up with it all on his own. He’d been taunting him for weeks with how great it was, and how much he was going to love it.

The entire city was strung up in holiday garb, with ornaments and garlands adorning every tree in sight, real or artificial. The snow frosted the tops off every building downtown, and the skyline up against clear, starry skies was a pretty rare sight. It was like all the magic from his early childhood had been thrown back in this year, and he hadn’t expected to feel that sort of Christmas spirit ever again.

The sweaters had been a bit of a compulsive thing. There was a shop advertising the best second hand ugly holiday sweaters, and how was he supposed to not go in?

When he came back from grocery shopping an hour later, he could hear Gabriel’s groan from a mile away. The sign certainly wasn’t bluffing, and these things were frickin’ _hideous._

The one he’d gotten for himself was one of the only ones available in his size, and featured a gigantic reindeer on the front, with a big red ball sewn on for the nose. Sam was delighted to find that it actually lit up, and that had completely made the sale. 

Gabriel’s sweater, if possible, was even uglier. The snowman on the front was bad enough, with its moustache and hawaiian shirt. The real kicker, though, was the back. In bright red, unmistakable words, it read “Holly Jolly Christmas,” except, it didn’t. It was supposed to, and probably did, five years ago. Since then, the first y, the J, _and_ the m had peeled off. That was what really put it over the top. It was just awful. And Sam loved it.

“What the _hell_ is _that_?” Gabriel asked, looking sincerely appalled. 

“I bought us Christmas sweaters. What do you think?” Sam was nothing if not smug, and Gabe hadn’t even seen both sides of his yet.

“I _think_ you’re not allowed to go shopping by yourself anymore. Jesus, Sam, that might be the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen, and that says a lot.”

Sam grinned at him triumphantly, pulling his own on and lighting the nose. 

“Come on Gabe, you know you’ll wear it.”

“And just why would I do that?”

Sam didn’t even hesitate on that one. It was too easy.

“Because you love me.”

Gabriel scoffed, crossing his arms.

“Pshh. I do not.”

There was a fake thoughtful look on Sam’s face, like he might really believe him.

“You’re sure?” He walked over until he was an inch away from Gabe’s face, practically breathing against his neck. “Not even a little bit?”

He could be mistaken, but he was pretty sure it was the ear nibbling that did him in.

“Alright! Fine, I’ll wear the stupid sweater. But I swear to god, you owe me for this.”

Still unnecessarily close, Sam whispered “I’m sure I can think of a way to make it up to you.”

And that was how, on Christmas eve, he managed to talk Gabriel into wearing that abomination while they went light searching. It really was ugly. 

He was being gracious, since they probably wouldn’t even have to get out of the car. Nobody had to see that sweater ever again. Or at least, he’d thought so, until Gabe asked him to pull over so they could look at the tree.

Rice park, despite it being pretty late on _the night_ before Christmas, was still full. Sam, noticing Gabe’s discomfort at the stares he was getting, turned on his own sweater to direct the attention at himself.

He was almost shocked that Gabe actually asked someone to take their picture. He was fairly certain that they couldn’t just crop out the sweaters, but that was okay. They stood under the tree, and just before she could take the picture, Gabriel leaned in to kiss him, full on. It was unexpected to say the least, but Sam just kissed him back, trying not to grin.

Gabe checked his phone before he announced that they could leave, and it wasn’t until that moment that Sam started to get suspicious. Still, he had no idea what he was suspicious of, so nothing had really been spoiled.

Whatever he might have guessed, walking into the apartment to find his father certainly wasn’t it. Sam kind of forgot how to speak for a few minutes. How had they even…?

This was it. This was the greatest Christmas he’d seen in seventeen years. He didn’t even care what happened for the rest of the season. This was everything he could’ve asked for.

He finally got to introduce Gabriel to his father. And from the looks of it, he and Cas had already met and were getting along pretty well. Dean certainly looked happy. God, this was _everything._

After they made the hot chocolate, they just stayed up and talked. It was so great, just being with the people he cared about, not worrying about work or anything else. He could die right now and it would be okay.

Even as they watched the sun come up, Sam still didn’t feel even a little tired. He was way too excited to go to sleep now.

As soon as their relatives were gone, Sam was all over Gabriel. He had the best, cutest boyfriend ever, and he wanted to show it, in the most fun way he could think of. After _that_ , he was finally able to go to sleep for a little while.

When they got to Bobby’s for dinner, Sam was surprised to hear that no one had thought to tell him that John was coming. 

“Dean, I asked you to do that!” Gabriel exclaimed, who must also have thought that Bobby had already been told.

“Oh. Uh, yeah, forgot to do that. Surprise?”

Bobby just laughed and welcomed them in. He was pretty happy to see John himself, even if he was a little shocked. It was a pleasant surprise, at least. 

Ellen and Jo came shortly after, as did Ash and Charlie. Charlie rarely made it to these kinds of things, but she made an exception for tonight. Sam had even brought Lyla, who was currently curled up on Cas’ lap, _again._ He didn’t seem to mind though, despite the fact that his eyes were getting red.

It started snowing again halfway into the meal, and the whole place looked like something out of a holiday special, or a christmas card. Granted, a very progressive, very homosexual one, but still. They were a pretty happy family.

The rest of the week went by in a blur, as he tried to catch up with John as much as he could. They didn’t talk on the phone nearly often enough, and it seemed like there was a lot that he had missed. Of course, in between answering his questions, Sam’s dad had a few of his own. He wanted to get to know Cas and Gabe, too, before he had to leave. 

He’d made one comment to Sam in private, when Gabe had gotten up to get a drink, that really stuck with him.

“I like this kid a lot. I think he’s good for you. Way more deserving than that Luce guy you were seeing last time. You should keep him.”

His father’s approval meant a lot more to Sam than he’d expected, and probably more than he’d ever care to admit. It also seemed like Gabriel liked John just as much, even if he had seemed a little timid at first.

He’d definitely warmed up to him by the end of the visit, and they were talking and laughing like old friends. John even mentioned that he would have to visit more often, and that Sam and Gabe had better still be together when he did.

Of course, new year’s was always a time to look back on the previous year, and boy did Sam have a lot to look back on this time.

From meeting Gabriel in what, January? To falling in love with him in the spring, and moving in together over the summer. In just twelve months, he’d gone from the introverted bachelor he’d always been to a sappy, head over heels love bird. 

Just before the ball could drop, he was still reflecting on everything that had happened. Every little detail that had brought him to where he was now, and everything that could have changed it, even a little. 

“New year, new Sam” had proven to be a raging success after all, even if it had taken a couple of weeks.

Starting the next year with Gabriel was the best way to do it, and he hoped that three hundred and sixty five days later, whatever happened between now and then, he would be able to end it the same way.

When the time came to drop John off at the airport, Sam was definitely not ready to see him leave yet. He’d better keep that promise of visiting more often, because there was no way that Sam was going to go another few _years_ without seeing him.

Once they were back at the apartment, just the two of them, Sam couldn’t stop kissing Gabriel. Not because he wanted to start anything, just because. Because he’d just had the most amazing week, and he couldn’t get enough of Gabe’s mouth, and he was totally not ready to start work tomorrow. Because there was no real way to accurately express how happy he was with words, or if there was he didn’t know it. Either way, Gabriel didn’t seem to have a problem with that, judging by how enthusiastically he returned them. 

While everyone around him seemed relieved that the holidays were finally over, Sam honestly couldn’t wait until next year. Couldn’t wait to reach into the back of the closet, and pull out those god awful sweaters, and do it all over again. He sincerely hoped that Gabriel felt the same way, and also that the sweaters would be making a reappearance. Speaking of, he need to get that picture of them by the tree framed. He wasn’t sure where to put it yet, but that definitely needed to be on display.


	16. Chapter 16

Just when everything seemed like it was going right, something was bound to go wrong. Like one little hole in the bottom of a bucket, all the problems just started spilling out. At first, the voicemail sounded innocent enough, but Gabriel couldn’t get it out of his head. This wasn’t right. They couldn’t keep on like this.

Sam had been out walking Lyla when Adam called, and Gabe had frankly just been too lazy to pick up the phone himself. It rolled over to voicemail, and he heard the message play as it was recorded.

“Uh hey, Sam, it’s me. Just calling to let you know that I found someone else to do the run with me this year, so don’t worry about it. Sorry you decided not to, though. Hey, maybe next year Gabriel could even go with us!   
See you at work tomorrow. Bye!”

Gabe had forgotten that Sam mentioned the annual run he and Adam always went on, but this was probably the time of year they would usually be training for it. The message sounded so harmless. But there was some inflection in there, some hint, and Gabriel just knew that _he_ was the reason Sam had dropped out.

But why? He’d and Sam had never even really talked about it, and he certainly hadn’t said anything to try and make Sam drop out. Gabriel didn’t care if Sam ran a marathon, even if he couldn’t. It’s not like they were literally attached at the hip, Sam was not only allowed to, but _supposed_ to have a life of his own. The more he thought about it, the more angry Gabriel got. Had Sam just _assumed_ that Gabriel didn’t want him to do it? Just _decided_ that he should hold himself back because of Gabe?

The thought of Sam turning down plans for Gabe was an unsettling one, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it made. Looking back, Sam had spoken less and less to his other friends since they’d started dating. He didn’t spend much time with anyone else, and when he did, he always brought Gabe with him. It sounded wrong when you put it that way, and that’s exactly what had been happening.

And then there was Gabriel. He was recovering, yeah, but he still let Sam do all the hard things for him, instead of doing it for himself. No matter how much he complained and insisted on being independent, he really hadn’t pushed that hard for it. He should be doing so much more on his own, but it had just been easier to ask for help. How much more progress would he have made if he’d done everything on his own?

_This is bad. This is really, really bad._ It didn’t take a lot of thinking for Gabriel to conclude that they were dangerously codependent, and this was a far cry from a healthy relationship. They were holding each other and themselves back, in different ways, and nothing good was ever going to come from it. 

He had to talk to Sam. Gabe was mentally kicking himself for the fact that it had taken so long to put the pieces together, but now that he had, they seriously needed to talk.

Luckily, (or maybe not,) Sam came home just then, kissing Gabriel on the cheek as he walked in. Rather than returning it, Gabriel just stared at him, holding the phone, unsure of what to say.

“Babe? What’s wrong? Dean and Cas are okay, right?” Sam’s tone of worry was what finally snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, they’re fine, but we need to talk.” He didn’t want to beat around the bush or drag this out any longer than he had to.

Sam’s face fell instantly. “We need to talk” never meant anything good. Never, in the history of humanity, had those words ever been followed by good news.

“About what?”

“Uh,” Gabriel coughed, shifting his eyes nervously up to Sam. “Adam called when you were out. Said he found someone new to run with, since you’d decided not to this year. And it got me thinking, and… you said no because of me, didn’t you?”

Sam swallowed and nodded, showing Gabriel that he definitely wasn’t supposed to know about that.

“Why? You know I wouldn’t have minded.” Gabe sounded more hurt than he did angry, and that only seemed to make things worse.

“It just felt weird. We would have to go and train all the time, and I usually run in the mornings for at least a few weeks leading up to it. I’d be gone a lot more, and with your legs and everything, I don’t know. I just didn’t think it was going to work this year.

Gabe ran a hand down his face, trying to compose himself.

“That’s the problem. I don’t want you to give up the things you like doing because of me. And don’t say you aren’t, because I know that this isn’t really the first time.”

That must have been unexpected, judging by the way Sam’s eyebrows shot up.

“What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?” Gabriel was trying his hardest not to raise his voice, but seriously, there was no way that Sam was _actually_ that oblivious. “You’ve barely seen any of your friends since we’ve been together. You never do things without me. I love that you keep me included, but Sam you’re allowed to do your own thing once in a while. It’s good for you.”

Sam just nodded again, waiting for Gabriel to continue, knowing that he had more to say.

“And me. Look at me. I haven’t even gotten my driver’s license back yet, and it’s been _months_. What does that say, huh? I’m like a kid, relying on his parent for rides all the time. It’s ridiculous.”

Sam could tell there was worse coming, and even though he didn’t want to sit there and hear it, he couldn’t exactly deny what was being said.

“Sammy... We’re holding each other back, and I don’t think it’s doing either of us any favors. We’re forgetting how to be independent, and I don’t want that to happen.”

Gabriel looked like the next words were going to tear him apart, like it was physically painful to say them. But what other choice did he have?

“I think it would be best for both of us if we spent some time apart.”

And just like that, the tears started falling. At least Gabriel wasn’t the only one crying.

“Are you breaking up with me?” Sam sounded desperate, and it was heartbreaking. “Gabe, come on. I’ll call Adam back, you can go learn to drive again. Gabriel, _please._ ”

Shaking his head, Gabe motioned for Sam to stop talking.

“No, I don’t - I don’t want to break up. I mean, not if you don’t want to. But this isn’t working, I’m not getting better, and you’re putting your life on hold for me. We need to take a break.”

Sam was still trying to process. It probably still sounded like Gabriel was trying to break up with him.

“How long? And where are you going to live? What does ‘a break’ even mean?”

How was he supposed to answer that when Sam looked at him like that, so fragile and lost.

“I don’t know. Hopefully, not too long. I mean, I still love you, so goddamn much. But you have to be able to see why we need this, right? I don’t know about housing yet. God, Sam, I don’t want to do this either, but I just - I think we have to.”

“But you want to stay together…?” Now there was confusion accompanying the sadness on Sam’s face.

“Of course, Sam. You’re, like, the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But I need to do this, for both of us. And I...I don’t think we should see each other at all, for at least a while. You need to go out and remind your friends that you haven’t forgotten them. And I need to try and remember who I was before that accident, and how to be a little more like that again.”

Sam still looked heartbroken, but he seemed to understand, at least.

“So, you don’t want to see each other. Does that rule out talking at all? Like, phone calls, texting...everything?”

Gabe had to think about that for a minute. How very badly did he want to say no, because how was he ever supposed do any of this, acting like he didn’t know Sam at all. But that was stupid.

“Afraid so. I don’t think talking is going to help. I mean, every rule has exceptions, and if you need me, I’ll still be here. But unless it’s an emergency, I think it’s best if we don’t talk. It sounds horrible right now, but it’ll probably make things easier in the long run.”

There was a lull in conversation, where Sam just tried to even out his breathing.

“But you promise you’ll come back?”

“Of course I will. Just not for a little while, maybe a month or two. I think this will be good for us, even if ‘s hard at first.”

A month or two. It wasn’t that long, but apart, it might just as well have been an eternity.

“A month or two.” Sam exhaled slowly, standing up to pace a little bit. “We could put most of your things in my storage unit. It’s pretty empty. I mean, if you’re really not leaving for good, it would be easier to keep everything here.” He still sounded unsure, like Gabe would get one little taste of freedom and find someone new, and just up and leave, permanently.

“Cross my heart. I don’t think I could ever _really_ break up with you. But we need this, really. I don’t think I see any other way around it.” thinking about everything that had happened, Gabriel wasn’t even sure if this would be enough. But it was worth a shot.

-

After their conversation, Gabe called Cas to fill him in, and Cas offered to take the next day off and help him move his stuff back in for a while.

Gabriel thought about spending that night on the couch, but what was the point? They weren’t breaking up. He wasn’t even mad at Sam. They might as well not treat it like something it wasn’t.

He climbed into bed next to Sam, pulling the blankets up over them, trying to remember how everything felt. He didn’t fall asleep for a long time, just felt Sam’s arms around him as his breathing evened out. He tried not to think about how long it might be before he could have this again.

Sam gave him one last kiss before leaving for work the next day, barely keeping himself together as he said goodbye.

-

When Gabriel finally willed himself to get out of bed and go on with the miserable day ahead of him, he found a note on the kitchen counter that reminded him of the first week they’d lived together. Except this one had a key with it, and directions to Sam’s storage. He folded up the note and tucked it in his pocket, taking the key as well. Gabriel did his very best to ignore the fact that the note was signed “Love, Sam,” but it wasn’t working too well. Somehow, knowing that Sam loved him was only making things harder right now.

-

Cas came by an hour or so later to help, and by lunch, they were loading up the car with the last of his necessities, after bringing everything else down to storage.

Gabe wasn’t sure that moving in with Cas was the best plan, since that still meant that he’d be living _with_ someone, but Cas promised not to get in the way of him doing things on his own. In fact, from the sound of things, he was spending an awful lot of time at Dean’s right now, anyways. _At least our brothers know how to have a real relationship_ Gabriel thought bitterly, sliding into the passenger seat.

-

He was still dwelling on the fact that he wasn’t going to see Sam for at least a month. That was over four weeks. Four weeks of basically cutting out the man he loved. If it hadn’t seemed completely necessary, he wished there was some other way to fix things. But how? Separation was the obvious cure for codependency, and there wasn’t much way around that.

It hurt knowing that Sam probably felt the same way. The longing, the guilt. Gabe felt like his chest was on fire just thinking about him. At least he didn’t have to live in the place that they’d shared for nearly half a year. It was probably pretty horrible that Sam did. 

At least they’d checked to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. He didn’t want Sam accidentally finding something of his, and making this any harder than it had to be. 

Cas gave him a sympathetic smile once the last box was in, and he started to unpack things. He was back to living with his brother again, almost an exact year later. Irony was a bitch.

“Do you think he’ll change his mind?” Gabriel asked, trying not to sound too worried about it, even though the question was eating him up inside.

“Change his mind about what?” Cas hadn’t mentioned Sam once, and now it seemed like he was uncomfortable talking about him, even when Gabriel was the one to bring it up.

“About getting back together. I mean, what if when this is all over, Sam decides he likes it better that way?”

Cas looked like he’d never heard anything so stupid, which was at least a little comforting.

“Are you kidding me?” Cas didn’t sound angry, but certainly shocked. “Gabriel, do you have _any_ idea how much he cares about you? I don’t think he’s going anywhere. From what it sounds like, _you_ were the one pushing him away.”

He had been, but only because Gabriel knew that if he didn’t push, then he wouldn’t even be able to convince himself. There had never been a single part of him that wanted to break up, and there never would be. 

“You’re sure?”

Cas rolled his eyes, and Gabriel was starting to feel like an idiot.

“Of course I am.”

Gabe wasn’t sure if that really made things any easier, but then again, the note in his pocket probably wasn’t doing too much good, either. He just didn’t feel like he was able to get rid of it yet.

He opened up his phone to go over the checklist, only to remember that the background was still that picture of the two of them from Christmas eve, and turned it off again. This was going to be a looong month.

-

Waking up alone was as unpleasant as ever, and realizing that he still had a lot more of it ahead of him was no comfort. But there was no point in doing this at all if he didn’t make the most of their separation. Mustering up all of his willpower, Gabe managed to get himself fed and dressed, and over breakfast he asked Cas to take him to the DMV after work.

He was going to do this, and he was going to be better for it. He just had to keep reminding himself that he’d be thankful for it later. He’d made it to thirty one years old without being in a serious relationship. Now that he actually had one, he could last a month apart. And if he couldn’t, that only reinforced his reasons for leaving.

x x x

It was so out of the blue. There was nothing that could get your heart beating faster than hearing your significant other say the words “we need to talk.” especially not when it was paired with a facial expression like the one Gabriel was currently displaying.

The conversation definitely hadn’t gone in any direction he’d been expecting, but it was still about as bad as he’d been afraid of. How none of this had occurred to him before, sam had no idea. Now that Gabe mentioned it, though, it all started to make sense.He felt like he was gonna be sick.

Sam knew that he had put a few things aside here and there because of Gabriel. But none of it had been that important, so it wasn’t a big deal. Or at least, he hadn’t thought so. Hearing Gabriel talk about it, though, it was starting to sound like maybe it wasn’t as insignificant as he’d been telling himself. He really hadn’t seen much of his other friends lately, and it was kind of inconsiderate.

But it still seemed like there had to be some other option besides separation, although Gabe was pretty insistent that this was the best way. And maybe he was right. Even so, there was no way that Sam would be able to make it through a month or two, if he didn’t know that it wasn’t forever. Knowing that Gabriel was going to come back, that he just needed a little time apart, was the only thing that was going to keep him going.

At least they weren’t mad at each other. There was no yelling, or fighting at all, really. More of a mutual understanding. Sam was fairly certain that this wasn’t a typical thing couples did, but hopefully everything would be okay in the end. At least they both cared enough to try.

-

After a year together, life without Gabe was going to be hard, even if it was only temporary. Waking up the next day, and knowing that it would be the last time they saw each other or spoke for weeks was horrible. Sam almost couldn’t force himself to go to work, and he would’ve been much more content laying in bed and not moving all day. 

He put a note on the counter and left, trying not to think about how he’d be coming home to a nearly empty apartment again in a few hours. This was going to be a long day.

-

Work dragged on monotonously, and Sam purposefully avoided Adam at lunch. None of this was really his fault, and Sam wasn’t blaming him for anything, but he didn’t want to risk a question about Gabriel. Not today. He was already not too fond of the idea of explaining everything to Dean, but that one wasn’t much of an option, especially given the fact that he was dating Gabriel’s brother.

-

The apartment was so strikingly _empty_ when he got back, that for a second Sam almost thought he was in the wrong one. But no, it was just that half of the things had been removed. Even Lyla looked pretty lonely, like she already missed him, too.

But hey, he was an adult, right? He could totally do this. Between work, and Lyla, and whatever else, the days were just going to fly by. And if they didn’t, at least he’d manage to get through them.

Except that the more he told himself that bullshit, the slower time seemed to pass. Maybe the key was just to not think about it. Maybe the key was just to take a long shower and pretend nothing was unusual.

-

the shower idea worked pretty well for a while, but when it came time to try and sleep, Sam knew there was no way he was going to be able to sleep in that bed. Not when the sheets still smelled like Gabriel’s shampoo. Not with all that open space next to him. There was no way he would be able to sleep like that, he couldn’t even kid himself.

With a groan, Sam grabbed a spare blanket and pillow from the linen cupboard and made his way to the couch, making a mental note to wash the sheets the next day, and maybe buy a body pillow or something. Anything that would make his room more bearable.

-

He woke up the next morning with the worst backache of his life, which was probably from curling up on a couch half his height, but at least he’d slept. It was a start.

Thank god it was Friday, so he still had work as a distraction for most of the day. Weekends were going to be nightmarish. He wouldn’t really have anything to fill the time with and that probably meant a lot more thinking, and a lot more missing, and nothing good in the end.

It took a minute to try and come up with something he did with his time back when he was single. It wasn’t much, and it probably wasn’t the best idea of his life, but sometimes alcohol _was_ the solution.

Sam picked up the phone, hoping that his brother didn’t already have other plans. It was a little last minute, but if there was ever a time when Sam needed a beer, it was now.

“Hey, Dean, it’s me. Are you busy tonight? I was thinking we could go out for drinks.”

Dean took a second to answer, probably because he’d just woken up.

“Uh, yeah, that’s fine. Cas told me about you and Gabe though, so if you think I’m gonna let you get smashed, find somebody else.”

“Oh.” He paused, wondering if he should’ve told Dean himself. “What did Cas tell you?” Sam tried not to sound desperate. He really shouldn’t have asked in the first place. He was there, he already knew what had happened, so why did Cas’ version matter?

“Well, he just said that you were taking some time apart, and Gabe was going to be staying with him again for a bit. We can talk about it tonight.”

“Okay, sure. I gotta go to work now anyways. Does seven work for you?” Sam didn’t say where, since Dean already knew which bar it would be. They only ever really went to one.

“See you there. And Sammy?” There was a rare note of concern in Dean’s voice.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t get too worked up over it. I know you guys. It’s gonna be fine in the end.”

Sam nodded, before he remembered that they were on the phone.

“Thanks. See you later.”

“Bye.”

He hadn’t even really been thinking about getting hammered until Dean had brought it up. Maybe if he drank enough tonight, he could spend Saturday focusing on a hangover instead of Gabriel. Unfortunate as it was, the idea of vomiting into a toilet all morning sounded a lot less painful than thinking about the possibility of not seeing Gabriel again. Of course, Dean had just said he wouldn’t let that happen, but maybe when he heard the full story, he’d understand.

-

Sam turned on the radio on his drive to work, regretting it almost instantly as “Missing You” drifted through the stereo. God, they hadn’t even broken up, and it was still the worst breakup of his life. 

-

By the time seven came around, Sam was already a bit of a wreck. When he’d gone to the store, he was five seconds away from accidentally texting Gabriel to ask what he wanted. His finger had been right above the send button when he realized what he was doing.

Dean, of course, seemed to realize this all right away when he got there.

“Look, you don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I think you probably should. If I understood what was going on, maybe I could help.” Dean was doing his best to be helpful, which Sam appreciated, even if he was in no mood to talk about things. Dean was probably right.

Sam nodded, tipping back his bottle again and wishing it was stronger. “I don’t really have that much to tell you. Gabriel thought we were too attached, too codependent on each other, and the best way to fix that was spending some time apart. I’m clearly not handling it all that well.”

Dean looked like he was debating whether or not to say something, and it looked like he’d decided on “fuck it, I’m gonna tell him.”

“Well, according to Cas, Gabe isn’t doing a lot better. He still thinks it was the right thing to do, but he’s certainly not enjoying himself.”

Sam knew that that was supposed to make him feel better, even though it really didn’t.

“He was right. I mean, I hate everything right now, but there was definitely something wrong with how we were treating our relationship.”

“Well hey, it looks like you’re gonna make it work. I don’t doubt for a minute that you guys will get back together at the end of this, and everything’ll be alright.” Dean actually sounded more sure of that than Sam felt, but it was nice to know that at least _someone_ was confident about things. Sam was still holding out hope that he was right.

-

Three beers and several shots of god knows what later, he was pretty out of it, and Dean must have abandoned his previous promise about not letting Sam get smashed. He was still pushing glasses of water at Sam every so often, insisting that he would be too hungover to breathe the next day if he didn’t. Sam was still trying to figure out why he said that like it was a bad thing.

Dean drove his brother home, leaving Sam’s car in the parking lot overnight. There was no way in hell he was going to let the kid get behind the wheel in this shape.

-

Once Sam was relatively dressed for sleeping and in his own bed, he was snoring before you could snap. Dean made a silent exit, putting some Advil and a glass of water on the nightstand before he left. Sam would thank him for it later.

-

Sam hadn’t expected to wake up in his own bed, after spending the previous night on the couch, but Sam couldn’t reflect too much on that with a headache like his. When he noticed the bottle on his bedside table, he remembered that Dean had driven him home last night. Which also meant that today, he had no car, and nothing to do for at least fourteen or so hours before he could go back to sleep.

Fourteen hours, and absolutely nothing to prevent his thoughts from wandering to things they shouldn’t. Even after Luce left, it hadn’t been like this. Gabriel was occupying every corner of his consciousness, until there was nowhere left to run and hide from it. 

Reading was out of the question, at least until the meds kicked in. It hurt just _looking_ at words at the moment. That left either wallowing in self pity, or watching shitty TV shows, and he happened to choose the second option. Of course, there were thirty channels of soaps and sitcoms before he saw anything even remotely interesting, and even that was only mildly entertaining. It was a movie about...something. At this point, he didn’t know or care. Anything to occupy his time, anything at all. Sam was just desperate for some sort of a distraction.

-

The movie was terrible, as it turns out, but he managed to go a whole two hours without thinking about Gabe. As pathetic as that sounded, Sam was going to call it a success. Sometimes you had to celebrate the little victories.

Then again, it was still only about lunch time, and the ibuprofen had done next to nothing. Sam still had most of the day ahead of him, and he also needed to go get his car back. He nearly considered calling Cas to take him over to get it, since he lived a lot closer than Dean, but then he realized that Gabe was just as likely to pick up the phone. That, and he really didn’t need to know that Sam had gone out and gotten drunk enough that someone else drove him home. He finally caved and just called a taxi, more willing to fork over a few bucks than risk the wrong Novak answering the phone.

The driver, thank god, didn’t ask why he needed to go to a bar at noon, instead keeping up a polite conversation about the weather, and the snow, and how at least it was a little warmer than the previous year.

Before Sam realized it, they were at the bar. He’d been so focused on talking that he hadn’t gone back to his mulling. Sure, now that he was alone that was the automatic direction of thought, but for a little while, the driver had been a temporary distraction. Not enough of one, but he’d take whatever he could get right now. He got back into his car, which was freezing cold, but at least the engine turned over alright. He drove back to the apartment, focusing all of his attention on whatever useless drama the radio hosts were talking about. If he was ever going to survive the next few weeks, Sam was going to need every distraction he could find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry


	17. Chapter 17

Cas apartment wasn’t too different than the last time Gabriel had been there, except, if possible, it seemed even _more_ depressing now. Of course, maybe that’s just because it wasn’t Sam’s. Whatever the reason may be, Gabe was less than thrilled to be here, and he wouldn’t be if he didn’t think it was one hundred percent necessary. He just didn’t see any other way that they would be able to make things right, without putting a little distance in place, at least for now.

He needed things to work out with Sam. The only reason he wanted to spend _any_ time apart was because he was afraid of losing Sam forever. Anything to dig themselves out of the hole they’d fallen into these past few months.

It also didn’t particularly help that Cas was always out doing something with Dean, or talking on the phone with him, or some other stupid couple thing. Sure, it was great that Cas was happy, but did he have to be so loud about it? And did it have to be with Sam’s brother? 

Most of the time Gabriel was able to at least convince himself that this plan was the smarter, more mature thing to do for their situation, even if it was miserable. But occasionally, he started to worry that it wasn’t even that. That after the initial pain subsided, he was worried that Sam would go out and have a great time without him and not want Gabriel back. He knew better than to say anything, because Cas would only tell him that he was being ridiculous, but it just sounded too possible to ignore. What if all he’d succeeded in doing was pushing Sam into someone else’s arms?

Still, he had to feel proud of himself as the first few days ended. It had almost been a full week, and he’d managed to start driving again, sort of. Actually, Gabriel still had the insurance money to replace his car after the accident, but there hadn’t been a reason to yet. Now, though, it seemed like a good idea to start looking for something.

-

Probably against his better judgement, Gabriel had kept the note Sam had written him on that last day before he left. Whenever he worried about things going to hell after all this, he just read over the “I love you” until he could make himself believe it. That, or until the words started to blur together from looking at them too long. Whichever came first.

Work was also kind of crazy lately, and honestly, this was probably the only time in his life that would be a good thing. It was something to do, and when Cas wasn’t there to talk to, his job was the only thing keeping him sane. If he were left to his own thoughts for that long, he probably would have already caved.

Things were booming in the web design business, apparently, and everything was going fantastic until he came across another wedding website, this time for a photographer. The groom in one of the pictures reminded him of Sam, and the absolutely delighted smile on his face only made it hurt more. He wondered if Sam was hurting as much as he was right now. On the one hand, he didn’t want Sam to be sad, but on the other, if he was, then that meant that he actually missed Gabriel and wanted him back. It might have been a little selfish, but Gabriel hoped that Sam was still thinking about him, at least some of the time. 

The photographs on the wedding website were beautiful, and Gabe made a mental note that if he ever got married, this was the guy he was gonna call. Right now, though, staring at a bunch of happy couples just felt like taking a dagger to the chest, and halfway through the job he had to take a break just so he didn’t have to look at them anymore. He couldn’t wait until all of this was over.

-

It honestly sucked how much everything reminded him of Sam these days. He was just out driving when he saw a girl walking her German Shepherd, and almost had to pull over. It was ridiculous. He had to try and get over Sam, without _actually_ being over Sam, and some days it just seemed like life itself was mocking him. He couldn’t remember feeling so lonely in his life.

He was going about this like it was a breakup, even though it had been _Sam_ stating that he didn’t want that in the first place. But why had leaving felt so final? It was like the longer they were apart, the more time Sam had to realize that he actually didn’t like Gabe at all, and this opportunity just made it that much easier to leave him for someone else. Someone better.

Despite not having voiced any of these fears to anyone but himself, Gabriel found Dean calling him out of the blue about a week and a half into their separation. At first he’d thought that Dean had probably been calling for Cas, but then Gabriel realized that he’d called his cell.

“Uh, hi Dean? What’s up?” He tried not to sound worried, because he was afraid that Dean would only have called him if something had happened to Sam. If something happened to Sam while they were separated, he would probably never forgive himself.

“Hey Gabriel. I just wanna talk about some stuff. Is this a good time?”

Well, it really depended on the topic of conversation, but he could probably guess what Dean had in mind for that.

“Yeah, I guess. As good a time as any. What’s up?”

He could hear Dean take a breath on the other end before continuing, and braced himself for whatever was going to follow. As long as Sam was safe, that was all he really cared about.

“I just talked to Sam, and I’m sure you already know that he isn’t exactly handling things well. I know you’re doing the right thing here, and I respect that, but I also know you told him after a few weeks you’d go back. I just called to ask if… well, when you said that, you meant it, right?” Dean sounded worried, and it was a little startling. How could Dean possibly sound so unsure about that? Had he even _met_ Gabriel?

“Of course I did. Sam’s, like, the best thing that ever happened to me. He knows that, doesn’t he?” Gabriel was shocked that Sam could doubt that. Of _course_ he was going to go back. That was his home.

“Uh, no, I don’t think he does, actually. He’s pretty doubtful right now. I needed to make sure you weren’t lying about that. I’ve haven’t seen Sam that happy in _years_ , as much as he was with you. And if you take that away from him without even a proper goodbye, I swear to god, I will kick your ass, and I don’t care that you’re Cas’ brother.”

Gabriel couldn’t help laughing a little.

“I respect that. And no, I’m not leaving him if he isn’t leaving me. I can’t believe he doesn’t know that.”

“Yeah, well, he can be a bit dense sometimes. But what Luce did? Just leaving? I don’t think he could make it if you did that to him. So don’t.”

How anyone had managed to do that, to pass up on someone like Sam, they must have been out of their mind. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it. I’m crazy about that kid, and he deserves better than that.”

Dean sighed, a sound of agreement and relief.

“You’re damn right he does. But really, I hope you’re doing alright. You two had better make this work, because I promise, you don’t find something like that twice.”

Gabe couldn’t exactly say that they were close, but he could tell that this wasn’t a typical thing for Dean, and he never would’ve made this call if he didn’t care that much about his brother. Gabriel was glad that Sam had that kind of support in his life. 

“Well, thanks for keeping him honest for me. And I promise, if he still wants me back in three weeks, I’ll never change my mind.” Gabriel was trying not to ask anything else about Sam, because it would probably just hurt even more. He was already upset enough that Sam was so doubtful of him.

“Trust me, he’s not going to change his mind, either” Dean assured, sounding a lot more relaxed now that he knew Gabriel wasn’t going to leave his brother. It made Gabe wonder what Sam had been like after the Luce incident.

“I hope you’re right.”

“Scouts honor, Gabe. I gotta go. Have a good one, alright?”

“You too. And thanks.” It was shocking how a two minute conversation had made him so calm, but if anyone knew Sam better than he did, it was Dean. And if Dean said Sam still wanted him, then Gabriel was pretty confident that it was true.

“Anytime.”

-

After the phone call with Dean, things got considerably easier. He still missed Sam like crazy, but now there was essentially no doubt that he’d get him back, and it was only a matter of time until they were together again. Not even that much time, if he thought about it objectively. How did people in long distance relationships even do this? A month was starting to seem like an eternity.

There were still those little moments at four in the morning when he couldn’t fall asleep, and everything that Dean said sounded like a lie, but they passed pretty quickly. As the days passed by, he was more and more glad that they’d done this, confident that it would help in the long run.

-

He earned his license again and bought a used car, and he was up to walking long distances with his cane. Usually, he could even cover short ones without it. He hoped Sam was faring as well in his own respects, and that he’d broadened his circle of friends again. Devoting all of your time to one other person wasn’t love, it was obsession, and that had been Sam’s biggest flaw. 

-

The anniversary of Gabriel’s accident came and went uneventfully, and it seemed like they were going to have at least a little less snow this year. 

He hadn’t expected to find a voicemail on the one year mark of the day they’d met, and he knew that hearing Sam’s voice would only make things harder, but he still couldn’t help himself from listening.

He pressed play, knowing it was from Sam without even looking at the number.

“Hey, babe. I know we weren’t really going to talk to each other, but… I just wanted to call and wish you a happy anniversary. Well, it sort of is, at least. I hope everything is going well. I still miss you like hell, but it’s gotten better. Lyla misses you, too. Only a little while to go now though, right?

“Anyways, I hope you have a good day. I’ll be thinking about you, not that that’s exactly out of the ordinary.

“Bye, see you soon. Love you!”

Sam almost sounded like he was choking up a bit at the end, and when Gabe thought about it, he probably was. It had almost been enough for Gabe to say fuck it and call things quit early, but that missed the point a bit, and he didn’t want to have put them both through all of this for nothing. They would just have to hold it together for a couple more weeks, 

Still, as soon as he was sure Sam was already at work, Gabe called the landline and left a message of his own. It was definitely crossing the boundary of not calling or texting one another, but weren’t holidays and whatnot an exception? I mean, it was sort of important, so he could allow a bit of cheating. They’d made it this far, he figured that one little call wasn’t going to ruin everything.

He had to think about what he was going to say first, since he would only have enough time to say so much. In the end, though, he thought it sounded okay. He hoped that Sam would think so, too.

-

Gabriel just had to pull himself through a little bit longer here, a little bit more, and he could go home again. Because even though Cas was family, and he was great and all, this wasn’t Gabe’s home. Not anymore. 

Recently, it didn’t seem much like Cas’ either, actually, and Gabe was starting to wonder when his brother and Dean would start living together. Hopefully, as soon as Gabe moved out again, they’d eraliz This place was depressing, and from what he’d heard, Dean’s place was a lot nicer. 

Gabriel was still dreading that visit to their parent’s where they got to explain that he and Cas _both_ had boyfriends now. He hadn’t dreaded a trip this much in years. Zack was gonna have a heart attack.

Gabe knew that he really should call his parents soon, though, since his mom was still interested in having Cas and him up again. Hopefully the invitations included a plus one each, since it seemed like they’d need it. And with Dean’s fear of flying, it was probably going to end up being a cross country roadtrip with the Winchester-Novaks. God, it was starting to sound like a sitcom episode.

-

Gabriel knew that even his mother would never be as well adjusted to things as John had been, but maybe it was just the Christian thing. Hard as she tried not to listen, the church was still pretty adamant about how sinful homosexuality was. It was the twenty first century, you’d think everyone would’ve gotten over it by now. But even so, he had no qualms that his mother would like Sam, and probably Dean, too. How could anyone not?

Before that, though, he still had a private weekend trip to redeem, for just himself and Sam, and he had a mental list compiled of possible destinations, even though he was pretty sure they’d be doing a lot of the same things no matter where they went.

Honestly, up until that thought crossed his mind, he hadn’t even thought about how much he missed having sex with Sam. Now, though, he realized that a month without _that_ was an impressive feat all on its own. Then again, makeup sex was the best kind, so there was that to look forward to soon, too. 

Gabe looked back at the calendar again, and flipped to February, trying to figure out which would be the best weekend to have it. After all the drama and everything that had happened this month, a private vacation sounded really nice right about now. And maybe a drink, too.

The rest of the day passed without note, and he was a little said that they wouldn’t be able to celebrate at all. At least they still had the anniversary of their first date coming up soon, and that would be right at the one month mark. Gabe knew that they hadn’t discussed the exact date he would go back, but since he still had his key to the apartment, there was a part of him that thought he might just show up and surprise Sam. And hey, this time he could even drive himself there. 

They were so close now, he could almost hear Lyla’s excited barking as she welcomed him back, could almost feel sam’s arms wrapping around him. As he counted down the final days till their reunion, Gabriel started to plan exactly when and what he wanted to do. He’d liked the idea of surprising Sam, and what better time to do it than on their anniversary? He’d have to go back by then anyway, because like hell was he not going to celebrate that day _with_ Sam.

x x x

After the initial few days of being apart, Sam finally started learning to branch out and talk to other people again. Missing Gabriel didn’t fade, and he still couldn’t wait to see him again, but he wasn’t forgetting about his other friends now, either. 

He had seen Adam a lot more recently, and caught up with Charlie a couple of times. Sam was a far cry from extroverted, but he had his own circle of comfort, and getting together with friends every once in a while was more enjoyable than he’d remembered. It seemed like they were happy to be seeing him more, too, even if it wasn’t under the greatest circumstances ever. thankfully, everyone had the courtesy to not bring Gabriel up too much in conversations.

Even so, Sam still just wanted it to be over already, so Gabe could move in again and they wouldn’t have to swear off contact any more. But once he was back, things were going to be different. Sam was done with ignoring the rest of the world, because he could still spend plenty of time on Gabriel without fixating like he had been. He wasn’t about to let a month of hell go to waste, and not learn anything important from it. If they were going to do this, then they were going to do it _right_ this time.

-

There were little bursts of missing Gabriel that would interrupt Sam’s day sometimes, like when the light would bounce off of something and make the perfect shade of honey-golden, or when he passed by a place they’d gone to together. Mostly, they only brought good memories, though, and even if it stung a little bit now, he knew that it was only temporary. Being without Gabriel was also giving Sam an even greater appreciation of how much Gabe meant to him. He’d never really realized before just how long a single month could feel.

It wasn’t getting easier, necessarily, but Sam was getting a little more used to being apart. They weren’t quite the same thing, but he still thought that it was probably good. If he could keep himself from getting too clingy again, then it would be worth it. Spending time together was necessary for couples, but so was being apart sometimes. He just needed to find a balance between the two.

Some things _were_ getting easier as time passed, but not most. A lot of nights, even later into the month, Sam still had trouble falling asleep alone, and being by himself all the time. The apartment just felt less alive without Gabriel there. That, and he was also feeling rather kiss-deprived lately, and that wasn’t something that could be solved with sleep aids or Netflix.

As the third week passed, Sam knew that the anniversary of when they met was right around the corner, and even though they weren’t going to be together for it, he still couldn’t help feeling like he should do _something_. 

Leaving a voicemail was a little bit of a risky choice, since Gabe could’ve picked up, and they weren’t supposed to be speaking anyways, but he figured that if he left it late enough at night, he would probably get the answering machine.

-

While he was just hoping that it wasn’t crossing too many lines, Sam had never actually expected a response from Gabriel. When he saw the message on his phone in between clients, he had to use all of his willpower not to check it until he got home.

Sam actually didn’t know what he expected it to say, but he was pretty sure that Gabe wouldn’t be chewing him out for breaking their rule. At least, he was hoping that was the case. 

He was surprised that when he pressed play, the first sound was a shaky breath before the speaking started. He hadn’t even realized just how much he’d missed Gabriel’s voice until now, but suddenly, it hit him like a train.

“Hey, Sammy. 

“I miss you. Life’s gotten pretty boring without you here to entertain me, to be honest. And you can tell Lyla that I miss her, too.” There was another pause, like he didn’t quite know what he wanted to say.

“Damn. A year already. Three hundred and sixty five days, and every one of them, I’ve been glad that I met you. The last couple of weeks haven’t been my favorite, but if that’s what it takes, then I guess that’s what I’ll do.

“I can’t wait to see you again, either. Dean happened to mention that you were worried that I hadn’t meant it when I said I’d come back. Hopefully you know better by now, but just in case, I figure I should remind you - I’m coming back. I’ll stay until you make me leave, and I mean that. Nothing could keep me away from you, babe.

“Love you too, Sam. Happy anniversary.”

It was short and to the point. And yet, the message had still been enough to make Sam’s eyes misty. The little note at the end, even before the I love you, just saying that he was coming back, had been everything Sam needed him to say. He needed to hear that reassurance, because no matter how many times Dean told him that he was coming back, hearing it from Gabriel made it so much more believable.. Then again, the “love you” didn’t hurt, either.

Sam’s own message had been cut a little short, because he didn’t want his voice to break on the call. It was supposed to end with him wishing Gabriel well in his whole independence thing, but he’d had to cut that bit out when the lump had started forming in his throat. From what Dean told him, though, Gabe was doing a lot better, anyways, and that he’d even started driving again. Sam couldn’t help being proud for him, even though it probably would’ve happened earlier if he hadn’t insisted on driving Gabriel everywhere himself.

-

The month finally seemed like it had started passing by, and the days on the calendar brought them closer and closer to the end. Sam still had a lot of Gabe’s stuff down in storage, just waiting to be brought back in. Boxes upon boxes of books and knickknacks and things, sitting down there, begging to be put out again.

From talking to his brother, Sam also found out that pretty soon after Gabriel moved out again, Dean was going to talk to Cas about living together themselves. Of course, that would be fantastic, so Sam hoped that he actually asked, instead of backing out like he usually did. Plus, Cas’ place was sort of dismal, so Sam was pretty sure a change in location would be good for him. Hell, there were even some open spots in Sam’s building that they could look at if they moved, assuming they didn’t want to just stay in Dean’s apartment. 

This was probably the most committed relationship that Dean had been in throughout his entire life, and from what Sam had seen of the two of them together, he and Cas were really, truly happy. It seemed like Dean had finally found the right person. Sam had to stop thinking about that, however, because it wasn’t making being away from Gabriel any easier right now. 

He just had to pull through things for a few more days, and before he knew it, Gabriel would be back and they would be together again. Now that there was no doubt in his mind of Gabriel’s return, and it was just a matter of time, he could handle things. He could hold out on this. He’d made it this far, and he was finally in the home stretch, close enough to count down the hours.

-

Sam actually didn’t know the exact day that Gabe would be returning, but he assumed that he’d get a call or a text or something. He hoped there would be enough notice to do something nice, maybe plan a dinner or a date somewhere. After Gabe had moved in the first time, they stopped going out on dates as much, which he actually missed. Going places and doing things together was half the fun of a relationship, and while staying in was great sometimes, there was still a lot of stuff he wanted to do. 

Now that he was doing pretty well with walking, Gabe would probably be able to get back into biking this summer, and that was something they could do together, too. And they were still going on that weekend trip, at some point. Maybe when he got back, they could start planning that.

Sam had tried his damned hardest this month not to think about sex, but honestly, he was really looking forward to that, too. Just being able to tough Gabriel again in general was going to be nice.

There were so many things that Sam was just an inch away from getting back, and luckily, his loneliness started to turn into excitement as the return drew nearer. All of the things he’d taken for granted the first time around were going to be even better now. 

He was determined to do better this time. Not just with the things Gabe had mentioned at the start of all this, but with everything. Sam was going to take him out more, and sneak dorky pictures of him when he was asleep, and buy little random presents just because he could. And he was also going to make sure they spent time apart every now and then, instead of hanging off each other like a pair of conjoined twins.

The longer he thought about it, the more regrets Sam had about the way he’d been doing things before. Sure, he told Gabriel he loved him basically all the time, but how often did he _show_ it? How often did he put effort into something, make gestures that told Gabe how much he cared, without him just saying it? He was going to change that, too.

Sam didn’t want Gabe to ever feel underappreciated, but he also didn’t want him to feel suffocated again. There had to be moderation between the two, something he was going to have to work to find. They had probably moved in together too soon, and sped things along too fast, and that accounted for a lot of it. But he knew that they would still be able to figure all this out, even if it took a little while. Both of them were pretty damned committed here, and they didn‘t exactly quit easily. What they had together was something worth working for.

There were no illusions that everything was going to magically be perfect and all of their problems would be solved after a single month, but they would be better. It was a start. Sam knew that they’d both grown a lot in the last few weeks, and he had no doubts about their ability to overcome anything that came between them.

Being with Gabe was so different from every other relationship he’d ever been in, and even now, when things were at their worst, he still had a feeling that this was forever. That they might have issues occasionally (what couple didn’t?), but things were always going to work out in the end, because they were meant for each other. Fate really was the only word for it. Nothing else could capture the true nature of their relationship, of the sheer determination they had to be together. 

Sam realized with shock that he never wanted this again, to be away from Gabriel for this long. That he wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, no matter what happened. Wherever that took them, he didn’t think he was ever going to really move on from this. The thought was so… _permanent._ And yet, hadn’t it been true for a long time now? From moving in together, from Sam’s birthday, and maybe even all the way back to that second date. Back to when he told Gabe all about his life and his childhood, and he’d been understanding and open to all of it. He really was one of a kind, and Sam had never expected to meet someone like that.

Sam wanted to spend forever with Gabe. He never wanted to date anyone else, or be single, or any of that. The thought of “forever” was a little scary, but it made so much sense. He had never felt like this, even after being with Luce for _years_. Nobody had ever been like this to him, and he didn’t think he would ever let that go. Not if he could help it.

And with those thoughts, Sam made it through their final days apart, more and more sure of this, of _them_ all the time. Forever was a long time, but with Gabriel, Sam realized, it could never be long _enough._


	18. Chapter 18

Gabriel had debated a thousand times over when enough time had passed to go back home. He wanted to wait at least until after he was comfortable being on his own again, and was able to drive and take care of himself. After those two things were taken care of, he started to think about the actual date of going back. In the end, he decided that since the one year anniversary of their first date was coming up, he would hold out until then, and surprise Sam on the day of. He’d wanted to go back a million times, but knowing that this was their best chance to make everything work in the end, he kept going, counting down the days until he could go back.

It felt like years had passed since he’d last seen Sam, even though in reality it hadn’t even been an entire month. He wasn’t sure if it was really like time was moving slower now, or if he was just so used to how quickly it passed when they were together. Either way, he was more than ready to go back home by the time their anniversary finally came around.

Since it happened to land on a Sunday, he decided that the odds were in his favor of finding Sam at home come eleven am. It wasn’t like he’d be at church.

-

His hands were almost shaking as he drove to the apartment, excitement threatening to land him in another car accident. Wouldn’t that just be ironic as hell?

He swung the door aside, loudly exclaiming how nice it was to finally be home again. Lyla rushed to the door to greet him, wagging her tail so hard Gabriel was afraid that it might break.

Sam looked startled as he turned his head, eyes softening as soon as they met Gabe’s. A grin spread across his face until it was so wide it threatened to split his cheeks in half.

Sam got up quickly, running to the doorway to might Gabriel, hugging him tightly and lifting him off the floor for a second. Gabe just buried his head in Sam’s shoulder, breathing in deeply. God, he’d even missed the way that sam _smelled_.

“I missed you” Gabe whispered, before pulling back to kiss Sam, sweet and slow, taking it all in. Kissing Sam was even better than he’d remembered, and he felt like he could get caught up in the moment and stand there with their lips together for the rest of his life.

Sam returned the kiss with fervor, hands reaching up to cup Gabriel’s jaw, thumbs stroking across his cheeks. He finally pulled away with a gasp, eyes wide, and a little watery.

“Oh god, I missed you so much, Gabe. Happy anniversary.” Sam laughed. That was about all either of them had time to say before they were kissing again, like the only air they’d ever need was the other’s breath.  
-

It didn’t take long for sweet “I missed you” kisses to turn into “it’s our anniversary, we just got back together, and I haven’t had sex with you in a month” kisses, and soon enough there was a trail of clothes leading to their bedroom. They stumbled down the hall, practically attached at the lips, like they were incapable of letting each other go so soon.

When they finally separated, Gabe managed to breath out “how do you want to do this?” Hopefully, Sam still had enough blood going to his brain to understand the question.

There was a pause, and Sam stared at him for a second, before taking a deep breath. “I want you inside me.”

It was pretty rare for Sam to bottom. Gabriel didn’t care either way, but Sam usually prefered to have the upperhand in bed. On occasion, though, he let Gabriel take control for a while.

Gabe nodded, grabbing the lube from the bedside drawer, thankful that it was still in the same place. He wasn’t sure if Sam would’ve moved it while they were apart or not, but it was exactly where it had been when he’d left.

-

As soon as they were both completely naked, Gabriel put a hand against Sam’s chest, pushing him onto his back. He nudged Sam’s legs apart, moving up to sit between them, leaning back down to meet Sam’s lips again. He pressed their bodies together, kissing and biting at Sam', as he slid in his first finger. He did it slowly, taking precaution not to rush the preparation, no matter how hard either of them were. No such thing as too much prep.

Sam felt Gabe thrust his finger in and out a few times, before he felt ready to take a second. He just mouthed _more_ against Gabe’s lips, before he felt another finger sliding into him, making a few thrusts before it was followed by small scissoring motions. He could feel himself stretching around Gabriel’s fingers, but it wasn’t painful, given how gentle he always was. Sam relaxed, marveling in how thorough Gabriel prepped him, and how much self control it must have taken. Clearly, Gabriel had more patience in this area than Sam did.

It wasn’t until Gabe added his third finger that he reached Sam’s prostate, rubbing against it every now and then just to tease. He couldn’t resist, not when Sam made such soft, needy little noises every time he brushed the nerves. Sam’s eyes fluttered closed every now and again, cheeks darkening as his breathing began to pick up. He reached a hand out and curled it into Gabriel’s hair, tugging lightly every now and again.

Once he had four fingers moving comfortably, Gabriel looked at Sam for a quick confirmation, before pulling them out and opening a condom, rolling it on carefully. He applied more lube to himself before lining up in place of his fingers, grabbing Sam’s hips tightly. He’d been starting to wonder how much longer he could keep himself waiting, but it was all worth it once he started sliding in. Sam was even smoother than he’d remembered, and almost impossibly warm. Gabriel’s self control was really wearing thin, but he could at least hold it together until Sam was comfortable.

Sam let out a low moan as Gabe slid in. He bottomed out after what felt like forever, staying still for a moment while Sam adjusted to the feeling. Finally, he pulled back, thrusting slowly at first, but eventually picking up the pace. 

Sam could feel every inch of it, sliding deep into him before pulling out again, and it was still a strange sensation, though not an uncomfortable one. It just wasn’t something he was generally used to, and he’d only topped in most of his previous relationships. He was usually more dominant in bed, and he typically wasn’t comfortable in positions like this. It was only with Gabriel that he really started to appreciate bottoming. It felt vulnerable, but he trusted Gabriel enough not to care.

Sam was still tight, even after all the preparation, and Gabriel had to bite down on his lip, concentrating on just _not coming_ as soon as he finally thrust in. Somehow he managed, and it wasn’t too long before he was moving earnestly, leaving Sam practically writhing beneath him, gasping when Gabe changed the angle. 

“Oh, god, right there, right there.” Sam was being unusually vocal, almost like he wasn’t in control of his own mouth. Every time Gabriel rubbed right against Sam’s prostate, it was like there were fireworks going off in his head. 

Of course, Gabriel made sure to keep the angle, pounding in against that exact spot over and over. After another minute, he wrapped his hand around Sam’s dick, twisting it at the top just how he knew Sam liked it. Gabe should know, he’d had a _lot_ of practice in that area over the last year.

Another minute of those together, and Sam was gone, come spilling down onto Gabriel’s fist, as he groaned. Sam coming was all it took before Gabe was done. He wasn’t quite as loud as Sam had been, but he came awfully close. Gabriel’s was less of a groan than it was a whine, although he would never admit that. Whining didn’t seem as sexy as groaning.

“Worth the wait?” Gabe finally asked, once he’d regained his thoughts. Sam broke into a dazed smile, looking sated and content.

“Absolutely.”

“Glad to hear it.” Gabe paused for a second. “You know, later, we’re gonna have to talk about stuff, right? I mean, stuff as in last month, and everything.”

Even though he knew it was true, Sam still wasn’t in any mood to get into all that. At least, not right now. Gabriel was right, they had to do it at some point, but it could at least wait for a little while. Gabe had just gotten here, and Sam didn’t have the energy for that conversation yet, anyways. He could at least put it off for a little while.

“Nap first, talk later.”

Gabe laughed, wiping off his hand with a tissue before curling up next to Sam. It was only noon, and he wasn’t even remotely tired, but he could make a sacrifice for his boyfriend. Especially on their anniversary.

“Whatever you want, babe.”

Sam hummed happily, drawing Gabe in for one more quick kiss before he closed his eyes and started to nod off. He was grateful to not be alone in the bed anymore.

-

When the two of them finally got up, it was almost three. Sam had to admit, even if it was only for a few hours, that had been the best he’d slept in weeks. 

Now, having skipped lunch, they were both hungry, so Sam offered to make some sandwiches, hoping his lunch meat hadn’t expired yet. Gabriel, ever the multitasker, suggested that they could talk while they ate. There was a lot of information to cover, so it was probably about time to get started.

Once they were dressed and at the table, it really hit Sam. The month was over. Gabriel was back for good now, and he didn’t have to wait anymore. Sam didn’t say it out loud, but somehow Gabriel must have at least somewhat understood, by the way he just smiled at him and nodded, like he was letting Sam know that he really wasn’t going anywhere.

“So, Sam, tell me about your month. What’d you do, who’d you see, and all that? What’s new in your life?”

It took a minute for Sam to remember the past month. Since Gabriel’s return, he’d been doing his best to forget that it had ever happened. Still, he knew that he owed gabe at least some sort of summary, so he searched his mind for anything that seemed important.

“I, uh, started training for the marathon with Adam. Caught up with Charlie and some other friends. Not a lot else, but hey, more than I’d been doing before, right?” 

He looked nervous almost, and it took a second for Gabriel to figure out why. 

“Hey, I’m not judging you on whether or not I think you ‘did’ enough stuff. It wasn’t like I left you with some sort of assignment to go socialize. I just wanted to know what you’ve been up to lately.”

Why would Sam think that he had to prove something here? The whole point was just to get to a place where they didn’t _have_ to be together all the time. Yeah, it was good that Sam was seeing his other friends again, but Gabe wasn’t going to be upset with him if he hadn’t. Hell, Gabe wasn’t exactly an extrovert himself, and he understood how important alone time could be. 

It had seemed like leaving was going to be damned near impossible at first, and after the first day, Gabriel was an inch away from going back. If it hadn’t been for Cas, he probably would have. But thankfully in the end, everything had worked out, and they’d both managed to survive without each other. The success was honestly a little surprising.

“What about you? What’s new in your life?” Sam asked, getting up to clear their plates. 

“Well, let’s see...I worked some more on driving so I could get my license again, and bought a car myself. I talked to my parents a couple of times, and I think that’s pretty much it.”

Sam looked impressed.

“What kind of car did you get?”

“Eh, nothing special. Used toyota. But it gets good mileage, so that’s all I care about. Oh, and it’s got pretty high ceilings and enough legroom for you, too.”

Sam smiled, a little taken back that Gabe had actually considered that. 

“And you said you called your parents, too? How are they?” Sam figured that Gabriel wouldn’t have mentioned talking to his folks if they hadn’t said anything relevant.

Gabriel shrugged a little.

“Mom’s been telling me and Cas that she wanted to see us for a year now, and I think her patience is wearing thin. Maybe the four of us could hit the road and drive up to see them this summer?”

Sam raised an eyebrow. Not at the prospect of the trip, because he knew that meeting Gabriel’s parents was long overdue, but there was a word there that had caught him off guard.

“The _four_ of us?” He wasn’t completely sure he’d heard correctly the first time, because he was trying to figure out who the final person was.

“Uh, you, me, Cas, and Dean, probably.”

“Right, they probably want to meet Cas’ boyfriend, too. I think that would be fun. You’ve already met my dad, so I suppose it’s about time that I meet your folks, huh?”

“My mom definitely thinks so. Come to think of it, she might not even know Cas and your brother are together yet. I’m pretty sure my dad doesn’t, but Cassy might’ve told mom about the two of them.”

Sam blinked, confused again. “Why wouldn’t he have told them? It seems like he and Dean are getting pretty serious.”

Gabriel sighed, wishing his next sentence weren’t true. “My parents are a lot more… _conventional_ than your dad, and they’re not exactly sold on the whole “men dating men” deal. My mom’s a lot more open to it than my dad, because even though she doesn’t understand it, she tries to be okay with it. But the old man? Not so much. I can’t blame Cas if he’s kept things a secret from them.”

“That sucks. I bet that made life at home interesting.” Sam had already known that most people weren’t as liberal as his own family, but he hadn’t known the full extent of that within the Novak family. He figured that if Gabriel was already open in his sexuality, there was no reason for Cas not to be.

“It wasn’t awful, but he certainly never approved of or made an effort to know any of my boyfriends. He was clearly happier when I was with girls. I’m hoping you’ll be an exception to that, though.”

Sam laughed, because he was sure that that statement wasn’t supposed to pressure him, but it totally did. He definitely wanted Gabriel’s parents to like him, but if they really were homophobic, then that might not be particularly easy. Sam wasn’t exactly flamboyant, but he certainly had his moments. He’d given up a long time ago on acting straight, and he doubted that he would be a favorite with Gabe’s father.

“I’m not even sure they know that Cas is into guys. He hasn’t exactly dated much, and he didn’t at all as a teen. Might come as a bit of a surprise when they meet your brother.”

Gabe wasn’t saying that as anything more than an observation, a musing. The more he thought about it, though, the more he realized that there really was a good chance that Cas had never said two words to their parents about his sexuality. After their initial reaction to Gabe’s own, he couldn’t blame the kid for keeping quiet.

“Anyways,” Gabe began, forcing himself onto other topics. “I think we should set up some ground rules this time, as a way to sort of...start over. Make sure things go better this time.”

Sam, caught off guard by the sudden change of subjects, took a second to understand.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Do you mind starting?”

Gabe smiled, mostly as a way to comfort Sam.

“I don’t think we need to go backwards on anything, as far as sex and everything goes. I mean, obviously, we’re already just getting right back into that. But I think you need to stop doing things for me, physically. Unless it involves getting stuff off of the top shelves, because let’s face it, I was short before the accident, and that’s not gonna change.”

For the first time since Gabe’s return, Sam gave a comfortable laugh. Okay, no more physical assistance. Understood.

“And, I also want you to stop running your plans by me like a question. It’s nice knowing where you are, just in case something happens, but I’m not your parent. You’re a grown man, you don’t have to ask me before grabbing a beer with someone. I feel like you’re asking for permission to miss curfew, and I don’t want you to think that you need to.”

Sam nodded again, not really denying that he’d been seeking Gabe’s authorization before doing things. It was mostly just out of habit- through the majority of his past relationships, previous boyfriends _had_ given him the third degree before he was able to make any plans not involving them. 

“I don’t think any of this is going to happen overnight,” Gabriel said, to reassure him that if they messed up, it wasn’t the end of the world “but we need to try a little harder. If we don’t want everything is going to go right back to how it was. So, do you have any conditions of your own?”

Sam had to think about it for a minute, because for some reason he hadn’t really considered it, even during the entire month that they’d been apart.

“Okay, then I think it’s only fair that, if I’m doing things with my friends, and socializing with other people, that you should, too. I mean, aside from Cas, who do you really hang out with, anyway?”

_Well,_ Gabriel paused for a minute _that posed an interesting question._ Because it was easy to observe that Sam was ignoring his friends. But did Gabe even _have_ friends to ignore? And was that an issue all on its own?

“Good point. I suppose I’m not really sure where to start there, though. Where does a thirty year old gay guy, who’s already in a relationship, go to make friends?”

Neither of them had an immediate answer for that one, but Gabe was sure that if he really wanted to, he could find a couple of drinking buddies. Hell, Cas had to have some friends that he could introduce. Although they were probably all flora and fauna enthusiasts he’d met at nature centers over the years. Cas was such a nerd.

“Okay, friends. What else?” He was hoping that Sam had at least a few requests from him, so he didn’t have to feel like he was setting all the boundaries. As long as he didn’t write of sex or living together, Gabriel was willing to do whatever Sam asked him to.

“Do you think, if we’re trying to be equal here, you could make dinner a little more often?” Sam said it half as a joke, but it was actually true that he’d done almost all of the cooking. He honestly didn’t mind, but it did seem a little odd when he thought about it.

“I can try. I can’t promise you much, since it clearly isn’t a skill that runs in my family, but I’ll do my best.” Hopefully, Gabe would at least have moderately more success in the kitchen than his brother did. Sam was right about doing most of the cooking, but Gabriel assumed that was because he knew the extent of the Novak family’s culinary ability.

After that, both of them seemed satisfied with things. The requests were simple enough, it wasn’t going to be a problem.

“And Sam? If you think of anything else, you’ll make sure to let me know, right?”

“Yeah. You too.”

And so ended that topic of conversation. Neither of them had any objections to moving on to a more comfortable topic after that discussion.

“So what do you want to do tonight?” Sam asked casually, not sure if they should do anything to celebrate, or if it would be better to just spend a romantic night in together.

“What do you mean?”

Sam couldn’t help rolling his eyes. 

“It’s still our anniversary. So, what do you want to do? Dinner, movie, drinks? We kind of got right on ahead with the _other_ activities, but what do you think we should do? We’ve still got all night to kill.”

Gabriel was torn. On the one hand, they deserved to go out and celebrate and have a nice evening, but on the other, he still had a lot of things to unpack and put away.

“Well, this isn’t the most interesting thought ever, but I do need to move my stuff back in. What about just ordering a pizza, bringing up a few boxes of junk, and saving the romantic stuff for next weekend.” He hoped Sam wouldn’t think he was just trying to get out of work by combining the days.

And now it was Sam’s turn to be dense and confused, apparently.

“Valentine’s day?” Gabe asked, sounding exhausted that he’d had to spell it out. Honestly, had Sam never seen a calendar?

“Right. Okay, that’s good with me, I guess. So, you said that you have your other stuff in your car?”

“Yeah. You can come see my car, and hopefully carry some boxes up. I doubt I can do it all myself. I think my clothes should probably come in first. The rest of it can wait until later.”

With a grin, Sam stood up and grabbed his jacket off the hook, lipping his arms into the sleeves.

“After you” Sam said, holding the door.

-

Three hours later, they were knee deep in boxes, and their apartment was once again full. Lyla was more than happy to have Gabriel back home, and as a result, she kept getting in the way while they tried to move boxes around. It would have been annoying if she wasn’t so damned cute and excited. Gabe had missed that little furball almost as much as he’d missed Sam. He’d grown quite fond of her over the months since getting together with Sam.

After the final box was emptied, and all of the important things were in place, they slumped onto the couch, leaning against each other. Despite their earlier nap, both were a little tired, and there wasn’t a lot left to do by now.

“Wanna order that pizza yet?” Sam asked, dusting off the last bin of stuff from storage. Most of it was pictures, and he realized that Gabe must have had a few of them tucked away, because he didn’t recognize them all.

“What do you want on it?” Gabriel asked, getting up to grab the phone.

One of the pictures in the box was of the whole Novak family, at Cas’ graduation, which must have only been a couple of months before they moved to Minnesota. It was easy to see the resemblance between Cas and their parents, but Gabe had very few shared traits. One of the most obvious was his mother’s soft eyes, and from the picture, Sam couldn’t even tell if they were the same color. Still, she was beautiful, and it was evident that Gabriel had been blessed with nice genetics.

“Hello? Earth to Sam? What toppings do you want on the pizza?” Gabriel sounded agitated, and Sam wondered how many times he’d already asked that.

“Oh! Uh, whatever you want is fine. As long as there are no anchovies, I’ll eat whatever.”

Gabe went in the kitchen to make the call, leaving Sam sitting there, still staring at the photograph in his hand. Cas was beaming, holding a diploma with one hand, the other slung around Gabe’s shoulder. Their mother was next to Gabe, with their father on the opposite side. Even though their physical features weren’t similar at all, Sam found a familiar mix of confidence and ingenuity on Mr. Novak’s face, in an expression he’d grown rather used to. It was almost unnerving to see it on an unknown face.

He carefully put the picture down on the coffee table, right next to one of Sam’s own family, from Dean’s tenth birthday party. It was one of the only pictures with his mom that had survived the fire, and most of his others had been given to him by relatives and family friends after her death. At least, in these two frames of time, they both appeared to have come from happy, functional, and loving families. Even if a lot had happened since then, it was important to remember the good and not the bad, right? 

Gabriel came back a minute later, glancing at the table without saying anything.

“Food’ll be here in twenty minutes.”

Sam nodded, still staring at the photographs. They looked good next to each other. Maybe the one of them under the Christmas tree could go in the middle.

-

They finished their unpacking after the pizza got there, setting out the last little tchotchkes and things before calling it a night. Gabriel was officially moved in again. And this time, hopefully, it would be forever.

-

Gabriel had kept his promise about saving the romance until Valentine’s day, and Sam woke up that Sunday to breakfast in bed, complete with sliced strawberries to look like hearts. Gabriel had actually outdone himself. It was delicious.

Sam shook his head, wondering how it was that he still put up with all of Gabe’s cheesiness. But at least the guy was a better cook than he let on. They gorged themselves on chocolate chip pancakes until Sam was sure that he was going to get diabetes. Luckily, Gabriel was willing to finish the rest. 

-

They spent the morning doing what every other couple in America was probably doing, relishing in the fact that they didn’t have any obligations until that evening. 

At seven, they eventually had to put on clothes so that they could meet up with their brothers for a nice dinner in the city. Sam finally got his double date, and even though most of them would never admit it, everyone had a pretty good time, including Dean.

Most of the dinner was spent planning their trip to Maine, which was apparently going to be taking place in just a few weeks. Even though it was still hellishly cold outside, Gabe decided that it would just be easier to get it out of the way with. They could go on a more enjoyable vacation somewhere once it was warmer. Unfortunately, Wells was less than the ideal spot for a getaway, and his parents weren’t known for being the life of the party.

With any luck, there would be strength in numbers, and having the four of them there would help make the trip more bearable. Maybe if Zachariah had more people to focus his attention on, it would be less concentrated. The only way to find out for sure was to wait until the trip, and it would certainly be interesting to see how things played out. Hopefully, everyone would at least be coming home intact.

Cas didn’t sound too thrilled at the idea of visiting either, and Sam could sympathize. He couldn’t even imagine having to come out to your parents when you were already thirty years old. He just hoped that if they weren’t okay with it, Cas wouldn’t take it too hard. If Mr. and Mrs. Novak weren’t able to accept their kids for whatever sexualities they were, that was a failure on their part. It was their loss, because they were sacrificing having two amazing people in their lives. 

Sam was eternally grateful that his own father had seen Cas and Gabriel for the wonderful people they were. He was sure that if Mary were still around, she would’ve taken to them like they were her own children. In fact, if heaven was a real place, she was probably looking down on them all right now, marveling in how well her sons had done for themselves. A lot had happened since they’d lost their mom, and a lot of it hadn’t been pretty, but it seemed like everything had turned out okay in the end.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for some homophobia (just from Zachariah)

After yet another phone call with the lovely Hannah and Zachariah Novak, they’d decided on visiting during the third week of March. As the days grew closer, Gabe and Sam made packing lists together, filled their suitcases absolutely to the bursting point, and went over at least a hundred do’s and don’ts of meeting Gabe’s parents.

They’d shopped for plane tickets at first, but Dean had insisted that he and Cas drive, or he wasn’t going to go at all (which he denied was the fault of a deep rooted fear of flying.) Even though it meant that Sam would have to take off more work, Gabe had worked to convince him about how fun a road trip would be, until he finally relented and agreed to the idea. At the very least, they would get to spend a lot of time together, just the two of them. Gabriel was glad that he was able to drive again, so that they would be able to take shifts throughout the drive.

-

On Wednesday morning, Gabe loaded the last of his bags into the back of Sam’s car, sliding in shotgun and turning on some music. They were taking separate cars, but would meet up with Dean and Cas during meals and stops, and stay at the same hotels. Assuming that they didn’t waste too much time along the way, Gabe figured that they could get there in about two and a half days.

As soon as Sam climbed in and put their coffee thermoses in the console, the adventure had officially begun. The other benefit of driving was that they could hopefully have _some_ fun on this trip, because Gabriel knew that there were fairly low prospects of enjoying themselves once they’d arrived at the Novak’s.

“Ready?” Sam asked, pulling out onto the main road. The snow was all but gone, and it was almost sixty degrees out, which made for perfect driving weather.

“Yeah. Are you?”

“As I’ll ever be” Sam replied with a smile. 

Gabriel was still a little nervous about Sam meeting his family, but it was bound to happen eventually. No point in a letting that anxiety ruin the trip.

-

They drove over to Dean’s place first, partly so that they could all leave at the same time, and partly so Sam could make sure Dean hadn’t forgotten anything obvious. Of course, Dean denied the suggestion, making sure that everyone knew that it was _Sam_ who had brought Lyla on their last trip, but forgotten her food. They apparently had to stop at a pet store in Madison to buy enough for the week. Hopefully, Sam had done a better job checking his list for this trip.

-

Once they were on their way, for real, it seemed like everything was going to be okay. Because what were his parents possibly going to do if they _didn’t_ like Sam and Dean? There were next to no repercussions, even if they didn’t get on well. The Novak family wasn’t exactly close, and if Gabe’s parents weren’t capable of seeing the Winchesters for the wonderful people they were, then he didn’t care about their opinions anyways. He was constantly grateful for the distance between his parents and himself.

-

The first day, Sam did almost all of the driving until dinner, where they met their brothers at a little family place in Indiana for dinner. The coffee was strong, and that was really all that mattered in the end. 

When they got to the hotel, everyone pretty much went straight to bed. It had definitely been a long day, and they had another one tomorrow.

Once they got to New York, however, Gabe insisted that they spend at least _one_ day sightseeing in the city, since Sam and Dean hadn’t really been. And so, in just a few short hours, Gabe and Cas made sure they saw _everything._ They went from central park, to Times Square, to the Statue of Liberty, and by the time they were finally at the hotel, Sam looked like he was about to collapse, complaining that he wasn’t cut out for that much social activity all at once.

-

The final day of driving was finished far too quickly for Gabriel’s liking, and by lunch on Saturday, they were all standing on the Novak residence porch awkwardly. He and Sam were holding hands, but Dean and Cas were standing at a reasonable distance from each other, since they had yet to break the news. When they discussed everything on the phone, nobody had really asked why they were bringing Dean, so Cas had just decided not to mention their relationship until he could introduce him in person.

Gabriel actually thanked God that his mother had been the one to answer the door. She embraced each of her sons in turn and led everyone into the livingroom. She smiled at Sam and Dean, and made an effort to keep up small talk, which wasn’t too forced, at least. She might not have been completely comfortable with with her son’s sexuality, but she made an effort to accept him for who he was. Hopefully, she would be at least as open minded with Cas.

When his father walked in, however, Gabe could feel Sam tensing a little next to him, and he felt his own back straightening as well. Zachariah was certainly not a person you would go to if you were looking for acceptance or comfort.

“Hello Castiel, Gabriel. How are you?” He was stiff, and didn’t even attempt to give a welcoming greeting to Sam or Dean. It actually looked like he was trying to ignore their presence entirely.

“Alright.” They said in unison, Cas sounding even more uncomfortable than Gabe. He felt sorry for his brother, remembering the fight that had ensued when he himself came out in ninth grade. Hopefully, now that they were all adults, Cas would get a somewhat better reception.

“Dad, this is Sam, and his brother, Dean.” Gabe took the initiative on introductions, still keeping his fingers laced with Sam’s. Right now, that was the main thing that was keeping him grounded.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Novak.” Sam offered, squeezing Gabriel’s hand a little tighter, too. His voice sounded completely different, without his usual relaxed tone. 

Dean followed suit, greeting Zachariah as professionally as he could, and they each received a short “and you” in response. He made no offer to be called by his first name, perfectly content with being addressed like an authority figure to them. According to his father, first names were only for friends, and clearly that was something that the Winchesters were not. Unfortunately, they probably never would be, either.

And, as always, his father was hell bent on interviewing their guests, making even the most mundane questions seem difficult. He could make you believe that “what’s your favorite color?” had a wrong answer. After a few questions about Sam, like what he did and how long he and Gabe had been living with each other, Zachariah turned his attention to Dean.

“And you and Castiel seem to know each other rather well?” Though the question was indirect, Cas still knew the sentiment he was communicating. Luckily, being better prepared to handle his father, Cas took the liberty of answering for Dean.

“I, um, met Dean when we were helping Gabriel move in with Sam, and we hit it off.” Cas squirmed in his seat a little, but his voice was unwavering. He’d rehearsed how he was going to tell everyone, and so far, things were not going as planned. 

“Really?” Zack’s eyebrows were raised so high that they were almost in his hairline. “That’s interesting. You were never exactly the social type.” This type of mocking was nothing out of the ordinary for Cas and Gabriel, but the Winchesters were unaccustomed to such disparage. Dean, who hadn’t said a word since Zachariah’s entrance, finally spoke up at that comment.

 

“Well, then that just makes me twice as honored to be an exception.” He sounded almost protective of Cas, which Gabriel was glad to hear. Cas smiled, probably gaining at least a little bit of courage from Dean’s words.

“Well, we hit it off, and now Dean and I have been dating for about half a year.”

At the “D” word, silence fell over the room, like it was daring them all to be the first to break it.

Zachariah looked like he was about to choke, but Hannah stepped in to congratulate him before her husband could say anything.

“Good for you, Cas. I hope you two are happy together.” She looked apologetic for a minute, as though taking responsibility for her husband’s bad behavior.

Dean nodded, tentatively wrapping an arm around Cas. 

“Never been happier.” The sincerity in Dean’s voice made it almost unrecognizable. He really was mad about Cas, and the affection was returned in full. It was sickening and heartwarming all at once. Then again, he and Cas probably felt the same way about Sam and himself.

-

The air between them all was so tight and thin that it could snap at any moment. Thankfully, Hannah thought quickly and gave them all an out, so that there was at least a chance of getting Zack to calm down before they all went out that evening.

“I’m sure that you all need to go get freshened up before dinner, don’t you? Why don’t you head back to your hotel, and we’ll meet you at the restaurant at seven?”

Everyone there breathed a collective sigh of relief, and the tension eased as they stood to leave. Before they could go, Gabe’s mother whispered that she would talk to their father before dinner. Hopefully, she’d be able to get through to him, or at the very least convince him why it wouldn’t be worth it to lose his temper in public.

-

Once they were back in the car, Sam reached over and grabbed his hand again. If he’d seemed nervous before, he looked downright terrified now. Clearly, Sam wasn’t enjoying the visit any more than Gabe was. The sooner they were able to leave and get back home, the better it would be for everyone involved. There was a reason he and Cas so seldom visited their parents.

“It could’ve gone worse, I suppose. Are you alright?” Sam didn’t sound like he believed himself, but he was probably only saying that for Gabriel’s benefit anyway.

“Yeah. Who really cares what my dad thinks, in the end?” He smiled, letting his own words convince himself. Because really, what could Zachariah do to him? He was thirty two years old, dammit. His father had no control over him anymore.

-

Gabriel hadn’t truly realized how exhausted he actually was until they were checked into their room, and he just about dropped onto the bed. Being around his parents was a very draining experience.

“Hey, it’s only two right now. We have time to sleep for a few hours, if you want.” Sam suggested, sitting on the edge of the bed to take off his shoes.

“Some sleep would be nice. My family can get kind of exhausting.” Sam hummed in agreement, setting his prosthetic down next to the bed. Gabriel was glad that at least his mom was making an effort, because he had no idea how they would get through this visit without her.

“Yeah, but I suppose you’re right. It doesn’t matter too much what your dad thinks, does it? I was sort of hoping that we would get along, even if I didn’t really expect it.” Sam slid off the sock and curled up behind him, slinging an arm over Gabe’s waist and leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. “But it’ll be okay. I hope Cas is doing alright.”

“I was worried about that too, but I think he’ll be just fine. I’m pretty sure my mom likes Dean, so at least there’s that. And hey, we only have to stay for a little while. Then, we can forget that my parents even exist, aside from a couple of phone calls a year.” That was basically how Gabriel had acted towards his parents since he moved to Minnesota, and it was a pretty effective way of handling things.

-

By the time they showered and got dressed for dinner, Gabe felt like he’d regained a little bit more patience for his father. And if things didn’t go well, then they could just lie and say Lyla was sick or something and leave early. He wasn’t going to make Sam or himself stay here if there was no point. Of course, he would have to find a way to include Cas and Dean if he excused them early. He couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the two of them to deal with his father alone. With the four of them, he had so many people to distribute anger to that none of them got the full heat of it. 

He spent the entire ride there trying to reassure Sam and himself that they could make it through the meal without any outbursts, and they could leave for the hotel as soon as it was over.

-

The restaurant was beautiful, though it looked exceedingly expensive. Maybe if they all had a little champagne, it would relieve enough of their stress for everyone to get along for an hour.

This time they’d just taken one car with their brothers, and Cas volunteered to be the designated driver if any drinking were to happen. Having a little brother that refused alcohol  
did have some occasional perks, although it seemed like Cas might be the one who needed a drink the most right now.

When they checked in at the host stand, they were informed that both of his parents were already there, as a waitress with fiery red hair led them to their table. Gabriel bit the bullet and sat down across from his father at the far end of the table. That way, Dean and Cas got to be the furthest away, which was best for everyone.

While his father managed to remain civil throughout the evening, there was no mistaking that he was less than thrilled by the thought of not one, but _both_ of his sons having boyfriends. Actually, he couldn’t even bring himself to say the word boyfriends, though that had been more amusing than offensive. He’d eventually just settled on “homosexual partners,” which was a term that might have to go into the Weird Things Straight People Say hall of fame.

-

The remainder of their visit wound up playing out almost exactly like dinner had, with Hannah going further and further out of her way to be welcoming the longer they were there, as a means to counteract Zack’s behavior. 

Nothing had really surprised Gabriel throughout the trip. Well, that was true until their last morning, just before hitting the road home. He left Sam to finish packing and went to knock on Cas and Dean’s door, to see if they were ready to leave yet.

When Cas answered, Gabriel could hear the shower running, but he was only vaguely aware of it, too busy being stunned by the dazed, blissful look on his brother’s face. Cas’ cheeks were flushed, and he had dark circles underneath his eyes, but there was an unmistakable smile playing at the corners of his mouth. His hair was even messier than usual, which Gabriel never would’ve thought possible. This was an entirely new side of Cas.

“Oh my god. Oh. My. God.” Gabriel could feel a grin splitting his face in half, eyes darting from his brother to the bathroom door and back. “You slept with him! Little Cassy isn’t a virgin anymore!” He was almost tempted to sing it, running down the hallways. Never, in a million years, had he expected _Cas_ of all people to “do the devil’s dance.”

While Cas wore a look of complete embarrassment, Gabe pulled him into a hug. He wasn’t sure if proud was the right word, but he was definitely surprised.

“So that’s news. How was it? I mean, no details ‘cause that’d be weird, but.. I never thought I’d live to see the day.”

Cas shrugged, smiling a little bit, underneath forty shades of blush. He scratched the back of his head, which only worsened the hair situation. 

“I’m definitely glad it was with Dean.” Cas looked like he would rather be talking about anything else in the world, but he continued anyways. “It was more intimate than I expected, which was nice. I guess I’ll do it again.” 

Gabe shook his head, trying not to laugh. “So you’re not quite as ace as you thought, then?”

Cas looked like he was trying to be irritated, but not quite succeeding. “Well, considering we’ve been together for over six months, and I’m only just now comfortable even trying anything, I’m certainly still on the demi spectrum. But I guess, if it’s with someone I care about, then no, I’m not entirely repulsed by the matter.”

It was still strange for Gabriel to hear the word “repulsed” in relation to the word “sex,” but he wasn’t really judging anyone for their sexuality. He just didn’t entirely _understand_ it. In his world, sex was the greatest thing this world ever gave to people, and Sam had only helped him to solidify that belief.

“Okay, uh, anyway, I just came here to tell you that when you and Dean are ready to go, let us know.”

Cas nodded, and Gabriel made his way back to his room, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Cas wasn’t a virgin anymore.

-

“Oh my god, Sam, you’re never going to guess what happened!”

Sam looked at him with a smile, tilting his head a little.

“Um… you met Oprah in the hallway?”

“Nope!”

“You...saw a nun riding rollerskates?”

While he was actually curious to hear more of Sam’s guesses, Gabriel was too excited to wait around all morning to tell him. 

“Dean and Cas had sex!”

Sam raised an eyebrow, looking a little offended.

“And? Why would I want to know that?”

Sam didn’t know. Of course, who would have told him, but still it seemed like he should have been in the loop by now.

“Sam, Cas is asexual. This is, like, his first time. Ever.”

As realization dawned on him, Sam looked mildly less disgusted to have heard something about his brother’s sex life. He still would’ve prefered that he hadn’t, but at least Gabe had a valid reason in telling him.

“So what does that mean, then? For Cas, I mean.”

“I guess it means that he’s pretty into your brother. Like, _seriously_ into him.”

Sam looked like he was thinking about it for a minute.

“Damn. Dean must be, too, to have been celibate for six months. I’m actually impressed.”

-

They decided not to mention anything at breakfast, but they couldn’t help exchanging knowing glances every time Dean and Cas stared at each other like newlyweds. 

Of course, it was easy to act like nothing was different until Dean informed them that he and Cas were moving in together, as well. It was about damn time that they did, but today was a very opportune time to bring it up. Somehow, Sam found enough self control to hold himself together, offering his congratulations and asking about where and when they were planning to do it.

-

Once they were in the car, and Dean and Cas were completely out of earshot, Gabriel turned to Sam.

“I was worried there for a while, actually.”

“About what?” Sam asked, without sounding all that concerned.

“Well, I’d been wondering for a while about what would happen if they moved in together. Until today, in my head, I was picturing two separate beds, like on I Love Lucy, y’know? I’m glad that’s not going to happen.”

Sam snorted, trying not to laugh at the joke, but failing.

-

The drive home seemed shorter, and lighter, in a way. There was no more pressure, they’d survived, even the visit hadn’t been perfect. The more he thought about it, though, the less Gabriel cared. Since meeting Sam, he’d also met Bobby, Ellen, and John, so in a way he already had supportive parents, even if his own father wasn’t among them. Really, looking at things right now, he wouldn’t change a thing. In a way, life was kind of perfect.

x x x

 

After dropping Lyla off at Charlie’s, Sam realized that this was really, truly happening. Even if he didn’t suspect that they would, he desperately wanted Gabriel’s parents to like him. He’d had a feeling from the beginning that this time was for the long haul, so even if he wasn’t ready for the altar right now, Sam didn’t want to get off on the wrong foot with someone who might be his father in law some day.

Judging from what he’d seen of Dean and Cas together, Sam could definitely see a future for the two of them, too. The only difference was, Dean genuinely didn’t care what the Novaks thought of him, because it honestly didn’t matter to him. If god himself came down just to say that he didn’t like Dean Winchester, he’d probably just shrug it off and continue on living his life.. Sam, on the other hand, was losing his mind, because he had no idea how to impress Gabe’s dad, and that was his main goal for the weekend.

“Babe, I’m gonna go finish loading the car. Meet me when you’re ready.” Gabriel’s voice brought him back into reality, and Sam remembered that he was supposed to be making coffee for the road. Well, maybe Dean was right. If Gabriel liked him, then who really gave a damn what his parents thought about the two of them being together? The two conflicting arguments played back and forth, and he was torn between not caring at all, and caring far too much. 

-

Once he was behind the wheel, it was a little bit easier not to think about things. They had at least three or four days on the road before they got there, so he might as well enjoy the drive, in case the rest of the trip wasn’t quite as pleasant. 

After they’d passed the state border, their car and Dean and Cas’ were the only ones on the road for miles. Granted, it was the middle of the day on a Wednesday, so that wasn’t completely unexpected, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate it. There was something incredibly freeing about it all, and the rest of the tension from earlier that day seemed to evaporate, or at least lessen considerably. Sure, it would probably come back all too soon, but for now, he could just enjoy this. It was simple, and sometimes Sam forgot just how nice “simple” could be.

The motel they stayed in the first night wasn’t the greatest, but it was sort of nostalgic, too. It was just like the little hole in the wall establishments that he’d stayed in for weeks when he was a kid. From the time his mother died until they bought their new house over two months later, they’d hopped from Kansas all the way up to Minnesota, staying in little joints like this one along the way. Not exactly his favorite months from childhood, but they were memorable nonetheless.

-

Once they were almost through Pennsylvania, Gabe announced that they would be taking a brief detour in NYC the next day. Sam tried not to get too excited, but visiting the Met was one of the first things on his bucket list, and he could use a break from all the driving. 

-

They only had time to see a little bit of what the city had to offer, but Sam was definitely going to have to come back. It was probably beautiful in the fall. Right now, though, they were back on the road for Maine again, and the nerves were working their way back. He was only a few hours away from meeting the people who raised Gabriel, and he barely knew anything about them.

The closer they got, the more worried he was that things were going to go poorly. From what Gabriel had told him, it was probably not going to be all that bad _or_ good. His mom would be nice, and his dad would not, and they’d be out of there as soon as they’d stayed an acceptable amount of time. Despite Dean’s nonchalance about the subject, Cas looked like he’d had better days, too. Sam felt even worse for him when he remembered that Cas still hadn’t told his parents that he and Dean were together. At least Gabriel had already broken the news to them months ago. And apparently, this was the first time Cas had dated a guy, so that would probably bring some rather unpredictable responses, too.

-

The Novak’s house was a little bit bigger than he’d expected, and it gave off an air of foreboding. Hopefully it was all in his head, because Sam had a tendency to blow things out of proportion that weren’t actually that bad. Maybe this would be one of those times. He kept his fingers crossed while Gabriel rung the bell, wondering which of his parents would be the one to answer the door. 

-

Mrs. Novak seemed friendly enough when she greeted them all, although Gabe had said that she would be. It was his father that Sam was really hung up over. Because it was Gabe’s father that was crazy homophobic, and it was his father that was probably going to form an opinion about Sam before he ever bothered to really get to know him.

Speak - or think - of the devil and he shall appear. Sam hadn’t been seated for ten minutes before the man of the hour arrived. He was dressed sharply, like he was busy doing official business, and not just going around his own home. It was definitely strange, to say the least.

The introduction wasn’t lost on Sam, either, and he had a feeling he’d already messed up somewhere along the way, though he had no idea how. It seemed like there had been no opportunity to do things correctly.

Cas’ coming out had been at least as uncomfortable as expected, but at least now it was over. Sam hadn’t really hid his sexuality since tenth grade, and he couldn’t even imagine what it would be like as a fully grown adult.

-

When they were excused to go back to their hotel, Sam wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not. At least he got a break from the nightmare that was meeting with Gabriel’s parents.

According to Gabe, however, things had gone no worse than he’d anticipated. Once they were in the car, he reminded Sam that this was exactly what he’d told him to expect, which was true. It wasn’t really a huge comfort, but it wasn’t like he was going into this completely unaware of what Zachariah was like.

-

Sam was grateful for the few hours they had to themselves back at the hotel, because he wasn’t all too eager to go back for more scrutiny quite yet. Once they had to leave again for dinner, he was feeling a little better, knowing that he only had to make it through a couple more days of this before they could go back home. He could make it a couple of days.

Of course, dinner went no smoother than he could have assumed, and it was obvious that while Hannah simply wanted her sons to be happy, Zachariah was not happy about the fact that neither of them were in heterosexual relationships. There was a mutual discomfort and dislike shared by everyone at the table, and after what may have been the most tension filled dinner of his life, Sam was starting to question if he really _could_ take a couple more days of this.

-

The days that followed were nothing to note, since they were almost exactly like the one before. It was nothing that Sam hadn’t experienced before, but it was still unpleasant to think about Gabe and Cas having to grow up in such an uncaring household. Not that Hannah wasn’t kind enough, and they _did_ still have both parents, but regardless, Sam would’ve taken his own father any day of the week.

-

They were finally free, and just packing up to get home when Gabriel burst through the door, wearing a grin that usually didn’t bode well for someone.

“You’re never going to guess what happened” was almost never followed by anything but gossip, but who didn’t listen to rumors at least once in a while? Sam stopped folding his shirt for a minute to hear about whatever Gabriel was so worked up over.

Of course, hearing that Cas and Dean had slept together hadn’t really been the kind of juicy information he’d been expecting. He really didn’t think there was any reason that he should have to hear about his brother’s sex life, from Gabriel no less. Still, he was a bit stunned to hear that Cas was asexual. Dean dating a guy was one thing, because he’d never been a poster child for monosexuality, but this was honestly shocking. His brother, Dean Winchester, had actually been so in love with someone that he not only went half a year without sex, but was willing to do so for even longer. It was pretty out of character for Dean to fall this hard for someone, and Sam was incredibly happy for both of them.

For some reason, Sam was actually pretty proud of his brother. It couldn’t have been easy for him, but he was clearly more than willing to sacrifice that for someone he cared about. That really said a lot about him.

-

Once they were passed the state border and back in Minnesota again, he could breathe easily, knowing that they were almost home, so that he could put almost the entire week behind him. He had to agree with what Gabriel had said, months and months ago, about liking it better here than in Maine. It really was good to be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How cute are Dean and Cas, right?


	20. Chapter 20

_November, one year later_

Sam shook his hands out one more time, looking for Gabriel in the crowd again. He was bouncing with nervous energy, just waiting for the race to start. It wasn’t about coming in first, there was nothing he was trying to win. To his left, there was a college aged girl who appeared to have no right arm past the elbow. On his right, a couple that looked to be about Sam’s age stood together, smiling at each other with watery eyes. The pair wore matching tee shirts with “Team Daniel” printed on the back, and the Cerebral Palsy Foundation logo on the front. 

Minneapolis finally started its own Fundraising Run for Disabled Children, and Sam was one of only about fifteen people running that actually _was_ disabled. Most of the others were doing it on behalf of family members, which was also cool. Gabriel had improved a lot since his accident, but unfortunately, he wasn’t really in shape to participate this year. Sam hoped that Gabriel would be able to run the following year, so that they could train together. They could go on morning runs together while it was still dark outside, then watch the sunrise from one of the parks. But for now, Sam was on his own when it came to running, and Gabriel was standing somewhere out with the crowd.

-

While Sam prepared for the race, Gabriel stood off on the sidelines, nervous for a completely different reason. He’d been planning things meticulously for weeks, but that didn’t make it any less scary. He’d even called John, which was a whole new level of awkward. _Were you even supposed to ask for the father’s blessing when you proposed to a guy?_ Either way, he had it.

The ring wasn’t too intricate, just a silver band. What was important was the engraving inside, something that seemed to apply to the two of them more than most couples.

“Through good times and bad.”

Because that really was the theme of their relationship, wasn’t it? Even from the very beginning, when Gabriel was still recovering from the accident, they made things work. They had never given up when an obstacle came their way, and instead of fighting, he and Sam almost always worked things out to face their problems as a team. 

He had the whole proposal planned out, and it was going to be perfect. It had taken a fair amount of money and a lot of favors were owed, but it looked like he was actually going to pull it off. Of course, that wasn’t for another eight hours, and there was still time for things to go wrong. In the meantime, however, he didn’t have much opportunity to worry about that, because right now, he was busy cheering Sam on. 

-

It wasn’t a warm autumn, and there was already ice covering some parts of the lake, but all the runners were still sweating in shorts and T-shirts. After the first couple of laps, Sam was still in the lead along with two or three others. They were almost halfway done, and he was still going strong.

It wasn’t actually a huge surprise when Sam came in first. Hell, his legs were longer than some people’s entire bodies. But the victory was still a nice little confidence boost, anyways. All the money went towards charities, and Sam’s clinic was even planning on making a company team the following year. Maybe, with a bit of convincing, and some serious employment of his “puppy eyes,” Sam would even be able to convince his brother to run the next year. Sure, Dean donated to the cause, but it would be a much greater effort on his part to actually run.

-

As soon as Sam was finished, Gabriel found him again, cutting through the mass of other people as he made his way over.

“Congrats, babe. You were great.” Gabe tried to pretend that he wasn’t shivering a little, hands tucked purposefully in his pockets. He could barely feel his fingers any more.

“Thanks. We’re still going out tonight, right?” Sam barely even sounded short of breath. Athletic bastard.

Well, whether he was completely ready for this or not, Gabe only had one shot at this. If he wanted things to turn out how he’d planned, then this was his one chance to propose to Sam. He was _not_ going to mess anything up.

“Of course we are. I think you should probably shower first, though.”

Gabriel wasn’t sure of many things in life, but he knew that he was never going to get used to how beautiful Sam’s laugh was. It was enough to warm him up inside, even if the air was still so cold that he could see his breath. That sound could draw a smile out of Gabriel faster than anything else on earth. 

-

Once they were showered and dressed, and Gabe had the ring securely tucked away in his jacket pocket, he was starting to feel more confident about things.

They would go out, have a nice dinner, and then he could go through with the rest of the plan. Hopefully, Dean and Cas would be there on time to film everything. He’d told them to get there by seven thirty, and Cas as a very punctual person. Gabe trusted him to get there when he said he would, and drag Dean along with him.

Gabe hadn’t picked any sort of special restaurant, just somewhere he’d heard was nice. Partly because it didn’t matter where they ate, and partly because he didn’t want to let anything on too soon. He wasn’t a particularly talented actor, but he didn’t want Sam to think anything was up until at least after the meal. The more surprised Sam was, the better this would turn out. 

And so, they ate, and Gabe fought every urge he got to feel his pocket and trace the outline of the box there. He felt like he was probably being incredibly obvious, but he had no idea how not to be. From what he could tell though, it didn’t make any difference, because Sam sounded as oblivious as ever. Throughout the meal he just kept talking about work and the run and whatever else came to mind, while Gabriel smiled and nodded, even though he wasn’t really capable of paying attention. It wasn’t until they got in the car that Sam started getting suspicious. 

“Uh, I think you missed our turn, didn’t you?” Sam sounded like he was trying his best not to be rude, even though he was probably stunned that Gabriel could’ve missed it, after living there for so long. Evidently, he still hadn’t caught on that anything was going to happen.

“Nope. We’re not going home quite yet.” 

Of course, even in the dark, the street lamps were bright enough that Sam was probably able to tell exactly where they were going. Hopefully, though, he wouldn’t be able to figure the rest out on his own.

“Gabe, the museum closes at five.” Sam’s eyes flicked pointedly to the clock, which displayed that it was nearly eight pm. 

_Perfect_ Gabriel thought, pulling into the lot. _Dean and Cas_ have _to be here by now._

Sam still looked wildly confused as Gabriel led him out of the car and towards the building.

“It’s fine Sam. Let’s just say I know a guy. Well, girl, actually, but it’s not important. She’s just there to keep the door unlocked and make sure we don’t steal anything.” He wasn’t actually joking about the last part, either. He almost hadn’t been able to get her to open the place privately, and the only way he was able to propose here was on the condition that a worker be present the entire time.

Sam, now appearing rather convinced that Gabe was crazy, just sighed and went with it, letting Gabriel lead him up to the main floor. He clearly hadn’t expected to see their brothers standing there, smiling.

A pretty blond girl, with a nametag that said Jessica, stood off to the side.

-

“Gabe, what’s going on?” Sam turned around to ask, only to find Gabriel on one knee, holding a small box in his right hand. Sam put a hand over his mouth, briefly glancing over to their brothers, both of whom were grinning at him.

“Sam Winchester.” Gabriel began, staring up at him fondly. “I have spent so much of my life looking for the right person. The one I’d fall in love with. The person I’d spend the rest of my life with. Still, no matter how many cheesy movies I’ve watched or books I’ve read, I never knew that it would feel like this. I had no idea that any one person could change my life so much, but here you are.”

Sam was vaguely aware of Dean recording it all on his phone, but at the moment, his eyes were completely on Gabriel.

“I remember coming here on our first date, and looking at everything, and I couldn’t help thinking that you were still the most striking thing in the room.”

Gabe laughed, but it was clear he was trying his hardest not to get choked up. He seemed determined to finish his speech, so he ignored the stray tear that spilled down his cheek as he spoke.

“But now, I look around, and the longer I’ve known you, the more beautiful _everything_ seems. It’s like I’m looking at the world through rose colored glasses. I’ve never been more happy in my life, and it’s all because of you. You helped me to see the goodness in everything around me, like you’ve brought out the light from every corner of the earth. 

“Things haven’t always been easy for us, but together, I think that you and me can make it through anything. We’ve made it this far, and I think we’re capable of anything. The only thing I don’t think I’d be able to get through is losing you. And I hope to god that I never have to know what that kind of pain feels like.

“Sam, will you please give me the honor of being your husband, of being mine for the rest of our lives?”

 

-

Gabriel finally finished, still trying to fight back tears, even though Sam was already crying, and Cas looked like he wasn’t too far off himself. Actually, Jess appeared to be having a moment to, but she was doing her best not to intrude.

He held his breath, waiting for an answer. It took a second for Sam to respond, and even though Gabriel was fairly certain of the answer, he was still anxious. 

\- 

“Of course, Gabriel!” Sam finally got his voice, although his eyes were still watery. He knew Dean would probably give him shit over it later, but right now, Sam was so far away that Gabriel may as well have been the only other person in the room.

-

Gabriel was about to slide the ring onto Sam’s finger before he remembered to show him the engraving first.

“Hold it up to the light and read what it says inside.”

Sam gasped quietly, reading the words until they blurred in front of him.

-

Sam slipped the ring onto his finger, admiring how the silver band shone in the lights, before pulling Gabe into a kiss. It might have lasted a little too long, which was hinted by Dean’s look of disgust when they pulled apart. But who cared? He was only going to get engaged once, and Gabriel had made it absolutely perfect.

xxx

They’d started the planning right away, since Sam was set on having a summer wedding. There was a lot to do before then, and Gabriel was glad that Sam at least seemed to know what he was doing. Luckily, they agreed on most things, and on the few details where they didn’t, they took turns with who got to make the final decision. In the end, everything was gorgeous, and both of their tastes worked in a wonderful harmony. They were holding the ceremony itself in the Como conservatory, but the venue wasn’t big enough for the reception. 

Of course, they had both groomsmen and groomsmaids, because Charlie and Jo were _not_ going to be left out of the wedding. And so, the girls got simple tangerine dresses, and the men wore matching ties.

 

-

They’d had to set up a couple of dressing rooms in the administrative building beforehand, and of course, Sam and Gabriel’s had to be separate. 

Sam paced nervously in front of the mirror, adjusting his tuxedo and tugging down the sleeves. Dean stopped him before he could re-do his bowtie for the fifth time.

“Dude, cut it out. You’re gonna be fine. If you don’t stop pacing, I’m gonna tie you to a chair.” 

Sam nodded, taking a deep breath and sitting down. He was sporting a face splitting grin, even though he looked a little bit like he might get sick.

On an unrelated note, whoever invented cummerbunds was definitely going to hell.

-

On the opposite side of the wall from Sam’s room, Gabriel was verging on a breakdown, with only Cas there to attempt comfort. All of the other groomsmen were in the larger room, with Sam.

“But what if we don’t work out? We already almost broke up once, Cas. I’m not good with commitments. Really, not with relationships in general. Sam deserves better than that.”

“Gabriel. You did _not_ almost break up. Spending time apart didn’t mean you stopped wanting to be with each other. And remember how sure you were about this when you proposed? What happened to that confidence? I know that you’re nervous, but Gabriel, have you completely forgotten how much Sam loves you? How crazy you are about each other? It’s going to be fine.”

“Yeah, until when? Eventually he’s going to realize that he could’ve done better. Cas, I don’t _deserve_ him.” Gabriel couldn’t even stop the words from coming out. These were same fears he’d been having since they first started their relationship, except he’d never vocalized them before. Sam was smarter, nicer, taller. There was nothing about Gabriel that was deserving of Sam.

“Are you joking? Gabriel, I’ve known Sam Winchester for the last two years. I’ve known you for my entire life. And I don’t think I’ve ever heard of two people being so deserving of each other. You’re _both_ smart, and kind, important. That man wouldn’t be marrying you if he didn’t know that you were the one.”

Cas sounded so sure of himself. Gabriel could’ve used some of that confidence right about then.

“I just don’t know what he sees in me. I never really have, to be honest. I think I’ve known all along that this was too good to be true. I feel like I’m keeping him from living the life he should have.”

Cas shook his head, with an unusually frustrated expression.

“The only life Sam should have is with you. I promise, I know him well enough to understand just how heartbroken he would be without you. I’m not going to let ‘cold feet’ keep you from going through with this. You’re going to go out there, and say your vows, and you’ll realize that everything you’re saying right now is a lie. Trust me, Gabriel. Everything is going to be fine.”

While it may not have been entirely convincing, Gabe assured himself that Cas was usually right, and he would never forgive himself if he backed out now. If Sam really did think that Gabriel was worth all of this, maybe it was time to start believing him.

-

Since Gabe had been the one to propose, and because he wasn’t about to ask one of his parents to walk him down the aisle, he stood at the altar first. Sam followed shortly after, escorted by Ellen. Even though he knew what the tux was going to look like, Gabriel could still feel his jaw dropping as he stared at Sam, who was looking back at him with just as much awe and adoration. And that was when Cas’ words really sunk in. Except things weren’t going to be fine.They were going to be so, _so_ much better than fine. Gabe was so in love that it actually hurt.

Of course, it would have been too easy to use the standard vows, when they had the opportunity to write their own. Then again, Gabriel didn’t really want to complain about it, since Sam was right. He had so much more he wanted to say, and it had to be in his own words. Sam deserved more than standard, impersonal vows that had no story or sentiment behind them. Neither of them was much of a poet, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t say something beautiful about each other. Being that in love was like a kind of poetry all on its own. 

Sam went first, and with shaking hands, delivered one of the most beautiful speeches Gabriel had ever heard in his life. 

“Gabriel. I knew that you were different from the first day I met you. The way that you were able to go through that accident like you did, and still be so optimistic, and so forgiving. I see people day in and day out, who let situations like that make them bitter and unhappy, but not once did you dwell on what had happened. I knew you were different, on the second date, when I already trusted you like I trust my own family. I knew you were different, from the way that you have taken nothing for granted, in the entire time I’ve known you. You have such a positive outlook on life, and are able to see the upside in anything. They say that your true love, the one you’re meant to be with, will make you a better person…”

Sam paused a second before continuing, and Gabriel realized that this was exactly what he hadn’t been hearing. Here Sam was, spelling out in plain english exactly why he wanted to be with Gabriel. He’d just been too stupid to listen before.

“And that’s exactly what you’ve done. You’ve brought me out of my shell, and you complete me in a way I didn’t understand I was lacking. I love you, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

That was going to be damned hard to top, too. Gabe was wondering if maybe he should have gone first. Too late now, though. He took a second to collect himself before he spoke, hoping that he would be able to get the entire speech out before breaking down.

“Sam. For someone who has faced so much tragedy and hardship in their life, you have been one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever known. You taught me that I was capable of overcoming anything. We’ve been through a lot together, but with you, it always seems to be okay in the end. And I don’t think that’s a coincidence at all.”

On impulse, he reached out and grabbed Sam’s hands with his own, perhaps for stabilization.

“We’re better together than we on our own, and with you, I think I could survive anything. I’m sure that life is nowhere near done with us yet, but I can rest easily, knowing that whatever I might have to face, from here on out, I won’t have to do it alone. I feel like with you, I’m invincible. I love you, Sam, and I can’t picture a future without you in it. So you’d better live long enough that I can die first.” He said the last part with a smile, earning a laugh from most of the audience, even though Gabriel himself was blinking back tears.

“I never thought I’d see myself in an actual committed relationship, but with you, I don’t think I could ever get enough. Forever seems too short for us to be together, but I’ll take all the time that I’m allowed.”

By the time they finally slid on each other’s rings, there were tear tracks sliding down Sam’s cheeks, accompanied by a smile bright enough to replace not only the sun, but all the other stars along with it. 

-

They were taking wedding photos in the conservatory before leaving for the reception, so once the ceremony was finished, the whole party had to gather in front of the photographer and hold uncomfortable poses for the better part of an hour. The longer the minutes ticked by, the more forced everyone’s smiled became, until the point where Sam and Gabe were the only ones who still looked legitimately happy, still basking in their newlywed glory.

After what seemed like the fortieth pose, Jo managed to save them all.

“I think we can cross ‘lively parties’ off of the list of gay stereotypes you two follow.” Even though she said it in a joking voice, even Sam and Gabriel couldn’t deny the honesty of the statement. 

Thankfully, that managed to get everyone to give a genuine smile for at least a few seconds, which was just long enough to get a picture of it all. Sam thanked the photographer, promising him that he was sure the last picture would be just fine. Gabriel crossed his fingers and prayed that nobody had blinked.

And now, at last, they could leave. Gabe thanked Jo again before they got in the car to go. 

-

Once they were in the car, Sam realized that this was their first moment alone together as husbands, and he had to make sure he commemorated it with a quick kiss before they left. 

Gabriel drove them both back to the hotel where the reception was being held, while Sam’s eyes never leaving his beautiful face. They couldn’t stop laughing, and Sam still couldn’t control his tears, even if they were out of happiness. This was, without a doubt, the greatest day of his life. There was no way he could imagine this with anyone else. Gabriel was it. Gabriel was all he would ever need. 

-

They only had about a half hour at the ballroom before the reception started, thanks to the long drive between the locations. Luckily, everything there seemed to be set up, so there was no last minute rush to fix anything. The Dahlia centerpieces were gorgeous, and the cake looked delicious. Sam laughed when he noticed that the two grooms on top even had a height difference. He was glad he’d left Gabriel in charge of the food.

Their first dance song, naturally, was Queen’s _You take my Breath Away_. Even though neither of them were particularly gifted dancers, together their steps fit together seamlessly, and it suddenly didn’t matter that there were hundreds of people looking at them. Out on that floor, they were the only two people on earth. 

Things sped up a bit once the other couples joined them on the floor, and Dean and Cas even stepped out for a few songs. 

Both John and Gabriel’s parents were seated with them at the head table, though luckily they were on opposite sides. Sam had the distinct feeling that the three of them wouldn’t really get along all that well.

Bobby and Ellen were also seated next to John, all three of Sam’s parents. Ash and Jo, of course, had been in the wedding, as well as Charlie, and some other friends. Everyone sounded like they were having a great time, and Sam marvelled at the fact that everyone he loved, all of his friends and family were right here, in this room. Well, everyone except Lyla, but even so. He’d never felt so lucky in all his life.

-

When it came time for toasts, both of their brothers both gave lovely speeches, though they seemed to be having trouble tearing their eyes off of each other long enough to focus on Sam and Gabriel. They just might have been the second happiest couple in the room, that day. Still, it was touching hearing them each speak about Sam and Gabriel’s relationship, and how the two of them seemed to have been specially crafted for one another by fate itself. Cas even reminisced about how he’d known Sam was the one when Gabriel started eating salad after Sam’s example. Gabriel really hoped that the next wedding he’d attend would be Dean and Cas’.

-

The reception lasted for hours, but was over too soon all the same. They weren’t leaving for their honeymoon until the next day, and before everyone left, Sam made sure to thank Adam again. He was taking two full weeks off of work for the trip, and all the other therapists were working to cover the rest of his shifts, with Adam taking the brunt of it. Then again, since Adam was recently engaged himself, Sam would probably get to make it up to him soon.

For now though, Sam didn’t even want to think about work, or bills, or anything except this exact moment, with his husband.

-

 

After the business of the previous day, neither Sam nor Gabriel wanted to wake up early the next day to leave, but they didn’t have much option in that if they wanted to get there on schedule. With a groan, Gabriel rolled out of bed to make coffee, while Sam fumbled to put his leg on, still half asleep.

-

They filled up Sam’s car with load after load of everything they could possibly need, including Lyla, who was joining them. It looked like Sam had packed the entire apartment, but Gabe knew for a fact that somehow he still would’ve managed to forget something important. He always managed to miss the most obvious things.

Before they left, Gabriel made a quick once over, making sure to check for anything that sam should have packed. Naturally, Sam had left out his camera and the condoms. It was their _honeymoon_ for god’s sakes.

-

 

Long car rides were a great time to sing loudly and have intimate conversations, and a lot of both of these things carried out throughout the day. In true road trip tradition, there was also a bag full of junk food to be passed back and forth throughout the ride (although it spent the majority of the time on Gabriel’s side.)

By the time Little Red Corvette came on, Sam could probably be heard half a mile down the highway, especially with the windows rolled down. It was a good thing he had a decent voice. Gabriel just smiled, marvelling in the fact that this glorious dork was all his, forever. He wouldn’t trade that for the world.

After making several stops for gas and food throughout the day, they were finally there by nine that evening, with plenty of time for a bonfire before they went to bed. It wasn’t even completely dark out yet, and there was an unopened bag of marshmallows practically calling out to them. 

When they’d been looking at locations, Sam had suggested Montana, and when he showed him some pictures of the lakeside cabins they could rent there, Gabriel was sold. They were going to Flathead in the morning, and hiking in the afternoon, and doing at least a dozen other things before they went back to Minnesota. For now though, both were completely contempt with just sitting around the fire together, lighting perfectly good marshmallows on fire.

They managed to go back and forth talking and eating until the fire had almost completely died down, and neither of them had the energy to go get more wood.

Gabriel suddenly noticed that they were the only people outside right now, and it was too dark to make out many details from a distance. Without mentioning his intentions to Sam, he stood up and began pulling off clothes, leaving a trail as he walked down to the edge of the lake.

Thank god it was July, because the water was warm enough for this, even at night. It only took a minute before he saw Sam following after him, unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it somewhere to the side. Finally, as his last item of clothing was discarded, Sam took off his prosthetic and hopped to join Gabriel in the water. He was laughing, mostly at himself.

While skinny dipping probably hadn’t been on the honeymoon itinerary, it was definitely proving to be a lot of fun. They were like five year olds, splashing at each other and dancing around like idiots. By the time they got out of the water, they were both completely soaked, and their fingertips shrivelled up like prunes. Sam managed to get his leg back on, but they quickly gave up on finding the rest of their things in the dark. They would have to come back out and collect them in the morning. 

Climbing into bed, Gabriel couldn’t stop thinking about the day before. What he’d said, and what Sam had said, and most importantly , what the officiant had said. He could still hear the words, crystal clear in his memory. “Husband and husband.” They were now Sam and Gabriel Novak-Winchester. A little lengthy, but it sounded like music to Gabriel’s ears.

It was official, documented, final. Everything was legally bound and promised, and Gabriel actually wasn’t scared about it. If anything, thinking about just how real it all was only made him happier. Sam was his, and he was Sam’s. There was no better way to spend an eternity.

Sam climbed in behind him, pulling Gabriel tightly against his chest before reaching behind his back to shut off the lamp.

“Goodnight.” Sam whispered into his ear, sliding an arm over Gabriel’s waist.

“Goodnight.”

“I love you.” 

“Love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over! I hope you all enjoyed it! (You should let me know by commenting)
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be afraid to leave comments! (I need them to live)


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